Chapter 50 Ready to Fall
~ brEN ~
You can’t be the mistress of a dead man…
He was lying. He had to be lying. ‘Akhane?’
‘I don’t know, Bren. It’s been so painful—I don’t know!’
My knees wobbled and I braced, finding my balance, head spinning. No! They were alive, they had to be. But Ruin remained in front of me, a screaming testimony to the fact that something had gone horribly wrong. Again.
“Bren? Keep going!” Terra had appeared above me at the edge of the launch hollow, her eyes sad, arms folded, and jaw tight as she scanned the hollow and stared accusations at the men.
She believed me.
I couldn’t make this easy for him. He couldn’t just tell them lies and turn all of them against us.
I faced Ruin once more, who smiled maliciously, eyes narrowed and shaking his head as if I should be ashamed.
And for a split-second it worked. I knew most of these men didn’t know me.
Knew they’d known and admired him for years.
Knew that in their eyes, I didn’t belong here.
And he, whom they did trust, told them that I’d been the one to set up Donavyn. Of course they’d believe that.
But it wasn’t true.
I felt that familiar weight. The knowing of what was in the minds of others, planted by him. And a low, heated wave of rage washed over me. It made me want to weep—and scream in defiance.
This is what Ruin had always done. He made me worthless in the eyes of others. Left me in a position of weakness and shame.
Not anymore. I raised my chin and stared him down.
As Ruin continued to spew the worst of his lies, trying to turn all these men on me, I cursed and shook my head, denying every word.
When he faced me, smug and sure of his victory, I walked right up to his toes. “Lies. It’s all fucking lies. You traitor,” I hissed.
He scoffed. “That’s the best you’ve got, Bren?” he asked me quietly.
“She’s got a helluva lot more than that,” a deep, confident voice said.
I fought a smile as dark shadows appeared at my back—my brothers gathering.
All of them except Gil and Voski, who I prayed had stayed close to Donavyn and were helping him and Kgosi get back here from Fyrehold.
But the implications of Carnage being here without them threatened to undo me, so I pushed the thoughts away.
Ronen, Einar, Harle, Oros, and Jhoare… they clustered behind me, all in fighting leathers, hands fisted at their sides, staring daggers at Ruin.
“Thank you,” I murmured to them. “But leave this prick to me.”
Then I faced Ruin again. His expression had flattened, but he still stared at me with that edge of self-satisfied light in his eyes.
I opened my mouth to refute his lies, but almost shattered as he shook his head and flapped a hand at me like I was nothing but a little girl who’d stumbled into an adult’s conversation.
Fire ran in my veins at his dismissal. He looked up at the men now beginning to gather near the stables at the top of the launch hollow and opened his arms. “Yes, I’m the villain, don’t you know?
The one the king trusts. You’ve all seen me work—but her?
Doubtful. I’m telling you, we have an infection to carve out of our ranks—”
Ronen had stepped up to my shoulder and leaned into my ear, but I shook my head.
“No,” I hissed through my teeth, then darted after Ruin, kicking the back of his knee on his next step so that it gave and he jerked.
He cursed as his weight dropped to that side.
I caught his wrist, slid one foot behind his ankle and yanked him completely off balance, almost flipping him, but my angle was wrong.
Ruin staggered to find his balance, cursing me and bringing his strength to bear as he found his footing—his eyes flaming with hatred and malice.
“You little—”
I threw the heel of my hand straight up, under his chin—it should have clacked his teeth together and jarred him out of sense for a moment, but he snapped his head aside at the very last second, so I only caught the side of his jaw and ear.
“You… fucking… liar!” I screamed, throwing punch after punch, a knee towards his groin, a fist or foot at every opening as Ruin first ducked, then blocked, then backed off a step and laughed at me.
“Bren,” Ronen growled. “Let us—”
“No!” I snarled and flew at Ruin, my heart raging and breaking in the same moment, every ounce of frustration, fear, and fury he’d ever sparked in me, coming in punch after punch…
And he blocked them all.
Oh, I made him flinch. Even got one shot to his ribs that made him grunt. But he was a foot taller than me, had been training for years longer. He was broad and strong, and even when I made him sweat, he blocked me easily enough to manage the odd chuckle, or patronizing comment.
“They have been training you, haven’t they, Brenny?” he seethed, still smiling. “And aren’t you lovely when you’re angry.”
“Shut up, you putrid fuck!”
But my limbs were beginning to loosen and shake. I’d been weak, hadn’t slept enough, or eaten well for days. We’d flown through chill and fear and without enough rest. And though I could see the weariness at the corners of Ruin’s eyes as well, the truth was, he was in far better shape than me.
And it made me so angry.
Where are you, God, when these awful, evil men win?
Where are you when they hurt us?
Why are you letting him laugh at me?
Then that little voice reminded me: I’d never been made to beat Ruin at his own game. I had to make him lose to mine.
I scrambled back panting, letting it look as if I’d given up, while I took a moment to consider our position and the number of witnesses.
Ruin smiled, seeing victory in my apparent retreat.
Tears pricked the backs of my eyes and raised a lump in my throat.
But I refused to give in. I had to give as much time as I could for as many more eyes and ears to arrive as possible.
I needed everyone here. And more importantly, their dragons.
‘Akhane, call them. Call all of them—the dragons. Any who can hear you. Tell them to come here now.’
‘I will, Bren. But the wild ones overhead… those in flight are overwhelmed. Only those already grounded will be here quickly. But don’t be discouraged—I will tell them. I will show all of them what happens here.’
As Ruin turned his back on me to spew more lies, men began to appear from the stables and the Academy, gathering quickly, some who’d been here already trotting down the sides of the launch hollow to surround us.
And the dragons… groans and whistles filled the air as they lumbered out of the stable and from the grounds.
They stayed further away, but I knew they could hear.
And Akhane would tell any that were out of reach.
My brothers were nervous. Hovering. But Ronen had heard me snap at them to stay out of it, and he kept the others back, spreading out to give us space, but not let anyone else in to help Ruin, either.
The moment I needed came when Ruin was distracted by a comment from someone watching, and he turned his back, believing I was already beaten.
I threw a kick at his side, below his elbow, hoping to catch that tender spot that would leave him breathless and his lowest rib singing—but he whirled, tucked his elbow and threw that forearm arm wide, catching my ankle in his fist… and pulled me off my feet, taking me down to the dirt.
I tumbled to the earth with a cry, pretending I was broken, but scrambling at my jacket as Ronen and my brothers rushed forward to help.
Time dragged to a crawl.
I was on the ground, Ruin’s weight pinning me, his smiling face filling my vision. We were far enough from the others that they wouldn’t hear a whisper—but not for long.
So, as I struggled, I threw my mind open to Akhane—giving her everything. Every memory. Every feeling. Every fear. Telling her to use what she could and to tell the dragons to keep my brothers back.
‘Share all of it, Akhane. And let the dragons see and hear what I can see and hear.’
Then I scowled at Ruin’s smug face. “They might think you’re a good man, but we both know the truth.”
His smile grew. “It’s not my fault you’re a horny little filly, Brenny.”
I screamed at him like a cat, struggling until I saw stars, and he laughed, holding me so I couldn’t move. But I kept my mind open to Akhane and through tears of pure rage, I seethed. “I didn’t want you or your brothers that day, you bastard.”
“Aw, but you took us all so well,” he purred.
“Is that the kind of loyalty you show the king?” I whimpered, showing Akhane my memories—Ruin’s lies, those men invited into our private clinch, the fear and pain…
“The king is my brother,” he chuckled. “Don’t blame yourself, Bren. You were never able to win. I know plenty of men who’d win for you if you’d just stop fighting the truth of what you are.”
I slumped in his grip and he beamed. He thought I was giving up, but I just shook my head at him. “Do you really believe you’ll never pay for your crimes—against me, or this kingdom?” I asked him quietly.
He leaned in and I mentally screamed at Akhane to listen and share with the others.
“It’s not a crime when the king sets the mission, Bren. Don’t you understand yet?” He tipped his chin so his breath fluttered in my ear. “I’m doing exactly what I was told to do. That makes you the problem.”
I shuddered at the sensation of his breath on my neck, but it wasn’t me who raised a scream of protest. It was one of the dragons.
Ruin was so busy smiling at me, he didn’t notice the sudden shift in the herd around the launch hollow, the raised heads and fluttering wings. Akhane had shown them—and just as I suspected, it had never occurred to Ruin that I’d share such shame with my dragon.
The man who obscured everything. Who lied always. Who hid his mind… he’d never expect me to show my weakness to the herd.