Chapter 2
If it weren’t impressive enough that Charlie made it to college with no one to support him, he had to stunt on us all by opening a successful book publishing business that has had books hit the New York Times bestseller list. Despite all the odds, he found something that makes him money, which he also loves.
I used to feel the same way, and now I’m envious of him.
Pushing that to the side, I walk into his building and make my way up to the floor housing his offices.
It’s the first time I’m seeing him since our last attempt at a relationship fell apart.
I don’t know why I started texting him back or what I’m doing here now, but I know it’s probably going to lead to sex.
I would feel ashamed, but it’s been a while.
His long-time assistant Rowan is sitting right outside his door. Her wide smile peels across her face when she looks up from her computer.
“Hey, hunny bunny,” I say, walking up.
She loses the battle not to stand up and hug me.
“You’re back!” she yells while throwing herself into my arms.
“For now,” I say, laughing.
She steps back and makes her way to her chair.
Pulling her long brown hair into a ponytail, her carved cheeks and beautiful green eyes shine even more.
Our eye color is one of the things we initially bonded over.
The rarity of our green instantly made us connect.
Our curves were the second thing, both too big to fit the norm.
Her eccentric fashion made me quick to admire her personality.
“He’s in a meeting, but should be done in a few minutes.”
I nod and slide onto the edge of her desk. She leans back in her chair and rests her folded hands on her belly.
“You still haven’t shown him your book, have you?” I ask.
She doesn’t even need to say no, based on the look on her face. Her muscles freeze in this slight frown, eyes losing that glint that speaks to her vivacious temperament.
“I will one day,” she lies while shrugging the whole thing off.
I wish she would do it. Talented beyond measure, her hidden manuscripts should be turned into the books she loves to read.
It’s the whole reason she applied for this job.
It was her way into the publishing industry, and hopefully her chance to make connections.
Now that she has them, she has no excuse.
“I’ve read them, your other friends have read them. Lady, what is stopping you from letting Charlie read them?”
“We can’t all be as brave as you.” Her pale cheeks flush with a slight pink as she sinks further into the chair.
If only my bravado were enough to make me satisfied in my life. We have in common the fact that we both don’t know how to take the next step. If anything, I’m no better off than she is.
“Are you going back to Boston for Christmas?” I ask, leaving her be.
“Yeah, first time since I started here. I know my family will be really happy to see me. What are you doing?” Enthralled by this new topic, she sits up and places her hands on her desk.
“My dad has to work, so I’ll probably just watch some Christmas movies and eat sugar cookies.” Not a bad night if you ask me.
Since my nana passed away, I don’t really have any other options but Farrah, and I don’t want to be a fifth wheel to her and her parents.
“No! Come with me to Boston. You can’t spend Christmas alone.” Her eyes brighten.
“Nah, the tickets are probably crazy last minute, and I can’t impose like that.”
“The ticket is like a hundred and fifty dollars right now, and we would love to have you. Honestly, my parents live to host, and my siblings would be so happy to meet someone I know from San Francisco.”
The idea of meeting her five siblings seems more daunting than moving to an entirely new city did.
Having grown up in a small family, I can’t even imagine what dinner with that many people would look like.
Not to mention the fact that I haven’t spent a Christmas with white people since I was twelve.
What kind of trauma will that bring up, being surrounded by a reflection of people who rejected me?
I trust Rowan. She has shown through years of friendship that she is an ally. But should I take the risk and expect the same thing from her family? I just don’t want to subject myself to any scrutiny that might be triggering. And will I have the support I need if I do?
“I don’t know.”
“Please come. I promise you’ll have a good time, not to mention I have three hot, single brothers.”
The laugh that flies out of my mouth is involuntary as yet another person is looking to set me up.
“Don’t tell me you don’t think I should be with Charlie, too?”
“All I’ll say is that before you started seeing each other, I was diverting women like it was in my job description. I don’t think he is ready to settle down.”
“I don’t date white guys,” I say, not at all concerned to offend her. If she knew anything about my past, she would understand why.
“Valid, but I promise my brothers are the exception.”
Before I can respond, the door opens and a man walks out. Charlie follows behind and stops in his tracks when he sees me. I look him up and down, taking in his lean form that still fills out his fitted suit. The dark green of the blazer sings against his rich brown skin.
“You’re early,” he says, showing me his beautiful white teeth.
“Yeah, I wanted to catch up with Rowan first.”
He nods in her direction.
“You have an hour until your next meeting,” she says with a wink.
I would blush, but I’m not ashamed. It doesn’t stop her smirk as she watches us walk into his office.
He closes the door and instantly pulls me into his arms. Before his lips can land on mine, I hold up my hand.
“You asked to talk. We need to do that before we start getting it in.”
Letting me go, he moves over to the couch and gestures for me to join him. Landing on his lap, I try to ignore his arousal pressing against me.
“We have been on-and-off for the last two years. I’m tired of that. I want things to get real between us,” he says.
The insinuation that we are fake rubs me the wrong way.
The entirety of our lack of seriousness is on him.
Time and time again, I give him a chance to prove himself, and almost every chance, he shows me he can’t be a mature adult.
Then I take a couple of months to cool off before the cycle begins again.
I’m pretty sure I’m still here because I don’t want to start something else.
At this moment, I don’t even know if I want anything with anyone.
I sigh and adjust on his lap. “Charlie—”
“Before you say anything, let me state my case.”
I nod, and he continues.
“I’ve been doing the work. I know in the past I’ve acted childish, and you have felt like you had to raise me, but that’s done. I didn’t have a father to teach me how to be a man, and my grandma tried her best, but now I am one, and it’s up to me to be one, and I want to be your man.”
I rub my hand across his fade and down his face until I’m holding his cheek. His beard, smoothed and trimmed, feels nice against my hand. The way he leans into my touch makes that part of me that loves him sing a little louder.
This declaration sounds more serious than the others have, and it makes me want to give in, but time has taught me better. He is always capable of making me feel good, but he rarely knows how to handle it when things aren’t easy, and long distance isn’t easy.
“Why don’t we start by seeing each other? Just take things slow and build up to that. I want you to be my man, Charlie, but I also want to make sure we’re not entering into something that isn’t going to be worth my time.”
“Ouch. Not worth your time?”
“Yes. It may sound harsh, but I’ve already given a lot to this, and I’ll be damned if I give any more than I feel ready to.”
Maybe it’s because I don’t need him, but cutting him off each time isn’t as painful as it should be, and that is honestly why I still entertain this.
It’s always better to deal with the devil you know.
But if I’m really going to try and give him more than I have been, I need to know that it will lead to something fulfilling.
“Fair enough. I’ll put in the work.”
“Good. Now, about that kiss.”
He leans forward and plants his full lips on mine.
The fire that sinks in between my legs is instant.
I can’t help but moan against his mouth as I shift so that I can rest my thighs on either side of him.
Now I can feel the full length of him pressed against me, turning me on even more.
Grinding up, he searches for that friction that will offer some release, but the pants we are both wearing stop that from happening.
Solving that issue quickly, it’s not long before he has me bent over his desk, with my underwear around my ankles. My face presses into the wood, while my hands grip the other side.
“This ass, Monty,” he says, before offering a light spank.
I arch back, inviting him to do another.
Each one that follows is harder than the last, and I know my light cheeks are a little red.
The image makes me even wetter, making it easy for him to slide two fingers in.
He pumps them slowly, building the frenzy inside of me.
When his thumb goes to my clit I buck up again in desperation.
Remembering who’s outside that door pushes me to bite my lips in an effort not to cry out, but I can’t stop the moans.
“You’re so tight, I can feel you clenching with just this in you. Are you going to be able to take me?” He finger fucks me harder, the thrusts faster and deeper.
“Yes,” I whisper, the breath from my lungs stolen by my muffled groans.
“I can’t hear you, baby. Can you take this dick?”
“Yes,” I say again, a little louder.
“You better, because I’m fucking you either way.”
I hear the quiet ripping of the condom wrapper before he enters me quickly and roughly. Pulling my head up by my braids, he uses it as an anchor to push all the way in.
This time I can’t hold back the gasp that comes from him stretching me to my limits. When his hand comes down on my ass again at the same time as he yanks my hair, it’s enough to send me over the edge. I know Rowan hears me as my orgasm pours out of my mouth in one guttural cry.
Not finished, he fucks me through my climax, quickly bringing me to another.
“Not yet, you’re not allowed to come yet.” He grunts, pulling out to the tip and slamming back in, causing the desk to shift.
I grip the edge tighter, trying to breathe through my attempt at holding out. Caring little for my suffering, he pumps slowly, letting himself really enjoy being in me.
“Charlie,” I beg, looking at him over my shoulder.
“Not yet.” He pulls all the way out this time, then slams in again.
“Charlie!”
“Not yet.” Moving his hand to grip the back of my neck, he picks up speed, his rhythm becoming erratic.
Close to the point of tears, I have no idea how much longer I can do this.
“Oh my god, Charlie.”
He finally says the words I’ve been dying to hear.
“Come for me.”
I unravel underneath him, bucking and shaking as my orgasm overrides all my senses.
I feel him give one final push before he folds over my body, shaking alongside me.
I can’t help but convulse as he stays inside, pumping out the last of his cum.
When he does get out, the suction of his exit allows me the freedom to crumple.
Kissing my neck, he gives my ass one more spank before stepping back.
In forty-five minutes, he reminded me why I haven’t ended things yet. On shaky legs, I pull everything back on in time for Rowan to knock on the door. Once allowed in, her smirk from earlier is even bigger.
“Text me your flight details,” I say while walking past her.
I don’t look back at Charlie, scared of what might happen if I do. After being dick downed like that, I might agree to marry the man. So, I focus on wobbling out, and the part of me that knows better than to have hope.