Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Claire
“Deputy Hawkins, I’d like to speak to you for a minute. Privately.” Sheriff McGrath had a pointed look on his face as Vance and I stood to leave his office.
“Yes, sir,” I said as I sat back down, glancing up at Vance.
Vance gave me a quick nod, then excused himself.
Sheriff McGrath didn’t normally make me nervous, but as I waited for him to speak, unwelcome tremors of anxiety made me twitch. The look on his face told me he wasn’t happy.
But when Vance closed the door, giving us privacy, Sheriff McGrath’s shoulders sagged in relief. He took a deep breath, then smiled. “So, Claire, what do you think about being on a real homicide investigation?”
A little smile emerged before I could stop it. “It’s interesting. I’m in over my head, but I’m learning a lot.”
“How’s it been working with Agent Weston?”
“It’s been great,” I answered, choosing not to disclose how he’d given me a tough time at first—or how he’d intended to cut me out of the case.
We were working as partners now, and I wouldn’t throw him under the bus.
And even if he hadn’t turned things around, I wouldn’t complain to Sheriff McGrath about it.
You had to have tough skin to work a job like this. Crying wouldn’t get me anywhere.
“Any leads he hasn’t told me about?” His tone changed just slightly—like he was trying to be casual but couldn’t quite hide the edge to it.
My back tensed. Sheriff McGrath had every right to know how the investigation was proceeding. This town was ultimately his responsibility, not Vance’s, and the primary reason I was on the case was to keep our office in the loop.
But he’d withheld information from us, at least in part to make Mayor Evans happy. Frankly, that was the best-case scenario.
Worst case… I didn’t even want to consider it.
My loyalty had always been to Sheriff McGrath, but all of a sudden, I felt like I was caught in the middle of him and Vance, expected to choose sides for some reason I didn’t fully understand.
That wasn’t right though. My responsibility was to Katelyn.
My loyalty was to justice. To finding the truth.
It hit me like a ton of bricks that, in this case, that might mean Sheriff McGrath and I were on different sides.
Which meant I couldn’t be honest with him about our snowmobile theory, the new boyfriend in Wildwood…
None of it.
“No other leads yet. It’s early though,” I said, hoping he’d find it reassuring. “We’ve only just started.”
He gave me a long look, then nodded, apparently satisfied.
“Let me know if you come across anything. We’re all eager to get this case wrapped up.
Although, in a situation like this, without any real suspects…
Sometimes the case goes cold.” He shrugged.
“No one will hold it against you if that happens. I want you to know that.”
“Right,” I said as an uncomfortable feeling spread throughout me. I looked at him pointedly. “I hope it doesn’t though. Katelyn deserves justice.”
“Absolutely,” he agreed. “I just want you to prepare yourself that it doesn’t always work out that way.
I know from experience that can be tough on an investigator.
You need to be ready to deal with that. It’s like working SAR.
You guys have an exceptional rescue rate.
But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you lose people. ”
“That’s true.” My mind flashed to our unsuccessful missions. Times when we got there an hour or two too late. Or worse, times when we never found the person at all. Their faces haunted my nightmares.
But that wasn’t the end of it. Because even after we failed, we had to tell their families. Those families put their hope in us, praying desperately that we would bring their loved one back safe and whole. Watching them lose that hope, watching their worlds fall apart…
Those faces haunted my nightmares, too.
You never got closure after something like that. And Sheriff McGrath was right—a case that went cold probably felt the same way.
I would not let that happen with Katelyn.
Sheriff McGrath cleared his throat, drawing my attention back to him. “Claire, you’re probably wondering why I picked you to work this case with Agent Weston instead of giving it to one of our more experienced deputies.”
I nodded, giving a half laugh. Forcing myself to act like everything was normal, like I wasn’t sitting here analyzing every word, every movement he made. “Yeah. Honestly, I was surprised you didn’t go with Sergeant Collins. He seemed like the better pick.”
“He’s not real happy with me about that,” Sheriff McGrath admitted. “But you needed it more than he did.”
“Needed it?” My eyebrows rose.
“Yep. I know you’ve struggled finding your place here when there’s not a SAR callout to work. I know the rest of the crew gives you a hard time. Some of the townspeople do too.”
I dropped my gaze, embarrassed. “I didn’t know you knew that.”
“Of course I know that. I have eyes—and ears. I’m aware of what goes on with my people.
” He leaned forward, giving me an earnest look.
“A case like this gives you credibility. You won’t just be the new girl on the job anymore.
People will start seeing you like a seasoned officer—your coworkers and townspeople alike.
And that’s what you need if you’re going to stay and make a career out of this. ”
“I hope so,” I said—though I wondered if I’d ever see myself like a seasoned officer.
Or if I even wanted to anymore.
“I hope so too. I know sometimes we get frustrated with each other”—his mouth turned up in a wry smile—“but I care about you, and I want you to succeed in this job.”
“Thank you,” I said as an odd lump formed in my throat.
I hated this. Hated myself for even suspecting him.
I knew he cared about me, and he’d been a great boss.
Anyone else probably would have fired me for opening my big mouth one too many times.
It was so hard to reconcile the good with the fact that he had deliberately withheld information and was now on our suspect list.
He paused again, drumming his fingers on the table. “Can I give you some advice?”
“Of course.”
“There’s more than one way to approach law enforcement. Some people take a hard-line approach. They see everything as black and white. I haven’t known him long enough to know for sure, but I’m guessing Agent Weston is one of those.” He eyed me as if looking for confirmation.
I kept my face neutral. “I don’t think I’ve worked with him long enough to know.”
“Maybe not.” He cleared his throat and continued.
“Another reason I paired you with him is because you understand that different circumstances call for different responses. In a small town like this, taking a hard-line approach isn’t always the right way.
And in this case, I’d advise you to remember that. ”
That sweeping discomfort returned. “I don’t understand.”
He leaned forward, putting his elbows on the table and twiddling his thumbs.
“Most of us in Wildwood all want the same thing. Peace. Happiness. Freedom. At the end of the day, what we want most is a safe place to raise our kids. My job here is to protect that way of life. To keep the wolves out, so to speak.”
“Sheriff McGrath, what are you trying to say?”
He gave me a friendly smile. “All I’m saying is that you have to know how to differentiate between the good guys and the bad guys.
The bad guys are the ones that threaten our way of life here.
But the rest of the citizens of Wildwood?
They’re the good guys. Sometimes they make mistakes.
We all do. But that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. ”
I studied him, wondering if he was talking about someone else—or himself.
“Working this case,” he continued, “is more than just a chance to prove you’re a seasoned officer. It’s a chance for you to prove that you care about the citizens of Wildwood. That you’re on their side. That you’re here to protect the good guys.”
“Right…” I agreed, trying to sound more convinced than I felt. Because what was I supposed to be protecting them from? It’s not like we had a serial killer on the loose. The only victim was Katelyn Brown—and she hadn’t even been a Wildwood citizen.
“I’m glad we had this talk,” he said, looking relieved. “Be sure to keep me in the loop.”
“I will,” I said, standing at his dismissal. But my mind was racing.
Was he asking me to protect the people in Wildwood by finding Katelyn’s killer?
Or was he asking me to protect him ?