Chapter 19
“You’re drifting.” Soft fingers caressed his cheek, dragging him from the questions swirling in his mind. She lay tucked against him, her head pillowed on his shoulder and her face turned up to his.
Christ, she was gorgeous .
His heart hammered as he stared into her mesmerizing eyes. He felt himself stir again and groaned inwardly.
They’d eventually left the tub when he could risk carrying her out without fearing his legs would turn to jelly. They slept for a couple of hours before the hunger that didn’t show signs of abating had him reaching for her again.
He guessed they’d fucked on and off for the last six hours before trudging downstairs just after midnight to demolish the rest of the food. She’d joined him when he opted for beer instead of champagne, her cute nose wrinkling at the taste before she soldiered on like a champ to finish the bottle.
For her brave foray into beer country, he bent her over the slab of concrete that passed for a coffee table and took her from behind, after which they’d collapsed on the rug in front of the roaring fire and fallen asleep.
Now his senses sang with an alien sense of peace, and when her fingers drifted along his jaw and down his neck, he suppressed a smile.
She loved his stubble. He’d found out how much she liked it when he encouraged her to sit on his face.
He was willing to bet she’d come twice as fast because of the friction of his rough beard on her inner thighs as much as from his mouth on her sweet pussy.
“That look in your eyes scares me.”
He laughed, then sobered when he saw her expression.
It was a mixture of wonder and puzzlement.
He recognized it because it was the same sensation he’d experienced since he saw her in the Ozone Bar twenty-four hours ago.
He stroked the side of her head and relished in her sigh of pleasure.
“I have no answer for this level of intensity, sweetheart.”
“But you don’t think this… what’s happening between us is crazy?”
He rolled her onto her back, and she parted her thighs and welcomed him.
“Since crazy runs in my family, I can’t plead innocence.
My father met my mother on a Thursday. He asked her to marry him on Saturday.
They’ve been together for thirty-five years.
Theirs is a rare form of crazy. I accept that.
But I guess I’m proof that crazy happens.
The Indigo Lounge is geared to heighten our senses.
We’re bound to let other inhibitions down besides sex.
You can hold back if you want to. But once you let it out, I won’t let you take it back. ”
“But what if being with you makes me let out things I normally wouldn’t?”
He kissed her parted mouth and lingered far longer than was wise. “Then I’m honored to trigger such feelings within you.”
She rolled her eyes. “Could you sound any more smug?”
“What can I say, sweetheart? I have a special touch.”
She snorted. “God help me.”
He laughed and kissed her again. “The car service will be here in a few hours. Do you want to try and get some sleep?”
She shook her head. “I’m not sleepy.” Her foot rubbed on the back of his thigh and he shuddered.
“Sweetheart, I know I said I’m greedy, but if we keep going like this, you’ll be out of commission soon.”
“I told you, I’m stronger than I look. But I’ll let you recuperate if you’re feeling worn out?” she said cheekily.
He snorted and adjusted his hips so the blatant evidence of his readiness was in no doubt. “I won’t rise to the challenge. Much as I want to. I want the pleasure-pain in perfect balance when we fuck.”
She made a pouty face but wrapped her arms around his neck. “What shall we do then?”
He slid his hands beneath her shoulders and cradled the base of her neck, awed by the fragile bones of her scalp. She was strong in some ways, yet so easily breakable in others. Someone had taken advantage of that fragility.
Broken her…
Red-hot fury rolled through him. It took several beats before he could speak. When he did, his voice emerged strained. “You said you couldn’t get pregnant. You want to tell me why?”
He would’ve been blind to miss the wave of harrowing pain that darkened her eyes before she took control of it. When a small shiver wracked her frame, he leaned down and kissed her. Her eyes were less haunted when he lifted his head.
“I spent time in the hospital when I was seventeen… I was hurt. The doctors couldn’t fix me completely. The specialist I saw afterward confirmed it would take a miracle to get me pregnant.”
Noah sensed there was a lot she was leaving out, but he decided not to push. The past twenty-four hours had been intense in ways he never saw coming. Hell, he’d cracked open a can of worms he never dreamed he would touch without full body armor.
“Hell, I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
Her eyes shimmered bright for a few seconds before she shrugged. Swallowing, she speared her fingers into his hair in a rough caress that tore at his heart.
“I haven’t given up hope completely. In my darkest moments, I choose to believe miracles still can happen.”
He didn’t answer because he had no evidence to prove her theory. There had been a time long ago when he foolishly believed he could replicate what his parents had. He’d believed he’d found his soulmate. Having that belief turned to ash had hammered home the rarity of his parents’ relationship.
“My turn.”
He refocused on her. “Shoot.”
“ Vocalize . Why?”
He pressed his lips together and told himself he only needed to tell her what he was comfortable with, as per their agreement. “I need to know what you’re thinking. That’s all.”
“No. That’s not all,” she countered.
He didn’t realize how tightly his jaw was clenched until her fingers touched his face. He forced himself to relax. “My ex?—”
Her fingers clenched in his hair. “Use her name, Noah.”
Surprise arrowed through him. “Why?”
“I don’t know why, but every time you say ex , I get a little dart of jealousy that makes me want to claw at something.”
The unexpectedly blunt admission stunned a laugh out of him. “What?”
“Oh, come on! You’ve never had a woman express visceral, possessive jealousy before?”
“No one that mattered enough for it to count.”
Another admission that shut them both up for a full minute. He cleared his throat and she swallowed, her eyes square on his as she sucked in a deep breath.
“Okay, well… since I have a claim of ownership over you for the next six days, you’ll do as I say.”
He speared his hands into her hair and gripped it tight. “As long as the ownership goes both ways, I don’t have a problem with that.”
She raised her head and he gave in to what they both wanted. When the kiss threatened to get out of hand, he raised his head.
“So, you were saying?” she asked, her voice so huskily sexy he wondered why he was continuing to fight the inevitable. Why he wasn’t tugging on another condom and fucking them both senseless.
“Ashley thrived on innuendo and assumptions. I made the mistake of thinking I knew her inside out. Especially what she was thinking. When it suited her, she made me think my assumptions were right. It took me a while to realize she got off on fucking with my mind. She was the original gaslighting queen.”
Leia frowned. “But you did realize and you don’t strike me as a guy who would leave something like that unresolved.”
His smile at the veiled question felt tight and uncomfortable.
“I told you she had a certain… power over me. We connected on a level I thought I’d never connect with anyone.
” Ashley hadn’t initially recoiled from the fact that he preferred an edgier, pain-rimmed side of sex, that his need for total control was strong enough to make most women run a mile.
Even after he’d suspected her acquiescence was a careful act, she’d denied it, kept him dangling on her hook with lies and half-truths.
“She made it so I didn’t see anything but what she wanted me to see.
” And when he’d snapped, when he’d finally uncovered her true colors, he’d nearly done the unthinkable.
The memory threatened to turn his stomach.
Leia cupped his face. His breath shuddered out at the keen, perceptive look in her eyes. She didn’t have to vocalize her feelings for him to know she knew exactly what he was talking about.
“Sad but true fact that those closest to us have the greatest power to hurt us.”
His laughter scraped out, scalding and bitter. “Unless you cut them off.”
He watched the shadows flit through her eyes. “It’s not always that easy. Especially when they leave scars behind.” Before he could ask her to elaborate, she continued. “You don’t need to worry that I will be anything but unequivocal with you.”
His blood began to thrum in his veins. “Yeah?”
“Yes.”
“Vocalize. Tell me what you want.” He leaned down and brushed his lips over hers.
“I want you to f… fuck me,” she whispered.
He shook his head, slipping his hand down her silky, firm body. “Sorry, sweetheart. I can’t hear you. Speak up.”
“Fuck me.”
“Fuck me, what?” He slid his hand between her legs, felt her wet, slick heat and unleashed the need pounding through him.
“Fuck me, please, Noah. Please.”
“There it is. You’re drenching me. But I want more. I want you to flood me.”
“Please.” Her nails scoured groves in his back as he readied himself and positioned his aching cock at her entrance. “ Please, please, please .”
“God, Leia, you make insanity look like pure heaven.”