9. Jovie
JOVIE
I wouldn’t typically go into a lingerie store alone. On a typical day, Marlowe would be with me, but I haven’t told her the truth yet about why I need lingerie. I know her too well. She’d ask if I was getting back together with Luca.
If my best friend asks me questions, I’m not going to lie to her. I have to keep the truth from her for as long as possible or she’ll talk too much sense into me.
I stand outside of Sheer Imagination, a lingerie boutique down the street from me.
But I’m too nervous to go inside.
I’ve never worn lingerie. I’ve never bought it before. I don’t know what I like or what Santino might like because, let’s be honest, I don’t know him very well.
“What the fuck are you doing, Jovie? You have no idea. This is laughable.” I twist my hands together, my fingers tangled with nerves and my heart racing as I stare at the door.
The outside of the building is painted a light pink, the window trim is a bright white, and there is a pin-up girl drawn onto the glass, wearing lingerie with a finger pressed against her lips.
I sit down on the wooden bench that faces the store, doing my best to get the courage to stand up and walk through those doors.
I’m a virgin in more ways than one. Luca cheated on me because I wouldn’t have sex with him, which isn’t the first time that’s happened to me, and it probably won’t be the last. Because I’ve never taken that step, lingerie is something I’ve never considered.
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “And you shouldn’t be considering it now.”
Santino makes me feel brave, though. I want to step out of my comfort zone for him. He hasn’t asked or pushed for me to be here. I want to be. All I need to do is open the damn door and step inside.
This bravery to try new things has my entire body trembling with excitement and fear. I like feeling this. I’m so used being inside the flower shop, cutting stems, perfecting bouquets, placing orders, etc.... etc.… that I’ve forgotten to live my life.
Santino energizes me. I want to live life to the fullest and take risks when it comes to him.
My phone vibrates and I sigh, digging into my purse. It’s a welcome distraction on my day off. The flower shop is always closed on Mondays so I can have the option to run the errands.
Santino: “What is my favorite secret admirer up to today, Ms. Smith?”
I smile, looking left and right to make sure I’m alone.
Me: “I’m shopping. You’re not allowed to know for what.”
Him: “That’s not fair. I’m sure I can be very useful. Do you need any money? I can send you some. Your day can be on me.”
The sun peeks out from the clouds. The rays warm my face. I hover a hand over my eyebrows to block the brightness so I can see the screen. I’d feel more comfortable using his money if he knew who I was. I frown, wondering if he would offer his money to anyone.
Me: “That’s very thoughtful of you, but I have my own money. I do well for myself.”
I send a heart emoji too hoping it doesn’t sound too snippy.
Him: “It isn’t about that. It’s about taking care of you.”
Me: “I can take care of myself.”
Him: “It isn’t about that. It’s about being taken care of.”
“Excuse me?”
A sweet, happy voice has me whip my head up.
A middle-aged woman smiles down at me; her brown eyes filled with warmth.
Her dark hair is up in a French twist, and her blush is a light shade pink dashed across her cheeks.
There are wrinkles by her eyes when she smiles, adding to the comfort I immediately feel in her presence.
She’s wearing a blush-colored shirt with a black blazer, matching the store’s vibes.
Oh my god.
She’s from the Sheer Imagination.
I drop my phone into my purse and return the smile. “Hi.”
“I am so sorry to bother you on such a beautiful day, but you’ve been out here for a bit.
I’ve been keeping an eye on you to see if you’d come inside.
Is everything okay, dear?” She smiles again, showing her teeth that are somehow just as endearing as she is.
Her two front teeth slightly overlap the other, adding to her natural charm.
“Are you only looking around? Exploring?”
My face heats. “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed. You’re telling me to leave in a very nice way, aren’t you? I am so sorry. I’ll go. I didn’t mean to cause any attention.” I hook my purse strap on my shoulder, doing my best not to look at her because when I’m panicked, tears build.
“Oh my goodness, no! No, no, no.” She places a hand on my shoulder to stop me from leaving.
There’s no force added. Her touch is gentle and easy, still giving me the option to leave if I want.
“I’m just wondering if you want to come inside?
You can see the clothes better in there than you can out here. ”
“I… I don’t know. I’m not sure. I’ve never gone into a store like this before.
I don’t know what I like or what would look good on me.
Thinking about it is overwhelming.” I have a curvaceous body, one I’m proud of.
It isn’t about not liking my body. I do.
I love my body. I also have never been the kind of person to show a lot of skin.
It’s preference. It’s about comfort level.
“We have so many options that will look fabulous on you. Come on.” She hurries to the front door, opening it, doing the hardest part for me.
“We’ll get you in pieces that you’re going to love.
So many women feel the exact same way you do.
Showing our bodies… it’s so vulnerable. Being vulnerable is hard.
It allows people to see another side of you, and we as women are so careful with what others see, aren’t we?
We choose it and that’s what makes women so powerful.
Our vulnerability can show whenever we please, but it also doesn’t mean anyone else needs to see it.
Maybe you want to feel different for yourself.
That’s more than okay too. Nothing in this store is for others. It’s only for you.”
I stand, hiking my purse up my shoulder.
There’s a quick thought to make a run for it.
I should run. As far away as I can because it’s not like I can tell her, ‘Hey, I need lingerie to impress my ex’s dad that I’m talking to in text only.
I sent him flowers with my number on it, but he doesn’t know it’s me. ’
Yeah, that will go over swimmingly.
“You’re really great at this,” I say, taking a step forward.
“Well, I would sure hope so. It is my store. I’ve been in this business for many years. I know when people need a little push.” She winks at me and it’s enough to have me smile, then step inside.
The air conditioning feels so good drifting over my heated skin. I must have been outside longer than I thought.
“Wow.” I’m in awe with how the store looks.
Everything has a designated spot. There aren’t racks upon racks of lingerie. There’s plenty of space to navigate without feeling overwhelmed with options.
The store is narrow but long. To the left, there’s the register.
Behind the register are two sales associates checking customers out.
All of their outfits match so it must be a uniform of some sort.
Mannequins are strategically placed in a few corners, draped in their newest or best-selling lingerie.
Most of the pieces are black and that’s not my favorite color. I love richer or brighter shades. Greens and purples are my favorite.
The floors are polished wood with a deep red stain.
The ceilings are high with huge beams and large fans to keep the air circulating.
The walls are painted an off-white, making it easier on the eyes.
Each piece of lingerie has its own section built within the wall.
In the back, there’s a winding staircase that leads up to the second floor.
“Upstairs is where we do alterations of any kind. Bras, underwear, lingerie, everything is made to fit you how you deserve.”
“To think I almost walked away.”
“You might find the favorite version of yourself here. You never know.” She winks. “I’m Sally. If you have any questions, let me know, and I’ll help.”
“I’m Jovie. Thank you so much for getting me in here.”
“Anytime. If you need another push, let me know.”
“Am I allowed to try lingerie on?”
“Yes. We just have a rule that you have to keep your underwear on,” she smiles. “If you need a fitting room, come snag me, dear. And if you don’t mind me making a suggestion.”
“Oh, please do,” I practically groan.
She taps her lips before she saunters over to the right side of the store. “I think this would look fabulous on you. With your red hair and fair skin, this deep purple would look fantastic. What do you think?” She eyes me up and down, nodding, then spins around to finger her way through the sizes.
Sally holds up a beautiful lace teddy with flower designs embroider into the lace.
The straps are wider to give support to my larger chest. The neckline is deep, cutting into a tight V that crosses into the stomach area.
The back is very low cut, angling into another V that would stop just before my butt shows, covering the crease by a thread.
The gown is short, probably stopping mid-thigh.
There’re slits on either side that tease my hips with how high they are cut.
“Wow.” I reach out to touch the material, shocked by how soft it is between my fingers. I know it would feel weightless on. “It’s gorgeous.”
“And I have this emerald green set that I think you will adore. Follow me and then we’ll get you into a fitting room. What do you think?”
She likes to ask that a lot and I find comfort in it.
“Sounds perfect.” It’s almost like I don’t have to do any shopping at all with how comfortable she makes me feel.