11. Mali
A couple of days later
I stared into the void as thoughts of Flame’s kiss consumed me.
It was a mindless kiss that has haunted me for the last three days.
It was short, but powerful. It was all I could think about.
He’d wrapped a hand on the small of my back and leaned in before I could say anything.
I wasn’t sure what it meant for our situation, but I was excited to see where it could take us.
Knock. Knock.
A light tap brought me out of my thoughts of Flame’s lips.
“Come in,” I called out.
“Hey, boss lady. You alright?” Dominique asked.
“Yeah. I’m good. What’s up?”
“You have a delivery at the front you need to sign for. They won’t let me.”
I huffed. “Okay. Here I come.”
Dominique left my door open as she turned and headed back to the front of the shop. I took a deep breath and stood. I walked down the hallway and saw Flame in all his tall, deep brown glory.
“Flame!”
“You mind if I steal you for a few minutes?” he asked when his eyes met mine.
“Sure.” I turned my gaze to Dominique. “We’ll talk about you lying to me later.”
She laughed. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll be here when you return.”
Flame reached for my hand as we walked outside the front entrance of the shop. We walked over to his SUV, and he opened the trunk.
“I wanted to surprise you with your favorite flowers. I got a bouquet of peonies, orchids, and primrose flowers. I remember us talking about how much you love a theme for gifts, so I made sure it was all color coded. The pink and white flowers coupled with a sparkling wine and your favorite caramel stuffed chocolates.”
Tears pooled in my eyes. “Flame . . . this is . . . I don’t even know what to say other than thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I could tell by the way he kept fidgeting he wanted to say more, so I put the gifts back in the trunk and held his hand. “What’s on your mind?”
“You know me so well. I want you to know I’ve never felt this strongly about a woman, ever.
I know you’re not looking for a relationship right now, and that’s cool.
I don’t mind waiting for you because I know you’re my person.
I don’t want to rush it, and I’ll wait as long as you need me to for you to agree to try things out with me. ”
“Aww, Flame.” I rubbed my fingers along the curves of his knuckles.
“I like you a lot, Mali.”
“I like you too. I actually would like to try things with you. All I ask is that you just be patient with me while I navigate these strong new feelings.”
“You know I’m a patient man.”
“You really are the best.”
“Now, do you want me to ask you to be my girl now or later?”
“Now.”
He held both of my hands in his and gazed deep into my orbs. “Mali Flowers, would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?”
“Yes.”
His large hands cupped my face as he leaned down. My eyes closed instinctively as our lips met. This kiss wasn’t an accident. This kiss confirmed what we already knew: Our connection ran deeper than surface level. Our connection was soul deep.
“I’ve got to work the next two days, but this weekend, I want to take you out on an official date as your man. Will that work for you?”
“Yes.”
“Perfect. I’ma let you get back to work, but first . . .”
He lifted me up into the air like I weighed nothing and stood against his vehicle while my legs instinctively wrapped around him.
He connected our lips again. He kissed me like my tongue was his source of life, like nothing and no one mattered in the moment but us.
The way his hands felt against my body made me crave him more—in a capacity where neither of us had on any clothes.
“Mmm.” A moan slipped from my lips, which made us both pull back.
“Yeah, let me chill.”
“Or what?” I asked as I ran my manicured nails along the length of his neck.
“Mali.” His eyes closed. His grip on my waist tightened.
“Hmm?” I scratched his scalp as I leaned close to his ear.
“Don’t tease me.”
“I’m not trying to,” I sang into his ear, letting my lips graze his earlobe playfully.
“You keep poking the bear if you want to.” His warning made me giggle.
“I’m going to chill. I wouldn’t want our first time to be in the parking lot of my shop. Imagine my clients seeing me bent like a pretzel, taking dick. That would be crazy as hell for ratings and reviews.”
Flame let a deep laugh escape his lips as he set me back on the ground. We shared a glance before he pecked my lips again.
“I’m not going to be able to keep my lips off of you, but you can always tell me if I need to chill out.”
“Will do, but I enjoy the feel of your lips on mine.”
“Good. I know you got to get back to work, so I’ll head out. Text me.”
“Okay. Thank you for the surprise. I’m really grateful.”
“This is just the beginning, my love.”
He put my gifts in the back seat of my car before he walked me back inside and gave me a parting kiss. When he left the shop, Dominique, Kira, and Clareese squealed like schoolgirls.
“Grow up,” I mumbled as they approached me.
“Nah, nah. We’ve seen this new man more times in the last couple months than we ever saw Juda in the time we’ve worked here,” Kira commented.
“It’s so nice to see you being loved out loud. You deserve it,” Dominique added.
“As long as he treats you good and don’t have you out here in these streets looking dumb, he’s alright in my book.” Clareese finished.
“See, y’all too comfortable. Y’all know I’m y’all boss and not one of your little friends, right?”
“Oop. Let me get back to work.” Dominique pulled a nonexistent piece of hair behind her ear and began to walk away.
Clareese nodded and followed her movements. Kira, on the other hand, shook her head.
“Not y’all scared of Mali. I’ve been here since the beginning; we not friends, we family. We just are happy to see you loved out loud and want to celebrate it. If we overstepped, I’ll take full responsibility, though.”
“I was mostly joking. I don’t really care. It makes me feel good to be able to share my new love with the world.”
Lord, don’t let this backfire on me.
A few weeks later
The workday had gone by in a breeze. I decided to stay late and make some seasonal changes to the shop. I printed out new pictures to replace the current selection in the display frames. Otis was one of the most photogenic clients we had. I made sure his big smile was on full display.
After all the frames were adjusted, I cleaned out the wax burners and opted into a new scent, warm leather. Once all the wax burners were changed, I rearranged the waiting area furniture.
Boom! Boom! Boom!
My head snapped toward the front door. The sun had begun to set, so my nerves were heightened as I looked through the glass door to see Juda waiting on the other side.
“No.”
I turned to walk away, but he banged his fist against the door again. “Mali! Please let me talk to you.”
Why the fuck do exes pop up when you’ve finally moved on? It was like those niggas had a sixth sense for ruining their ex-girlfriend’s happiness.
Part of me wanted to ignore him. Leave him in the past where he deserved to be. The other part of me, the delusional part, wanted to hear him out. See where he was coming from, see why he treated me the way he did, and close the chapter of my life with him completely.
With a sigh, I did a spin on my heels and walked to the door. I twisted the lock and let him walk in.
“The place looks great,” he commented as I gestured to the waiting area furniture.
“Have a seat.”
He sat. I remained standing as he began his monologue.
“I appreciate you taking the time to speak with me. I’ve been a mess since we broke up. I miss you so much, Mali.” His voice cracked as tears slid from his eyes.
I had never seen him cry in the nine and a half years we were together, so it caught me off guard.
“Yeah . . .” I awkwardly rubbed my arm as I looked at him.
“I want to fix what we had—”
“That will not happen.”
“Please? I’ve grown in the couple of months we’ve been apart. I want you to know I’ve done a lot to get myself together. I have a part-time job at a HVAC company. I don’t do the install and stuff, but I’m going to school to get the education and licenses needed to do it.”
“Good for you.”
I didn’t want to sound bitter and ask why it took him nine years to lock in and make more out of himself, but I bit my tongue. I wanted him out of my face as quickly as possible.
“I’ve done a lot of wrong, Mali. I projected a lot of my wrongdoings onto you, and for that, . . . I am genuinely sorry.”
“I knew it. I fuckin’ knew it, and you used to gaslight the fuck out of me.” I shook my head.
“I’m sorry. You were right. I cheated and contracted syphilis that has spread to my brain and caused me to act out of character during the last couple of months of our relationship.”
My stomach churned. Bile slid up my throat and threatened to come out of my mouth, but I swallowed hard. “W-what?”
I looked at him in disgust. I almost felt bad for him. Almost.
“Look, you had stopped touching me as frequently as I wanted you to. It started with a couple of random flings here and there . . . but then I was going out multiple times a week. There were multiple women a night, for a long time. I don’t even know which one I got the disease from.
All I know is that the shit has done irreparable damage to my brain.
I’m finally on a consistent cycle with my meds. ”
The more he talked, the angrier I became. Each word reminded me of the months he spent making my home hell because he cheated.
“Be honest. It hasn’t just been the last couple of months. You’ve been accusing me for years. Stand on that shit and tell me the truth.” I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at him like he’d just shit out of his mouth.
“Those don’t count. I’d cheat maybe once or twice in the span of a few months—usually when you catch an attitude and give me the cold shoulder. I’m a man with needs.”
“Why not fuckin’ leave? Why cheat on me for years—literal fuckin’ years—instead of being single and fucking whoever?”
“We put in a lot of time together, and you had a place of your own and a growing business. It would have been stupid of me to let that go for some quick fucks. I wanted forever with you.”
“You can’t be serious right now. You’re joking. You have to be joking.”
“I saw the potential of you when you were just nineteen years old. You had a strong mind, a family who cares, and the drive to pursue a career and make money. I would have been an idiot not to jump on that.”
I chuckled. He preyed on me as a teenager. He plotted on my family and me. Then had the nerve to cheat on me throughout our whole relationship. Nine years of my life stolen by a leech. Nine years of my life snatched from me and wasted.
“I hope you die a slow and painful death. I hope that disease eats you up so bad you can’t even wipe your ass by yourself. Every wrongdoing you’ve ever done will come back tenfold on you. You are a sorry, useless piece of shit, and everything you do will fail.”
Not only did he put me and my health at risk for years, but he also didn’t show any remorse. These fake ass tears were all a show. There was no real apology in his tone or his actions.
Then the bitch-ass nigga has the nerve to think he could ever have another chance with me. Bitch, please.
“Get out of my shop, now.”
“But Mali—”
“NOW!” The scream rattled the walls and my throat. Juda knew not to test me anymore. He stood up and walked toward the door.
“You should probably get tested. Who knows, I might have left a parting gift.” He winked at me and left the store.
I felt sick to my stomach. I ran to the bathroom and emptied the contents of my stomach. Just when I thought everything was getting better, my past came back to haunt me.
“I might have left a parting gift.”
My life was a joke to him. I had to go get tested for STDs because the man I spent nine years with was unfaithful that whole time. Syphilis wasn’t a fucking joke either. It did irreparable damage.
Was my life over?
I couldn’t face Flame until I had answers.
As I threw up, the tears poured down my face. The happy relationship I was starting to build with Flame would be over before it ever fucking began for real.
Fuck my life.