Chapter 64
RAINE
Yes, I heard Kieren’s sister say all those nice things about me.
But I also heard her say something about a mating ball.
That the lightning should have happened in a fortnight and now they have to stop messing around.
I’m keeping them from something important.
Why am I even here? I shouldn’t be here.
I can’t believe I’ve gotten so deep into this. They’re princes. Princes. And I’m not a princess. There’s no mark on my skin. No way will this work.
I’m taking slow steps back to my suite when I realize I’m not even supposed to be there. Under false pretenses or not, I was hired to organize a collection, and that’s exactly what I should be doing. If I’m not going to be here for the full six months, I need to get pictures.
My chest squeezes. It’s not a heart attack.
But it feels like one. I hold back the tears because what good does it do to cry over something that was never rightly mine?
I stuff it down, but the pain’s hollowing me out, dredging up depths of loss I didn’t know existed.
I thought the pain of finding out that I wasn’t going to be able to finish school was a lot. But this, this is more than I can take.
Moving through the corridor, I keep my steps as silent as I can.
I pass my suite, heading for the stone stairs, but then pivot back.
In my suite, I lock the door and head to the back of the closet.
To the door I haven’t opened since that first week.
The lights are on. Perhaps this is being a little childish.
Okay, no perhaps. I can feel it in my gut, but I also feel all kinds of other things in my gut right now: pain, regret, longing.
And a whole lot of not being enough. Just like when my parents told me to get a real major so I could have a real job. One that would support me.
I turn down the interior hallway with the plaster and lath showing.
At the corner of what I imagine is the end, near what would be the closet in the room next to me, there’s a short staircase down, barely half a flight, and it opens up into a full-size corridor with a short ceiling.
Utility lights brighten the path, and soon I find a staircase that goes down a full flight and a door with a worn metal handle.
I step out into a storage room full of canned goods.
At the end of it, though, is another door.
And when I go through, it takes me to the south hallway, right where I want to be.
I’m at the collection’s door when I realize the secret passageways have lessened some of my pain. But seeing the collection and looking at Kieren’s chair has my chest seizing up again. I sit in it; even though he’s had it a short time, I can smell him, cedar and pine.
Sinking deeper into the chair, I run over my options: go, or stay and confirm I don’t have the lightning and then leave brokenhearted.
Which is still go. It’s just delaying the process.
Kind of like how my roommate at school tried to get me to stay.
She wanted to smuggle me in after my ID stopped working.
But I didn’t see the point. I had to go.
So I left on my own terms. Leaving with my dignity as intact as possible. I’ll be back, though. I’ll finish it.
That’s it, then. That’s what I should do.
I pull out my phone. When I left school, I talked it all through with Wren.
I know I have an NDA, but I don’t care anymore.
I need my sister. Kieren has his sister.
His sister who was in a tower. That’s what they said.
A tower. I . . . Now I’m replaying her tumbling through the portal.
She wasn’t speaking English, French, or even Spanish.
But I understood everything. Or at least the gist of it.
I pull out my phone and type the sort of text message that Wren hates. Like, absolutely despises. But it’s better than a voice memo—she hates those more. And also, I’d end up crying. Also, screw the NDA.
I hit send and sigh.
I haven’t turned on the lights in the collection area, only the office. Work, yeah, there’s no way I’m going to get any work done. I close my eyes until my phone vibrates in my hand.
My sister’s face appears, smiling, her crisp uniform in place as she holds out a drink for the camera. “Holy fuck, Raine. No wonder. That’s a lot. A lot.”
I will not cry, I will not cry. “It is.”
“Did you tell them you love them? Because from the novel you sent me, it sounds like you do. All three of them. Holy hell.”
There’s a pause. A long pause. Because she knows me. “Right, well. From the text and the pictures, you’re happy with them.”
“I thought I was. But it’s like they’re all just waiting for me to pass out with this lightning.”
“Like when we were waiting for Aunt Amanda to have her baby?”
“Yeah, exactly. Like, when is this marking going to appear?”
“Okay . . . okay. So what? Maybe it doesn’t appear. Other shifters have love matches.”
“They’re not from around here, remember?”
“Right.”
“And royal,” I say.
“I know.”
“I should come home.” Even as I say it, I want to pull the words out of the air and back into my lungs.
“I mean. I guess that’s up to you. You and your three guys. Three guys!”
“Wren, stay focused.”
“Right. It’s up to you. Stay and see what happens or leave. Which do you want to do?”
“I want to stay. But . . .”
“You want to go?”
“Yes.”
“Can’t you stay and finish your contract? Or are they going to kick you out because of this ball?”
I hadn’t thought of that. “I don’t know. But since the queen isn’t excited about me being human and all . . . the ball is . . . back where they’re from, for sure.” I’ve told her a lot, but I haven’t told her everything.
“A fortnight. I thought shifters’ fated mates knew instantly.”
“Not where they come from.” My heart squeezes again. “I’m going to come home.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I’m in Tokyo now. But Ellen, Kate, and Chanda have a two-day layover in Zurich in a couple of days.”
“Really?” The thought of seeing familiar faces right now is amazing.
“Yeah, they were joking that they should drive down and see you. Do you want them to pick you up?”
“Yes . . . please.” The tears finally start flowing.
“Oh, baby sister. I love you. It’s going to be okay. You’ll make it out of this.”
“I know.” I hiccup. But I’m not sure I will.