Chapter 44 A Time to Grow
~ DONAVYN ~
I stood in Horace’s inn, not even bothering to cover my face.
I wanted any watchers to see me, stern, barking commands at Horace’s people like they were my personal servants.
I wanted them to see me mutter through gritted teeth and yank the new servant boy—Benji—out by his ear.
Let Ruin hear of my appearance, and wonder what it meant.
Let the question eat at him until he sought me.
Benji yelped when I grabbed him, but by the time I dragged him down the busy street outside, he was sullen, his jaw set and eyes flat.
When I loosened my grip, he yanked his elbow out of my hand and glowered at me from the side.
“My apologies if that hurt,” I said quietly so it wouldn’t be heard if anyone had followed us. “But there was a need to make a scene.”
Benji’s jaw jutted forward, but he didn’t respond. He held the arm like it hurt, but he was resisting rubbing it. I sighed.
“The good news is that we’re going straight to the dragons,” I added even more quietly.
Benji’s posture shifted and he glanced up at me from the side, matching my lowered voice when he spoke. “Which ones?”
“The herds,” I said, unwilling to give any potential listeners more information.
Benji nodded and his expression lightened.
Then he looked at me and blinked, frowning as if he’d just remembered he was angry.
But he didn’t complain as he followed me through the city.
He relaxed as the minutes passed, his attention drawn by the sights of the city, though these were the poorest quarters, and there were as many working women to see as drunkard men.
I caught the tightening in his shoulders at the sight of one drunk stumbling out of a tavern, despite the early hour.
I remembered my initial impressions of the boy—that he’d likely fled abuse and neglect—and cursed myself for not remembering to pursue further questioning with him.
“You know, I never asked: Where did you come from when you arrived at the Keep, Benji?” I asked casually as we strode out of the gates in the thick walls of Emberholt and onto the rutted road southwest.
His shoulders hunched and the hunted look returned to his gaze as he glanced up at me without turning his head. “The villages,” he said warily.
“Which one? Were you raised near the palace?”
“No.”
I sighed, but I supposed I couldn’t blame the boy for his punctured pride when I’d berated him like a child in front of an inn’s dining room.
I didn’t miss that, despite his anger, he walked with a determined air, and matched me stride for stride.
Whether he was angry or not, this trip had been good for him.
Both in confidence, and his growth as a young man.
Kgosi told me he stood on the cusp of adulthood, and for the first time I saw it in the way he scanned the landscape ahead of us and walked at my side as if he belonged there, rather than the cowering, excitable puppy he’d been months earlier.
I rubbed my jaw and made a mental note to speak to Barak, the Furymaster in Vosgaarde, about him. Benji would be joining his office officially when we returned. I had a hunch we needed to grow Benji in his character and perspective on himself as a man, as much as his talent with the dragons.
Then it occurred to me: There might not be a Furymaster for me to return to. If we didn’t succeed in this mission, I may not survive the coming days.
‘That is not the mindset for wisdom, Donavyn.’ We were getting close to Kgosi, and he’d heard my shadowed thoughts. I sent him reassurance in the bond, but kept my focus on the boy—no, young man—next to me. We had a job to do and I needed to handle him correctly in it.
Benji was growing. A phase I recognized among prospects at the Keep—and sometimes even the younger Flameborne. A new maturity. The months when a boy grew up and became quieter. And often, in his increasing awareness of the world and his place in it, darker as well.
I didn’t have time to explore this shift properly on this mission. But if I still had a hand in his oversight beyond these days, he needed to trust me.
We’d made it far enough along the road there were no other travelers close enough to overhear us, so before we would leave the road and duck into the nearby woods to find Kgosi in that clearing, I cleared my throat to get Benji’s attention.
“As you might have gathered, events in Fyrehold have shifted beyond our first… expectations.”
Benji looked up at me, wary curiosity in his gaze, but he didn’t speak.
“We’ll be riding the Primarch again, but we move with a different purpose this time,” I added quietly.
Benji looked around—in the direction of the clearing where he’d met the dragons in the past—then pointedly back at me. “Is Bren here?”
“No.”
“Where is she?”
“Never you mind about Furyknight Kearney, she has her own orders. I’m here to give you yours.”
Benji’s expression darkened at that, but he just shrugged, so I let it go.
“Listen,” I continued. “You’re coming with me to the dragons, and this time, we aren’t leaving until we have some clarity. Kgosi is coming with us, and he won’t balk from intervening—but it would be better if you speak to the dragons first and encourage them to accept Kgosi willingly.”
“He can force himself on them?” Benji forgot his anger and looked shocked.
I nodded. “But I’m sure you know, Kgosi doesn’t like to force himself anywhere he isn’t wanted. So… you have a very important role to play, Benji. You are… an ambassador this morning.”
But Benji’s frown reappeared. “He’s going to break their minds if I can’t get them to talk?”
‘I need to understand these dragons, and free them if possible,’ Kgosi inserted, and I was stunned to realize he’d reached for Benji as well. The boy’s face paled, but then his brow furrowed.
“How can he free them if he’s… violent?”
I looked at Benji, surprised. “You understand what kind of violation that is for a dragon?”
“Of course. Don’t you?”
I didn’t—or rather, hadn’t. Not truly. Not the depth of it. How had this boy—
‘He was a child when he came to us. He’s been taught by the herd, as any child would be—manners, boundaries, self-discipline. The dragons recognized Lionheart for what he was before you and your brothers did, Donavyn.’
I wanted to point out that the dragons might have filled us all in on that sooner, but it wasn’t the time. We were marching between trees at that point, and ahead the sunlight poked through more brightly. We were about to reach my dragon.
When we finally broke through the trees, Benji’s face lit up at the sight of Kgosi, and my dragon turned, grunting a greeting I hadn’t heard from him before. He nudged the boy when Benji trotted towards him and I gave Kgosi a look.
‘Where’s my hug?’
‘Envy doesn’t become you, Donavyn. The boy is hurting.’
‘He is?!’
‘He is. And he admires you, but is conflicted about your choices. I understand why information must only be shared in measures among your kind, but perhaps you can don your big-boy leathers and let me encourage him a bit.’
I huffed, chastened, but also irritated. Yet, there was no time for childish pouting. I was about to help Benji mount, but he grabbed Kgosi’s harness strap and clambered up his side like a monkey.
‘Well, if anyone chooses him, he won’t have to battle to learn mounting,’ I sent Kgosi dryly.
Moments later, we were in the air, and I felt the air around Benji shift as he stared ahead, clinging to Kgosi’s neck, his first smile of the day creeping up.
The flight to Hanson’s estate was shorter from the city, but still long minutes. I considered asking Kgosi to connect us for conversation, but I found myself weary and weighted, and I didn’t want that communicated to the boy.
So, I waited until Kgosi landed on a hillside, not far from the herd clearing, and we’d dismounted.
Benji turned from Kgosi the moment his feet hit the ground, as if he’d run to them. But I called him back.
Kgosi was already rumbling. Head high, ears flickering.
‘What is it?’
‘They sense me and they are… unsettled,’ Kgosi replied darkly.
“Benji, this is very important,” I said, watching the top of the hill as we climbed together, Kgosi hanging back behind us, though he would follow. “The dragons are uneasy about Kgosi’s presence.”
“They think he’s going to hurt them—and they aren’t wrong,” Benji said darkly.
I looked at him, a little shocked. “Kgosi would never hurt another dragon—”
“If he forces himself on them, they will be hurt… sir,” he added reluctantly, a moment too late.
“Which is why we’ve brought you here. If they’re sharing their unease with you, you need to reassure them. Tell them that Kgosi comes, not to conquer, but to assist.”
“They won’t believe me. They have very… narrow views.” His expression said he wasn’t sure he’d gotten the right words for the thought.
“Well, start with the truth: We know they’ve been held here. We know the men who are holding them. Kgosi comes to assist, because we have reason to believe at least one of those men, if not both, are harming them. Kgosi wants to protect them.”
“He won’t do that by forcing his way—”
I caught Benji’s arm and turned him to face me, and for a split second it looked like the boy would face off.
His hands clenched and his shoulders squared.
He turned on me with a scowl, eyes dark and intent.
But when I didn’t move, only stared down, waiting…
he dropped his challenging gaze. Though his hands remained in fists.
“You know my dragon, at least to a point. Do you really believe Kgosi has any intention of, or desire to harm them?”
Benji’s jaw rolled. “No,” he admitted. “But Kgosi’s bonded with you, and it’s pretty obvious that dragons don’t always Choose good men,” he added with an edge of defiance.
I folded my arms. “Do you believe I have any ill-intent towards the dragons?”
He looked away, towards the clearing, then reluctantly shook his head. “No. I suppose not.”