30. Present Day – January
30
PRESENT DAY – JANUARY
SCOTT
I ’d been worried but, despite the blip at New Year, hiring Jamie has turned out well so far. He only wanted a shift or two a week, and I only need help when it’s busy — there are still several evenings a week when the pub is painfully quiet.
I study him serving a couple who seem to be more into each other than they are his attempts at margaritas.
‘Don’t take it personally,’ I say as they ignore his meticulously crafted cocktails, leaving them standing on the bar as they whisper in each other’s ears and giggle.
‘They have better things to be doing, obviously.’ He raises his eyebrows and then mouths, ‘ honestly .’
I chuckle. It feels comfortable chatting with him, almost like he’s my little brother. Which I guess he kind of was — until I bailed on him. I’m pleased I’m getting to know him now, though. That we’re forging a new kind of relationship. But I still feel guilty every day that I wasn’t there for him.
‘So,’ I cross my arms over my chest, ‘you got a special someone in your life?’
His gaze flicks back to the couple. ‘One who distracts me to the point I forget my drink? No, not particularly.’
‘Playing the field?’
‘Not really.’ He looks cagey and I don’t push it. Maybe I’m not that brotherly yet.
‘You?’ He asks after a beat.
‘I wish there was.’ I cough and suddenly wish I hadn’t started on this tack of questioning. Yeah, I fell pretty hard for your sister until I realised who she was will probably not go down too well.
About half an hour before closing, I clean the bar where Josie usually sits and pour her a soda and passionfruit juice. But when she arrives, bouncing in with her usual glow, I have to make my excuses to go and check the lines in the cellar. They’re not due a clean but I couldn’t think of another reason to leave suddenly.
Her tight blue sweater makes her tits look enormous and I don’t think I can hold a rational conversation with her. Much better that I flush out old beer than harbour inappropriate thoughts on someone who is the equivalent of my little sister.
My phone buzzes with a message.
Will
Play party. January 14th. You in?
My stomach flips as I’m assaulted with memories from the last one. Memories of Josie that I’ve forbidden myself to indulge in. Well … in daylight hours at least.
Scott
Event at The Bull that night. Can supply your usual though.
Will
Ashley wants to know if you had fun last time?
Scott
I did. Did as she ordered and everything. She can’t say I didn’t try.
Will
No rematch?
Scott
Fun’s over now.
Snapshots from the party flash into my head like flicking through a stack of Polaroids. The opulent displays. Josie as an angel. The sounds of moans and giggles in the air. The scent of her flaming red, coconutty hair.
I’m relieved I’ve got a good excuse not to participate this time. Would Will understand that I don’t want to participate ever again?
Another thought hurtles through me, crushing my lungs. Will Josie get an invitation to go back, too?
A flashback to tasting her in Will’s gallery rocks through me. Finally letting myself go; have a little fun, Ashley had said. Fuck.
She’s still got that photo, whatever that means, I spied it stuck on her fridge at New Year. And her thong is safely in my own underwear drawer.
The burn of passion, lust, and regret, lances through me.
That fucking gallery.
And as for all the erotica hung on the walls — even the famous one Will keeps secret — it’s not a patch on Josie’s artwork.
I tap my phone screen, navigating to the internet browser and quickly send Will a link.
Scott
Thought you and Ash might be interested in this.
Back in the bar, Josie seems to be doodling in a notebook, her pink tongue poking out through her teeth. I stop myself from launching in her direction to see more of her artwork and instead, slowly work my way over, wiping the bar down as I go.
A stunning sketch of birds in flight spills across the page. I’m about to ask her about it, but Jamie comes over.
‘Hey, sis. Thought you’d be later tonight.’ Jamie braces one arm on the bar, propping himself up.
‘No, I said I’d be here.’ She rolls her eyes at him, but doesn’t look up, carrying on adding detail to the picture.
He lowers his voice, concern flicking across his face. ‘Your date stand you up?’
Her pencil stills on the page, but she still doesn’t look up. I give the surface I’m cleaning the most thorough, meticulous clean it has ever had while I strain to listen in.
‘ No …’
‘ But …’ Jamie mocks in the same tone.
‘He was nice and everything but …’ She pauses and I swear I’m going to be able to see my face in the polish by the time I’m finished. I risk another glance at her. She’s screwing her nose up at Jamie. ‘Bit boring,’ she eventually admits. ‘I think I’ll give the app a rest for a bit.’
Jamie fidgets, looking like he’s trying not to seem happy about this news. I chew on my own cheeks, too; I’d better not look too pleased either.