Chapter 14
fourteen
JONAH
In A Week - Hozier, Karen Cowley
The warmth of the fire burned against my skin, but it was a welcome relief compared to the chill of the loch.
“This is so good,” Kit mumbled, sitting opposite me as she took another long slurp directly from a bowl of Scotch broth, her blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail.
She’d been so brave, following me as we headed deeper into the water. I knew it was a delicate thing, that trust. From the sound of it, she’d been hurt before, and badly. It had taken a lot to get her to open up to me, and, even now, I knew some walls still remained.
I couldn’t help the feeling that there was a reason we’d both ended up here at the same time. Like we’d been exactly what each other needed.
“It’s my mother’s recipe.” Maddie smiled, scooping a second serving from the pot that rested in the middle of the dining table. Since she and Archie only lived a few streets away, they’d invited us back to theirs to shower and warm up.
Kit grinned. “She must be a chef.”
“Thanks so much for inviting us back,” I said earnestly, grabbing a thick piece of bread and dunking it into my own warming soup. “It would’ve been a long, cold drive back up to the lodge if not.”
“For your first year, you both did great!” Maddie grinned, looking towards her husband. “I remember the first year Archie took me back for Christmas. I watched from the shore. I refused to go in.”
“What changed your mind?” Kit asked.
“Archie has excellent powers of persuasion.”
“I didn’t expect it either.” Kit winked. “But I did have a certain American pulling me in.” Under the table, her leg bumped against mine. It was meant to be a casual touch. To me, with her, it was anything but.
“When are you heading back to London? I bet you must have lots of work lined up.”
“Yeah, it’s looking busy. I was supposed to head down tomorrow,” she said, her gaze falling to the table. “I’m considering staying a few more days.”
If I held any pretence of being cool, my desperate tone betrayed it all. “Really?”
“Yeah.” She met my gaze, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth. “I could stay until after New Year.”
“Nothing runs for two days after Hogmanay,” Archie added, still munching away on his soup.
I couldn’t help the stupid grin across my face, remarking, “The Scottish love a bank holiday.”
“So, the third,” she said, and my heart felt like it’d doubled in size. Her blue gaze held an affection I’d not received in a long time. Now I had it from her, I didn’t want it to stop. “That’s when I’d need to head back. I have to be at a fitting on the fifth.”
I didn’t care that she had to leave. I’d known that from the start. However, the fact that Kit could stay longer somehow changed everything. Like maybe the ending I kept bracing myself for wasn’t set in stone. We got more time. And, God, I wanted every second of it.
“Sounds good,” I managed to say casually, as if the entire world around me didn’t feel brighter.
We all fell into easy conversation, Archie telling far too many embarrassing jokes which had me questioning the months spent here.
Eventually their kids came home, three little monsters I’d been coaching in my junior class, and they dragged me into their snow-covered garden to show off the new serve they’d been working on.
From the kitchen window, I spotted Kit watching us, clutching a “perfectly made” cup of tea, as she put it.
And I couldn’t help but wonder what she wanted for her future.
If there was room for me. Wherever we both ended up, perhaps there was the option to carry on.
Long distance or in London. I wasn’t sure what that would look like; she was a model, and judging from Maddie’s freak out, much bigger than I’d expected to find in the village pub; but whatever happened, I knew for sure that I would do anything for more time with her.
I don’t think I’d ever felt this connection, this longing for somebody.
Why did she have to stumble into my life just as I was leaving?
“That was nice,” Kit said, her attention on the madly waving Maddie who was standing in her yard as if the queen had come to visit.
I shifted into second gear and continued the slow crawl through the village, rows of granite houses lining the road. The snow had turned into a slush in the slight warmth of the afternoon, but it was sure to refreeze to black ice after dusk. “Yeah, they are great company.”
“Do you hang out with them a lot?”
“I suppose I do.” I had vastly underestimated how many embarrassing stories Archie had about me. “They are friends, you know. And I coach the kids, so I see them regularly.”
“That’s fun,” she said, smiling as she adjusted the radio, skipping through stations in search of music she liked. “Do you like them? Kids.”
“Yeah, I mean, who doesn’t?” I said without thinking.
I caught a flicker across her face, a brief freeze, and panic stirred in my gut.
“I mean, I teach them a lot. And it’s…nice.
They’re fun in their own weird, kid way, you know?
I’ve always imagined having a big family someday.
It has its advantages; there’s always some drama,” I added, words tumbling out like a runaway train. “How do you feel about them?”
“They’re fine.”
I tried to keep my attention firmly on the road. I couldn’t help but look over at her, trying to read her feelings in her expression. The music from the radio station she’d chosen was nothing more than a garbled noise to my ears.
Kit looked out the window for a long moment. “It’s not that I don’t like kids. It’s just…complicated.”
I wanted to ask. Yet, I also didn’t want to push. This was just…whatever it was. A holiday fling, for her at the very least. But I couldn’t help but wonder if this had something to do with the ex.
“I used to think I’d have them,” she continued, her voice growing so quiet I had to turn the music down a notch. “I even tried, once. It didn’t work out. I’m not cut out for being a mum, I guess.”
The silence that followed wasn’t uncomfortable but heavy with meaning. My hand found hers, interlacing my fingers with hers. I didn’t ask again. She’d opened up already, and I wouldn’t dare push more.
“Wait!” she suddenly shouted. My foot slammed the brake like we were about to hit a sheep. The car jolted, stopping shy of the curb.
“What is it?” I asked, heart thudding like we were in a high-speed chase instead of…pulling up to the village shop.
“I’ll be back in a minute.” And, without any further explanation, Kit jumped out of the car, disappearing into the shop.
I took a few moments to try and calm myself.
I was getting ahead of myself. It was hard not to with her, to want more and more, to take every piece of her she would allow.
I’d never been like this, so deep from the first moment.
So obsessed with her every move, hanging on every word.
It felt hard to loosen my grip. I knew for both of our sakes, I had to.
Still, I found myself killing the engine, following her inside.
The bell above the shop door let out a half-hearted ding. The woman behind the counter glanced up, gave me the sort of once-over usually reserved for shoplifters and wayward tourists, and I offered a sheepish wave and ducked into the nearest aisle.
“Hey.” I stepped to Kit’s side, my gaze cast downwards to her basket where three bottles of wine sat. I huffed a laugh. “Is that enough to see you into the new year?”
She laughed. “Not if we’re sharing.”
“Was it a restock you needed?”
“Nope.” She reached up, plucking a box from the top shelf with a look far too smug. I followed her gaze.
Condoms.
I blinked at the box in her hand. “XXL? Kit, let’s be reasonable.”
She let out a bark of laughter, loud enough to echo off the baked bean tins. “Please,” she said, eyes dancing, “you act like I haven’t had that thing in my mouth.”
I felt like every gossiping eye in the village narrowed on us, even if we were almost alone.
Meanwhile, my brain – traitorous and loud – was already five steps ahead, spinning out possibilities, futures of her mouth on mine, her body warm against me.
I felt heat crawl up the back of my neck like a teenager.
How quickly can I get us home?
She tossed the box into the basket without missing a beat and headed towards the register, her hips swaying with reckless purpose. I jogged after her like a man possessed.
At the checkout, the older woman started scanning the bottles of wine at a glacial pace.
“Find everything you need?” she asked.
Kit smiled sweetly. “Sure did.”
Then came the condoms. The woman didn’t blink. Just plonked them into the bag between the merlot and a multipack of crisps. I swore, even my ears turned pink.
“And I see you survived Christmas,” she added, looking towards Kit.
Kit leaned in, almost conspiratorial. “Turns out he’s not a serial killer.”
The woman gave a dry hum. “I’ll let the locals know.”
And with that, we were handed our bag of well-intentioned sin and politely ushered out before we could scandalize anyone further.
Outside, Kit bumped her shoulder against mine. “See? Totally painless.”
“Speak for yourself.”
“You’ll survive.”
She was probably right. But not if we didn’t get home soon.