Chapter 29 #3
Another stiff nod. “After what I’d experienced in just a few weeks, there was no way I was going to let you suffer the same way.
And Reeve—his life was still at stake, too, both of your fates tied to my decision.
So as much as I despised it—despised myself—I agreed to siphon again, and this time, I stuck with it.
I blocked out the guilt, the pain, the shame, didn’t let myself feel anything other than the power.
It was the only way I could survive.” A weighty pause.
“Until it wasn’t. Because soon enough, the ellixen changed me on such a fundamental level that I stopped caring at all. About anything. Or anyone.”
Braedan curled in on himself, but his words came quicker now, as if he was eager to get the rest over with.
“My compliance meant I was eventually released from my cell and given a lavish living space, but by then, I was so ellixen-high that I didn’t realize the Reaper Lord had stopped threatening Reeve’s life, stopped threatening to go after you, and I was siphoning simply because I wanted to.
Needed to. I’d become a full-blown addict, having no idea that was what the Reaper Lord had intended all along, all so he could use me as a scapegoat for the hunters and Nox to focus on.
He gave me the title of Reaper Priest and the menacing reputation that came with it—a ploy to distract hunters from learning of his existence—then kept me locked in a guarded apartment drugged out of my mind on ellixen.
By that point, the only thing I cared about was my next fix.
I just wanted to get high and stay high. Nothing else mattered.”
He finally turned to Viri, his face haunted as he revealed, “I stayed that way for seven years.”
Seven years.
The whole time he’d been gone.
Tears blurred Viri’s eyes, even as she fought back more nausea.
“Reeve tried to pull me out of it, so many times,” Braedan admitted, looking away again.
“The Reaper Lord released him when he was no longer needed for my cooperation, but instead of a cushy apartment, he was cast out into Diaboros, like a fish among sharks. To this day, I’m amazed he was able to stay alive, something that only happened because he figured out how to use his magic to protect himself, and befriended some young reapers who cared more about atonement than siphoning from him.
By the time he managed to find me again, I was too far gone to even recognize him.
He did everything he could to snap me out of it, told me I needed to fight, reminded me that I’d promised to return to you, but I was beyond listening.
The only thing I cared about was getting more ellixen. ”
Braedan rubbed a hand down his face, but then squared his shoulders.
“That all changed a few months ago, when Reeve learned about the Reaper Lord’s plans to destroy the obelisks.
For seven years, he’d found a way to survive Diaboros and avoided doing anything that might risk the Reaper Lord breaking his deal to stay away from you, but the Aurora Comet changed everything.
If the sacrifice went ahead and the blackmist flooded the city, then you—and everyone—would end up dying anyway.
He realized it was time to act, so he and his friends broke me out of my apartment to wean me off my addiction, all so we could work together to try and stop what was happening. ”
“Sage, Jonas, and Ardin,” Viri guessed.
Braedan nodded. “I hated them at first. I raged and screamed and fought them at every turn, my withdrawal symptoms so violent that they had to be with me constantly to make sure I didn’t hurt myself.
But they were patient, all of them having gone through it themselves, and I was eventually able to tolerate doing what they do—siphoning from reapers. ”
Viri nearly wilted with relief at learning her brother’s blackened veins weren’t from a recent kill, though her heart struggled to make peace with all the years before that—especially since those years were her fault.
Everything he’d done, every child he’d siphoned from…
he’d mentioned blood on his hands, but it wasn’t on his.
It was on hers.
She wasn’t sure how to reconcile that, wasn’t even sure it was possible.
Seven years of murdering innocents, all to keep her safe.
The burden of those deaths weighed heavily on her soul—until she realized that burden wasn’t hers to bear.
The Reaper Lord had done this. He’d forced Braedan’s hand, giving him no choice but to become a monster.
Her brother had committed unspeakable acts, there was no denying it.
But the blame lay squarely at the feet of his captor.
Fury simmered within Viri, but she stifled it—for now—because Braedan was still speaking.
“It’s not the same as fresh ellixen,” he said, “but siphoning from the others keeps my addiction manageable, and also keeps me in control enough to turn my remorse into something practical—a desire to make the Reaper Lord pay for everything he’s done to me, and for everything he plans to do with the Aurora sacrifice. ”
Viri could relate to that desire, her fury rising anew.
“It’s the whole reason I came here to Nevarnost,” Braedan said, “because I realized it was the simplest solution for making sure he never hurts anyone again. Only—”
“You didn’t know about the magical surge that would free the reapers from Diaboros,” Viri said, “and that we need to find a way to stop him that doesn’t end up with him dead.”
Braedan released a frustrated breath. “Yeah. I should have known it wouldn’t be so easy.
But I was so fixated on the idea that if he died, then not only would the city be safe, you would be, too, and Reeve and I would be free to return to you.
” He swallowed and admitted, “I never found out exactly why he wants you. But I—I assume it has something to do with your magic. And that would be…very bad.”
The sudden turn in conversation caught Viri by surprise. “What magic?”
A hesitant pause met her question, until her brother answered, “I said earlier that I needed to work up to starting at the beginning. The truth is, I’d rather not go there at all.
But…there’s something you need to know. Something Mom and Dad never told you.
Something I think caused the obelisk to… do what it did that day.”
Viri’s throat turned dry. “What didn’t they tell me?”
Braedan stood up so fast that she jumped, then began pacing between her and the pond, as if he were too nervous to sit still. But then he halted just as quickly and sat down again, though this time, he angled toward her, taking her hands in his.
“When we were young,” he said in a shaky voice, “Mom and Dad had some friends who lived out on the surface. They had a nice house in a good neighborhood at the edge of Elders’ Grove, but the best part was their yard, because it stretched right into the trees.
You and I used to love visiting, because it meant we got to play in the grass and flowers. ”
“I don’t remember that,” Viri said, frowning. She also didn’t know why he was telling her this.
“You wouldn’t. You were only six or seven months old the last time we went.
You’d just—You’d just started crawling.” His fingers twitched around hers.
“Mom and Dad usually sat outside to keep an eye on us, but that day, their friends wanted to show them something inside, and since you began howling when they tried to take you in with them, I said I was a big boy and could watch you until they returned. You were obsessed with the glowmoths fluttering around their angelrose bushes, so we all assumed you’d just stay there giggling at them, like you always did.
” Guilt bled into his voice. “But I got distracted when a glimmerfox bounded into the garden, and I chased it around, forgetting all about you. By the time Mom and Dad came back out…you were gone.”
Viri started. “Gone? As in abducted?”
Braedan shook his head, though his pale face indicated that whatever he was about to say was worse.
“You’d crawled away, following some glowmoths deeper into Elders’ Grove.
It was early afternoon, nowhere near a risky time of day, but…
that close to Mount Mort, the wards aren’t as strong, and the blackmist is unpredictable.
When Mom and Dad found you, it was already too late. ”
A coldness came over Viri, her body tingling with dread. “Too late for what?”
Braedan’s eyes were full of regret. “A small wave of blackmist had wafted in and back out again, right where you’d crawled. There was nothing anyone could do.”
Numbness replaced the cold, though disbelief had Viri shaking her head. “No one can survive the blackmist. If that really happened, how am I still alive?”
Her brother just looked at her, waiting for her to put the pieces together.
She stared back at him, her heart racing, her thoughts spinning, only one possibility coming to her, but that—that—
“No,” she breathed, tearing her hands from his and leaping to her feet, scrambling backward into a bed of glowing mushrooms. “No.”
“It’s true, Viri,” Braedan said, standing slowly with his palms raised, as if to calm a wild animal.
He was wrong—it wasn’t true. It couldn’t be.
And yet…
“We’ve met twice, actually,” the Guardian had said earlier that night. “Though the first time, you were too young to remember.”
And the second time, she’d used her magewish to forget—a magewish she’d received when she’d met him as a babe.
A dying babe.
…And then a dead babe.
Viri pressed her trembling fingers to her lips as the full weight of her realization hit her. Her eyes were too wide, her breathing too shallow, her heartbeat too fast as she whispered, her words barely audible, “I’m the child in the legend.”