Chapter 18 Harper
HARPER
None of this made sense. I tucked the folder under my arm and approached the cabin with slow strides. The front door opened and three dark figures emerged.
“Harper. You’re right on time.” Julian’s smile was a thing of beauty. He wore a short sleeve polo and jeans with a pair of motorcycle boots, his tattoos on full display.
I gaped at him, then at Dante and Alexander. Like Julian, they were also dressed casually, though Dante hadn’t given up his dress slacks. I grinned a bit at that before schooling my expression into one of curiosity. “Am I early? I expected the others to meet me here.”
“Others?” Alexander slid his hands into his pockets and motioned for me to pass him.
I crossed the threshold and almost staggered to a stop. For a remote cabin in the woods, it definitely fit their higher social standing. A large chandelier hung overhead, the crystal and chrome muted in the afternoon light that filtered in from a wall of windows on the second floor.
Wooden staircases swept upward on my left and my right, leading to a large balcony that overlooked the foyer. My heart skipped, then settled in a too-fast pace.
“Where’s everyone else?” The hollow ring of footsteps echoed, and no one else came to greet me.
Dante closed the door with a solid thud. “There is no one else.”
“What?” I whirled to face them. Wrong move.
I should have kept my back to them. Looking them in the eyes brought back every memory, every moment we’d spent together.
“You brought me here under false pretenses, pretending this was a marketing meeting, when all you really wanted was to wait in the shadows and ambush me?” A chill skittered up my spine, and I clutched the folder tighter.
“Ambush you?” Julian prowled toward me. “What are you talking about? I asked you here for a strategy meeting. I assumed you knew what that meant.”
“I thought I did.” I lifted my chin and let the anger run through me in a hot haze that stiffened my spine. “I’d decided to put some distance between us. I needed space, but you couldn’t handle that, could you? You clearly ignored my wishes, even after all your promises that you would.”
Alexander’s frown deepened. He held up a hand in a full-stop motion.
“What the fuck are you talking about? You completely shut us out. The last time we talked, you were on board with this. You wanted to be discreet, but you were all in.” He pointed at the space around us.
“This is us being discreet. Exactly as you asked.”
Oh…well, fuck. I backtracked mentally. He was right.
“You ghosted us.” Alexander eased his hands into his pockets. It was a benign gesture, but I sensed the tension in him. Tension and something in his eyes that almost looked like hurt. “Why? Why would you promise one thing, then do the opposite? What else were we supposed to do?”
I lowered my arms and let the folder drop onto the table beside me. My vision blurred, but I forced the feeling away. The silence in the cabin wrapped around us as all three of them waited for my response. It was one of their more unique qualities.
“You’re right. I did tell you that was what I wanted.
I should have come to you and told you I’d changed my mind instead of hiding.
” The urge to explain poured out of me. To hell with my confidence and trying to prove to them that I wasn’t scared and uncertain sometimes.
“I’m not great with confrontation. I thought if I ignored you, you’d get the hint. ”
“We don’t work that way, and we thought you trusted us enough to bring us the truth, no matter how difficult.” Dante remained furthest away from me. Unlike Jullian and Alexander, he seemed least likely to forgive me for blindsiding them. “We do uphold our promises, Harper.”
“I know.” I barely whispered the words but they stretched across the room.
The threat of the text loomed over me, drying out my throat and curling my hands into fists.
I’d avoided them without explanation because I worried they’d blame me for the message.
I should’ve known better, but years of taking the blame because I was an easy target didn’t go away just because they’d showered me with attention.
I should tell them about the message now, while we were getting everything out in the open.
I opened my mouth, prepared to do so, but the words died in my throat.
My anxiety over the message had already almost ruined what we had.
I couldn’t bring myself to trouble them when it might not mean anything.
“But that doesn’t mean I want to keep doing this.
” Every word tore at me. My chest ached, my heart protesting against the cruelty I brought with nothing but my voice.
“We’re here. We’re talking. And I’m telling you that I don’t want to be with you anymore.
” My voice gave out, and I pressed my lips into a hard line.
The room went still. Silent.
I forced myself not to react, not to give in to the desperate pain shredding my heart and causing my breath to burn in my throat. I met Julian’s gaze, then Alexander’s. I saved Dante for last. He was the one I had to convince. The others would do as he ordered.
I had no choice. I had to bury what happened and move on.
They’d taught me more about myself in a matter of weeks—my wants, dreams, and desires—than I’d discovered in my entire lifetime.
I owed them for that, and the best way I knew to repay them was to set them free from someone who would bring them nothing but disaster.
Say something. I barely resisted screaming it at them, but the control I desperately needed held firm.
Dante took a step toward me. Julian and Alexander stepped to either side and fell in behind him. Ice blue eyes locked onto my face and held me captive. Nothing could tear my gaze away from the dark, hooded look I’d come to understand meant devastation.
All my fears coiled tight. But my body? My body unraveled.
My heart pounded. One wrong move and I’d shatter into a million broken pieces, too tiny and sharp to ever be put back together.
They’d offered me everything, and I threw it back in their faces.
For their protection. But they didn’t know that.
Dante destroyed me with nothing more than a look, but I held on, reminding myself again and again that this was for the best.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” His hand lifted and cupped my cheek, and he smoothed his thumb over the soft skin beneath my eye.
“Because it seems to me that you are crying at the thought.” He lowered his head, stopping a breath away.
“Tell us the truth, Harper. We will accept that you’re done with us if you can say it without breaking down in tears. ”
“I…” I squeezed my eyes shut. I hadn’t even realized I was crying. I’d tried so hard to keep my emotions in check, but they refused to stay buried when I put my future happiness at risk. What about the risk to them? The vicious cycle continued on a never-ending loop.
Dante’s thumb caressed my cheek a second time. “You’re still crying. Tell me what’s on your mind. Do you truly want us to leave you alone?” The low, husky timbre turned what should have been a command into a plea.
“No. That’s not what I want.” I pressed my cheek into his hand and gave in. I gave in to myself and what they had given me.
Dante pulled me to his chest and slanted his lips over mine before I could explain. I should tell them about the text message and let them make a decision once they had all the information.
I should, but Dante made a ragged sound that obliterated all my good intentions.
With that sound, my brain stopped working and my body took over. Broad hands tunneled through my hair and locked my head in place. Dante walked me backward, barely breaking off the kiss long enough to guide me up the stairs and into the nearest room.
Julian and Alexander trailed him, but once the door shut behind us, they surrounded me. Hands caressed my body. Lips trailed across my shoulders and down the center of my back. They undressed me slowly, kissing every inch of skin.
Night stretched around us, the sweep of moonlight painting the room in a wash of watery starlight.
They consumed me, and I reveled in every moment.
We made love in every room. On every available surface.
And even when it was rough and Dante made his dark commands that had me crawling on my knees and drowning in his cock, I could not have been happier.
They made me come alive. They fed the dark desires I hadn’t known I craved and gave me freedom to be myself.
I never had to second guess anything with them.
From Julian’s cocky smile to Alexander’s reserved personality to Dante’s need to command, they owned me heart, body, and soul.
Maybe that was what I’d been afraid of all along, that I would fall for them and they—like everyone else who’d been in my bed—would tire of me and cast me aside.
For three days I reveled in sexual bliss. No need went unanswered, and we spent so much time locked together that I had no idea how I’d function in the office by myself once we returned to work.
Late Sunday night, we stood in the middle of the foyer in an embrace that I never wanted to end. Julian kissed my cheek. “Be safe going home. Text us when you get there so we know you’re safe.”
“I will.” I hugged each of them one last time. “I’ll see you tomorrow. And we go back to pretending none of this has happened.”
“If that’s what you want.” Dante had said that more than a few times this weekend. His commanding presence remained, but there was a softness to him that I hadn’t expected. His eyes crinkled when he smiled and framed my face in his wide hands. “You are ours, Harper. And we are yours.”
The words shivered through me, lodging in my heart.
How was it possible that I’d managed to lay claim to all three of these men?
I stopped questioning it and leaned into his touch.
“This weekend was incredible. I wish it didn’t have to end, but I’d never forgive myself if us being together ruined the company. You worked too hard.”
“Companies come and go.” Alexander kissed the top of my head and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. His gray eyes softened when he looked at me, and it was all I could do not to fling myself into his arms and tell him I loved him.
Instead of doing what I wanted, I did what had to be done and took a step back. Then another. I walked outside, going straight to my car without looking back. If I looked back, I’d lose the ability to leave.
We needed distance and a few hours to rest before we faced the world and pretended we were nothing more than boss and employee.
Lila met me at the door with a glass of wine and a smile. “Tell me everything.”
I fell onto the couch and replayed every moment, telling her what I could but keeping many things for myself. I loved her, but some of the things I’d done with Dante, Julian, and Alexander were for the four of us and no one else.
Lila refilled my wine halfway through and curled into the corner of the couch. By the time I finished, her eyes were wide and her smile had stretched to match. “I’m so fucking happy for you. Jealous as shit, but happy too. You deserve this, Harper.” She patted my knee and finished her wine.
I held my argument back. I didn’t deserve them. I’d lied to them. A lie by omission but still a lie.