Chapter 35 Alligator Speak
alligator speak
Sariah
Unknown: You’ll pay for what you did.
Unknown: How do you live with yourself, you cunt?
Unknown: I bet you think you’re so smart.
Yet another text comes in from the unknown numbers. I screenshot each and block them, marking as spam. Not that it does any good. My carrier doesn’t do a thing to prevent or punish.
They’ve come in steadily since the FBI raid took down the ring of sex purveyors.
Connect2Coach went down the very next day since there was nothing left to lose. My name and image were made public. My job was up. I wouldn’t work for people using the app for that purpose, especially when it was advertised as a safe place for troubled youth.
That night, I created a splash page that took over the main web site of Connect2Coach with the names, photos, and crimes of company leadership. Exposing them was satisfying, but risky.
I can only assume these messages are from them. No one in the wider net would know it was me, unless they’re tech gurus. And gurus would’ve covered their digital tracks much better.
I know the men. They’re harmless. To me, at least. To a vulnerable teen, I’d never use those words, but to a grown woman who can fish through their browser history, it’s accurate.
So much so that I haven’t told Cian about the messages. I should though. It slips my mind when he touches me or kisses me or smiles that knowing smile. Or says things about making babies or claiming my daughter as his own.
When we return from Rosie’s tonight, I will.
In fact, I have an alarm set on my phone.
It’s been more than a week since she came home to Cian’s house.
I’ve tried to convince her to stay one more night, to be here in the morning for Renée’s birthday breakfast, but she insists that’s a mother-daughter moment and she’ll meet us for dinner.
I understand. And getting back to normal—or this new normal—is good, but it’s been so nice having my whole family under one roof.
Randy’s absence is noticeable lately, though.
He was the strong silent type, but something about his presence was so calming and easy.
I wish he could meet Ci. I wish he knew Renée and the girl-woman she’s becoming.
She’s at that age where she’s too old to be a girl, but not yet a woman.
I guess in biblical times she’d already be married off and bearing children, but she’s definitely too young for that.
I hate the phrase young lady. It’s condescending and weird.
So I’m going with girl-woman, even though it’s atrocious, until I find something more appropriate.
Rosie has been the picture of health since her arrival here. The wound gives her phantom pains, and she grimaces when twisting, but when she takes her prescription regularly, there’s practically a bounce in her step. That said, I see a struggle in her that I haven’t noticed before.
And going home means she’ll be alone in it. Alone and grappling with some unknown thing. And to make it worse, I’m as happy as I’ve ever been. Her stress is far more conspicuous in that light.
She doesn’t seem concerned at all about the fact that someone was in her house. Twice. I press, but she reveals nothing, and obviously, there’s something to reveal.
But she insists, and far be it from me to try overriding her feelings when she knows her own mind. I’d be hellbent for leather if someone did that to me. Especially someone I love and trust.
Renée is sad to see her RoRo go home too. Twice she’s heard about seizures and hospital visits in the last month. Twice she’s been overwhelmed because Rosie is her person. Twice I’ve worried, not simply for myself with what’s happened with Rosie, but for my daughter. That cuts deep.
My days are filled with searching for a job, applying in earnest to open positions, and hearing absolutely nothing in return.
Name recognition is there. If nothing else, the FBI proved I understand cyber security, can ethically hack and penetration test with the best of them.
It also proved I’m trouble with a capital T for a company that isn’t one hundred percent above board.
Apparently, no one wants an employee who might create waves.
I’ve been without income for more than a week, and while I’ve been smart and saved where I could, I’m still a single mom——of a teenager no less—with expenses and no paycheck.
I wish my feet were prettier. Okay, not really. I can’t take down pervs just to feed their fetishes, but easy money sounds great when summer is almost here and I have a daughter coming into her makeup and hair era.
Ci tells me not to worry, but that’s easy for him to say. That’s unfair. It’s not easy, but the man whose contingencies have contingencies, who just found out he was being stolen from and is owed substantial backpay, seems content with our current situation.
I’m out on the terrace that dominates his back yard. A stone wall bounds the area. A row of evergreens does the rest. They provide privacy and seclusion, but by nature and not huge wooden slats.
It doesn’t mean no one can walk around from the side of the house. Ci’s mentioned his father has since I’ve been here. I slept right through that. He says Liam shows up on occasion as well.
But, for now, it’s just me. It’s me and the wind that pushes through the green spring leaves, cooling the warm sun on my skin. When the door to the terrace opens, I look up to Cian coming my way.
He takes the seat next to me and extends his palm for mine. “What do you need from me for tomorrow?”
I have everything ready. “Nothing. It’s all taken care of.”
“Gotcha. But that wasn’t what I was asking. I’m asking what you need from me. Do you need one-on-one time? Do you need me to hang back? How do I love you tomorrow to make it the best day for you and Renée?”
How is he real?
“I haven’t thought about it. She’s never had a dad. Randy passed when she was three, so it’s only ever been the three of us. There’ve been a lot of changes and while those are all in my favor, and in hers, it doesn’t mean there aren’t emotions. Can I ask you to ask her that question?”
He’s thoughtful for a moment, looking through the tree line, into what, I don’t know.
“I can do that. I’d also like to do a Murphy thing for her birthday. Liam, Ayla, Christian. Are you good if I ask about that as well? Or is that a you thing?”
“What do you mean?”
“I want a relationship with her. I want to get to know her. I don’t want to trump you. I know we’ve talked about it before, but I’m dancing a fine line.”
“Ask her. If she’s game, I’m fine with it. I want her to make decisions and speak her mind and heart. Not with the sass of hormones, but, well, that’s inevitable, so…”
“When do we hear about the standardized tests? And—” He pauses. “This house is zoned for a different junior high school than yours. Do we register her there for next year or do you want her to stay where she is?”
I hadn’t realized how in depth he’s been considering our future. “Are you asking us to move in with you?”
“You’re already moved in. If this house isn’t your flow or you want something different, we’ll look. The market is bonkers, but we’ve got options. Is there a school district you want?”
“I— I hadn’t considered schools. I haven’t researched anything aside from my area since it was affordable with a good elementary and middle.”
“Will you spend some time in the next week or two looking into it? Find a great district. Solid options for high school. Great elementaries.” His gaze drops from the trees to me before he leans down to take my mouth.
“You’re serious?” I pull back, rubbing my fingers along his jaw and down to the collar of his shirt.
“Never been more serious in my life, Angel.”
“Okay then. And what if this house isn’t in that district?”
“Then we’ll move. We’re not trees. We’re mobile. It’s our family and our future. Pick what we need.”
Our family and our future.
“What’s my budget?”
“Let’s look at it when you find the right schools. We can’t move in near Ayla and Christian, that’s for sure, but we have some flexibility.”
“You know I don’t have a job. I— I can’t contribute to this venture right now, and don’t know how much I’ll be able to when I can.”
“That’ll work itself out. I’m not worried about it.”
“It’s not that easy.” My temper is rising.
“Why not?”
Grrr. “How can you say that?”
He stills and stares at me, his eyes roam from my mouth to my eyes, pausing on the beauty mark near my right eye.
“Sariah, I lost you once. I lost you more than a decade with you. I have you now. We’re back.
Everything else is extra. We will find a way.
” He emphasizes every word. “I never thought I’d see you again.
But I hoped. I saved. I worked. And I worked a lot.
I have enough. And my father, ass that he is”—he grits his teeth—“ensured I had more because he was foolish in how he cooked the books. I will work. I’ll work hard for you and for our family.
When you’re ready, you can too—if you want, whatever that looks like. ”
“But—”
“You don’t need to stress over this right now.”
“But Renée…”
“Is family.” He leans in to kiss me again before whispering, “Let me take care of you, Angel. It would be my privilege.”
Cian
I kiss Sariah before sliding out of bed and tucking the covers around her the next morning.
Today is Renée’s birthday. The clock starts today for at least a year.
My heart is heavy, and my mind is at war.
We could run. It’s only a year. My job is…
who knows what it is right now. Sariah’s is non-existent, and Renée could see the world.
I get it now. I so get it. The freedom, the escape, the peace of mind I could have and I could give the woman I love.
I’m nervous to leave them. My love and the girl who I never knew I needed… both asleep and helpless if something were to happen.