Chapter 15 #2
“That’s not the way that we should have dealt with that,” Rita says, but she’s not fuming or accusatory. She doesn’t raise her voice.
“At the same time,” Dad says, “how can we tell you that we’re not proud of you for trying to do the right thing and stand up for one of our own?”
Justice toes the ground with his Chucks. “Asshole deserved it.”
“Deserve it or not. You have to learn when to take the high road,” Rita says.
At least Justice has the courage to hold his head high when he apologizes.
He walks over to stand in front of Shadow.
“Sorry. I know that you didn’t want us to make a big deal out of it.
I wasn’t, though. What I really wanted to do was kick that asshole straight in the face.
” Rita makes a strangled sound behind him.
“Yeah, that guy was a fucker for being all rude,” Stone calls from the car. He races over to join his brother, dodging Rita and my dad, who try and get in his way.
Impossibly, Shadow’s lips twitch. “It’s okay, bud. I know you guys meant well. I don’t know if it was the burns or the bike jacket that set him off. I should have worn something different, but I rode here. Thanks for defending me.”
“I know you wouldn’t say anything, but he can’t treat people like that just because they’re different,” Justice says, which earns him another glare from his mom. He doesn’t turn around to see it.
“Sometimes, it’s easier not to,” Shadow admits. “In a way, that is doing something. It’s choosing to just let it slide because it’s not important.”
Stone scrunches up his face and shakes his head. “It does matter. Fuck those guys.”
Rita groans. Dad looks like he wants to try and say something about the language, but honestly, Stone and Justice had to have heard it already.
They’re good boys with filthy mouths, and they’re smart.
They know that their mom manages several night clubs and works with a biker club and that their dad is a full patched-in member.
Nothing is going to change or refine them.
They have hearts of gold but they’re always going to be rough around the edges.
I’d take that option any day.
Of course I’m proud of them.
I’m proud that they could be off doing teenager stuff, not giving a shit about family, but they’ve seen Shadow. They know what he’s going through, and they care. They’re protective of their own. That fills me with a warmth that maybe is a little bit misplaced, but I can’t deny it’s there.
“Sorry we wrecked your evening,” Justice finishes. “We really are.” He ruffles his brother’s hair roughly.
“Yeah,” Stone agrees. “We’re sorry we had to leave.”
The boys turn to my mom, even though she’s basically a total stranger to them, and then to me, and then to their parents. “Sorry everyone.”
“Nah,” Shadow says in that deep, coarse tone. His hands are right there, hanging at his sides. I want to grasp one and curl it into mine so badly that I have to grab hold of my purse just to keep myself from doing it. “You didn’t wreck anything.
“Burgers and fries?” Shadow asks them which draws a full groan from my dad, who probably doesn’t think that rewarding the boys for getting us turfed is a good thing. “I haven’t eaten all day and I’m starved. That sounds like a great idea.”
Mom’s been quiet all this time, standing at my side, but she points across the street now. “There’s a place that looks decent.”
Sure enough, a diner style restaurant with a big parking lot jammed full and a huge billboard that boasts ‘Seattle’s Best Milkshakes’ sits not so quiet and unassuming.
There are several empty picnic tables outside. Shadow eyes them up as we walk over. The boys chatter loudly about what they’d like to get—ranging from eight milkshakes each to an extra-large pizza, six burgers, and several orders of chili fries.
“What if they don’t have chili fries?” Stone asks.
His brother falls silent for a moment as we make it across the street and onto the sidewalk. “I don’t know. Probably onion rings then. They’d have those wouldn’t they?”
Rita just sighs and glances helplessly at my dad. Dad tries to hide a grin, but he sucks at it. Mom is quiet again, falling into step beside me, and I do all that I can to stop myself from reaching for Shadow, who is an equally silent pillar at my other shoulder.
Dad points immediately to two of the empty picnic tables lining the small grassy strip at the side of the diner where the parking lot ends. “I’m going to go in and order for you both. You can sit out here and keep your mom company. Please.”
Rita slides onto one side of the picnic table and pats the seats to her right and left.
“Best company I’ll ever have.” She might look like a bit rough around the edges herself, with heavy eyeliner, bleach-blonde hair, tight jeans, black tank top and a black leather jacket with tassels on the back, but she’s one of those beautiful women I’ve ever known.
Her soul has a way of shining through immediately.
The boys aren’t the typical teenagers who are too old and big to sit with their mom. They adore Rita. They slip in beside her without complaint.
I glide onto the bench of the other empty table and get out my phone. I have the menu up for the place in no time. “Want me to get everyone’s order for you and text it? There’s probably a line in there.”
“That would be great.” Dad gives me a relieved smile. “Thanks.”
Mom sits down to my right while Shadow walks around and sits across from me. I pretend to be absorbed reading the menu out loud for all of us, but really, I’m trying to estimate what the chances are that I could nudge Shadow’s foot with my own under the table and have no one notice.
I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.
Like I want to be with them constantly, and every moment spent apart is painful, and then when I am with them, I want us close.
Touching. Fuck, who am I kidding? I want to crawl into Shadow’s lap right now and kiss him until we’re both breathless.
I want him to pick me up and put me on the back of his bike and ride us straight to somewhere completely private where I can spend the rest of the night worshipping his body and giving him my own.
Justice and Stone soon interrupt my thoughts, thankfully, before I melt down right at the table, or all my thoughts start showing up on my face.
“Want me to write everything down for you?” Mom asks, getting her own phone out.
“Sure. Thanks.” I keep reading and Mom types a note of everything we want.
We finally get it all written down and I text Dad. He texts me back that I was right about the lineup, but half an hour later, he’s back carrying a crazy amount of grease spattered paper bags, and balancing two drink trays loaded down with milkshakes.
It’s a feat in itself to watch Justice and Stone plow through a bunch of burgers, fries, onion rings, and down an extra-large milkshake apiece.
Considering we just got kicked out of a symphony, everyone looks remarkably happy.
Even Mom looks like she’s not having a terrible time.
I’m half afraid that if I look up at Shadow, everyone is going to know what’s going on between us, so I try not to.
I huddle over a burger and the milkshake we’re sharing, the tip of my boot wedged tight against Shadow’s under the table.
It’s a beautiful night out, and while we eat and the boys laugh and joke, and occasionally Dad and Rita, and even Mom joins in on the laughter, I can almost believe that we didn’t grow up as a family so fractured that Mom hated Dad, and Dad was gone from us for years.
We’re never going to be a normal family, but moments like this prove that we can still be happy.
That fills me with such joy that I take a chance and reach under the table. I find Shadow’s knee and give it a tight squeeze before I bring my hand back up to finish my burger.
I know it’s a terribly stupid thing to do, but after I finish eating, I slip my phone out of my bag and text Shadow something I have no business sending, especially not while we’re surrounded by family.
I literally hear his phone buzz in his pocket.
I bite down on my lip as he takes it out, already half suspicious.
His eyes widen after scanning the screen, and he quickly tucks it away.
He has to clear his throat roughly, half choking, and I quickly thrust the rest of the milkshake in his direction.
He downs it in big gulps, cheeks faintly flushed.
I’ve never seen anything so adorable as knowing that I flustered him with that text.
I think about it all the way home, as Mom drives us.
Honestly, the night wasn’t such a disaster.
I’m sad about Mom leaving tomorrow morning, but at the same time, I hope that she’ll let me talk her into moving to Seattle one day. If not, that’s okay. I’ll miss her, but we’ll videochat and text and call. I’m not going to shut her out again.
***
We’re almost back to Hart and my phone still hasn’t gone off with a response from Shadow. I turn it away to make sure Mom doesn’t get a look at the screen then read over the text again.
Me: I know I can’t ride home with you on your bike, but I’d rather be riding you anyway.
Shadow might not have texted me back, but I have another surprise for him.