Chapter 7
tear down the world
Sariah
“Why aren’t you married?”
That girl needs a good beating. Not literally, of course. I would never, but she’s tempting me to rethink that decision. She’s pushed all my buttons and has moved on to pushing Cian’s.
When he looks at me, his face is surprisingly void of anger. It’s also void of humor. “I only ever considered marrying one person. And she’s been unavailable.” His gaze lingers before sliding away like phantom fingerprints of a caress.
“My mom?”
“Yep.” He smooths the napkin in his lap as he sits under Renée’s stare.
“Why didn’t you marry her in college?”
“I was foolish not to.” He smiles at her. “I was broke, didn’t have a job, and had an apartment I shared with one other guy. It was probably smart she didn’t say yes. I’d bet you wouldn’t say yes under those conditions.”
My daughter’s chin lifts. “Damn right.”
“Mouth,” I interject as Cian releases a belly laugh and drops his palm on the table.
“The more I get to know you, the more I like you. You’re sharp.”
“Thank you.” She forks a bit of mushroom and lemon risotto into her mouth.
“Remind me never to introduce you to my sister.”
Renée stops chewing. The lines between her brows draw together as her lips tip down. She looks affronted.
“I’ll tell you why because I can tell you want to know even without asking.
” His focus is so completely on her that she knows she has his attention.
Why does that make me a hint jealous? “My sister, Ayla, is trouble. The good kind, but still trouble. The two of you together would terrorize Denver, the Front Range, and every person who got in your collective way.”
“I’d probably like her.”
“I know she’d like you.”
My daughter turns her attention to me. “Do you like his sister?”
“Well, it’s been years since I’ve seen her, but I did. Ci isn’t lying. She’s—at least, she was—a force to be reckoned with. She’s a little younger than me and was still in high school when we met.”
Cian cuts in. “On second thought, tell me when and I’ll take you to meet her. But for your mom’s sake, you have to promise not to get into trouble. Ayla’s a magnet for it. I’m still not over her encounter with that bear.”
“Bear?” Renée asks at the same time I ask, “That bear?”
“In her defense, it was the wrong time of year, but—”
“That’s no defense at all.” My head swings from my daughter to Cian and back again. “Nope. No Ayla for you.”
I could’ve timed the “But, Mom” that’s drawn out to multiple syllables not two seconds later. She probably expected the “Don’t ‘but mom’ me” I offer in return.
But it’s Cian who captures my attention from the corner of my eye. He regards the two of us as if watching a tennis match, his eyes bouncing back and forth between Renée and me. A small smile plays on his lips and his eyes crinkle at the corners.
His white dress shirt and olive-colored vest are both dressy and casual.
“Do you find this amusing?” I say with a sharpness that’s not harsh, but humorous.
“I do. You’ve met your match.” He turns to my daughter and lifts his water glass. “Well played.”
“Thank you.” She grins and raises hers to mirror his.
Oh no. The two of them ganging up on me has bad written all over it.
Cian
Dinner is not at all what I was expecting. Sariah is tense, despite my reassurances. Reaching out my hand, I take hers in mine and rest them on the center console. My thumb strokes the soft skin there as she stares where we’re joined.
Renée doesn’t appear to care, except that she seems to watch her mom’s actions and reactions. Though her words are the opposite. She tests me. I’ve disrupted their order and she, for all intents and purposes, is feeling me out to see what I’ll mess up and how.
“What’s your favorite subject?” I ask through the rearview mirror.
She shrugs. “I like civics and history. The rest is boring.”
“Boring,” Sariah offers under her breath. “Translation—all As. She’s bored because she’s not challenged. But convincing the school board to allow her to accelerate has been ridiculous.”
“I can’t help it that it’s easy.”
Sariah turns to face her daughter in the back seat. “Too smart for your own good, I always say. Can’t wait to see what you do with it.”
“Who knows?” The glow of the phone indicates she’s back with her device and leaving the conversation to die.
“And you? How’s your job?”
Sariah sighs. “It’s good. I love the concept of it and am thrilled we got the funding.
I can see the need for the app, and now we get to fill that void.
Testing will be a whole different animal, but being in on the ground floor has given me a chance to see the whole process.
I don’t think I’ll ever be up for building one on my own, but I’ve seen it done, so there’s always the possibility. ”
“What do you mean by testing?”
“I do pen testing—penetration testing—and cyber security. It’s on me to make sure it’s secure and hackers can’t get user data. Can you imagine what could happen if all those struggling teens’ info was on the streets?”
I nod. I don’t want to, but nefarious people do disgusting things all the time.
“How did you get involved with Connect2Coach?”
“You remembered that?”
“I remember everything.”
Her eyes widen, and she looks through the windshield but speaks to me.
“An ad online. My previous job was remote. They were pushing us to return to the office and we’d already moved here.
I don’t like uprooting our lives when I can avoid it.
And I could avoid that, so I did. Let’s be real.
I need a computer and an internet connection, not an office cubicle. It was a silly request.”
“Where did they want you to move?”
“Memphis. I’m no Elvis hater and I wouldn’t complain about the barbeque, but Memphis didn’t offer us the life I wanted, and it doesn’t offer what Renée needs, so I adjusted.”
Later I’ll ask what Renée needs that it was worth staying here. But for now, I’m grateful.
“Glad Graceland didn’t woo you away.” I bring her hand to my lips and kiss her knuckles. “I’m happy you’re here.”
“Do you love my mom?”
What do I do with that?
“I never fell out of love with your mom, if that’s what you’re asking.”
It’s Sariah’s sharp intake of breath at my first statement that makes the second come out quieter, “But we don’t know each other for who we are now, so that’s a tough question to answer.”
Forty-eight hours and I’m on the hotseat. She calls it like she sees it, which is a great thing in life, but, man, I’m unprepared.
Sariah says nothing. That’s okay too. I’d rather we not fill the cab with words we can’t un-say.
I walk them to the door, but don’t accept her invitation to go in. I have no good reason to decline but something in my gut says it’s the right decision.
Once Renée goes inside, I pull Sariah into my arms. Wordlessly, I kiss her, slow and deep. “Sleep well, Angel. Sweet dreams. I’ll call you in the morning.”
“Night, Ci. Be safe going home.”
I drop a kiss to her forehead in affirmation and wait until I hear the deadbolt before heading back to my truck.
I’m home and lounging with a glass of bourbon replaying my night when my phone rings.
“Hey, Ayla. What’s up?”
A long sigh is met with the hiccup from her crying. “Thanks for today. This whole thing has been shit, but I appreciate you.”
She and her husband are having a massive fight. As in a potentially marriage-ending type blow-up. Life’s been unimaginable for her for months. And there’s nothing I can do to make it easier for her.
“You’re my girl. If I could fix this, you know I would.”
“You’d tear down the world for those you love, while carrying us the whole way.”
“I’m not going to tell you everything’s going to be okay. I want nothing more. But I do know you’ll be okay no matter what.”
“Love you, Ci.”
“Love you, too, Ayla. Get some rest.”
She disconnects and I take a long, deep pull on my bourbon. It warms me to my core.
Ayla’s not wrong. I’d tear down the world for those I love.
Or build a new one.
Before
“Have you thought about what you want to do this summer?” I drop onto the sofa near my girlfriend, finding her deep in thought. “Earth to Renée.”
“What?”
“Where did you go? You were in another solar system.”
“Feels like it.”
“Explain please.”
“This—” She looks around. “Sometimes I wonder how it’s real.”
“I get that.” Fort Collins, Colorado in general, the mountains. I grew up here and the beauty still takes my breath away.
“Do you?”
I tilt her chin my way. “Why do I feel like we’re talking about two different things?”
She shrugs, her shoulders hitting her ears and staying there. “I just wonder sometimes how I got so lucky that you found me.”
I lean down and whisper against her lips, “I’m the lucky one. How someone like you choose someone like me I’ll never know… But I’m rolling with it.” I press my lips to hers.
She fiddles with my collar just below my Adam’s apple and lets out a moan that makes me hard. It doesn’t take much. Looking at her, hearing her, touching her… I’m eternally at half-mast near this girl.
We seem to never cross the line—the one that falls between ‘no’ and ‘yes.’ I want to. So, so badly, but she’s never been ready, and I won’t force the issue.
“I love you, Ci,” she says a hair’s breadth from my lips.
I freeze and pull back to hold her eyes. “Angel, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you too.”
She stands, taking my hand in hers, and leads me to my bedroom. She looks up at me with soft eyes, so trusting and so sweet they damn near bring me to my knees.
“Angel?” I hedge.
She looks away before locking her gaze on mine. The will of steel she has shines through. “I want to be yours, Ci.”
“You are mine.” I wrap my arms low at her waist, sliding them around her back to pull her close.
“In every way.”
Yes. Wow. Okay. “I want you in every way too.” Is this really happening? “But are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” Two words. Plain and simple.
I drop my lips to hers, pulling her tighter into my arms. No doubt she can feel my hard on between us.