Chapter 32
From a broken acorn…
Noah wanted to ask her to repeat what she’d said. But words like those couldn’t be mistaken. And even if he wanted to believe he’d overheard, the look in her eyes told him he hadn’t.
Several puzzles fell into place. Seventeen. The age her life had imploded. The age her mother had taken her life.
“Leia, did your mother see what he did?” He could barely speak past the fury and the harrowing sorrow he felt on her behalf.
Her grey eyes were almost black with painful shadows and unshed tears.
She nodded. “She came into the pool house with my father’s gun.
He kept it in his safe. That’s where they found the monitors, so I’m guessing she saw what he was doing and grabbed the gun.
She was so calm, Noah. So steady. She told me she was sorry for failing me.
She shot him. Then turned the gun on herself.
I tried to get to her. God, I tried so hard but…
he was on top of me. By the time I freed myself it was too late… ”
Wrenching tears ripped from her throat and poured down her face.
His heart broke wide open with each sound.
He tugged her to his chest and closed his eyes.
“Baby, it wasn’t your fault. He was the sick one.
The creep spied on you and got off on it.
He was the fucking adult. There’s nowhere in this universe where that can be turned back on you. ”
She shook her head, despair in each movement. “It wasn’t just that. The coroner found signs of abuse all over my mom’s body.” She shuddered. “I’d left her alone in the house with that monster when deep down I knew what he was capable of.”
“Dammit, it wasn’t your fault. Think of what else he could’ve done to you if you’d remained in the house?—”
“When we met, I called you a tease. I know what it is to be one.”
“No, you weren’t. I was playing hot and cold. I wanted you beyond reason, beyond sanity, and I was scared of what I’d do to you if you gave in to me.”
“My last therapist told me I won’t find closure until I accept my part in what happened.”
His teeth gritted hard enough to make his jaw ache. He captured her chin and kissed her hard, branding her with his tongue, his mouth, adoring her with his touch in the hope that he could wash away a little bit of the bastard’s stink off her psyche.
He closed his eyes when she finally relaxed and melted into him. He slid his hand up and down her arm.
“Fuck the shrinks. Not all of them know what the hell they’re talking about. Trust me, I know.”
“Warren agrees,” she whispered. “He thinks owning the guilt will make me stronger.”
An irrational wave of anger swept over him. “Bullshit.”
Noah had looked up the other guy this afternoon while he’d been holed up in the hotel across the street, wondering if he’d lost his mind for agreeing to the whole masquerade ball and separate hotels crap.
On the surface, Snyder’s success and standing were impressive enough. He had other business interests besides Leia’s company that Noah had dealt with in the past. But something about the guy, who was more than twenty years older than Leia, made him uneasy.
He’d seemed too perfect, too put together to the point of being icily aloof. But there was something else in the guy’s eyes that made his gut clench. He’d have been the last person he pictured his passionate and generous Leia leaning on.
“Listen to me. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to feel guilty about. You’d already lost so much.
The bastard not only replaced your dad, he also took your mother away.
You would’ve been a saint not to act out in some way.
That’s no excuse for him to do what he did.
And I’ll castrate anyone who dares to tell you otherwise. Do you hear me?”
She gave a half nod and Noah knew he’d have to work harder to convince her. She’d gone far too long with her trauma of being violated and guilt ingrained in her. He kissed her, willing her chill away. She leaned into him and his heart soared.
Rising, he walked them into the bedroom and crossed over to the bathroom. He undressed her first, then himself. Keeping one arm around her, he ran a bath. Her head remained on his shoulder the whole time, until he lifted her into the heated water and slid in behind her.
When he went to settle her against him, she turned sideways. Her eyes were slightly red and her cheeks were flushed. The water lapped her breasts and the white ropes twined in her golden hair. He’d never seen anything more beautiful in his life.
“You’re breathtaking, my darling. Inside and out. I intend to repeat that until you believe it.”
She bit her lip, and he stopped himself from roaring the words until she drowned in them.
“What?” he asked instead.
“I’ve kept a very low profile for a long time, since it happened. Warren’s house is big enough?—”
“Wait, you live with Warren?” Every last atom in his body froze.
She nodded warily. “He was appointed my guardian, remember?”
“That was when you were seventeen.” He tried to keep his voice even, but it vibrated with the dangerous energy lashing through him.
“I saw no reason to alter the arrangement. Like I said, his place is more than big enough for the two of us.”
Noah didn’t even think twice about making plans to change that. Curbing the need to stamp his possession over her one more time, he picked up a sponge and rubbed it over her shoulders. “So you kept a low profile…”
“Yes, but there were cops, and lawyers, and media when it happened. Every now and then someone tries to revive the story. I just want to warn you?—”
He tilted her chin. “You’re worried about me?”
“You need to know that it will most probably rear its head.”
He thought of the carnage he’d left behind in New York. Something he’d have to tell her when she wasn’t so traumatized from rehashing the past. “Sweetheart, I’ve lived through worse. You have no reason to worry about me.” Leaning forward, he kissed her. “But I’m glad you are.”
Her mouth opened beneath his, and he deepened the kiss. When she groaned, he dropped the sponge and cupped her breasts. Short flicks of his thumb across her hard peaks earned him a beautiful gasp.
She turned fully and straddled him. Fire lashed through his veins. He slid his hand lower between her legs and found her wet and hot.
Noah sent up a prayer of thanks that what had happened to her hadn’t dimmed her sexuality one little bit. It had, understandably, warped her ability to trust, and his jaw clenched as he wished her violator were alive so he could slowly squeeze the life out of him.
She arched into his touch, fucking the fingers he inserted into her.
“God, you’re so soft. So generous with your body.” And the fact that she loved what he did to her… That just blew his mind.
His cock grew hard against her ass. She felt it and whimpered.
“I need you, Noah.”
“How?”
She pulled back and licked her trembling lips. “Hard and fast. Ravage me. Please.”
Whatever she wanted, he would give. “Brace your hand on the edge, baby.”
He lifted one thigh and plunged into her tight sheath. His other hand fisted a handful of hair, and he bit her shoulder.
She screamed even as her pussy grew hotter around his cock. She angled her hips, pushed her groin into his as he slammed into her.
“Yes, Noah!”
Her hands flew to her breasts, tugging at her nipples as he invaded her slick channel. He released her shoulder so he could watch her torture her stiff nubs.
“God, baby. I love it when you do that.”
She leaned in closer. “Bite me again,” she groaned.
He caught her skin between his teeth and ravaged the tender flesh. Her moans grew louder, her hips circling as she worked herself into a frenzy.
“Ah, that feels so good.”
“I know. And it’s about to feel even better.”
He stroked into her fast and steady, his cock pushing all the way in with each thrust. Her mouth dropped open, sucking in desperate air as her eyes slid shut.
Pleasure poured over her face, and his heart stopped.
Letting go of her thigh, he drew her to him.
“We came on this trip with uncomplicated sex in mind. I was such an ass to you that first hour. You could so very easily have walked away. Now I can’t imagine being here with anyone but you.
I want to be everything you need, fulfill your every craving, slay your every fear. Say you’ll let me.”
He rolled his hips, and her eyelids quivered. “Yes, Noah… I’ll let you.”
Light flared through his chest. His every sense shook as he grappled with what was happening to him. He was unraveling, spiraling out of control with someone with as much baggage as he had.
And he didn’t care.
All he wanted to do was be with her, burn with her.
Her breath grew desperate and ragged. He knew what he wanted, but he kept her on the edge for a little while longer.
“Noah… God, please. I need you.”
“You’re mine, Leia.”
“Yes. Let me come, Noah. I’m yours… Let me come.”
“Yes,” he rasped, his vocal cords barely able to form the words as she exploded around him.
“Beautiful. So fucking beautiful,” he whispered.