Chapter 16 #2
“He’s unreal,” Paige said, with a scoff. “First, he’s Mr. ‘I want to make this up to you. I want to help.’ Now, it’s like ‘oh, whatever, play by my rules.’”
“He does have a point. My family is slowly dying, so maybe we should just focus on saving them, rather than Devon’s experience with your mom.”
With a sigh, Paige trudged forward, continuing behind Devon. “That’s just weird.”
“What?” Dewey asked.
“That he knew my mom when she was pregnant with me. Like, how does that even work?”
“He’s probably, like, a hundred years old. Makes perfect sense to me.”
“I’m still getting used to the several hundred-year-old people, sorry.”
“He’s a baby, really. His dad is probably a thousand years old.”
Paige’s feet faltered for a moment as she considered living for a millennium. “Right. So, he could have known my mom as a baby. He could have dated my mom. He could…OMG!”
Paige stopped dead again, her features frozen into a disgusted frown.
“What?”
She slid her eyes sideways, her lips still tugged into a grimace. “Do you think Devon is my dad?”
“Ew, what?” Dewey asked, fluttering into the air. “He asked you to marry him. That’s super disgusting if he’s your dad.”
“Right, you’re right. Unless…do vampires marry their children?”
“No,” Dewey said, with a shake of his head.
“No one marries their children. You really think supernatural creatures are backward, don’t you?
Well, let me tell you, Paige, they’re probably more advanced than the human race.
An entire generation of your kind ate Tide Pods and jumped from moving cars to dance. ”
Dewey rolled his eyes. “Idiots.”
“That’s true. Very true. Are there no Tide Pod challenges amongst the vampire youth?”
Dewey shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t think vampires do that kind of thing. Maybe other stupid things when they are young, but I’m not sure. Oh, I know, let’s ask Devon.”
“No, don’t–”
“Hey, Devon!” Dewey shouted ahead of them.
He offered an annoyed sigh as he stopped his marching and turned to face them. “Yeah?”
“Hey, do you know of any weird challenges vampires do because of social media?”
Devon screwed up his face. “What?”
“Paige asked a series of offensive questions about supernatural creatures.”
“They were not offensive,” Paige said, defending herself.
“They were. She wanted to know if you could be her dad. And I said no because why would you ask her to marry you? And she said maybe vampires do that.”
Devon’s features pinched further. “I think that food poisoning messed up your brain.”
“I didn’t say that exactly,” Paige answered.
“Anyway, I pointed out that humans are the pinnacle of stupidity in most instances. Case in point, eating Tide Pods for a TikTok challenge. And she wanted to know if there were any equivalents to that for vampires.”
Devon pressed his lips together and shook his head. “Nothing that stupid. Why would you possibly think I could be your dad?”
Paige flung her hands out as Dewey landed on her shoulder again. “How should I know? You suddenly reveal that you knew my mom. It’s possible, right?”
“Not really. Look, I met your mom when she was already really pregnant. Like ready to give birth. In fact, she went into labor the last time we saw each other, and that was it. I never saw her again. Okay? Totally not your dad.”
“He’s not your dad!” Dewey said, with a fist raised in the air. “Woo-hoo. No weird father-child relationships here. Now, let’s move on, shall we?”
“I’m sorry, buddy, I know your family’s lives are on the line, but it’s just weird. And I feel like I need more information.”
“Get it after we rob the Harpies. You two pick the stupidest times to have these heavy conversations. I mean, seriously? Right now, you decide you want to discuss how he knew your mom, and how well?”
Paige wrinkled her nose as she bumped up her glasses. “I can’t help it. Fine, we’ll discuss it later. Why does it have to be so hot?”
“Should have gotten contacts, told you,” Dewey answered.
“That’s not helping right now,” Paige answered as her spectacles slipped again on her sweaty nose.
“Oh, you could order some on Pamazon and get one-hour delivery.”
“Prescription?” Paige asked.
Dewey shrugged. “Sure, but you’d have red eyes or something weird because they’d be monster contacts, but still…”
Paige shook her head as she trudged behind Devon. “Never mind. I’ll just keep pushing them up.”
“It’s your funeral,” he said, patting her on the head.
Ahead of them, Devon slowed as they approached the edge of the village. Paige crept next to him, studying the perimeter. “Where do you think the gardens are?”
“They’re usually in the center of the village,” Dewey answered.
Paige groaned, planting a palm against her forehead. “Of course. Okay, so what’s our plan?”
“Go in, get the Heat, get out. Ohhh, also,” Dewey said, poking a finger at her, “watch when you touch them. They’ll burn you. Or bite.”
“Bite?” Paige asked as she grimaced.
“Yeah. They have teeth. And they bite hard.”
Her shoulders slumped, and she blew out a long breath. “This is the worst. Okay, fine. We need to figure out how to get to the center gardens undercover, and then–”
Her words cut off as Devon nose-dived to the ground, sprawling into a heap.
“Devon?” Paige exclaimed as she dropped to her knees next to him. She rolled him onto his back before she pulled her hand away from his sweaty shirt.
Dewey fluttered down and studied him before he pressed a paw against Devon’s forehead. “Uh oh.”
“Uh oh, what?” Paige asked.
“He’s burning up. I think he may be sick.”