17. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
R owan’s shoes sank into the lush grass as she followed Cora into a clearing ringed with ancient trees, their gnarled limbs reaching skyward. The early morning mist clung to her skin, carrying the earthy scent of pine and moss. She was determined to uncover the secrets that lay within, no matter the cost.
Cora stood beside Rowan, her arms crossed beneath her ample bosom. “Magic isn’t some cheap parlor trick.” Her voice was infused with a mystical wisdom that seemed to coax the very earth to listen. “It’s the lifeblood of nature itself, coursing through you, through everything.” She stretched out her arms, palms facing the sky. “Watch closely, dear.”
With a graceful flourish, Cora clasped her hands together, and from her fingertips sprouted a vine, green and vibrant, twining up toward the heavens.
“Your turn.” She pointed to Rowan, her eyes twinkling with challenge. “Imagine yourself as one with the earth. Roots growing from your feet, anchoring you, giving you strength.”
Rowan closed her eyes, picturing roots breaking free from the soles of her shoes, burrowing into the dark soil beneath. She willed her mind to clear, to become one with the pulsating life force of the planet. A trickle of sweat beaded on her brow, born of effort rather than heat.
For a brief moment, she held the image of roots in her mind before they dissolved under a wave of doubt and insecurity. Her shoulders slumped and her brows pinched together as she failed to replicate Cora’s technique .
“That’s to be expected,” Cora said. “You’re trying to sprint before you can crawl. Slow and steady.”
“It feels more like I’m falling on my face.” Rowan bent over, breathing heavily, hands resting on her knees. She was already tired from the exertion that had yielded nothing but sweat.
“Frustration is your enemy,” Cora advised. “It clouds your mind and cuts you off from your magic. Breathe . . . feel . . . let go.” Her red hair seemed to catch fire in the sunlight as she stood in front of Rowan, her feet planted firmly on the ground. “Magic is alive, part of everything. It breathes within the earth, within the trees, within you. It’s not about forcing it, but inviting it. Understanding it.”
Cora lifted her arms, and the air around them vibrated in a silent symphony of power. Though there was no breeze, the leaves rustled, and the ground beneath them thrummed with life. With a flick of her wrist, thick vines crept over the soil toward them, wrapping around Rowan’s ankles before receding again.
“Try again,” Cora urged. “And this time, imagine the roots are not just grounding you, but pulling up the power too. Like drawing water from a well.”
Rowan nodded and squared her shoulders, determined to make it work. She envisioned the roots again, but this time she focused on the pull, the draw of energy.
Hours ticked by as she attempted it over and over. Her body shook with effort, and beads of sweat rolled down her forehead. Yet the well within was sealed, and her powers remained stubbornly just out of reach. Rowan couldn’t push past the mental barrier that seemed as solid as the stones lining the mossy ground. Insidious doubts whispered in her mind, threatening to choke her resolve.
“Damn it!” Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. It wasn’t just her relentless pain causing them, but sheer frustration and exasperation. She blinked rapidly, refusing to let them fall. “Why can’t I do this? What’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing’s wrong with you.” Cora stepped closer. “You’ve got the makings of a powerful necromancer, just like your mother. I can feel it. Your block isn’t your talent. It’s your head. And heart, possibly. A tangled mess of thoughts and emotions—that’s what’s holding you back.”
“Then maybe I’m meant to stay tangled.” The raw edge to Rowan’s voice betrayed the vulnerability she fought to keep hidden. “Perhaps some knots aren’t meant to be undone. ”
“Or maybe,” Cora challenged, her gaze unwavering, “you’ve been brainwashed your entire life to hate a part of yourself.”
Rowan’s eyebrows shot up. “What are you talking about?”
“The Brotherhood. All that garbage they fill your head with ’bout women being inferior to men. It’s all just chains. Witches have been worshipping something far greater than their so-called ‘Exalted Ones’ and ‘traditional values’ long before those small-minded men decided powerful women were too dangerous.” Cora leaned forward to stare intently at Rowan. “The Goddess of Nature herself.”
Gooseflesh broke out on Rowan’s arms and the back of her neck. The very term was blasphemy, according to the Brotherhood. Yet as she met Cora’s gaze, it stirred something within her.
“You don’t have to untangle all your knots at once,” Cora said, her tone softer now as she reached out and took Rowan’s hands in her own. “Start with the smallest ones first. Question what they taught you, and learn who you are without their rules, their imposed guilt, and their orders. You’ve never had the chance to explore who you really are. But this world, this magic, it doesn’t work with orders and commands. It’s wild and free, just as you’re meant to be.”
Rowan could feel the warm pulse of power emanating from Cora’s touch, seeping into her skin, willing her to accept the raw truth in the older woman’s words.
“You make it sound easy.” She swallowed, the lump in her throat hard and stubborn against the onslaught of emotions.
“The magic doesn’t come from following a specific set of rules, and it won’t bloom under suppression, falsehoods, or self-doubt.” Cora squeezed Rowan’s hands gently before letting go. “Your power is a part of you. Once you embrace who you are, the magic will come as naturally as breathing, and you won’t know how you lived without it. It will surge through your veins and make your heart beat to its rhythm.”
“How am I supposed to do that when I’ve been conditioned to fear and despise the very idea of powerful women?” Rowan muttered under her breath. But Cora heard her. She always did.
“Open your mind.” Cora reached out and brushed her silver-blonde hair away from her face. “Learn about the history they’ve erased, the truths they’ve twisted, and the strength they’ve tried so hard to suppress within you. Learn about our ancestors, who danced under the moon and communed with the Goddess. Learn about the power that lies in your bloodline. ”
Rowan faltered, grappling for words. “How do you know that will work?”
Cora simply smiled, a serene expression that revealed nothing and everything at once. “I’ve walked this path too, Rowan. Those knots I’ve talked about—I’ve wrestled with ones far tighter and more intricate.”
In that moment, something shifted within Rowan. The ever-present fear receded slightly to make room for hope. If someone as powerful and self-assured as Cora had struggled at first, then maybe Rowan wasn’t a complete failure.
“Remember, dear.” Cora leaned back to rest against an aged oak tree. “The path to self-discovery isn’t easy or linear. Understanding oneself is a journey, not a race, where you continuously learn and unlearn things.”
Casimir glided into the charged atmosphere, his approach deliberate and unhurried, his presence immediately commanding the space despite his silent footfalls.
“Your magic’s there,” he assured Rowan. He stood behind her, a cool hand resting gently on her shoulder. The contact was both soothing and electrifying, sending shivers through her body that had little to do with the evening chill. “Remember the night we were cornered by those vampires?” he said. “You used your powers for the first time and froze them in place. You saved our lives, and you did it through pure instinct.”
His words reignited a spark of confidence within her, and a flicker of something potent stirred in her chest.
“I’m trying to remember how that felt, but it’s like trying to grasp smoke.” She closed her eyes to help her remember and leaned back ever so slightly into Casimir’s touch.
He squeezed her shoulder in reassurance. “Don’t give up. You’re smart and tenacious. You’ll master this, I have no doubt.”
Rowan gave them both a grateful smile. “Thank you. You’ve helped me immensely. I appreciate your guidance and confidence in me.”
Cora’s face softened. “I think that’s enough for now. You can’t expect to learn it all at once. You’ve pushed yourself hard today and must be exhausted.”
Rowan gave a weary nod. No amount of stubborn determination could overcome the pain and fatigue creeping into every inch of her body.
“Now, I need to get back to my tavern before my patron's riot for beer.” Cora drew Rowan into a hug. It was unexpected and tender, a rare display of affection that caught Rowan off guard. “Get some rest,” Cora said gently. “Tomorrow we’ll continue.”
Rowan watched as she walked away, her silhouette swallowed by the creeping darkness. A wave of gratitude washed over her, and she was thankful for Cora’s trust and guidance .
“Come.” Casimir gestured toward the cottage. “You’ve done well for your first day. Let’s heed Cora’s advice and rest.”
They walked back to the cottage in silence, each lost in their thoughts. The warmth of the hearth greeted them as they crossed the threshold. The intimacy of the small space wrapped around Rowan like a cocoon, magnifying the undercurrent of attraction she felt for Casimir. She glanced at him discreetly as he moved around the room, the flickering firelight dancing across his defined features and throwing shadows that accentuated his masculine appeal.
Exhaustion clung to her like a second skin, and she swayed with fatigue. Casimir caught her elbow, steadying her with a concerned glance. “You need to get to bed.” He gently guided her toward her small room.
Rowan paused at the threshold, hesitating as she looked up at his towering frame. She felt oddly vulnerable yet inexplicably drawn to him.
Taking a deep breath, she gathered the courage to voice what she both wanted and needed. “What happened at the Reaper’s castle still haunts me.”
He moved closer to her, his reassuring presence enveloping her. Their eyes met and he gave an encouraging nod, prompting her to continue.
“I noticed that . . . umm . . . when we slept together, I felt safe and didn’t have nightmares anymore.” She fidgeted, the confession making her cheeks flush.
Casimir’s expression remained unreadable, though his eyes softened considerably. After what seemed like ages, he finally spoke. “Would you like to share my bed again tonight?”
The thought of being so close to him again, of sharing such intimacy, felt both thrilling and terrifying. But more than anything else, she craved his comforting presence by her side.
Rowan nodded, her pulse thrumming beneath her skin. “Yes.”
Casimir remained silent for a moment, studying her. Then he gave a slow nod of agreement, his eyes never leaving hers. “All right.”
Rowan slipped away to her room to disrobe, donning only her simple linen shift that whispered around her legs as she moved. The thin fabric clung to her skin, revealing the outline of her curves beneath. In the dim light, the subtle shadow of her breasts almost teased through the sheer material. She had never felt more exposed or vulnerable .
She returned to Casimir’s room to find him waiting for her. Conscious of the heat building inside her, Rowan hid her shaking hands behind her back. She glanced toward the modest bed on the far side of the room, then back at him.
“I think we should turn in for the night,” she suggested.
With that, they moved into the bed together. Their conversation turned to whispers as they settled down to rest. Their bodies aligned perfectly, as if they were two pieces of a puzzle meant to fit together. Casimir’s arm wrapped protectively around her waist as her back met his broad chest. The earthy, masculine scent of him was entrancing.
There was a pleasurable thrill that came with being so close to him, wrapped in his powerful arms, his breath fluttering against her hair. She could sense the restraint in his hold—the careful deliberation behind every movement. It was as though he were cradling a delicate porcelain doll, afraid of breaking her.
Each area where their bodies touched sent a delicious shiver through her from the point of contact. The adrenaline coursing through her body obliterated her previous exhaustion. She felt safe, alive, and most of all—filled with desire.
Without giving herself time to hesitate or second-guess her actions, she released a sultry sigh and tilted her head back, exposing her throat. Casimir’s mouth was so close to her that she could feel his breath on her neck as he inhaled deeply and let out a low, masculine groan.
Encouraged by his response, she decided to take a risk. She needed to know if there was even the slightest chance that he also felt this charged connection between them.
“Casimir,” she whispered.
His body stiffened behind her for a moment before he responded, his voice husky. “Yes?”
She swallowed, gathering her courage. “I appreciate your oath of protection and your friendship, but is it possible that one day you could feel something more for me?”
Rowan felt his chest expand behind her as he drew in a sharp breath. She could practically feel the silence between them, threatening to consume her sanity. Each passing second felt like an eternity.
“Casimir?” she prompted, holding her breath as she awaited his response.
Then his arm around her waist tightened just a fraction. His answer, when it came, was hushed, laced with an emotion she couldn’t quite decipher.
“Yes,” he said. “I feel something for you.”
Her breath released from her lungs in a whoosh as she waited for him to continue .
“I’m utterly and completely captivated by you. I’ve never felt something quite like this pull, this gravity that draws me to you.” His body tensed as if bracing for rejection.
Rowan found herself trembling, not with fear but with a mixture of anticipation and exhilaration. She clutched at his hand resting on her waist. “Then why have you never acted on your feelings?”
“I worried I would frighten you. Or worse, that I would be unable to control myself around you.”
She leaned into him. “I’m not afraid of you. I want you to act on your feelings. It’s something I’ve wanted for a while now.”
He pulled away slightly within the confines of the small bed. “I’m dangerous. I’ve been trying to keep you safe.”
She turned to face him, her hands moving up to cup his inhumanly handsome face. Her green eyes bored into his blue ones, sincere and unafraid. “I don’t need you to keep me safe. I need you to trust me. To trust us.”
His eyes flared, his pupils dilating to nearly the size of his irises. Rowan took it as an encouraging sign and moved closer, closing the small gap between them. She could feel the evidence of his arousal poking her in the stomach.
She pressed her lips to his. Gentle at first, and then hot and hard, an explosion of pent-up emotion and desire manifesting in an all-consuming inferno.
Their tongues entwined in a wet, hot slide as Casimir took control of the kiss and plundered her mouth, both of them wild with need. He sucked on her bottom lip before trailing kisses down the line of her neck. His touch was skillful as he made his way down to the valley between her cleavage, and she responded to him eagerly.
Rowan gasped as he fondled her breasts. She let out a soft moan, arching against him.
Their lips collided again in a fiery kiss, and the world narrowed to the point of their connection. He drove his tongue inside her mouth, hungrily tasting her. Her hands found their way to his chest, feeling the hard, unyielding muscle beneath her palms as she anchored herself in a reality rapidly spinning out of control.
“Rowan,” he breathed, the sound of her name fueling the fire that threatened to consume them both. “Tell me to stop, and I will.”
Her voice was lost, buried under the weight of her yearning and the intoxicating power of his proximity. She seized the back of his head, gripping it with urgency as she crushed her lips against his, pulling him closer. Every fiber of her being ached to give in to their perilous journey along the edge of temptation, risking everything for just one more taste of forbidden pleasure.
She swung her leg over his, straddling him to deepen the kiss. With a thrill, she registered the hard bulge pressing insistently against her core through the thin layers of their clothing. Her breath hitched at the sensations coursing through her.
He groaned and tightened his grip around her waist, pulling her closer. She could feel every part of him, feel him wanting her just as much as she wanted him. Her hands tugged at the dark, silky strands of his hair. He closed his eyes, an expression of pure bliss spreading across his face. The sight only fueled her passion further. As if acting on some primal instinct, their bodies started moving in sync with each other.
“Gods, Rowan,” he groaned as his hand slipped lower, finding the hem of her shift and pushing it up to reveal the warmth of her skin. His fingers danced across her abdomen, drawing closer to the heat at her core. For a moment, he paused, hesitating. His eyes widened in surprise and then darkened with desire when it became clear that she was completely nude underneath.
“Is this okay?” He paused just as his fingers brushed her most intimate place. It was a question laced with urgency, a plea for permission to continue down this path from which there was no return.
“Don’t stop,” she breathed.
He claimed her lips once more, a hungry assault. Their tongues entwined, the kiss building in intensity as his hand slid between her legs. Rowan gasped with pleasure.
As Casimir’s fingers stroked and teased, his lips traveled down her body to the expanse of her stomach, his kisses soft as butterfly wings against her heated skin, his breath a delicate caress as he lingered at the crest of her thighs.
“You’re irresistible,” he growled.
Gently, he parted her folds. The bold swipe of his tongue was an unbearably delicious sensation. He deftly explored her, sending sparks through her body like lightning.
Unable to control herself any longer, she grabbed his hair with both hands, desperately pulling him closer. He complied with a low moan that vibrated against her skin, sending shockwaves of ecstasy coursing through her.
“Please, Casimir . . .” Rowan’s voice fractured, her body as tight as a bowstring in the inexorable climb toward climax.
Casimir tasted her like a man starved, his tongue speeding up with supernatural speed as he plunged a finger inside her. Stars burst behind her closed eyelids and a cry escaped her, raw and unrestrained. She clung tighter to him as her body shook with aftershocks. He was her anchor in the storm of unfamiliar emotions and sensations.
In the aftermath, they lay entwined, the sound of her heartbeat loud in the quiet room. Casimir embraced her, his eyes reflecting the depth of his feelings.
Hesitantly, he broke the silence, his voice a rough whisper. “There was a time when I gave my heart to another.” He traced patterns along her arm as he spoke, as if he were trying to etch his memories onto her skin. “Her name was Isadora, and she was my wife.”
Rowan stilled at his words. Casimir wasn’t comfortable being vulnerable or sharing details about his past. Yet he was willing to trust her with this.
“I had to watch her live a life I could no longer share, love another, grow old. All from a distance, unable to even let her know I still walked this world.”
“Because you were turned?” Her thumb caressed his jawline, sensing the pain that laced his words.
“Because I was a monster.” His gaze grew distant. “Newly turned, I had no control over the bloodlust. And I feared she’d see me for what I’d become.”
Rowan could feel the depth of his sorrow, an ancient wound that time hadn’t healed. It made her heart ache for him. “But you’re not a monster.”
He drew in a deep breath. “I need you to understand something.” His gaze was penetrating, his eyes haunted by his past. “This connection between us can’t go any further unless I know we have a future. What we have could be timeless, eternal. But only if you choose it.”
“Choose what?”
“To be turned. To become like me—a vampire.”
Rowan stilled.
His raw vulnerability touched a part of her soul. She considered the prospect of eternity, of forever sharing her life with Casimir. It was a tantalizing offer, one that promised endless nights of passion and companionship. But it was also terrifying, laced with uncertainty and risks she couldn’t even begin to fathom. He wasn’t just asking for her love, but for her to give up her humanity and embrace all the darkness that entailed. The weight of his ultimatum sank claws into her heart, each beat a reminder of what she stood to gain—and lose.
His fingers tightened around hers. “Please, say something.”
“Can’t we just enjoy right now? Why worry about forever so soon?” She forced a laugh, but the sound was hollow, even to her ears.
“Because ‘now’ for me is forever. And because I cannot—I will not—allow myself to fall in love with you if you’re just going to die within a few short decades. Not when I have the power to prevent it.”
Rowan knew he spoke from a place of loneliness and loss. She wanted to promise him everything would be all right. But could she make such a promise?
“Turning. It’s not just about living forever, is it? It’s hunger, darkness, and death too.” Her internal conflict spilled over. She was finally coming into her own, discovering who she was, and he was asking her to give that all up for him.
“True. But it’s also strength, power, and feeling every moment more intensely. It’s never having to say goodbye.”
“Is it worth it?” Her voice quivered.
“Only you can answer that.” He pulled her into an embrace that was both possessive and pleading. “Know this. I’ll protect you with every fiber of my being, but I refuse to bind you to a life you don’t want.”
“Give me time.” She buried her face in his chest, inhaling his deliciously unique scent that always seemed to calm her. “I need time to think. It’s a significant decision.”
“Take the time you need. Just not too long.”
With that, they lapsed into silence, the air between them heavy with the enormity of what had just been said. Rowan lay still in Casimir’s arms, grappling with the depth and scale of the decision before her. Her mind swirled like a darkened whirlpool, pulling her deeper into its abyss.