Chapter 25 #2
He’s switched his work hours up, and he’s at his office during the day when I’m at school so that we can have our evenings and nights together, but he and Rita have been working on month end stuff until late in the evenings the past few nights.
It’s been a lot of being bent over a desk.
Shadow wanted to take on extra work and responsibilities.
He also takes a more active role in the MC instead of lurking in the shadows.
He might not be front and center, but he’s found his place.
And he plays piano nearly every day, usually in the evening for me, after dinner.
Bubby is snoring loudly in her wool cave bed over on the chair across from the bed. I have no doubt she’s fast asleep, but Shadow isn’t fooling me with his quiet, shallow breaths.
“Finn?”
His eyes flutter open. “Hey. I didn’t realize you were awake.” His thumb brushes my cheek, traveling down to my lips. He rests it on the bottom one. If I wasn’t so concerned for him, I’d lick my tongue along it, then suck it into my mouth, teasing him until he couldn’t stand it any longer.
“I am now, but so are you. We did a lot today. These past few days, actually. We shouldn’t have gone for that ride after the cookout.
” We did. For two hours, we rode down the freeway, just enjoying the warm summer evening.
We literally rode into the sunset. I’ve loved all of our rides, but tonight felt extra special. “I loved it, but you look exhausted.”
He doesn’t hesitate. “It was worth it. Absolutely. It was a gorgeous day. A good one. I loved that your family was there.”
My mom surprised us by driving from Seattle.
She insisted that she didn’t need to stay here at our house, even though we extended the invite.
She ended up taking Rita up on her offer to spend the night in their basement.
I wasn’t exactly shocked. Ever since Mom moved to Seattle in January, she and my dad have made an effort to be friends.
Rita has been a huge part of that. She’s the one who encouraged my dad to invite my mom for dinner when we did family meal nights.
“I loved that too.” I prop myself up on my elbow and reach across the bed. Shadow rolls closer, letting me rest my hand on his cheek.
“That sunset was the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. Next to you, obviously.”
“I appreciate the flattery.”
“I wouldn’t go that far. I’d say total honesty is a better descriptor.”
I sigh. “Do you want me to start you a shower? I can get a record on while you’re in there and we could listen to it after.”
“Nah. I’ll just rest my eyes a bit longer.”
“Finn.”
“It was worth it to give you a perfect day,” he insists. “It’s always gonna be worth it.”
I get up, turn the light on, and go immediately to the turntable. I switch it on, make sure the volume is low, and put on his favorite Bach vinyl. We have an entire collection, complements of Willa, who has found them at pretty much every pick she goes on and bought them with us in mind.
Classical music flows through the room. I walk over to his side of the bed, lean over him, and kiss him on the forehead. “We’ll go shower.”
By we, I mean him. He’s right about the frigid showers. They might be bearable for him and even soothing, but they’re torturous for me. I don’t mind waiting in the bathroom with him, talking to him, getting a towel ready for when he gets out.
“Okay. But there’s no we tonight. I’m going to need thirty minutes.”
He’s in nothing but black boxers and his gold cross, but he doesn’t flinch when he’s naked in front of me anymore.
He hasn’t in a long time. He’ll always see the scars, and so will I, but they’re a part of him.
He knows that he’ll always be beautiful to me because I love him dearly, and I’m so, so proud of him.
My heart is full of him, beats for him, will always be his.
I sit on the closed toilet lid with my legs crossed, in one of his t-shirts, listening to the water run while he’s freezing his ass off in the shower.
He doesn’t move much. His shadow behind the shower curtain barely moves.
I know he has his back to the spray, letting it pound over the tight, hot skin, easing the flames in his muscles that are never going to fully go away.
When he shuts the shower off and peels the curtain back, I try not to openly salivate as I take in the sight of him.
I know my man would probably be up for an evening of fun if I really wanted it, but given how hard he’s been working, what he needs is a good night’s sleep.
I hold out a towel for him and he takes it, slinging it low around his waist.
We crawl into bed together, him not dry, soaking the sheets, me lying behind him I do caress the back of his neck, playing with his short, soft hairs, running my fingers over the thin gold chain of his necklace. Not as a prelude to anything, more just for closeness.
“I want you closer than that, Fawnie,” he murmurs.
I wriggle towards him and set my hand on his naked hip.
I drop little kisses there, inhaling his familiar scent.
His skin is cold from the shower, but still so warm.
I love these quiet, private moments that are almost unbearably intimate.
I’ll always burn so damn bright for him, but these softer times, that are charged without being about sex at all, will always be my favorite.
“It was a good day,” he sighs. “You were right. Each one gets better and better.”
I wish I could take all the hurt away from him, but I can’t. I have hope that he’ll get there eventually. He’s healing, but those years of self-hate won’t magically vanish overnight. He’s a work in progress. We all are.
“It was the best day, with all our family there.”
“The family that you gave me.” He hauls me in against his chest. Our legs tangle together as he makes space for me to fit so perfectly between them.
“The family that you reached for. They’re yours too.
The club is only mine because of you.” It’s been beautiful, this past year.
I know a little bit of what Shadow feels like, having a true family after having no one.
I always had my mom, but now I have her, and my dad, and the club.
I have friends and so many people who care.
We both have that, as a couple, but we have it separately too.
We are so, so loved. Sometimes, I pause and just let that soak in.
It’s the headiest sensation. “Preacher would always be like a father to you, even if we’d never met. ”
He shudders so hard that the tremor rolls through me too. “I don’t even want to imagine that scenario.”
“No. You’re the love of my life. I’m so happy that we’re creating this beautiful world together. I’m so ridiculously proud of you. You’re beautiful, my love. I don’t tell you that enough.”
“You tell me literally every day.”
“Do you get tired of hearing it?”
“Never. I never, ever will.”
“I love you,” I whisper against his skin, bathing him in hot, furious kisses.
“I love you too,” he rasps, voice thick with emotion. “You were right about that too. It changes, that love. It grows. It gets deeper and better and better too.”
“Yes,” I agree. In a little bit, when he’s able to, I know that he’ll turn over and take me into his arms. He’ll press me up against his chest, knowing that while he shields me with his body, I’ll always shield him with my heart. It belongs to him entirely. “Yes, it does.”
THE END
Hope you enjoyed the book!
The next book in the Satan’s Angels MC
series is Wizard