Chapter 32
~ brEN ~
The moment I rounded the intersection of hallways, I sent the servant ahead to reassure Donavyn that I was on my way. Then I slipped into an alcove to press a hand to my pounding heart and assess my options.
Ruin had been heading back to his room where Voski had entered to search. If Ruin discovered him…
But what more could I do? I’d given Ruin reason to send a message, and delivered my warning. If I went back now…
I shook my head. I had to trust that Voski was sly enough to have hidden, or escaped. Get shit done. That order was for all of us, right?
I stayed a short time in that alcove, breathing deeply, praying for Voski’s safety, and making sure I could think straight. Then I started towards the ballroom as if nothing had happened.
Walking down the brightly lit corridor that led to the banquet hall was surreal.
The space was wide enough to drive a carriage through.
Servants passed in and out in droves, noblewomen returned in clusters from powder rooms. Men smoked or retreated together for cards.
So much activity. So much normalcy. Did they really have no idea what was happening around them?
Lights sparkled at the edge of my vision. My skin hummed with unspent fear, and my body insisted danger lurked somewhere nearby.
And it did, of course. But it was back in its bedchamber right now, hopefully not executing my squad brother and Shadowfang Wing Leader.
I sent up yet another hurried prayer for Voski’s safety and picked up my pace towards the first set of large, double-doors that opened into the hall—only to see a large, dark, grim form on the other side of the corridor talking to a very familiar looking, hooded servant.
Voski? How had he gotten here so quickly?
I felt the rush of relief in Donavyn when he looked at me over Voski’s shoulder and I turned to join them, fighting to keep my face straight.
I hadn’t even taken a pace before Donavyn stepped aside to move in my direction and Voski turned, trotting towards the main lobby where he could leave the castle.
I didn’t watch him leave, didn’t draw attention to the servant merely informing Donavyn of a message.
But I couldn’t wait to find out how he’d gotten out, and down here before me.
“My Love, there are you are…” Donavyn said through his teeth, barely sketching a vow before taking my elbow and leading me slowly, back along the wide corridor.
‘What the fuck, Bren?’
“Apologies for my late arrival. Is everything well?” I asked timidly, as if his anger worried me, nervously eyeing the servants passing us on both sides.
‘I ran into Voski in the halls, and we saw Grace, then Voski saw Ruin leave… it all happened too fast to let you know. I couldn’t reach you and Grace said she’d let you know I was safe.’
“I have received a missive by the king’s own hand. Good news from home, actually. Just a few details to discuss before we return to the celebrations.”
‘Grace did tell me, but… dear God. Voski said you confronted Ruin?!’
I grimaced, because that entire exchange had passed in a blur. I’d moved and spoken on instinct, and now I realized… I’d given a lot away. But it was for a purpose!
‘You need to get Benji into the city. I gave Ruin reason to send another message. Soon. Tomorrow morning at the latest. I think I got under his skin.’
‘Shit. Are you harmed? Did he—’
‘We only spoke—though I was forced to touch him, to make him think I wasn’t scared of him.’
Neither of us put words to it, but I knew my insides coiled with revulsion, and he could feel that. Donavyn’s grip on my arm tightened.
‘Curse this fucking banquet. We can’t disappear, Bren. The queen already commented that you were late.’
‘She’s waiting to see my gown, I think.’
Donavyn frowned, then looked down at me, and his eyes widened. A moment later, he stepped back, taking my hand and drawing me into the nearest alcove, tugging me to the corner, behind the sweep of the curtain.
There was no true privacy here with all the foot traffic in the hallway, but he put himself between me and them, and held my hand, extending my arms, and staring at me.
“He saw you in this?” he growled.
I put a hand to his chest and sighed. “I wished it had been you,” I said honestly. ‘But in the end… well, it served our purpose. He hasn’t taken me as a true threat before this, but I think he will now.’
Donavyn’s throat bobbed, but his eyes rose from my body to meet mine. ‘What did you tell him?’
Shit, I hoped I hadn’t fucked everything up. ‘I gave him proof that I was a true Furyknight and Shadowfang and that he hadn’t been trusted with as much information as he believed. He was… off-balance. He’ll check with his sources, I’m sure.’
Donavyn’s gaze darkened. ‘He knows?’
‘For certain. But I’m confident he didn’t before tonight. He thought I was a distraction. A ploy. Now he’s nervous because whoever he’s talking to hadn’t told him the whole story. It just came to me, and it felt right. Now he needs to communicate with whomever, back home.’
Donavyn’s jaw rolled and he turned his head aside, his eyes darting left and right as if he were looking for something in the reaches of his mind.
I waited for his verdict, terrified I’d spoken hastily and not—
Donavyn’s eyes snapped back to mine and he searched me. “It’s a valid choice,” he breathed. ‘He won’t know what to think of that—and you’ve provided us another opportunity to intercept his writings—and to gain insight into whomever he trusts the most.’
My heart rose in my chest and I breathed a little bit easier, though my hands were still shaking.
He stared at me a moment longer, then cleared his throat. “You’re trembling,” he said in a low rumble.
“It’s just nerves,” I whispered.
He’d been scanning my body again, but now he locked in. ‘Tell me the truth—are you well enough to do this tonight? Hanson’s waiting impatiently for you. But no doubt Ruin will also appear soon. If it’s too much—’
‘No,’ I sent more confidently than I felt. ‘We need to press the advantage. Let Ruin see me with Hanson, knowing that I have a lot more to offer than he thought. And we have so little time… I can’t lose an opportunity to get more out of Hanson.’
Donavyn’s jaw tightened, but he cupped my face. “Well done.” He said the words like a comfort and something inside me broke open. I sank into his chest, grateful when his arms wrapped around me and he held me. Tears pricked for a moment—I’d had to touch Ruin!—but I swallowed them back quickly.
Well done. God, it felt so good to hear that.
‘Did he hurt you?’
‘Only with words.’
‘What did he—’
‘Not now. Please.’ I pulled back to meet his worried gaze again. ‘I can’t focus on that right now. I need to get back there before Ruin does so they don’t think I’m with him.’
‘You’re arriving back on my arm. They’ll assume we’ve been off somewhere arguing about you making me wait… or having a tryst.’
A surge fizzed in my belly at the mental image that word conjured, and Donavyn pulled me back into a hug and kissed my temple.
But I knew we didn’t have time for any kind of real comfort.
And to distract myself from thoughts of it that would only frustrate me, I took those seconds to question Donavyn.
‘How did Voski get out of his rooms before I left? We were standing right outside!’
‘I didn’t know to ask. But I’m sure he’ll tell you. The dragons don’t call him Goldfinger for nothing. Nothing he touches seems to go wrong. He’s a good man to have nearby in a pinch.’
Donavyn squeezed me tighter for a moment, before letting go, then cupping my face. “Are you certain you’re up to doing this tonight?”
I nodded, and held his forearms. My smile was shaky, but genuine, as I nodded.
‘I am. I was scared—you felt that, I’m sure—but I got through it.
And it felt so good to shake him up. He didn’t know about me, Donavyn.
I’m certain of it. So… he can’t be the mole, right?
Because it really bothered him that I could surprise him.
And… I told him that I have the queen’s ear, and the king raised me to First Rank—he was unsettled.
I know him. He was covering, but I know him well enough. He’s uneasy now.’
Pride and fury chased each other across Donavyn’s features, but he didn’t give voice to whatever angered him about Ruin, instead, he shook his head slowly and smiled.
‘My mate, the spy.’
I snorted, but then grew brave and asked him the last of my questions. ‘Are you upset that I spoke to him? Touched him? That I told him about me—the real me, I mean? It seemed so right at the time, but I wasn’t thinking things through. Just reacting. And I was worried—’
‘I said, well done, Bren, and I meant it. I loathe that you had to touch him, but you made a call. Now we use that. I’ll get Benji into the city, just in case.
’ I smiled and felt a little easier—until Donavyn pulled me closer and his gaze grew dark.
‘Just, please… don’t take any more risks with him.
Don’t approach him again alone—not unless it’s necessary. ’
‘It was.’
‘I know—that’s why I’m applauding you. But don’t let it make you complacent.
He may be unsettled, but he’s also more experienced than you.
He’ll be on edge now until he gets his answers.
Don’t push him further. You landed a blow.
Now let him simmer on it. Let him send his missives and see what he gets back. ’
‘I would happily never lay eyes on that man again.’
Donavyn huffed. ‘That makes two of us.’
We both went quiet then. I knew we had to get back. But I wondered… ‘Do you think he really is trying to be a hero, Donavyn? Do you think he’s doing the right thing here, even though he’s a dark bastard?’
Donavyn sighed and looked away from me again, his face grim.
‘I truly don’t know. And the bugger of it is, I can’t tell if I’m uncertain because I don’t want to believe he could do the right thing.
Or if it’s God’s insistence not to trust him.
All I know for sure, is that I don’t. And I won’t.
Even if he does good for the kingdom here, he’s a monster.
And I’ll make certain he’s tried and convicted as one. ’
We pulled each other close for one last embrace and Donavyn stroked my hair. “You look beautiful,” he croaked.
“Thank you. You’re very handsome.”
He didn’t even react, just pulled away and took my hand. “Are you ready to face tonight’s gauntlet?” ‘Do you remember our plan?’
I nodded, though inwardly I sighed. After our small argument yesterday, tonight, Donavyn and I were to portray lovers in tension. A facade neither of us relished. But it was to offer the wary Hanson hope that I could be drawn away
I squeezed Donavyn’s hand, then took a deep breath and swept out of the alcove quickly, praying my cheeks were still red from my nerves, leaving Donavyn to follow me out in the hallway, glaring at my back, as if we’d just argued.
I ducked my head and refused to meet any eyes in the corridor, praying the servants saw what we wanted them to see: Lovers who’d argued—or worse—and who were attempting to cover.
It was imperative that if words were whispered about me tonight, they had nothing to do with Ruin or dragons.
I couldn’t let anyone focus on anything other than the potentially brittle nature of my relationship with Donavyn.