Chapter 11
Cosima
I wasn’t sure why I had been so opposed to this idea of being with Zsekhet.
I liked the way he talked, the sound of his voice, but mostly his words.
Not to mention that he was always trying to please me with the things I liked.
When Krashe had shown him how Naomi responded to getting flowers, he’d gotten with that program in an instant.
That lust brewed between us was undeniable but how could I move on with my heart, after Caleb? If I believed these Naga and their whole fated mate thing, then Zsekhet was my true love, not Caleb, and how could that be?
“You loved another,” Zsekhet whispered, pulling back from my mouth to gaze at me with his intense, golden eyes.
The pupils weren’t quite round, shaped more like a vertical line, thicker in the middle, and with two dots on either end.
I was startled by those words, and flushed guiltily when I realized my thoughts had strayed when he’d been showing me all the kissing skills he’d learned in the past couple of hours.
I raised a shoulder, unsure if I should mention Caleb when I was sitting in Zsekhet’s arms on a bed. That was a total mood kill, wasn’t it? And I was sure I wanted to lose myself for a little while in the pleasure that Zsekhet had to offer. There was no better way to pass the time.
“You can tell me, my sweet Cosima. I wish to understand. We need to have this talk if we ever want to move forward, don’t you think?
” He spoke gently, kindly, but it was the tenderness in his eyes that got to me.
He pulled me into his lap, cradling me close, and then he urged me again in the softest murmur to speak.
Fine, I guess I needed to tell someone about what had happened to me at some point anyway. Why not Zsekhet? He was funny, he was protective, and he was kind. But he was also my mate, and this was about Caleb. How would he take that?
“I was engaged to my childhood sweetheart. This boy who’d lived next door to me most of my life.
Caleb and I were thick as thieves so it just made sense to get married, mated.
” I hesitated as I remembered all the good times I’d shared with my best friend, the mischief we’d gotten up to as kids, or the pranks we’d pulled as college students.
With a deep breath I continued, “Then we were chosen as the pair of interns to accompany this big architectural firm to design the first city to be built on Scrak-4. A planet that had recently been added to the UAR.” Zsekhet was nodding along but I was pretty sure he had no idea what the UAR meant, even if the girls and I had regularly talked about it.
According to Vera, it had been really hard to make Zathar grasp the enormity of what the UAR entailed.
“UAR means United Alliance of Races. You need to think of it as a collection of Clans together. Three Clans, only these Clans are so big they live on multiple words, all throughout a huge section of space. Inhabiting all these planets that just like Serant, circle the stars you can see at night.” I gestured up at the ceiling and then hid a wince when I realized it just emphasized how locked up were right now, trapped beneath a mountain as Zsekhet had described it.
“That is a lot of people,” Zsekhet said quietly.
“I have seen how it looks, many people together from the sky. I have seen the skies. I can’t imagine traveling beyond them like you have.
” He sounded intrigued and curious, almost eager to find out what it would be like and I felt myself shut down.
There was nothing good out there, not anymore.
And I realized that meant I kind of liked it here, on Serant.
“The UAR had a company of soldiers to accompany us on Scrak-4, named such as it was the fourth planet from the Scrak sun. On the very first day of our arrival, we were attacked, the soldiers killed, and Caleb and I were taken captive.” I shuddered from the memory.
Makeshift explosions had blown up our vehicles, my ears ringing as Caleb and I crawled from the wreck; disoriented and scared.
Sand in our noses, the hot air of the planet had beat down on us, dazzling our senses against the shimmering crystal sands.
“The Scrakoid rebels wanted to make the UAR surrender their planet back to them. We’d been assured that the inhabitants had willingly joined the UAR’s banner, but…
These rebels made it clear that was not the case.
They were going to try to use Caleb and me to bargain.
They wanted their land back.” I didn’t see Zsekhet as I sat in his arms, I was back in that room on Scrak-4 when they beat Caleb to death in front of me.
I could feel the tears streaming down my face but I still found myself talking.
Now that I’d started the story, I couldn’t stop.
“Caleb was killed the first day we were held captive, he tried to protect me and they did not take kindly to that. After that, they were more careful with me but only because they were afraid to lose their bargaining power. I was held in a tiny cell for nearly a year. I covered the wall with the marks I carved to count the days…” A year stuck in a damp, tiny room with a bucket and a bed, and only a shower whenever a guard thought I smelled too much.
It had been hell, and I hadn’t believed I’d ever get my freedom.
“They made a mistake when they filmed carving the translator implants out of my head.” My hand touched the scar behind my left ear, the worst one because they’d started there and I’d fought.
I’d already let Zsekhet in on that bit, so I skimmed over the details.
He was growling, his body tense beneath mine, but his arms were tender as he cradled me to his chest. I felt safe.
“The UAR used that film to locate their base, they raided it and finally freed me.” But that freedom had just been an illusion.
They’d taken me to a hospital, patched up my injuries, and even given me shots to restore the nutrients I’d been missing.
Then they’d promised that if I went into stasis, I’d wake up and find myself at home. I just needed to go to sleep.
Anger rose hot and sudden in my chest, my fists balling in my lap with impotent rage.
I had fucking climbed into that stasis pod of my own free will, thinking I was going home and ending the nightmare.
The first days after I’d found myself on Serant, I had wanted to believe so badly that there had been some kind of mistake.
“After they rescued me, the UAR, they told me I was going home. But they lied,” I gritted the words out from between my teeth. My emotions were a hot, tangled mess that told me I wasn’t really done healing from all of this, maybe I never would.
Zsekhet hissed, “Such a terrible tale. If I could, I would fly through the stars on Ses and destroy every single one that harmed you. I would take your injuries and bear them as my own, and if I could, I would save this Caleb you loved, even if it meant losing you.” He spoke every word with heartfelt conviction, his sigils glowing brightly along his body with his passion.
I knew he meant it, and it eased some of my anger, enough for a hesitant smile.
“The UAR meant to sell me into slavery like the others, just to silence me for what I knew of the Scrakoids and the situation on Scrak-4. But you know? I’m not so mad anymore that I ended up here.
” Going home had meant my own bed, and maybe my elderly mom to dote on me a little, but it had also meant facing my dad and very likely his disappointment.
He had always been very good at blaming others for what was either his fault or beyond their control.
Getting kidnapped and held hostage for a year would have just been another blemish on my record.
Without Caleb at my side, there wasn’t really much to return to.
I had more clarity, now that I wasn’t so shell-shocked and grieving.
I could see the warmth the girls shared, the way they cared for me even if I’d been a quiet, withdrawn little hermit.
I could see how good and kind the males were that they had mated with, and how much laughter there still was to be had.
The biggest question that remained, was whether I was able to open up my heart to this mate thing, and move on from Caleb.
“That is good. It feels selfish but I too am glad that you ended up on my world, with me.” Zsekhet proved that he could move on from the dark stuff, letting go of that anger he’d felt on my behalf for now.
He grinned, tilting my head to face me, “You are in good hands. I promise I won’t let us stay trapped in here.
” He gave me a cocky smirk and that sent flutters through my belly.
No, he was right. I did trust him, and I did have faith that we’d get out.
This situation was very different from Scrak-4, where rescue had to come from the UAR who didn’t care one bit about my tiny life.
Here, I knew that Kalani, Vera, and the other girls would move heaven and earth to try to find us, and they had strong warriors on their sides to do it.
I was just contemplating what kind of things we could be doing to get out of here when Zsekhet cupped my chin and tilted my head to look at him.
“You know that I am not replacing Caleb in your heart, don’t you?
” he said gently. “He was your mate, and he was a good male, protecting you with everything he had. He was your human mate, and I am your Naga mate.”