Chapter 8
We hide in the ancient root cellar for hours.
There were only two units of guards waiting to ambush us—a total of no more than sixteen. Any more than that would get attention, so they were no doubt hoping to use the surprise ambush rather than sheer numbers to get us.
Get me.
Roderick and Vella are pretty sure they hit four of them before they ran, but that still leaves up to a dozen men out there searching.
The entrance to this cellar is blocked by a lot of dead brush, so it’s almost impossible to find unless you know what you’re looking for.
But still…
There’s a chance one of the guards could stumble on it, and we can’t risk retreating back to the outpost until we have some confidence that they’ve given up.
Hopefully they didn’t catch anyone else.
It’s well after noon before someone knocks on the old wood door. “They’ve cleared out of the area.”
That sounds like Chelle.
There’s a loud combined sigh of relief in the cellar.
Chelle looks worried as we start to climb out. “Are you all okay down there?”
“Yes. Roderick has some torn skin from running through brambles, but no one is seriously injured down here. What’s the word from the others?”
“Everyone made it except poor Troy.” Chelle’s face works for a moment before she controls it. Everyone loved Troy. “But we got his body back. The guards just left it there on the ground. Bastards.”
“Well, that’s something. Did Ben and Ryan return?”
“Not yet.”
“Shit.” I force myself to push back the worry because there’s so much else to deal with right now. “Anyone spot Jasper? He—” My voice breaks unexpectedly, more from lingering shock and betrayal than any attachment to the young man.
He might not have been deeply embedded, but he was one of us.
It’s a wound.
“Georgie saw what happened and got a few people to go after him. They caught him. They put him in the cell to wait for you.”
“Good. Good work. Let’s head back then.”
The mood at the outpost is tense and subdued. It’s recognizable before I get even a few steps in.
I spend a few minutes on logistics, checking in on what’s happened and making sure Roderick gets some medical attention.
Before he limps off with Tony, who is as close as we have to a medic, I touch his sleeve. “Hey, Roderick.”
He turns to look at me.
“You saved my life. Thank you.”
He gives me a tired smile. “It was my honor.”
Vella gives him a small salute when he passes. Then she moves to stand close to me.
“Thank you too,” I tell her.
She shrugs off the thanks, as she always does. “I’m worried about Ben and Ryan. Shouldn’t they be back by now?”
“Yes, I would have thought so. But maybe they’re waiting to get the information they need. Ben will know to get back before dark today at the very latest, so I’m not going to worry until then.”
I’m telling myself as much as I’m telling her because my stomach is twisting with nerves. And not only about Ben and Ryan’s continued absence.
I need to do something about Jasper.
As if she read my mind, Vella asks in her nonsoft version of a whisper, “What do we do about the traitor?”
“I… don’t know.”
“Probably should make an example. Can’t let folks think they can get away with betraying us like that.”
“I know.” I make a reluctant face, something I wouldn’t do with anyone but Vella or Ben. “Shit, why the hell did he do that?”
“Greedy. Or maybe desperate. We don’t know anything about his situation.”
“I know. Probably better we don’t.”
“I agree.”
Biting back a groan, I give myself a small shake. “Okay. I’m going to change clothes, clean up, and then go see about Troy’s body. I’ll deal with Jasper after that.”
Troy was shot four times. They must have cleaned him up a little after they brought him back, but his clothes are bloodied and the gunshot wounds are painfully obvious.
He looks so pale. Young.
He was a boy with a crush this morning, and now he’s a cold, dead body.
I drop to my knees beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder. No one else is around, and I feel sick and sad.
And guilty.
Like Troy dead on the ground is my fault.
He would have done anything for me. He was so proud about helping to set up a meeting with Robin. He’d heard word of our doings for years, so he set out to find us as soon as he was old enough to leave home.
He’d still be alive right now if it weren’t for me.
I hug my arms to my stomach and lean over slightly, trying to contain the swelling emotion.
It wasn’t his fault he trusted his cousin. Troy did absolutely nothing wrong. Nothing to deserve this.
I’m wrapped up in my own thoughts but not enough to miss a new stirring in the camp. Something is happening.
Turning around, I see what it is.
Ryan, talking to Vella across the courtyard.
And Ben—Ben—running toward me.
He’s upset. That much is obvious from the urgency of his stride and the tension on his face. He must have sensed vibes on returning, demanded to hear what was happening, and then rushed toward me.
And now he’s here before I can even get to my feet.
For a moment, I think he’s going to pull me up and hug me, and part of me wants that right now, even though it’s not something we ever do.
But after a weird moment, he drops to his knees beside me. Reaches out to put one big hand on my thigh. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Well, I should’ve been here, but that’s not what I meant. I’m sorry you had to go through all this shit alone.”
For some reason, that gets to me. I feel like I’m choking. Turn my face away from him to regain my control.
His hand is warm and heavy on my leg. I feel it even through the denim of my jeans.
“Thank you,” I manage to say at last. “But I had Vella and Roderick. They did good. Everyone did good.”
“Except Jasper.”
“Yes. Except Jasper.” I straighten my shoulders and inhale, but the air comes in with a rasp. “Shit.”
“You’re gonna have to deal with it. Soon.”
“I know. I’m going to do it right away.” It’s the last thing in the world I want to do now.
It’s the last thing in the world I want to do any time.
“Let me do it for you,” Ben bursts out.
I blink as I peer at him. There’s no obvious evidence in his expression, but I know he’s still upset. He’s as upset right now as I am.
“I can do it. Give it to me.”
I clear my throat, so tempted it takes several seconds for me to get the next thing said. “Thank you. But no. It has to be me.”
I take another minute to say goodbye to Troy, but then I gesture toward Vella near the entrance of the building.
It doesn’t take long for her to go inside and return, dragging a visibly scared Jasper by the arm.
I can see the urge to flee on his face, so I’m not surprised when he yanks himself out of Vella’s grip and starts running.
Ben grabs him easily before he gets more than a few feet away and then pulls him over to stand in front of me.
“It wasn’t my fault!”
I ignore this and speak loud enough to be heard by everyone who has gathered around to watch but without any particular inflection. “Do you have a friend who knows Robin?”
“No. I’m sorry. I’ve got a friend who’s a guard, and he had the idea. Thought maybe the idea of Robin would get you to come. The president is in an uproar about you and was offering a big reward.”
“So they bribed you to betray us?”
He must realize his desperate ramblings revealed too much because he backtracks quickly. “No, no, I’m not greedy. I felt… I mean, they were really bullying me to help out. It wasn’t the reward. I didn’t know anyone would get hurt.”
“You must have known I’d be captured and then killed. And so would everyone with me. Including Troy, your cousin.”
“I didn’t want that to happen! But it’s really his own fault! He should have—”
He can’t say anything else because I’ve pulled my pistol out of its holster and shot him square in the middle of his forehead.
He drops. Dead. In no more than three seconds.
I holster my gun, feeling sicker than ever. I glance toward Ben but then have to look away before the deep sympathy I can see in his eyes makes me soft.
I can never be soft.
“It had to be done,” Vella says. “He was a traitor.”
I can tell from the timbre of her voice that she’s saying this for everyone else’s benefit and not for mine.
“He was,” I agree. “He betrayed us and put all of us in danger. That’s something I’ll never allow.”
I look around at the gathered faces and see not a single one that appears surprised or disapproving.
Like me, they mostly look exhausted and sad.
“Tony, can you and Georgie take care of Troy’s body? We’ll bury him tomorrow morning. And I’ll need a few volunteers to take Jasper’s body back to his village. You’ll need to be careful on the road—pretend to be traders or something—but I’d like his family to have his body to bury. Volunteers?”
Several hands go up, and I pick out four, since the trip will be safer with more guns.
“Okay,” I say after that’s decided. “Everyone else, back to your duties. We don’t know if or when they’ll come at us again.”
The crowd starts dispersing at last, which means I can let go of my pretense of perfect composure. Ben is standing nearby, waiting like me for everyone to leave.
Only then does he step closer. He doesn’t say anything. He’s peering at my face.
“I need to hear about your trip,” I manage to say. There’s something shaky inside me that’s about to fall apart. It will take only the slightest push, and I’ll collapse.
“Later.”
I start to argue but simply don’t have the energy.
“Let’s go back to the command station,” Ben says. “We can talk there.”
That seems like a reasonable option, and I’ll be happy to have fewer people see me right now. Ben takes my arm, which is unusual, but I don’t pull away. It actually helps to have his support since my knees don’t feel entirely stable.
When we go inside, someone comes over to ask a question, but Ben waves him away. I don’t know why, but I don’t care that much.
Ryan is at the desk in the command station, scanning for live radio broadcasts and jotting down notes on what he hears, something he often does when he doesn’t have another duty.
“Can we have the room?” Ben asks him.
I blink in surprise, but Ryan gets up immediately. “Sure thing. Just let me know if there’s anything you need me to do.” He shifts his eyes to me. “Thank you, ma’am. That was the right thing to do.”
I manage to nod in response, but I don’t trust myself to speak.
Ryan leaves the room, closing the door behind him with a soft click.
“Why don’t you sit down?” Ben says.
I see no reason not to do it, so I lower myself to the sofa. Ben sits down beside me, much closer than he normally sits.
“What are you doing?” I ask, just a little wobbly.
“Come here to me.” He lifts an arm and makes a summoning gesture with his hand. “You did so good. But it’s only me here now. You don’t have to hold on anymore.”
And that does it.
The emotion breaks into helpless shakes and shudders, and I make a choked sound as Ben pulls me against him, tightening both his arms around me.