Chapter 23 The Maze of Want #2
“None of this explains why you need me,” I whispered with a glance towards the gap in the hedge. “There are mercenary dragon riders who would do exactly as you wished, when you wished it, purely for money.”
“And I found one of those, yet, I have recently discovered there were more conflicting ties on his purpose and loyalties than I was led to believe. I tire of men whose every step is a ploy to prove to themselves that they are not weakened by working for me. I have learned that women of power are more concerned with results than their own egos. And so… we’re back to you. ”
When I didn’t respond, he leaned in closer. “I also prefer not to align myself with characters whose conduct lacks discipline. And I recently discovered my current ally’s character is… questionable.”
“You discovered this… how?”
“By the way in which he conducted himself when faced with a woman from his past. Relationships are a mirror, Lady Brennan. Ruin’s conduct towards you is… revealing.”
‘Are you hearing this?’ I sent Donavyn as I swallowed and raised my chin.
‘Yes.’ His voice was dark with foreboding.
“Do I want to hear what he’s told you?” I asked finally, to break the silence, then raised a hand towards him. “No, don’t answer that. I know the answer. I do not.”
“And yet again, you show greater restraint and maturity than your former lover.”
“Flattery will not help your cause, Lord Hanson—”
“Just Hanson, I told you.”
“—I cannot decide if you’re misinformed, na?ve yourself, or you know something I don’t.”
His brows drew down. “Explain, please.”
I took the plunge. “Your dragons listen to Ruin…?”
“Not to Ruin himself, but to his dragon, yes,” Hanson admitted.
I nodded, though I wasn’t sure if I was pleased to hear confirmation that Ruin had told the truth. “If they hear Carnage, then you need him. A dragon’s submission to a leader isn’t fickle. And no matter what you’ve told yourself, I will not work with Ruin Galdec in any capacity, ever.”
“You would not need to.”
“Are you not listening? The dragons submit to a leader, a dominant dragon. If they believe Carnage leads them—”
“These dragons listen to the word they are given, they are not submitted or otherwise. These are not your Vosgaarde herd. Trust me.”
I frowned. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why should I trust you? You work with a man who I know to be a rotting pustule, and his dragon leads—or at least, instructs—your dragons. If I abandon the man who’s brought me this far, and without force, to walk into that with you, I am discarding safety for…
things to which I vowed I’d never return. ”
Hanson stepped closer, his gaze avid. “Come with me, and I will discard Ruin and Carnage. Say the word.”
I put a hand to my chest. “You can’t expect me to believe you would just—”
“Give me the blade to cut ties with him. I beg you.”
“You need him—he’s the one who can reach your obedient dragons—”
“Not if you bring the boy.”
I was shocked, and trying to look shrewd. Was this his angle all along?
‘Did he know about Benji when you took him?’ Donavyn asked in my head.
‘No. I had to suggest that… I thought?’
Didn’t I? I knew I hadn’t offered Benji until after I met the dragons. But we hadn’t known Ruin was there. And we had met with Rayv. Had Hanson heard about Benji somehow before that night?
Hanson, thinking my silence meant I was considering his offer, leaned in again.
“I am offering you true freedom, Brennan. Can’t you see that?
I know the men in your life have always used their own power to keep you shackled.
I will not do that. Come with me—choose your dragon, teach me what you know.
We will build this herd together, build a life.
And when it is done and our strength is applied…
you will have your choice to stay or go. ”
I stared at him. Just as I opened my mouth, the shadows at the end of the hedge shifted and I realized Donavyn was there, though I couldn’t look at him.
‘It’s time to leave him wanting. Don’t give him the satisfaction. Keep him uncertain.’
I swallowed and bowed my head to Hanson.
“I apologize, sir. I will need to… consider what you’ve said. I hope you have a good night.”
Hanson visibly tensed with frustration. “What more do you need to know? What more could you possibly want?”
I had started to turn towards the hedge gap, but I stopped and faced him again, a spark of something very real igniting in my chest at his presumption.
“Do you want the truth?”
“Yes!”
“Freedom,” I hissed, thinking not only of Ruin, but of poor Grace and her brave tears and how it felt to believe your future was determined by a man. “Freedom from men who see me as nothing but a vessel for themselves and their goals. Freedom from the wrinkled noses and narrowed eyes and innuendo.”
His lips tightened. “I do not partake in the gossip and ridiculous fluttering of these circles—you’ve seen that!”
“I have seen you set a woman down publicly, humiliate her for bearing a child to a man who was necessary to the act of impregnating her.”
“I did that for you! To retract her claws from you!”
“Rest assured, in future, I will fight my own battles. I have claws of my own—I don’t need an adversary strung up for the laughter of men to win my battles.”
Hanson’s eyes narrowed and he shook his head. “Every time I believe I have pinned down who you are, you prove me wrong.”
“Good.”
“Is it?”
“It is if you are genuine in your desire for partnership, rather than simple victory over another man’s woman.”
“I am.”
“Then I will say again: I need time to consider this. And while I do, please feel free not to fight my battles for me.”
I felt a wash of pride from Donavyn through the bond. Hanson stared at me, gaping. Stunned.
I curtseyed hurriedly, bowing my head. “Thank you for keeping your word and not touching me again. I trust your respect will continue. Goodnight.”
I turned to the hedge.
But he whispered, “I would greatly enjoy touching you, any moment you would choose it, Lady Brennan.”
The hair on the back of my neck stood up, but I didn’t respond. Just walked blindly in the direction that I could feel Donavyn.
The moment I disappeared beyond the hedge, a thick arm shot out and pulled me into his broad chest.
He was blazing with pride and need as he pulled me into a deep kiss that shocked me. I inhaled sharply, though my heart trilled and I kissed him passionately.
When he broke the kiss, it was to stare down at me with pride. ‘You were incredible.’
I almost cried. Instead, I grabbed for his neck and pulled him back into the kiss, almost swallowing his tongue–until we heard giggles and footsteps approaching, and Donavyn drew back with a strangled sigh and dragged me around another corner to a strange gap in the hedge.
When we were hidden again, I stretched to my toes and reached for him to pull him back down, but he resisted, his eyes darkening, searching mine.
‘What is it? What’s wrong? Why did you leap into me like that? Did he touch you?’
Dropping to my heels, I exhaled heavily and grimaced. ‘No. But… I’m sick of feeling filthy for wanting.’
He stroked my cheek and shook his head. ‘Your want is beautiful, not dirty.’
I leaned into him. ‘Remind me. Please?’
A chatter of nobles staggered past, just beyond us, and he wrapped an arm around me, pulling me deeper into the hedge, then through a low gap, then another, until we’d entered a small, square space, lined in hedge, with another tree, but no benches this time… and no visible gap.
“Where—”
‘The king’s secret spot. He showed it to us with pride. Your benches are twenty feet that way.’
Then, before I could respond, he took my hand and tugged me into the shadows under the tree, turned me around and pinned me against it with his body.
As he descended on me with a rushing breath, I grasped for his lapels and pulled him into a heated kiss that sent jolts through my belly.