5. Koi #2
“Girl, don’t piss me off further. I ain’t even trying to think that far ahead.” I handed her back the blunt. “I just need some food and a drink. It’s already after two in the morning.”
“Right, and don’t you have work tomorrow?
Grab an outfit. We going to stay at my house, and I’ll make you breakfast and a mimosa.
” She shook her head. With all that was going on, my ass had forgotten all about work.
And since I had taken off yesterday and the day before, a job was the least of my worries.
If Rae could sign off on some forms for FMLA, I’d be able to mourn this breakup in peace. Smiling up in people’s faces in a tight suit and high heels was not something I really wanted to do. Isolating was the only thing that made sense.
“I gotta get my life together, this shit just went up in flames in a matter of two days.”
Work was kicking my ass. On the day when I wanted to be tucked away in my corner office, would be the day all of my peers had something they wanted to bring to my attention. Being important at work had its perks, but damn, could a sistah get a break?
“Ms. Malone, Calvin wanted you to go over some of these numbers and come back to us with a plan in motion.” I looked over my glasses like a mama who was about to chastise her child. “It’s not me, it’s him. He wants to make sure he isn’t going over budget.”
“Always. Yet he continues to have these events here without the proper staffing, so when he has to outsource and hire from other companies for the events, it puts a dent in the budget.” I set the BIC pen down on the table.
“But what do I know? I’m just the money lady,” sarcasm dripped from my voice.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s never your fault, Teddy. He’s the boss, not you.”
“I know, but-” Before he could get the rest of his sentence out, I overheard the receptionist yelling.
“Mr. White, you can’t just go back there without me calling first!” Her high pitched voice echoed throughout the office.
Teddy turned around swiftly just as I hopped up from my desk as Marcel stormed into my office.
“We need to talk, now!” All eyes were now on me. Embarrassment was an understatement. As the only Black woman in an office, I prided myself on being professional and not perceived as ghetto. Now, all the hard years I kept up my image, Marcel was fucking up in a matter of minutes.
“It’s okay, Sasha. Teddy, please excuse me.” I cut my eyes at Marcel. With not an ounce of remorse, he folded his arms over his chest, tightening his lips. “What do you want?” I tried to keep my composure, but seeing this nigga have the audacity ticked me off.
“You locked me out of the bank accountant?” His jaw tightened. “That’s the kind of shit you on?”
“I didn’t lock you out of the joint account.
I locked you out of my expenses account.
That’s for me, and I removed all of my funds from the joint account.
Whatever is left is what you’ve contributed.
” I raised my brow. “I refuse to have any legal ties to a muthafucka who I’m no longer connected to. ”
“Bitch… Koi, you are my fiancée.”
“Wrong, I was your fiancée, so from now on, yes, I’ll be that a bitch.” I walked around my desk. “Leave my office peacefully or I will have to call security so they can escort you out of here.” I rolled my eyes. “The choice is yours, Mr. White.”
“Oh, I see how you playing this.” Marcel lunged forward, taking the glass picture off my desk, throwing it at the wall.
Shattered glass, along with my yelp, was sure to draw more unwanted attention.
“Fuck you!” He pointed his finger in my direction.
I didn’t know how to react. I stood still, holding my breath until he walked out, slamming my door shut behind him.
“Are you okay?” Teddy and Sasha were both at my door in a matter of seconds. Out of all my coworkers, these two were the ones I was closest with.
“I’ll be fine. I’m going to take an early lunch. This…” I turned around, motioning to the mess in my office, “is too much to deal with before one in the afternoon.”
“I definitely understand, and if you want company, I’ll come,” Sasha spoke up.
“No. I just need time alone.”
I walked out of my office, glass still on the floor, locking the door behind me. All that had transpired in that office would have to wait until later. Right now, I need a break.
Sweetgreen restaurant across the street would have been ideal, but I didn’t want to chance running into a coworker.
News traveled like wildfire in the hotel.
By the time I got back, I expected Consuelo, the housekeeper, to know that my man had stormed in and showed his natural black ass.
Which is why I opted for the BBQ’s restaurant ten minutes away.
“Honey chile, what’s going on?” My favorite hostess was walking in with me. She probably noticed the wrinkles in my forehead or the bags under my eyes, but right about, I didn’t have time to be modest.
“What hasn’t. Just hook me up. I’m on lunch, so easy on liquor, but add it in there.” We both high fived each other.
Seated and ready for my drink, I sent a text to Rae. While I had Marli to talk to, Rae and I had connected last night, and for some reason she was who popped in my mind when I wanted a quick escape.
Koi: I know you’re working, but this is non therapy talk if that’s allowed today lol.
The three dots immediately popped up. Rae was a busy therapist, so I was thoroughly surprised to see her typing back.
Rae: I’m free, wassup, do you want to talk on the phone?
Koi: Yes. That works.
Rae was calling before I could tap on her name.
“Hey girl hey.”
“Hey. First of all, those drinks were needed last night, and I think I need some more. I am stressed, but I know I have a session with you tomorrow, so I’ll hold the tea until then.”
“Okay, that’s not a problem. Where are you? It sounds a little loud.”
“At BBQ’s,” I laughed, taking a sip from my Texas sized drink. “With the morning I had, it was needed: wings and a drink.”
“Koi, I’m going to set up a session tonight. I think you’re spiraling, and all this drinking- I get it- but what will it change? The way you look, your health, yet your man will continue to do him.” I twisted up my lip.
“I hear what you are saying, but I’m not an alcoholic, and I am not spiraling, but fine. We can have a session if you insist.”
“Good, check your email and confirm. Please do not get tipsy and then go back to work. Your job is not worth losing.” Rae was speaking the truth, but I didn’t want to hear her. Right now, my heart was aching, and while I wanted the drinks to help numb the pain, it only temporarily worked.
For the rest of the day, I worked in silence with my door closed after I cleaned up the mess. Calvin came to make sure I was okay before giving me a warning that this could not happen again. As if I wanted it to happen the first time.
I grabbed my Coach tote bag, slung it over my shoulder, slipped my feet out of my heels, kicking them under the desk, replacing them with my black Birkenstocks before leaving the office.
Twenty-six missed calls from my mother, a few from Sicily, and a ton of texts from Belinda.
I already knew the cat was out of the bag.
Belinda was the worst person to find out anything.
She would run her mouth without even knowing she was doing it.
But for the news to involve her daughter, me and my stupid ass nigga, I had hoped that she would at least give me a day to get my shit together. Wishful thinking.
She had texted me how she was sorry for her daughter and how she hoped I didn’t say fuck her and them, but that Marcel had always been an asshole, and honestly, I didn’t even agree with the last statement.
There was a time when Marcel was the nigga that all the females in my family praised. I’d be lying if I said that Marcel wasn't filling me up in a way that I had never imagined. Young, ambitious, and shy, he came in and swooped me off my feet.
The way he didn’t play about me, the vacations and gifts had everyone hoping their daughter met a young Black man like him. But as soon as he got wind of who he was and how much power brought out easy pussy, he lost sight of what we were building.
Pissed off, I sucked my teeth, tossed my phone and purse in the passenger seat of my car while slamming my door shut. Yelling out into the vehicle had me feeling like a bitch who was on her last leg.
“Yea. Rae is right, I gotta get this shit situated,” I mumbled to myself, pulled down my overhead mirror, swiped at the lone tear, and nodded. A change was about to be had, I thought.
Session 6
“So, are you going to sit there and not speak up?” Rae asked, looking from her iPad to me.
“I didn’t want to come here today. Your ass forced me here like I’m some alcoholic bitch with a stupid ass dude for a fiancée and a cousin who fucked him,” I paused, “fucked him and now there is a child. A healthy child. While I…” my voice trailed off as I thought of the day I lost our baby.
“It’s time Marcel, I swear this time.” I tapped him on his back. For the past thirty minutes I had been counting and monitoring my contractions. We had been to the hospital twice this week and it was only Wednesday.
Marcel told me that if the next run to the hospital didn’t produce a baby, he was going to leave my ass in the hospital until it was time.
It wasn’t out of disgust; it was the fact that our hospital wasn’t close to the house.
The drive alone was annoying to say the least. But what ticked him off was the way the doctors told us that it wasn’t time, and we’d have to come back.
The look of defeat shown on his face. “You better be sure this time, Koi. A nigga tired of them sending us home without a baby. His stubborn ass.” Marcel rolled over, placing his hand on my belly. “Are we ready to bring home a tiny human?”
I couldn’t hide the smile. It had been a long journey with many hiccups, but we were finally at the end of the road. “I am. He will be so perfect, I already know.”