Chapter 6 #2
“You diss my porn, foolish woman? I’m going to tell your Master Raoul what you called his cock.” Sally hummed “Puff, the Magic Dragon.”
Linda choked on her drink. Uzuri snorted. Anne and Olivia laughed.
Kim’s mouth dropped open. “You wouldn’t.”
Sally hummed louder.
“Hey, it’s my turn to make Anne a toast.” Beth put down the recliner section of the couch and struggled to her feet, swaying slightly.
“I don’t know what you’re going to toast to, Beth.
” Anne smiled up at the slender redhead—one of the most courageous women she knew.
Actually, she was proud to call each and every one of the women in the room a friend.
“So far, I’ve been wished a long life, wealth, happiness and”—she grinned at Sally—“and great, inventive sex, at which, just so you know, I’m already superb. ”
Sally threw a popcorn at her.
“You threw popcorn!” Uzuri eyed Sally narrowly. “I’m going to tell your Masters. They’ll have you cleaning the place on your hands and knees.”
“Naked,” Olivia contributed.
“Oh yes. Definitely naked.” Kim waggled her eyebrows. “Master R has a very…aggressive…reaction if I get naked to scrub the floors.”
“Really?” Sally’s response was so intrigued, everyone laughed.
“Ahem.” Beth lifted her glass. “To Anne. May you find your ultimate man and may his needs match what you want to give, and vice versa.”
“Man?” Kim grinned at Beth. “Girlfriend, haven’t you noticed Anne prefers pretty boys?”
When Beth hesitated, Anne said warmly, “That was a lovely blessing. Thank you.”
Beth dropped onto the couch with a bounce and put her feet back up. “Nolan said Anne played with Ben, and he’s sure not a boy.”
No, he certainly isn’t.
“I’m still surprised that Z didn’t kill you for messing with his guard,” Olivia said. “But, since he didn’t, will you be taking Ben on as a slave?”
Sally planted herself on the arm of the sectional beside Uzuri, looking expectant. Linda leaned forward.
“What a nosy bunch. I should string you all up to a cross and beat on your butts for a while.”
She only got grins back along with a muttered, “Just try it, chickie,” from Olivia.
“There’s no respect left in the world for over-the-hill Mistresses,” Anne said mournfully. Then again, she’d listened to all of their stories, had lent a shoulder for tears, had given advice.
She just wasn’t used to sharing her own.
Military brats made casual friends at the drop of a hat—and learned how much it hurt to lose the close ones. She hadn’t had a girlfriend since she was ten. But she had several now. And friendship was a two-way street, wasn’t it?
She still had to draw in some air before she could speak. “No, I won’t take Ben on. Olivia, you were right. Messing with Z’s guard dog isn’t a smart move.”
“Does he not suit you?” Linda asked in her beautifully melodic voice. “I saw some of your scene and you both looked…complete.”
The sweet remark and the memory of the sheer…rightness…of the scene silenced Anne for a moment.
Kim grinned. “Cullen talked to Raoul about it. He was all worried you’d squish Ben’s balls or something.”
“He was?” Anne winced, the hurt as unexpected as a paper cut. Surely, Cullen knew she’d never give a submissive more than he wanted—and sometimes not even that.
“Ohh, squish the balls. Please!” Sally bounced on the sectional.
“You know how Ben’s so picky about our shoes.
Almost nothing is good enough, so then you get the growl.
‘Take those shoes off.’ But once Anne finishes torturing his manly bits, he’ll sound like this”—she pitched her voice to a high falsetto—“Take dos shoes oooff.”
As the women broke out in laughter, Anne choked on her drink and grinned. She’d have to tell Ben what Sally had said.
Or not. Distance would be best.
How pitiful that just hearing his name had sped up her pulse. She still remembered the feel of his callused hands caressing her breasts. And wouldn’t she just love to tie him to a cross, so she could run her own hands all over him.
Stop. Now. Stay in the real world, not fantasyland. “You do realize, if a subbie could still talk, I’d feel as if I fell down on the job.”
“Oooh, poor Ben,” Sally said, doing a mime where a speechless Ben motioned to Uzuri to remove her shoes.
Uzuri blinked her imaginary confusion and pretended to hand Ben her thong instead.
Sally gaped and flung the thong from her in mortification.
“Oh, that’s too realistic.” Linda clapped. “Isn’t it cute how poor Ben still becomes embarrassed?”
“He blushes beautifully. I must say, he’s quite the hunk, if you prefer the masculine gender. And, from what I saw when Anne had him, he has a lot to squish.” Olivia’s cupped hands showed poor Ben had watermelon-sized testicles.
Poor Ben had better never hear how the women discussed him, or he’d be blushing for a month.
Olivia continued, “I also noticed you didn’t push the pain when you scened with him. Did he make that a hard limit?”
“No.” Anne took a sip and studied the color of her drink. “I just didn’t have any urge to make him scream. I haven’t needed that in a while.”
Silence.
“But you were with Joey, and he’s a total pain-slut.” Sally yelped when Uzuri elbowed her in the ribs.
“You’re being impolite,” Uzuri scolded. Despite being a covert prankster, she was also the most respectful and courteous of the Shadowkittens.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t—”
“It’s all right, Sally,” Anne said. “I’m over Joey.” Although she had to admit his absence had created an aching void in her life. But no matter how delightful he’d been, Joey’s dependence had become exhausting. “He wanted a full-time Mistress and, as you said, a higher level of pain.”
Olivia tilted her head. “I’ve noticed when your scenes contain more dominance than sadism, you appear most satisfied.”
“If your scenes are changing, are you changing as well?” Linda asked softly.
Changing. The foul word chilled Anne’s skin like the spray from a sleet storm. On the screen, Jennifer Grey was confronting her father for the first time. “Baby” was growing up, becoming a woman. I’m already a woman. Way past all that.
“You know, I really hate that word—change.” Anne’s voice came out thin. Small.
“Oh, Anne.” Linda slid from the couch to sit on Anne’s right, close enough that their shoulders rubbed as she said softly, “The earth is all about change. The seasons move from summer to winter. The continental plates push up mountains that the weather slowly grinds back down. On this planet, in this universe, nothing stands still.”
Change. Just the thought set up a queasiness inside. “Some of us prefer to stay in summer.” She managed a half a smile. “And prefer that our scenes don’t shift under our feet.”
“Sam said part of the power in your scenes came from anger, and you chose slaves who fed off that anger and the pain.” Linda stopped, letting her silence ask the question—is that what changed?
“That’s the problem.” Anne swallowed the rest of her drink, wishing it were alcohol laden. “I’m not all that angry at men. Not any longer.”
“How come you were so mad?” Uzuri asked. “Did something happen that…” Her dusky skin darkened with her flush, and she turned her gaze to the television.
Anne twisted around to study her uneasily. The girl was going to have to talk about what had happened in her past one of these days. Z’s patience with the submissive’s so-called hard limit on her history wouldn’t last much longer. He’d given her a deadline, which was approaching fast.
But this wasn’t the time. She softened her voice. “No, Uzuri. More like an accumulation of job and family frustrations.”
“Family can sure mess with your head,” Sally said under her breath, her mouth twisting with unhappiness.
Remembering what Sally had shared about her unloving father, Anne squeezed her hand, hurting for her. “Hey. In the past, right?”
“In the past.” Sally managed a slight smile. “So what did your family do?”
Needing to take the pain out of Sally’s eyes, Anne offered up more than she would have normally. “My father was career military and totally old school. Dad believes girls are to be protected. They don’t fight, and his baby certainly shouldn’t be doing anything where she could get hurt.”
“Bugger that.” After a second, Olivia pointed her finger at Anne and smirked. “So, because your daddy wanted to protect you, you instantly signed up for danger. First as a Marine, then a cop.”
Stunned, Anne stared at her. “I-I never quite thought of my career choices in that light, but”—she tossed Olivia a salute—“probably it was a part.” Although the overprotective gene that ran rampant in her family probably also played a part.
“I knew you’d been a police officer, but you were a Marine too?” Uzuri’s eyes were big.
“Tough jobs, you had,” Kim said. “So, is bounty hunting more fun than being a cop?”
“Not really.” Her brothers and Dan, a police officer in the Shadowlands, had discovered why she’d left law enforcement, but she’d never discussed it with anyone. But…here…here, she could share and receive only sympathy. The realization created a lump in her throat.
She cleared her voice, feeling as if she were uncovering an old wound.
“I loved being a police officer, and I thought I’d like the people I was with.
Unfortunately, in the station I got, if you didn’t have balls, you were mostly an irritant.
” She imitated the lieutenant’s whiny voice.
“‘Female cops put real cops’ lives at risk and take up paying jobs needed by men supporting families.’ As far as the lieutenant was concerned, women officers were only good for fetching coffee or possibly retiring long-dead cases. ”
“Oh, that really sucks,” Sally said.
“Men can really suck,” Kim muttered.
“So you told them to sod off,” Olivia said in approval.
“Did you tie their balls into pretzel shapes before you quit?” Linda asked and made the rest laugh.
“I might have felt better about everything if I had.” But, over the years, apparently her frustrated resentment had eased. She knew who she was. What she could do. And had proven herself over and over.
“Did you like catching crooks? Is that why you’re a bounty hunter now?” Uzuri asked.
“I enjoy the chase, yes. Although, I’ve got a PI license and take cases for a friend now and then, I prefer the straight-forwardness of tossing a bad guy in jail—whether I do it as a cop or a bail bond agent.”
The main annoyance in the bail bond agent job—aside from Robert—was the way her uncles would have preferred to keep her in the office, not risking herself on the streets.
“The other people don’t give you grief for being female?” Sally asked.
“Not the same way. I lead the fugitive recovery team.” She grinned. “And, although I won’t tolerate being treated as less competent than a male, I rarely have to punch someone to prove I am anymore.”
Linda, mother of two grown children, smiled knowingly. “I bet you fought your way through grade school.”
“I came home with more black eyes and bruises than my two brothers combined.” Anne grinned. Looking back without the reddish lens of anger, she had to say, she’d had some fun.
“I don’t like violence,” Uzuri whispered, her eyes haunted.
Anne gentled her voice. Share with us, Uzuri. “Did you have to fight someone?”
“No. I don’t know how.” Uzuri shrank into the cushions.
Anne glanced at Olivia. Olivia tapped her watch…Uzuri’s deadline was going to end soon and then they’d get to the bottom of this.
“I didn’t fight at one time either,” Beth wrapped an arm around Uzuri’s shoulders. Beth’s ex had left her with scars that would never fade. “But I learned how.”
Sally bumped Uzuri’s shoulder on the other side. “Are you ever going to join our self-defense classes? Jessica hasn’t been able to come for a while, and Kari is hit-and-miss, because of baby Zane. One more person there would be good.”
“Maybe,” Uzuri said. But from the tone, maybe meant no.
Too softhearted to push, Sally changed the subject. “Speaking of which, you have baby duty tomorrow afternoon, right?”
Uzuri shook her head. “I have the day after.”
“I have tomorrow,” Anne said. Jessica’s mother and aunt had shown up for a couple of days after Sophia’s birth, then Z’s mother. But Z wasn’t the sort of man who wanted live-in help, especially doting grandmothers.
So the Shadowlands women had set up a schedule to drop by at a set time every afternoon to bring food and run errands for Jessica. Or babysit so Jessica could get out of the house.
Anne found the visits the perfect excuse to go and cuddle Sophia. And every time Anne was there, the desire to have a child grew stronger. She’d never felt the need before, but somehow, she’d…changed—there was that damn word again—and now she wanted to open her life to a child.
It was terrifying to imagine being responsible for a little person, and yet, everything in her simply…yearned. When she left Jessica’s house, her arms still felt as if they should be holding a baby. The lingering fragrance of baby powder and milk made her smile.
And babies seemed to be everywhere she looked.
But wants weren’t needs…and a child was the last thing she needed right now.