Chapter 24 Harper
HARPER
Safe. A single word had never meant so much to me. It was like love. Warm and wholesome and all-encompassing.
Lila closed the door and locked it. “Go sit down. I’ll make you something to eat.” She hurried toward the kitchen, barely stopping to kick off her shoes and drop her purse onto the narrow table behind the couch.
I sank into the plush cushions and dragged the throw off the back of the couch, wrapping it around my shoulders. A shudder ripped through my body, followed by another.
Dante, Julian, and Alexander drove out of sight, taking my heart with them. Maybe I should have told them about the baby, but I’d just learned the news and a part of me wanted to hold onto it for a minute.
I placed a hand on my stomach and closed my eyes. A baby. I’d never considered motherhood as something I would be interested in.
Lila opened a cabinet, and the rattle of pots and pans filled the empty house with a clatter. I almost smiled, but the threat of tears caused it to quiver and fall away.
The scent of ginger and lemon drifted across my nose. “Here. Try drinking this.”
I cracked my eyes open and found Lila standing beside me with a cup held out. “What is it?”
“Lemon ginger tea. It’s supposed to help with nausea. You’ve gone pale again, and I need you to eat without getting sick.” She pushed the cup closer. “Drink. Slowly.”
“Thank you.” A waver shook my voice, but I took the cup with steady hands and sipped. “It’s not bad.”
Lila nodded and wheeled toward the kitchen, leaving me alone with my thoughts. That was what I’d wanted, but sitting here staring at the sunshine yellow walls gave me too much open space and emptiness. My mind refused to settle, except to keep reminding me of the brand new life growing inside me.
Pregnant. Dad would have been thrilled. The thought brought a new wave of grief. How was I supposed to wrap my mind around the idea of being pregnant when I could barely bring myself to think about it?
I ran my hand up and down over my belly, and a surge of pure love warmed me from head to toe. I might not have considered motherhood, but now that it had been thrown in my lap, I was all in.
“I’m keeping the baby.” I spoke loud enough for my words to carry into the kitchen.
Lila poked her head around the wall where the kitchen and dining room met. “I thought you would. You’ll be a great mom.”
“I don’t know about that, but I’m going to protect him, or her, no matter the cost.” I rubbed my stomach again.
No matter the cost. Another sip of tea and the nausea abated.
I finished off the cup and set it on the coffee table, then pulled my feet onto the couch and tilted my head to watch Lila bustle around in our small kitchen.
Our cozy home was perfect for us, but would it be big enough for a baby, then a toddler? Hardly. Lila and I already tripped over each other in the two-bedroom space.
Lila stirred something on the stove, then poured it from the pot into two matching bowls. She plated a small tray of sandwiches and carried them into the living room. “Soup and sandwiches. Not elegant but filling and easy enough to eat with an upset stomach.”
After she set the food down, she curled up in the far corner of the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest. “How are you going to tell them about the baby?”
I picked up a sandwich but couldn’t bring myself to take a bite. Instead, I turned it around and around in my hands. “I don’t know. I need to think about it and come up with a plan.”
“Do you think they’ll be upset or something?” Lila hugged her calves and pulled her bowl of soup close to her chin. She blew on the hot liquid, sending curls of steam between us.
“I don’t know.” I hated having to say that again and again, but it was true. “We never talked about the possibility. I told them I was on birth control, so we never…” I shrugged as I trailed off.
We didn’t have a normal relationship. I’d slept with them. The responsibility for all of this fell on me.
“Harper, you need to tell them. Soon.” Lila set her bowl down without taking a bite. “They need to know. It’s not fair to keep this from them. You wouldn’t want them keeping secrets from you.”
I almost lashed out that it was none of her business, but she only said it because she wanted what was best for me. “I’ve always loved that about you. You’re never afraid to tell me the truth.”
“We’ve been friends too long for me to sit back and watch you burn it all to ashes. You love them, and they care about you. They’ll do the right thing.” She sounded so certain that my heart leaped in anticipation of a bright and beautiful future.
I tamped down that ridiculous fantasy. “The best I expect from them is that they let me have the baby without any fuss. I doubt any of them care to be a father.” My chest constricted, and I stopped talking to keep from breaking down in tears.
“You don’t know that. You’re making assumptions and assuming the worst.” Lila patted my foot beneath the blanket, then stood. “I forgot my drink. You want anything?”
“Water would be great.” I made myself take a bit of the sandwich. Made myself chew and swallow, then spoon up a bite of the rich tomato soup and let the flavors ease my anxiety away.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I set everything aside to fish it out.
It buzzed a second time, and a jolt of hope sparked deep in my chest. Maybe they were texting to tell me they were not giving up on me.
I wanted that, even though I’d told them to go.
My own wishy-washy wants and expectations appalled me.
I refused to be disappointed if the text was from someone else.
They’d honored my wishes. How dare I feel anything other than relief that they held true to their word?
The ridiculous giddy feeling evaporated in an instant when the unknown number appeared on my screen. I checked over my shoulder for Lila, afraid to let her see the new messages.
She’d moved to the other side of the kitchen and stood with her back to me. I’d tell her about them later, once I knew what they said.
I swiped over to my texts.
This is what happens when you keep making mistakes. Mistakes end in happy little accidents. Get rid of yours and walk away. Ignore this warning, and I’ll do more than leak pictures. Ignore me again, and I’ll blow your secret wide open.
They’d had the nerve to end the threats with a smiley face emoji that twisted my stomach. I’d never be able to look at emojis the same way again.
Walk away. The clear underlying threat knocked me back into the couch with my phone clutched to my chest.
My vision wavered, and I sucked in a lungful of air. The black spots danced out of sight. Get rid of yours. No. Never. I gripped my phone tighter and ground my teeth together.
How could I end this?
The last thing I wanted to do was walk away from the men I’d fallen head over heels for.
Lila might be right. I might even love them.
Didn’t that mean I should be willing to sacrifice for them?
I would. As much as it destroyed me to even think it, I would walk away from them if it protected their reputations and saved my career.
But I absolutely, under no circumstances, would not abort my baby to satisfy this sick motherfucker trying to blackmail me. I would not sacrifice my baby for anyone or anything.
Lila carried two glasses into the living room and handed me one. Ice water clinked in clear glass, condensation gathering on the sides and trickling down over her fingers.
I took it from her and gulped half the glass before setting it down on the table beside my food.
“Eat.” Lila nudged my plate closer. “Whatever that is, it can wait five minutes. You need food or I’m taking you back to the hospital.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“I’m going to be the best aunt this world has ever seen. If that has to start right now with me forcefeeding you so you don’t collapse again, so be it.” She perched on the edge of the couch and poked my plate. “Eat.”
“Fine.” I grumbled but took another bite. I chewed my way through my emotions, eating the sandwich and half the soup before a resolution dawned on me. I would not give up my child, but I would give up my career at Elevate.
The thought hurt, but it would be for the best. I hugged the blanket tighter over my body and typed out the message.
I’ll turn in my letter of resignation tonight.
A response dinged right away.
I want proof.
I had no idea how to manage that without giving away private email addresses. Grimacing, I showed Lila the messages.
Her eyebrows shot up and she nearly ripped the phone from my hands. “You can’t do this, Harper. Why would you let this anonymous person have such a hold on your life? Tell them you’re going to the police.”
“And the police will do what?” I took my phone back and typed out a message that I immediately deleted. “Nothing has been done. It’s all threats.”
“They can track the number and see who’s behind it.” Lila slapped her hands onto her thighs with a loud clap. “Don’t let them do this to you.”
“I refuse to let my actions ruin their careers and their reputations. Do you have any idea what they’ve been through?
It was my decision to sleep with them. It’s up to me to deal with the consequences.
” I typed out a second message. “How does this sound?” I showed it to Lila, and she grimaced before eventually sighing.
“I wish you’d think this through.” She turned her drink around in her hands, watching me over the rim.
“I’ve never seen you as happy as you were a week ago.
I don’t like the idea of all that going away.
If you won’t tell the police, tell Dante.
He seems like the kind of man who could make this go away. ”
“Yes, I’m sure he could.” But then he’d have to learn that I failed to protect them and I needed their help.
With that single admission, all my professionalism went away.
I hit send on the text and waited. I’d promised to send photo proof of my resignation being emailed.
I’d send it through the main email linked to Elevate’s website, which protected all their private email addresses.
I’d never forgive myself if I let this psycho get in touch with them.
I promised I’d walk away, and I’d keep my word.
Tears fell in a thick wave that curled my shoulders forward. “I hate this, Lila. On the same day, I learn I’m going to be a mother and I lose the most important men in my life. It’s not fair.”
She refrained from making her point that I was feeding into the blackmailer’s plan by giving them up. I could risk it all and fight to keep them, but at what cost?