28. Sin
SIN
S he comes so pretty for me.
I stared down at the images on my phone. Her legs spread, a look of pure ecstasy on her face as Bryce ate her pussy. As he fingered her. Kissed her. Made her come for him.
I let out a soft cry and wiped at my eyes.
I wanted this. I wanted to hurt and feel the pain at knowing another man was doing my fucking job.
Getting up from my bed, I surged forward and put my fist through my wall and sobbed softly.
This was my life.
My girl was gone. The guys were upset, even though they didn’t say anything about it to me. I wasn’t an idiot, though. I knew they blamed me for all this shit. It was me, after all, who told her I needed space. That I needed to break up.
Fuck, I hadn’t wanted any of those things.
I only wanted to go back in time and smother fucking Adam in his bed before he had the chace to fuck our lives up.
My knuckles bled, but I didn’t give a fuck.
Instead, I grabbed the knife I’d gotten back after the Adam ordeal and cut her name into my skin again. This time, on my neck. Just deep enough that I’d scar perfectly without it killing me. Although the way I was feeling now, I’d be fine with dying.
I was dead without her anyway.
I didn’t realize how much life she brought to me until I’d broken it off.
I stumbled into my bathroom and threw up in the toilet, my blood dripping on everything.
“Sirena,” I choked out as I slid back against the wall and cradled my head in my hands. “Siren….”
I’d drunk way too much tonight. I was still high as fuck.
Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back, the tears silently flowing.
Fuck it.
Tomorrow was another day. I had gotten what I wanted.
Bryce had fucking balls.
He really was more like us than he let on.
* * *
I awoke with a groan, Church’s boot nudging me.
“Get up,” he said in a gravelly voice.
“What’s wrong?” I mumbled amid another groan. Sleeping on the bathroom floor had been a terrible idea.
“Every-fucking-thing. Cady is pregnant.”
I shoved off the floor, sat up, and rubbed my eyes. I couldn’t have heard him correctly.
“What?” I asked.
“Cadence is pregnant. I made her take a test this morning. It’s positive. You need to come to the living room. Everyone is waiting. Don’t make me tell you again.” He turned to leave.
“Dante,” I choked out.
He paused and looked back at me.
“What about Sirena?” I whispered, my voice shaking. “I-I can’t?—”
“Just come to the living room, Sinclair. We’ll talk.” He left me there, closing the door behind him.
I sat stunned for a moment before staggering to my feet. Quickly, I brushed my teeth and washed my face before going back to my bedroom and tugging a dark t-shirt over my head. I changed my pants and went to the living room, my heart in my throat, to find the guys waiting for me.
And Cady.
She was hunched over, sobbing softly on the couch next to Ashes. He rubbed her back with one hand, and his other hand held his lighter. He was rapidly flipping the lid in a succession of fives.
Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Flame. Again.
I hadn’t faced Cady since the night shit happened. I avoided her in all things. It was one of the reasons I’d started using my window as an entry and escape. I only came out to eat in the middle of the night. I didn’t hang out with the guys. The party they’d thrown was a feeble way to get me back into the world. I went because I knew I had to look like I was making progress.
I wasn’t though.
I was so fucking sick from everything.
Thre stress was becoming unbearable, and fuck, I missed my Siren.
But I had to do this. I’d done something in a no-win situation, and there were consequences to those actions.
I went straight to Cady and kneeled in front of her before drawing her into my arms. She let go, her sobs growing louder as she buried her face in my chest, her fingers twisted in my shirt.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to her. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
She said nothing and continued to cry. I joined her because I was just as broken.
No one said anything for a long time. Finally, I broke away from her and tilted her face up to look at me.
“We’re going to be OK,” I said softly. “I-we have to be.”
She nodded, a steady stream of silent tears cascading down her cheeks.
“I’ll be at your side with whatever choice you make regarding the baby. OK? If you want to keep it, I’ll be there. If you don’t, I’ll still be there. I-I won’t leave. Whatever you need.”
“Sirena?” she choked out. “I-I have to tell Rina. I don’t want to hurt her?—”
“Shh.” I cradled her face. “It’s OK. I promise.” My voice cracked. It definitely wasn’t fucking OK. Everything was FUCKED.
“It’s not. It’s not,” She wept again, and I pulled her back to me. I finally cast a look at Ashes, who stared back at me with something akin to pity and fear on his face. Then to Stitches, who wore a stony expression that matched Church’s.
There was a knock on the front door. I looked at Church, who inclined his head to me.
“She deserves to know.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Stitches got up to answer the door, leaving me to hold a crying Cady.
“Now?” I whispered to him. “I…”
“ Now , Sinclair. I want our family back, and I’m getting tired of the bullshit. I’m done sitting back and waiting. You need to get your shit together. We’re all here without Sirena because you needed time. You’ve had it. Both of you and Cady have. It’s time to join the real fucking world. Whatever this is.” He gestured between Cady and me. “We’ll sort this, but you’re going to get on your fucking knees and beg Sirena to take your ass back, because she won’t come back if it’s not all of us, and that’s not fucking acceptable.”
I swallowed hard and breathed out as the door opened and Asylum stepped into the living room with Sirena and Bryce.
“Hello, Watchers,” Asylum greeted us solemnly. There wasn’t a bone in my body that didn’t think he already knew.
Sirena’s eyes took in the sight of me holding Cady, and she immediately rushed to us, kneeling beside me. I released Cady, and she went to Sirena, clinging to her in much the same way she had clung to me.
“Rina,” Cady choked out. “R-Rina.”
Sirena held her as she cried. I didn’t move. I didn’t even know where to go. I felt stunned and confused. Sick.
I definitely felt sick.
Sirena finally broke away from her and signed frantically to Bryce and Asylum. I frowned at it because I didn’t know fuck all about signing. I did recall Ashes coming in to show me an app to learn on, but I’d been so out of my head I hadn’t paid attention.
“Sirena,” Church called out.
She snapped her attention to him.
“She wants to know what’s going on,” Bryce said as he moved to sit on the couch next to Asylum.
I couldn’t get the fucking image out of my head of him with his head buried deep within her pussy.
I rubbed my eyes, willing the image to go away.
I liked Bryce enough. I just didn’t like myself, so it was fucked.
“Sin. Tell her,” Church said.
Sirena looked at me with her big, colorful eyes, and I broke all over again.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” I managed to say. Ashes rubbed Cady’s back as she went to curl into herself again.
“I-I,” I stammered, staring at her pretty face. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t say the words. They were choking me. She was the one I wanted. I wanted everything with her. Even a fucking house with a white picket fence and our little boy running around the front yard, terrorizing the neighborhood. It was supposed to be her. Not Cady. Never fucking Cady.
“I’m pregnant,” Cady whispered, her voice trembling.
Sirena didn’t move an inch. Nothing. It was like she completely checked out. She didn’t even blink.
“Angel?” Stitches called out, noticing her reaction.
“Siren?” I made to reach for her, but she seemed to snap out of it. She got to her feet slowly, walked to the door, and left.
We all stared after her in silence, stunned.
My heart was shattering, though. Panic rose within me. Fuck, she needed someone. I had to go to her. I needed to apologize. To tell her I wanted her, and things would be better. That I’d do whatever she wanted me to do?—”
“I’ll handle her, Sinclair,” Asylum said softly as he got to his feet. “Bryce, would you please make sure all the weapons are put away. We may have a problem on our hands. Come.”
“I’ll go with you. You guys stay with Sin,” Church said, getting to his feet.
I let out a breath, my lungs and chest screaming at me to do something besides sit in stunned, confused silence.
“Church,” I called out.
“You need to stay here and get shit sorted,” Church said. “I mean it. Don’t make me sort them.”
I swallowed hard, not even knowing what the fuck he even meant by that.
“Hey, it’ll be OK,” Stitches said, moving to sit next to me as Asylum, Church, and Bryce left the house.
“How?” I whispered as I watched Ashes comfort Cady. “How will it be OK?”
“I don’t know,” he mumbled, “but it has to be, so it will be.”
I really hoped he was right. I couldn’t survive anything less.