Chapter 53 However You Come
however you come
Cian
“RoRo called. She said you owed her an update but you weren’t answering. I don’t know where Mom’s phone is so she called me.”
“I think your mom’s phone is still in her car at the nail salon. Nice color choice, by the way. I always like when I see Broncos colors.”
“It wasn’t for that.” She stares at her toes.
“I figured.” I pour out the stale coffee that’s hours old at this point and start a new pot. “I want to ask you something, but I need you to be honest with me, okay?”
“Okay.”
“No, like one hundred percent, lay-it-all-out-there honest. Will you do that?”
She scrunches her face, but it comes and goes quickly as she hefts herself onto a bar stool, one arm abandoning her in the attempt. “I guess.”
I lean on the island, forearms to the cold stone. “I want to marry your mom. I’ve wanted to marry her for most of my life. Since before you were born. I never thought I’d do this, but I want your blessing and I’m asking your permission to ask her.”
“Why?”
“Why do I want to marry her?”
“Why do you want my blessing?”
“Because you are the single greatest person in her life. Because she loves you more than breathing. Because if you say yes, she will too.”
Renée bites the inside of her lip and looks out the window.
“You’re killing me, Smalls.”
“Who’s Smalls?”
“We’ll fix that tonight.”
“Fix what?”
“You not knowing who Smalls is.”
“Okay,” she agrees.
“Okay to fixing the Smalls thing?”
“Yes, and okay to marrying my mom. She loves you. She deserves to have someone to love her like you do. And I’m going to college.”
“In like four years.” I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. The joy elbowing its way from my insides is palpable.
“Well, yeah.”
“That’s a ways off.”
She shrugs. “Still, it’s happening.”
“Where do you want to go?”
Another shrug, this time one shoulder. Two means no big deal. One, though… one means she’s stewing on something and isn’t ready to share.
“Tell me when you’re ready. We’ll find a way to make it happen. You go too far away though and your mom will be stressed.”
“Define too far away,” she starts.
“What’s too far away?” Sariah asks from the hall.
“Nothing,” Renée and I say in unison, and I wink at the younger of the duo.
“Why don’t I believe you?”
I lift the now full coffee pot. “Want a cup?”
“Definitely,” Sariah says.
I flip my gaze to Renée asking her the same with my eyes.
“Nah. I’m not supposed to with this.” She points to her head.
“Don’t tell Ayla that.” I laugh at my own joke and don’t bother to explain why to either of the women who stare at me.
Pulling two mugs down, I fill one then the other and doctor Sariah’s up with honey and cream. I place it in her outstretched hands just as my phone dings quietly.
Liam: All good.
Me: That’s it?
Liam: That’s it.
Me: Okay. We just woke up. Both my girls are home. Both required hospital visits. Long night. I’ll tell you when we catch up.
Liam: {Thumbs up emoji}
My brother. I’ll never understand him.
I take a deep pull of coffee and rewind my brain. “Née, did Rosie need something?”
“What’s wrong with RoRo?” Sariah asks.
“This answer-a-question-with-a-question thing is deeply annoying.” Teenage angst has reentered the chat. She’s down the hall and back again, now only half clothed, before letting herself out onto the terrace with Eleanor as her shadow.
“Where are the rest of her clothes?”
Sariah smiles at her coffee and says, “You’re in for a world of hurt. That’s”—she tilts her head toward the sun-filled backyard—“mostly dressed for that age group.”
I shake my head and blink like I’m a meme waiting to happen. “Say what?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Oh no. I don’t want—” My words come to an abrupt stop. I don’t want last weekend. I don’t want control the way that man did. But, dang, I’m ill-prepared for being a parent to a teenager.
I slide onto the sofa next to Sariah and set my coffee aside. Letting out an exhale, I stare at the carpet between my bare feet and say what I’ve dreaded for too long. “Liam wants to use the girls at Rosie’s as bait for Jonas. He wants to lure him here and—”
“What the fuck, Ci?” She jolts so fast, coffee sloshes over her mug and onto her thigh. “Shit, that’s hot. Fuck.”
I rush to the kitchen and get a hand towel and wet it. When I get back, she slaps my hand away as I try to help.
“Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
“And you think this is a good idea? To put them in that situation?”
“I think they’ve never been given a choice on anything in their lives.”
Everything ceases.
Her heavy breathing.
The frantic cleaning.
Everything.
“I think it sucks, and I wouldn’t want Renée in that position ever. I’d torture anyone who gave her the option. But if I’ve learned one thing this last week, it’s that not having the choice is someone controlling you. And I won’t be to them what Jonas is.”
Unshed tears pooling in her eyes, she stands and rushes me. Pressing up to her toes, she lifts her arms around my neck and kisses me like she never has before.
“Oh, cool. She said yes then?”
Sariah’s body goes stone stiff, and her eyes open to hold mine. “What?”
That one-word is so low even I can barely hear it. Renée certainly can’t.
“Yay. I didn’t expect you to ask so soon, but I’m happy for both of you. Can I see the ring?”
Sariah
His eyes fall closed, and I’m left to wonder if he’s disappointed. My daughter deciding me kissing him was something more than it is couldn’t have worse timing.
“Renée, I…”
“Wait right here.” Cian strides down the hall to our bedroom, returning moments later.
He looks at Renée and winks before dropping to one knee in front of me.
Time stands still.
“Sariah, I’ve loved you from the time I’ve known what love is. I’ve only ever loved you. I want all your days. All your good ones and all your bad ones and whatever life throws at us. Would you do me the honor of being my wife?”
Yes. A million yeses wouldn’t be enough.
The tears that threatened to fall pour down my cheeks. “Yes. Of course, yes. It’s only ever been you, Cian.”
He flips open a gray ring box, and my mouth parts.
Unladylike or no, my eyes bug, and I start to reach before drawing back my fingers. “I’m sorry. That was rude.”
“Are you apologizing for wanting your ring?” His chuckle is music to my ears and my heart as he slips the ring from its holder and slides it onto my finger. An oval cut diamond, clear and bright, sits in a halo of pink diamonds, those encircled again by more brilliant white ones.
I stare and stare some more. Renée runs around Cian, still on one knee, and grabs my hand.
“Whoa. That’s awesome. And it’s pink like your peonies.
I’m glad I said yes.” As if my whole world hasn’t been rocked, she skips away.
“Come on, Ellie. Sun’s a-wasting. Let’s let the old people have their moment. ”
I’d be insulted if I could do anything other than stare, my mouth hanging open at my own left hand.
“Ci, it’s… I’m… Renée…”
He rises from his place on the floor, pulls my hand to his lips, and places a kiss right where his ring rests at my knuckle.
“Complete sentences, Angel.”
But I never get the chance. He pulls me flush to his body, one hand fists my hair, angling my head as he takes my mouth. The other arm wraps low around my back bringing me in contact with his perfect body.
He drinks from me like a man parched by the desert sun in August. And I’m here for it.
I take as he gives and then give in return.
We’re both panting when he pulls back. He’s hard, and his eyes are wild.
I stare over his shoulder at the blinding ring on my left hand. “Did you just ask me to marry you when I’m covered in coffee, with crazy hair and yesterday’s mascara all over my cheeks?”
“No.” He must see the look on my face because he goes on quickly. “I didn’t ask for one day. I asked for you every day of forever. You in spilled coffee. You in a hospital gown. You, however you come. Today’s as good a day as any to begin our forever.”
I faceplant into his chest and sob.
It goes on long enough that he scoops me up like a groom would a bride and returns to the sofa. At that thought, the tears flow even harder.
Now I’m covered in coffee, bruised, and have a red, splotchy face with a warm, swollen nose. And I’m cocooned in his lap as he holds me.
Eventually the tears subside, and I’m left feeling silly… but wholly loved. Cherished even.
“When did you do this?” I hold my ring out, sniffling.
“Before the wires came off, before the date that never was.”
“Really?”
“Really.” He kisses my forehead. “It’s always been you. It’s only ever been you.”
I look into his face. “I can’t wait to be your wife.”
“Is today too soon?”
I laugh and stroke the two days’ worth of stubble on his chin. “Yes. But only because of the bruises.”
“Okay, fine.” He fakes being deflated, but I know inside it’s partially true. “But soon.”
“I can’t wait to be a Murphy.” It comes out as a whisper. The heaviness of that truth has its own weight in the room.
A thought occurs to me. “What about Renée?”
His eyes hold mine. “I’m ready when she’s ready, but it gets to be her choice.”
I couldn’t love this man any more than I already do. If I could, this moment would have sealed it. And if that weren’t obvious by the look on my face, the stupid sniffles returning would be enough.