Chapter 15 #2
“I’m really sorry. I can get pretty competitive, but I shouldn’t have been so cold to you.”
I touch her shoulder to cut her off. She doesn’t move away. “Hey, I get it. Thanks for explaining,” I say. “For the record, I just wanted to talk to you guys about ghosts.”
Vendredi clutches my forearm and collapses against my side in dramatic fashion. “Oh my God, that girl can go on about ghosts. I haven’t told her I don’t believe in them. I think it’d ruin our alliance.”
“What, not even a little bit? How can you be sure they’re not real?”
Vendredi’s more than happy to indulge me in a debate about the existence of the paranormal.
We argue about it, and the tingle of adrenaline from going back and forth with someone who’s just as combative as I am is nearly euphoric, even if I don’t really care about what does or doesn’t go bump in the night.
She ultimately gives up when I won’t budge on orbs.
“Ugh. You’re as bad as Beck,” Vendredi teases. We’ve scooted out farther away from the circle by this point and can talk a bit more freely. She bumps my shoulder with hers. “You should join us for breakfast tomorrow. Dean, too, if he wants.”
I swallow my grin so it doesn’t scare her off. “Cool, that sounds nice.”
It’s not long before the day’s events start wearing on us all, and everybody heads back to their shelters. Soon, it’s just me, Dean, and the dwindling embers of our fire.
“Uh,” Dean says. He tugs on the collar of his sweater. “I guess teaming up means sharing a shelter, too.”
This is not how I pictured my first-ever sleepover with someone besides Amelia.
“We’ll make it work.” My voice is higher than usual. “We’ll just… yeah.”
It’s not very roomy inside the shelter, and with the stick in the center supporting it, it leaves even less room for us to arrange our bodies. We line the ground with pine needles, both to help insulate our body heat and to prolong the inevitable. But, eventually, we have to go to bed.
“There’s no way you’ll fit—”
“Get your foot out of my face—”
“Your face is on my foot!”
“Just—” I sigh and sit up, nearly hitting my head on the tarp roof. “Okay. Lie down like this, along this wall, and I’ll lie next to the other one.”
But with only one weather blanket between us and the temperature rapidly dropping, I find myself closer to Dean than I would have liked.
We’re packed like sardines, stiff on our back, with our hands folded on top of our stomachs to avoid grazing each other.
This is too intimate for comfort. A thought occurs to me then.
“You don’t have a girlfriend, do you?” I blurt.
There’s silence in the dark tent. Then, “Are you calling me a virgin, or is that a genuine question?”
“I’m asking for real, dickweed. What if your girlfriend isn’t comfortable with you sharing a bed with someone else?” I start sitting up. “Maybe we should—”
Dean fumbles in the pitch-black and grabs my shoulder, pushing me back down. “First off, the pine needles digging into my back hardly qualify as a bed. Second off, it’s fine, just lie down.”
“I don’t want to be rude—”
“Seyoon?” Dean says, voice strained. “I don’t have a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. Or anybody who would throw a fit about me sleeping under the same tarp as you. Satisfied?”
I relax. “Okay. Just checking.”
“Why? Do you have a boyfriend or something?”
Emmanuel Wiley, the captain of the boy’s swim team, and I dated for three and a half months last year, but that was more because we could carpool to the aquatic center together than kismet. And there was that one awkward double date that Amelia begged me to go on with her. But besides that, no.
I roll over and give Dean a shit-eating grin even though I know he can’t see. “Wouldn’t you like to know, lover boy.”
“Oh God, shut up. There’s my answer.”
Dean shuffles around. But I can’t go to sleep. The ground is hard and cold, and I’m not used to sleeping with someone. Next to someone. I can’t even see the night sky with the tarp blocking the view.
“I wish we could stargaze right now,” I say, just to say something. “I love stargazing.”
“Just picture a black sky with little specks in your mind.”
I twiddle my thumb and let the silence sit for almost a full minute before more word vomit spews up. “I think we’re in good shape, points-wise. We foraged more than anyone, and besides us, only Carter was able to get a fire going.”
“Yeah.” Dean hums. “Still can’t believe I made a fire.”
“I knew you could.”
A pause. “Did you really?”
“Yeah. You’re smart. And you had an excellent, knowledgeable teacher.”
“Watching you really did help,” Dean says quietly. “Thank you for still wanting to team up with me after I was an asshole.”
The tent feels, somehow, even smaller. “I’m an asshole, too, sometimes.”
“Well, yes.”
“Hey.”
Dean snickers, and I relax. “We make a better team than I thought we would.”
“Couple of assholes.”
“That could be our team name. Would be better than Seydean.”
I kick his calf, and Dean curses. Enough time passes that I think he’s fallen asleep, but then he asks an unexpected question.
“You said you’re from Portland, right?”
“Born and raised.”
“Do you like it there?”
“Love it. Fingers crossed I get to stay in the area for college.”
He rolls to face me unexpectedly. I turn my head, blinking until my eyes can distinguish his darkened silhouette from the rest of the shadows.
I swallow a gasp when I realize how close he’s settled.
Only inches separate our noses. The gentle heat radiating from his body, nearly touching mine, feels like sitting in the sun on a bright day. Has it always been so hot in here?
“What school?” he says.
“University of Oregon. They have the best track team, plus in-state tuition is cheaper. Why do you ask?”
“I have a scholarship to Reed College,” he says. “If I win, I’m going to move out there with my sister. Was wondering if it’s a nice place to live.”
I laugh through an exhale. “It’s great. Tell you what—when I win, I’ll fly you and your sister out to come visit and see for yourself.”
I can hear Dean shake his head rather than see it. He rolls away to face the wall, and I’m suddenly ten degrees colder. “Cocky.”
“I think you mean confident.”
“Go to sleep, Seyoon.”