Set My Soul Ablaze

1. Mali Flowers

“Personally, I can’t be with a man who can’t handle all the finances on his own.

I want my money to be used for recreational shit like vacations, road trips, and impromptu date nights.

I don’t mind handling the groceries, but the real bills are a hell no for me.

I’m not Yvette, and I damn sure don’t want a Jody ridin’ around in my whip cheating and scheming while I’m at work,” Kira stated with a chuckle as she swept the floor.

“I hear you, but you’re missing out,” Dominique countered.

Kira wrinkled her nose. “Missing out on what?”

“Listen, I agree with you on the cheating. I don’t want a cheater, especially with all the diseases in the world, but I don’t mind a scammer and schemer. What do the girls be saying? Where all the scamming-ass niggas at?” Dominique sang.

Kira and I burst into a fit of laughter at her shenanigans.

“No, but seriously. I want a roughneck nigga with a big dick and hustler mentality, if you will.” Dominique giggled. She wiped down the counter as I escorted the current client to the highchair to finish the service.

“Y’all are a mess,” I commented while opening the coconut oil. With firm fingers, I rubbed the large toe beans of the sixty-pound pit bull.

Otis was three years old with pretty brown eyes and a wet, pink nose.

His coat was soft, healthy, and a beautiful grayish-white color.

He was a loyal client of Floral Fur Pet Groomers.

Floral Fur Pet Groomers was my pride and joy.

I’d spent my whole life loving animals, big and small.

When I graduated college, my grandfather gifted me the business and enough money to keep the dream afloat until I gained loyal customers to keep the cash flow coming.

As the only grandchild, they spoiled me rotten.

“What’s your stance on the matter?” Kira questioned as she placed the broom against the wall and sat on the stool across from me.

“Nope. I’m not getting involved with y’all debate.” My head shook wildly as I rubbed Otis on the head while he wagged his tail happily.

“Aww, c’mon, Mali. You’ve been in a relationship longer than all of us. What works for y’all?” Dominique urged.

“Look, what works for me would make the next woman cover her mouth in disgust,” I admitted.

Truthfully, the things I accepted in my relationship were embarrassing.

Although Juda and I were approaching ten years together, I wasn’t sure I saw a future with him.

At nineteen, I was just happy to have a man on my arm.

At twenty-eight, I was numb to love and went with the motions.

My situation was nothing to brag about. I’d be damned if I opened myself up for the scrutiny and judgment of my employees, of all people.

I was a cool boss, but definitely not that cool.

The doors to the building opened, and Eric, Otis’s father, walked in with a smile. He was an older gentleman. I think he was in his early forties. The dog was a gift from his wife who passed last year.

“Woof! Woof!” Otis wagged his tail and jumped on his front paws as Eric approached him.

“I hope my big guy didn’t give you a hard time,” Eric stated as he closed the distance between them and rubbed his dog’s head softly.

“Not at all. Otis is such a good boy. He didn’t fuss or fight. He loves being pampered,” I replied with a smile.

“He’s spoiled. Do you know he’ll only eat his food if I put it in the microwave for a few seconds? My wife spoiled him rotten.”

“He’s a true prince,” I added.

“Thank you again, Mali. You always go above and beyond for Otis. I appreciate you.”

“It’s no problem at all, Eric. I’ll see him back again next month.”

“Probably sooner. We’re going on vacation next week. He’ll need another grooming session when we get back.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be on the lookout for your appointment in the database.”

“Great. Y’all have a wonderful afternoon.” Eric waved goodbye as he grabbed Otis’s leash.

“Goodbye, Eric. Goodbye, Otis,” Kira, Dominique, and I said in unison.

Once he and Otis exited, Dominique fanned herself. “That is one fine-ass man. My gawd!”

“Dominique, please. That man is at least twice your age.” I shook my head and went to clean my work area in the back. Otis was my last client of the day.

“Age ain’t nothing but a number, baby. I’m a grown, consenting adult.” Dominique shrugged as she followed me to the back to help clean.

Kira stayed in the front room to straighten up and shut down the office computers, TVs, and wax burners.

One thing I prided myself on about my business was how much effort I put into making sure every area was comfortable, clean, and smelled good.

I loved animals, but the smells they emitted could clear out a room, so I kept seasonal scents burning throughout the shop.

It took us about thirty minutes after closing to clean and lock up. We walked out together to the parking lot. The sun was still high in the sky and shining brightly. It was something about the Texas heat that made my skin flourish.

“Who is on schedule tomorrow? I forgot to check before I left,” Dominique asked as she pulled her keys out of her designer purse.

“Clareese, Diego, and Alisa. Alisa is opening and Diego is closing,” I replied.

“Are you coming in?” Kira asked.

I shook my head. “I don’t plan on it. None of my regulars booked appointments for the next couple of days, actually, so I plan to sleep in and rest my body. Back-to-back large dogs have my back in need of a good massage.”

“Definitely treat yourself, Boss. You’ve been in the shop every day this week. You had several VIPs. You deserve the rest.” Kira bumped her hip against mine.

“Thank you, boo,” I replied.

“Y’all be safe. I’m trying to beat the traffic,” Dominique added.

“Same. Be safe, ladies.” I grabbed my keys and climbed into my three-row SUV. The black-on-black design was my favorite because I bought it with my first big check. I plugged my phone in, tapped my car playlist, and headed home.

As I pulled into the garage, I noticed Juda’s truck parked on the street. The annoyingly high lifted pickup truck was unmistakable and an eyesore in the cul-de-sac I lived in. I turned off my engine and sat in silence as the garage door closed.

With Juda being home, I had to prepare myself mentally and physically for whatever mood he would be in when I opened the door.

Juda was the type of man to get mad at a gust of wind if it blew too hard his way.

He was easily irritable and had only gotten worse the last few months, to the point I didn’t kiss him or let him touch me intimately.

A moody man made my pussy dry and shrivel up like a snail sprinkled with salt.

There were a lot of signs I ignored for the sake of preserving my relationship.

The dread I felt coming home to Juda was the first red flag I ignored daily.

After a long day, my home should be my safe space, but it was a battlefield.

With a deep breath, I grabbed my purse and phone and made my way through the garage.

I set my purse and keys on the kitchen island and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

My life was on a permanent autopilot. Every day, my movements were the same:

come home

grab a drink

rummage through the refrigerator and pantry for something to make a quick meal—although recently, takeout had been my go-to 80% of the time

sit on the couch

listen to Juda bitch and complain about something

shower

doomscroll

fall asleep

repeat

With a sway of my hip, I bumped the refrigerator door closed and headed into the living room, where I heard the low hum of the TV.

“Ju, I’m going to order a combo from the burger spot. Do you want something?” I asked as I scrolled to my food delivery app on my phone. When I didn’t get a reply, I lifted my gaze to my boyfriend.

Stoic, pursed lips.

Dark, angry brown eyes.

Familiar, yet unrecognizable.

I inhaled sharply. The irritation spread through my fingers, across my chest, and behind my eyes. “Juda?”

“Who is he?”

“Huh?”

“Who. Is. He?” The anger laced his voice. The sound pierced my ears, making me pause.

“Who is who?” My eyebrows knitted together.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Mali.” His jaw clenched.

I released a breath. “I don’t have the energy to play this game with you tonight.”

“Oh? You think you’re too good for me? You think you deserve better than me?” He stood up and chuckled.

“Juda, you need help. I haven’t spoken to you all day, and instead of greeting me with love, you’re playing this stupid-ass game. Either say what’s on your mind or leave me the fuck alone.” I opened my water bottle and gulped down all its contents before crushing the plastic between my hands.

“You ain’t get home until six forty-three. You’re usually home no later than six-thirty. Who the fuck is the nigga who had your attention, huh? I know you’re cheating on me, Mali. I’m not fuckin’ stupid.”

“What?” I tossed my head back as a laugh erupted from deep in my belly. This wasn’t the first time he’d accused me of cheating, but this was the first time he’d used such a ludicrous reason.

Thirteen minutes.

The man spiraled out of control because of thirteen minutes.

He took a step closer to me. I could smell the liquor on his breath.

Of course.

“So my broken heart is funny to you, bitch?”

My laugh stopped abruptly. The amused smile turned into an offended scowl. “You’ve got me fucked up if you think I’m going to let you call me out of my name in the house I pay all the fuckin’ bills in. Get the fuck out right now before I call the police on your drunk, delusional ass.”

“Excuse me?”

“No. You’re not excused. You heard what the fuck I said. Get the fuck out right now.”

“Where am I supposed to go?” he asked as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“To hell. To jail. To a psych ward. I don’t know, and I honestly don’t give a fuck. We’re done.”

He blinked in surprise. “What do you mean, done?”

“I’m breaking up with you. I can’t live another day in the hell you’ve created.

We were once so in love, but I don’t know when the last time I felt anything other than disgust and resentment when I look at you.

Get out of my life . . . forever.” My voice was even and firm.

Every word I spoke to Juda came from deep in my soul.

I was exhausted.

I had no more to give him.

I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

“You don’t mean that, baby.” Juda took a step closer to me with outstretched arms.

I swatted him away. “Yes, the fuck, I mean that shit. With all my fuckin’ heart.”

“Wait. Mali, I’m sorry for calling you out your name. We can work through you cheating on me—”

“I didn’t fuckin’ cheat on your stupid ass, Juda. But fuck! I wish I did. I wish I’d left you years ago to avoid this moment right here. For nine and a half years, I was nothing but faithful to you, and you still accused me over a dozen times of cheating. Maybe you’re projecting.”

He scoffed. “Projecting what?”

“Your wrongdoings. Your disloyalty.”

“I’ve been nothing but faithful. I was going to marry you when I got my shit together.” He licked his lips and tried to smile at me.

“Right. Now you can tell that lie to the next dumb bitch who lets you weasel into their life. Nine and a half years, and you’re still the same immature man I fell in love with as a teenager. Get out and grow up!”

“You don’t mean that.” He reached for me again.

“Juda . . . Get out . . .” The tightness in my face was enough to deter him from begging anymore.

Juda’s face hardened. “You’re boring. You do nothing exciting. No other man is going to want you.”

“That’s fine. And if you think any sane woman is going to want your drunk, moody ass, you’re going to be in for a rude awakening.

“Mali, if I can’t have you, no one can.”

“Your threats don’t scare me. You wouldn’t even buss a grape if your life was on the line.” I taunted.

He chuckled. “I’ll be back to get my stuff.”

“Don’t bother. I’m going to have all yo’ shit packed up and waiting outside for you in the morning.”

He didn’t say another word. He grabbed his phone and wallet off the coffee table and stormed out.

“Good riddance,” I said before twisting all the locks and heading upstairs to shower.

There was no sadness in my heart. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders as I climbed into the tub to wash away my day and all remnants of Juda.