Chapter 17
Later that night, Braden and I met up at a restaurant on Sunset Boulevard, one where I knew the press would hang out hoping to catch a glimpse of a celebrity in a public place. Still, most of them would probably be at the after-parties, trying to score more interviews.
Because Ferocity didn’t hold its own party and Tom was happy with what Jeff and I had gotten over the evening, he was okay with me going to dinner instead of engaging in more hobnobbing.
After all, he too had heard and seen Braden’s public declaration.
The only thing he asked me to do was tell Braden they would be sharing the video of his confession on our website and social channels.
The restaurant had lots of windows, which was probably why the paparazzi got good photos all the time, but the interior felt a little stark—all hard angles, lots of black and gold, and bright light.
The music playing overhead was pop, and the song filling the space as we walked through the restaurant was one I’d heard before but didn’t know.
When we were finally seated at our table, surprisingly still busy for this time of the evening, the first thing I said to Braden was to give him a heads up about what Tom had said.
“Just so you know, my editor will be sharing the video of you asking me on a date. He might have already done it for all I know.”
“That was the plan,” he said, his smile the biggest I’d seen in years.
The plan? So not only had he wanted me to know how he felt, he’d intentionally done it publicly?
My heart felt like it was growing beneath my breastbone.
I couldn’t help but return his warm smile, and we gazed into each other’s eyes for a few seconds, settling in and really feeling what this all meant.
It felt like something akin to victory…but that wasn’t quite it.
Finally, I said, “Congratulations on the win, by the way. You guys deserve it.”
“I won something way better tonight.”
Why did my cheeks feel warm?
The server came back to our table with two glasses of wine and asked if we were ready to order. Even though it wasn’t an Italian restaurant, Braden managed to find rigatoni on the menu. And I discovered a salad that looked amazing. But even after not eating for hours, I wasn’t hungry.
Still, I was wide awake.
And I had to metaphorically pinch myself. “You sure this is what you want to do? Go public?”
“Yeah,” he said, taking a small sip of wine.
“I should have done it a long time ago. I was just…trying to protect my heart when it needed protection from myself, not you. But here’s the thing: the press is always gonna be there.
Do I get recognized everywhere I go? No.
But I’ve grown used to the idea that it’s always possible, any time I step outside.
It wasn’t so bad before the, um, before Dani left me, but that doesn’t matter.
I’m in a job in the public eye and there’s no hiding. ”
Maybe it was the nosy reporter in me, but I had to ask. “So why now? What changed your mind?”
When Braden set down his wine glass, his brown eyes seemed to peer into the depths of my soul and I nearly shivered.
But his face was smooth and calm, as placid as a lake on a late spring morning.
“Because…you were shutting me out. And I get it. I’d already done that to you—but I realized that I wanted you in my life.
I never gave us a chance because I didn’t think I could trust myself…
that I couldn’t trust what I felt or what seemed real from you. ”
I just nodded. Part of me wanted to assure him that I wasn’t Dani, but I actually hoped deep in my heart that I would have realized sooner than she did that it wasn’t working. So I just focused on us. “But you know it now?”
“I hope I do. You feel like the perfect woman for me, Rox…and if I don’t give us a try, I’ll regret it the rest of my days—way more than what happened with Dani.”
Whoa. Okay. He was all in. Reaching across the table, I touched his hand and he took mine in his.
“I’m glad you did. I, uh, I spent a few years letting my past define me.
You know, rebelling when I no longer needed to—and then pretending I hadn’t changed much when I’d go back home for stuff.
I’d even avoid going when I could. But…I am who I am and I love who I am, and I don’t want the past to keep me in shackles anymore. ”
“That’s exactly how I feel.” Our server brought a plate of onion rings and when Braden saw that I was getting ready to tell her that wasn’t ours, he said, “I ordered them as an appetizer. Help yourself.”
I must have missed it when I’d been deciding between three different salads, under pressure because I’d needed to give her an answer when Braden was done. “I’m not terribly hungry. But they do look good.”
Picking one up off the plate, he held it out to me. “Just a bite. I’ll eat the rest.”
I took a bite, amazed at how comfortable Braden felt. Chewing, I nodded that it tasted great while Braden took a big bite of it. “That’s really good.”
“Have one,” he said, indicating the plate.
Now I noticed that there were a couple of dipping sauces as well, so I just took the smallest onion ring on the dish. “Thanks.”
“So…I know a lot of people think I hate Dani. I don’t.
And I probably said this to you before, but I want to make it clear: what she did hurt me…
nearly crippled me emotionally, but as I look back, I think what she did must have taken a lot of courage.
It would have been way easier to have just gone through with the wedding and suffered until she decided she couldn’t take it anymore—and divorcing me later might have hurt worse. ”
After he was silent for a bit, I said, “You really have no way of knowing.”
“Yeah, exactly. So even though I would have appreciated her honesty much earlier, I can’t fault her for recognizing how she felt and doing what she did. And I see how the press treats her sometimes, like she’s the evilest person in the world. I don’t know if she’ll ever live it down.”
Wiping my fingers on a napkin, I said, “You guys keep making music like you do, and that’ll go a long way towards putting that all in the past.”
This time it was Braden who reached across the table, taking my hand in his again. It felt warm and strong as it held mine, helping me believe that this was really happening. “Being with you will help too. Letting people know that I’ve really gotten over it will help them let go.”
It made me wonder…would I be a rebound girl or were we the real deal? Regardless, he was giving me exactly what I’d asked for and so, after we were done eating and Braden paid for the meal, I asked him if he would like to spend the night at my place.
Grinning, he said, “I was gonna invite you to my hotel room. It’s pretty nice—but any time I can avoid ‘em, I will. The beds usually leave a lot to be desired.”
Just so we were completely clear, I said, “I don’t think you’ll be getting much sleep tonight.”
Raising his eyebrows, he lowered his voice. “I’m thinking that has nothing to do with the bed.”
“You’re thinking right.” And we got in my Charger and I made quick time back to my apartment.
Barely in the door, the passion we’d held back for so long all but exploded.
I untied the tie around Braden’s neck while he pushed me against the door in my tiny living room, and when our tongues met, it was like an explosion in my brain of fireworks and unbridled electricity, sending sparks through every nerve in my body.
As I pushed off Braden’s suit jacket, he did the same with mine, and once mine was off, he moved his lips to my shoulder, enticed by the bare skin.
Meanwhile, my fingers removed one button, followed by another and another, until I touched the bare skin on his belly.
It wasn’t until then that I really started to feel everything in my body—how my breath had quickened, how my fingers were trembling with anticipation and my muscles had grown taut like the strings of Braden’s bass.
My panties were wet, more than I’d ever noticed before with other men.
But, then again, I’d never wanted anyone more than this man in front of me. And I didn’t want him just for this moment. I’d glimpsed inside his soul and known that he was the right man for me forever.
When Braden’s lips moved back to mine, we kissed again, our mouths and tongues getting to know each other, igniting a fire inside.
Then Braden sucked on my lower lip and I opened my eyes, heated up past the boiling point.
My fingers had curled against his back underneath the cotton shirt, my short nails digging into his back.
When he returned my gaze, his eyes nearly made my knees buckle, the way the ebony pupils had nearly devoured the brown irises, leaving a dark expanse in their wake—and they called to me, beckoned me to give myself to him, my whole self, and I gladly would.
As I pulled off his shirt, he wound his strong hands through my hair, and I relished the sensation of his touch against my scalp. With a tiny moan, I allowed my head to be moved by him as he deepened his kiss and my hands clung to his back again as if barely holding on.
Wrapping my index fingers around the belt loops of his slacks, I tugged, urging him to follow me to my bedroom.
It was too late to be concerned that the curtains in the living room were wide open, but I’d remedy that in the bedroom.
I always had the sheer curtains covering the window to let the sunlight in while giving me some privacy, but I was going to pull the blackout ones closed.
We might have been okay with our relationship going public, but some things were meant to always be private.
When we got to my room, I flipped on the light switch and said, “One sec.” Darting to the window, I pulled the curtains closed and, when I turned back around, Braden was walking toward me.