Shadow (The Boys of Chapel Crest #6)

1. Bryce

brYCE

“W hat am I doing?” I stared at my reflection in my bathroom mirror. Dark circles ringed my hazel eyes. My copper curls were a mess. I sighed, pushed away from the sink, and tugged a shirt over my head.

Way too much shit had happened the last few days. I’d gotten my hands dirtier than I wanted. The terrifying part about it all was it didn’t bother me. I felt nothing akin to regret or guilt. In fact, I was elated at the pricks in this place becoming part of the indigenous fauna after their demise.

Seeing Sirena finally embrace her inner monster had been enlightening. It had turned me on in ways I never thought possible. She was already the center of my fucked-up universe, but seeing her covered in her enemy’s blood, the piece of shit who had hurt her, had her sitting at the top of everything in my life.

But she wasn’t mine, and that really sucked.

I kept replaying her kiss in my head. I’d slept that night without bothering to wash off the bloody handprint on my face she’d left behind.

I’d have tattooed it onto my face if I didn’t think I’d have a lot of explaining to do over it. Didn’t need my crazy shining through so much. My job was to watch. Observe. Report. Never to be myself.

Fuck it all, though, really. I was tired of playing these twisted games with the sick people in this world.

I was here because I was different. A real treasure, as Everett had once put it.

My jaw ached from how hard I clenched my teeth at the thought of that monster. If Chapel Crest was hell, Everett Church was the devil. In fact, he was worse than the devil.

His hands on my body lived rent-free in my head, and not in a good way. He’d never fucked me. He’d just touched. Let his monsters touch. I’d been ashamed of it all for years.

It served me right. At least that’s what my father said. It’s what I got for being different.

In a way, Everett had saved me from my father’s wrath. I still wasn’t going to thank him because now I lived in a deeper pit of hell. At least she was here with me, though.

Sirena.

My sweet cupcake.

The knocking on my door had me yanked from my brooding thoughts. Groaning, I went to it and pulled it open to find Mirage standing at the threshold in his white rabbit mask, a bunch of carrots in his hands.

“Got enough?” I asked, stepping aside as he came into the room.

He shoved the carrots against my chest. Dirt was scattered onto my clean floor, making me curl my lip in irritation. I’d only just swept that damn place.

“Here’s the deal,” he started without much of a greeting. “You’re taking that cooking class with Sister Fern, right?”

“Baking,” I corrected him. “And yeah. Why?”

“Here are some carrots. Make me carrot cupcakes.”

I scoffed at him and shoved his carrots back at him. “Make them yourself.”

He pushed them back at me. “Make my fucking cupcakes. Asylum has been bitching about my carrot. Says it makes me look like a freak. He wants me to drop my mask, too.” He sighed and flopped onto the edge of my bed. “Says I’ll blend better without it all. Man, I’ve been blending for too long. I just want to be myself.” His crystal blue eyes locked on me from beneath his mask, the sadness evident.

I placed his carrots on my dresser before going to the bed and sitting next to him.

“Fine. I’ll make the cupcakes, but really, it’s bad to be eating too many carrots. Turns you orange or something.”

He nodded. “They say we are what we eat. I’ll become a carrot.”

I chuckled at him. “I’m surprised Asylum wants you to blend in.”

He rolled his eyes. “I get why. Doesn’t mean I want to. I’m just tired of the lies and shit. I just want to be myself,” he repeated softly.

“I know how that is,” I mumbled.

We both went quiet for a beat.

“Have you seen Sirena?” I ventured.

He glanced over at me. “I have. Just came from there.”

“How is she?”

“Good.” He smiled, a faraway look on his face. “Beautiful. Fucking perfect. My little monster. ”

I swallowed at his words. She’d completely lost it in the woods on Adam. Stabbing him until he was nearly in pieces had really been something to witness. Again with that sick satisfaction I felt regarding the matter. He deserved it and more.

At least one of his personalities had.

Poor bastard.

I shook the thought away.

Fuck him. Truly.

“Is she talking?” I asked.

“Not in the conventional sense,” he answered. “Selective mutism is really hot, don’t you think?”

I scoffed at that. “Based on how it happened, should you really be endorsing it?”

He frowned. “You’re right. That makes me shitty, doesn’t it?”

I shrugged. “To be fair, I think we’re all shitty in some way or another.”

“I regret it, you know? Not being there to prevent it. For trusting…” His voice trailed off. “It’s in the past. It doesn’t matter now. Things are better. Asylum and I… we’re better. Mostly. We have a symbiotic relationship now. She’s here with us and forgives our atrocities. That’s all that matters.”

I nodded. If that’s what he chose to believe, it wasn’t my place to deter him from it.

“How is Sin?”

Mirage was quiet for a moment before he adjusted his rabbit mask. “He’s still in the facility. Collapsed lung. He’s pretty messed up. Church won’t let Sirena inside the facility, so they’ve been rotating out on staying with him. They all went today. It was why I got to hang out with her at the house.”

“How was that?” I swallowed hard.

He smiled. “Incredible. We danced. Watched a movie. She painted a portrait of me.”

“You didn’t touch her?” I tensed, waiting for his answer.

“Well, I had to touch her to dance.” He shot a smirk at me.

“You know what I mean, Seth.”

He chuckled. “I do know. And no, I didn’t. I told you before, it’s not our time. Soon. You’re up to bat next.”

“Yeah, right,” I muttered. “You know as well as I do that I don’t fit in with the watchers.”

“You’d be surprised, Shadow .” He clapped me on the shoulder and stood. “Now, where are we on the carrot cupcakes?”

“I’ll make them, but you owe me.”

“And I’ll pay.” He grinned at me and went to my door. “You’ll love the payment. Forever.”

He didn’t wait for my reply. He simply pulled the door open, did a little rabbit bounce, and left me sitting there on the bed.

In the silence, I brought my phone out of my pocket and looked down at the picture of Sirena I had on it. I’d taken a selfie of us when she’d first arrived, and we’d agreed to be together to keep her off the radar. That had sure backfired.

Her colorful eyes stared back in the photo, with so much life in them. Quiet life, like her quiet rage.

I smiled down at the image.

“I’m trusting the process,” I said softly, really hoping it was worth it.

But all things regarding Sirena were worth it. I only hoped she’d be able to accept the monster I kept hidden. The watchers had nothing on me.