Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
A tense silence swallowed us whole.
His jaw twitched as he processed my words, and I braced myself for the inevitable blow.
"Who initiated it?" Killian huffed. "Was it him?" He started pacing.
That was the exact question I'd hoped he wouldn't ask. There was already a ton of tension between them, and I didn't want to cause more, but I'd broken my promise to Killian and had to tell him. "What matters is that it ended almost as soon as it began, and I'm so sorry that I betrayed your trust." In reality, the kiss had lasted seconds, but I could still feel his lips on mine.
"So…he kissed you." Killian stopped and stared at me. "Dove, he's bad news."
Something snapped inside me. "He brought four guards here to protect us. How is that bad news?"
His brows furrowed as he sighed. "No, I mean he’s bad news to girls. Look, apart from his dating habits, Griffin is a great guy and a good friend. Well, at least he was before he kissed you." He laughed without humor. "Either way, he has made it abundantly clear that he doesn't want to settle down, and I don't want you to get hurt."
He was right. Somehow, I had opened myself up to getting hurt by Griffin, but I couldn't help it. No matter how loud my head screamed, my heart and wolf wanted to be next to him. I was at war inside, and my brain was losing. "No, I get it. He did hit on me horribly my first day in the coffee shop."
"I'm not trying to be ugly or mean." Killian touched my arm. "But I'm afraid he did that because I claimed you first. And don’t forget that he left with Luna."
That was like a punch to my gut, but sometimes the truth was hard to hear. Everything he said made sense, but it didn’t erase the crazy connection I had with Griffin. "I know."
"Look, I know you're helping me out with the pretend relationship thing, and if your fated mate or some other great guy came along, we'd end the ruse immediately. But Griffin is not the one." He kissed my forehead. "And I don't want to see you get hurt more than you already have, losing your family and pack."
"Not to mention that I have some wacko threatening me." I had to stop thinking about Griffin and what he and Luna were probably doing right at this moment.
The thought of them having sex, or God knew what else, kept trying to creep into my mind, making me want to march over there and kick Griffin in the nads. At least then, he'd be hurting and thinking of me.
Whoa . That was a violent thought. And why did I care if he wanted to be with Luna? I needed to keep my head level.
And that right there spoke volumes.
My reaction to Griffin wasn’t rational, which confirmed my nagging fear. “Look, I want to be honest with you. Griffin and I… we have a strange connection, and even though it’s probably a very bad idea, seeing as he left with Luna… I need to explore it.”
“Dove—” His face pinched.
“I get it.” Boy did I ever, but after going two weeks without seeing Griffin, my heart hurt from wanting to be close to him. “But I’d rather have your blessing than do something behind your back.”
"All I'm saying is, you deserve someone who's going to treat you with respect, loyalty, and kindness." Killian hugged me. "And if this is something you need to explore…” He sighed and ran a hand down his face. “Then you have my blessing. But if he hurts you, I will kick his ass and not have anything to do with him anymore."
I chuckled, but it sounded a little watery. "I'm so glad that I met you. You're like a piece of my family I didn't realize was missing.”
"And I kinda love you too." He pulled back and arched an eyebrow. "But no more running away, or you will be sleeping with me in my bed. Got it?"
"Maybe I'll misbehave then." I winked, totally messing with him.
"Yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes. "But seriously. The fact that you were planning to run away hurts. We're family. If you go, then you better take me."
"But you have your life here, and your pack." Although…he didn't talk about his pack much, now that I thought about it.
"It's my dad's pack. All I’ve done is let them down and allow them to lose their alpha before his time." He frowned.
I hated that he felt responsible, but that was something he’d have to work out himself. “You know that you’re the alpha, and you haven’t stepped down for a reason. I see how Sierra and Carter look at you, and it isn’t with hate or disgust. They love and respect you, which shows you’re doing something right.”
“Maybe, but I’m not ready.” He yawned. "Look, I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed. We've got to get to the university early tomorrow."
Shit, I'd forgotten all about work. I was going to be dead on my feet. "You're right. I'm sorry about all this." If I hadn't tried to sneak out, then none of tonight would've happened, including the kiss.
"No, it's actually a good thing." Killian nodded toward the back door. "We now have four guards protecting us, so we'll know if anyone tries anything."
That was true. "Yeah, Griffin said that I’d be safer here than on the run by myself."
"I hate to admit it, but he's right." Killian yawned again, and I heard his jaw crack. "Now let's go get some rest."
We walked to the bedrooms, and he opened his door all the way. "I'm leaving this open to make sure I catch you next time you try to do something—"
"Smart? Selfless?" I interjected. "Loving?"
"Foolish." He squeezed my arm tenderly. "Good night."
"Night." I left my door cracked open too and crawled into bed. Surprisingly, I fell right to sleep.
Murmurs from the kitchen woke me.
"Sir, she needs to stay here and not go to the university." A voice I didn't recognize spoke. "It'll be too hard to try to keep her safe with all those people around her."
Sir? Was Griffin here already? I glanced at the clock. It was almost seven.
"You're right," Killian’s voice replied. "That coffee shop is always busy. I’ll link with Carter and let him know and then run by and make sure everything is okay with the painting."
Yeah, I had to be part of the conversation about what I'd be doing all day. I got up and made my way toward the voices.
A tall man who had to be in his mid-thirties stood in front of Killian. He had his arms crossed, emphasizing his muscular biceps through his black shirt. He had two guns strapped around his waist, and his amber eyes homed in on me. A blackish eyebrow arched high enough that his matching longish hair hid it. "I take it this is Dove?" His attention went back to Killian.
Yeah, that wasn't going to happen. I could answer questions about myself just fine. "Yes, I am. And you are?"
"Lucas," he said curtly. "I’m part of Killian’s pack. We were discussing your safety."
"Were you?" I tried to keep the sarcasm out of my voice but failed miserably. "I didn't realize that either of you could make decisions on my behalf." I probably would've been willing if the asshole hadn't laid out what I was going to do without discussing it with me.
"It wasn't quite like that." Killian glowered at the man. "Lucas made some very good points about you staying home. The coffee shop will be so packed with people that anyone could slip in and get to you. It’ll be hard to keep an eye on everyone without making it obvious that you’re under guard."
Establishing security measures would be hard; I couldn't argue with them there. "Carter will be pissed." But honestly, I didn't want to go back there yet. Call me a coward, but taking a day to recover might be a good thing. A day to work through my issues, instead of continually making poor decisions. I hadn't sat back and reflected on anything.
"I'll handle him." Killian winked. "Don't worry about that. And I better get moving because I wanted to check on the paint job I did and make sure nothing bled through."
"Is there anything else we need to discuss, sir?" Lucas asked.
"Nope, make sure no one gets inside to hurt her." Killian patted my arm as he walked by, leaving me alone with the guard.
I didn't like being around people I didn't know, but I couldn't be rude when this guy was protecting me.
"Well, I better get back outside." Lucas opened the door to the porch. "Let us know if you need anything."
"Will do." I strolled over to the couch and picked up the remote then turned on the television.
I'd been there by myself for all of thirty minutes, and I was already restless. I flopped around on the couch, trying to get comfortable, but nothing helped.
Footsteps pounded on the back porch and the door opened once more. Between the rhythm of the feet and the tug that took hold, I already knew who it was…and I hated it.
Despite him not being the massive creep he’d appeared to be the other day, I still wasn’t thrilled that fate had chosen him of all people. He’d left with Luna last night, so what did that say about our connection? Something had to be wrong, and I had to be misreading the situation.
The problem was after tossing and turning all night, I was pretty damn sure I knew what this overwhelming, horrifying connection was.
Griffin had to be my fated mate.
Which didn’t make any sense and shouldn’t be possible. In fact, I hated that the thought had even crossed my mind, and yet…it resonated with my soul.
Of course, he’d show up now, after Luna must have left. The anger inside me at what they might have done put me in a combative mood.
When he stepped into the living room, I somehow prevented myself from getting up and running toward him. He looked fresh with his hair gelled to the side and his maroon shirt fitting him like a second skin. He placed his hands in his jeans pockets as he scanned me from head to toe.
My body warmed.
"Hey, you," he drawled as he sauntered over to me. "A little birdie told me that you were staying home today."
"I know that little birdie wouldn't be Killian." It had to be one of the guards. "He's pissed at you."
"Oh?" He looked amused. "How come?"
I sat up, surprised at his cavalier attitude. "Because I told him that we kissed."
He shrugged and sat next to me, throwing his arm over my shoulders. "I’m thinking there is more to the story between you and Killian."
"Are you trying to be funny?" I scooted away from him, needing him not to touch me. I lost my mind that way. "As far as you know, he and I are dating." I wanted to see how he reacted to my words.
He smirked. "I don't think that you really are. I would even go as far as to say you two view each other more like siblings than anything."
"What?" I said in a way too high-pitched voice. "I don't have to explain anything to you." Shit, why would he say that? Were we not convincing? "Besides, it's not just Killian that's part of this equation. Speaking of which, how is Luna ?"
"Probably hungover as hell." He laughed. "Her dad was not pleased. He called me, apologizing profusely when she got home."
"Well, I'm sure she made up for the inconvenience she caused you many times over." I crossed my arms and turned my head, cheeks burning, refusing to meet his eyes. I didn't want to see what was reflecting back at me.
"What are you talking about?" He sounded bewildered. "When I left here, I dropped her off at her house and immediately left."
My heart leaped with joy, and I told it to sit the hell down. I wasn’t going to fall for the innocent-playboy act. I stood, needing to get away from him, but he grabbed my waist and brought me down beside him, the tug pulling us together.
"I asked you a question," he rasped.
"She's your girlfriend." I inhaled sharply, trying to keep my act together. I wanted to explore things with him—I couldn’t help but want to be with my fated mate—but not while he was with someone else. "It's fine. But you shouldn't be here with me alone."
"Why the hell would you think she's my girlfriend?" he asked as he cupped my face and turned me to look at him.
I expected to see malice, contempt, or something, but instead, I found concern. His eyes were tender, and the cocky man I’d met that day in the coffee shop appeared to be gone.
"Because she told me that, during those weeks when you were gone, you'd been spending them with her." That conversation had devastated me, even though I didn't like to admit it. "That she'd been able to get you to settle down sooner than she expected."
"Are you fucking serious?" he snarled. "She's such a bitch. Killian had her pegged all along."
"So you aren't together?" I wanted to take that back because the answer was way too important to me. But there it was, hanging out there for him to answer and potentially to break me.
He smiled. "No, but she did have part of that right." He leaned so his lips hovered over mine. "For the first time ever, I do want to settle down."
My heart raced, and butterflies took flight in my stomach. "That's funny, after all I've heard about you."
"Oh, everything you heard is true, but this silver-haired girl walked into my life, turning everything upside down." He brushed his lips against mine. "The first time I met her, she challenged me, infuriated me, and was so damn alluring. The first moment I laid eyes on her and she cut through all my bullshit, I was a goner."
"You expect me to believe that?" My head didn't believe him, but my heart and wolf did. The awful stench of a lie was missing. My wolf whimpered, wanting to get closer. "You fought with me constantly and disappeared until last night. You didn't even come into the shop."
"When I lost my dad, it was the worst day of my entire life," he said as he took my hand. "And I swore I would never grow close to anyone else again. But then you came here, and not only did I care for you, but I fell for you so damn hard that the thought of losing you makes me insane."
Happiness surged through me stealing my breath. I never thought I’d even feel a fraction of this ever again, but that was the kind of effect this man had on me.
"So you ran?" He and I were more alike than I’d thought.
"Yeah, but every day, the urge to see you again got stronger and stronger. Watching you with Killian would have killed me." He turned his body fully toward me. "But yesterday, I couldn't stay away any longer. It was like something pulled me back here in the nick of time. I'd only been home a few minutes before something told me you were outside. And there you were, running away."
"Griffin—" I started, but he placed a finger over my lips.
"Please let me get this out." His irises darkened to a brown.
I nodded, wanting to hear what he had to say.
"Between you confiding your secret to me and Luna trying to hurt you, I knew my heart was done for. That I would have to watch you with Killian, from the sidelines." He rubbed his thumb against my wrist. "But then I came into the house to help you get shifted back and realized that, not only are you sleeping in Olive's room alone, but you don’t love Killian in the way I feared you did, and I didn't need to worry about betraying my best friend any longer. You are fair game."
"What are you talking about?" There was no way he could've known that Killian and my relationship was based on pure friendship.
"Because I found this." He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and unfolded it.
My breath caught as he showed me the letter I’d written to Killian. Griffin did know everything. "That's why you kissed me."
"Yup." He waggled his brows. "The only thing standing between you and me wasn't a problem after all. I wouldn't be betraying my best friend, and I had to see if you felt the same way about me."
"And what did you determine?" My breath caught as I looked at his lips.
"That you do." He kissed me, not holding back any longer. My stomach fluttered, and my head grew dizzy as his tongue slipped inside my mouth. His hands went to my waist, dragging me onto his lap. He began to whisper against my lips.
“At first, I thought it couldn’t be possible, that this feeling was lust. Each time I see you… touch you… kiss you, I can’t focus on anything else.” He pulled back, and his eyes stared into my soul as he whispered, “We’re fated mates. Tell me that you feel it?” He peppered kisses down my face.
His words crumbled every wall I’d built up around my heart. Maybe he’d been a player before, but everything inside told me that we’d changed each other. The tug between our souls was painfully blissful, as if we needed to connect to make us whole. “I feel the same way.”
I straddled him, needing to be closer, but I still couldn’t get close enough. My body caught fire as I slipped my tongue into his mouth, and he matched me stroke for stroke. The sweet scent of arousal coursed between us.
Between his minty taste and his smell, my head swam in a way I never wanted to end. I moaned when his fingertips brushed the bare skin of my stomach, and my need for him slammed through me.
His hand slipped under my shirt, cupping my breast as I rocked against him. I had no clue what I was doing, but he bucked against me, making me feel as if I was doing something right.
As I kissed down his neck, he sighed. “Wait. We can’t do this.”
The rejection stung as I pulled back. “What? But I thought—”
“I want to.” He removed his hands from under my shirt and growled. “But you deserve better than this. I don’t want to take you in Killian’s house while he’s out. You deserve to be courted and pampered. I want to give you all of my attention and go back to an empty house so we can take our time in my bed.” He kissed me and ran his fingers through my hair. “I want our first time together to be the best memory possible because it’ll be the start of our whole life together.”
“You do want this?” The tug had become an overwhelming leaping sensation that made me yearn for every inch of him. For him to want to wait made me fall even more.
“There’s no doubt in my mind.” He gently pressed his lips to mine. “So, Dove, what are you doing tonight?”
“Sterlyn,” my name fell from my lips.
“What?” His brows furrowed. “Sterlyn?”
“It’s my real name.” No one had called me that in so long. “I didn’t tell Killian my name, so he started calling me Dove.”
“It’s beautiful.” He brushed his lips against mine. “So, what are you doing tonight, Sterlyn?”
“Pretty sure some desperate alpha is going to wind up showing up at my door, begging me to be his for the night,” I teased him, unable to stop myself. In this moment, I was so damn happy.
“You better make him grovel.” He sighed and leaned his forehead against mine.
The garage door rumbled open, indicating that Killian had arrived home.
"Well, it’s a good thing we didn’t take things further now," Griffin said as he pecked my lips. "I guess there’s no time like the present to inform my protective best friend I’ll be taking his sister out tonight."
I tensed. Griffin acted confident that this was all going to work out, but I wasn't so sure.