Chapter 16
Brigid
I decide to take Tiernan up on his offer.
He leads me through winding corridors, out into the cool night air. Silvery moonlight bathes the academy grounds, and the wind rustles the trees.
We pass by the metal gate that leads to the poison garden and I shudder, remembering my encounter there with Callen. I briefly wonder if I should be going anywhere with a guy I’ve basically just met, when everything at Grimstone has me so off-kilter and confused.
I think this for half a second before I remember about Tiernan’s abilities, then try to shut down the thought and think about anything else.
I think about Fiona and our last conversation in the coffee shop.
The pink rabbit vibrator.
No no no! Anything but that .
Too late.
It’s literally all I can think about.
As we walk, I’m picturing the bright pink sex toy and it will not go away .
Tiernan stops and turns back to me.
My eyes are wide as I’m still trying to get the thoughts of a hot pink vibrator hopping itself across a table out of my damn head.
I hope he’s not reading my mind right now.
I see Tiernan has the tiniest smile playing at the corner of his mouth, and I sigh.
One day without embarrassing myself doesn’t seem like too much to ask. And yet, I can’t seem to manage it, here or anywhere. To his credit, Tiernan says nothing, just gestures with his arm for me to walk into a grove of trees to our right.
The grove is like something out of a storybook. Massive ancient oaks form a natural cathedral, their branches intertwining overhead to create a living canopy. Moonlight filters through, dappling the forest floor in an diaphanous glow. The air feels different here—charged, alive.
Tiernan steps into the center and motions for me to join him. "This place is sacred," he says softly. "The trees remember things we've long forgotten."
I move to stand beside him, keenly aware of his presence, but the embarrassment from earlier fades as I take in the otherworldly beauty around us.
"It's incredible," I breathe.
"Close your eyes," Tiernan instructs. "Listen to the whispers of the leaves, feel the energy pulsing through the earth."
I do as he says, surprised to find I can actually sense what he's describing.
Tiernan moves to the center of the grove and sits cross-legged on the ground. The dark green of his shirt is almost black in the moonlight, but I can see the subtle rippling of the fabric as he moves. The fabric hangs loosely over his lean frame, even so it’s evident that his muscles are toned and strong. I notice the simple bracelets he wears, woven around small polished stones.
He pats the space beside him. "Come, sit with me."
I hesitate for a moment, then join him on the forest floor. The earth is cool beneath me, though not cold like it should be for this time of year, and I can feel a faint pulsation.
"Feel that?" Tiernan asks, his voice reverent. "That's the heartbeat of the earth."
I nod, not trusting myself to speak. The vibration is subtle but unmistakable, like a giant slumbering beneath us, deep in the ground.
"Close your eyes," he instructs. "Breathe deeply. Let the rhythm of the earth sync with your own heartbeat."
I try to mimic his breathing, but my mind's going in a million different directions. How the heck am I supposed to sync to the earth's heartbeat when I can barely control my own?
"Relax," Tiernan says, like he's reading my thoughts. Maybe he is . "Let go of your expectations. Just be."
Easy for him to say. I've spent years building walls, keeping everyone out. How do I tear them down, just like that?
But I try. I focus on the cool earth beneath my palms, the whispering of the wind through the leaves on the tall trees.
I do as he says, inhaling the rich scent of loamy ground and decaying, fallen leaves. As I focus on my breathing, the drumming intensifies. It's not just beneath me anymore; it's inside me, pulsing through my veins.
"Good," Tiernan murmurs. "Now, reach out with your mind. Feel the shadows around you."
I furrow my brow, confused. "But how do I command them?”
Tiernan chuckles softly, the sound warm and rich in the stillness of the grove. "You don't command magic, Brigid. It's not a dog you can order to sit or stay."
I crack open one eye, giving him a skeptical look. "Then how am I supposed to control it?"
He smiles, patient as ever. "Think of it like breathing. You don't consciously command your lungs to expand and contract with every breath, do you?"
I shake my head.
"Your magic is the same way. It's a part of you, as natural as the blood in your veins or the thoughts in your mind. It responds to your will without needing to be commanded."
As he speaks, I notice the shadows around us seem to deepen, swirling lazily at the edges of my vision.
"Your magic responds to you, to your emotions, to your intentions. It's an ebb and flow between your conscious and subconscious mind. The shadows are a part of you, as much as your beating heart is a part of you."
I open my eyes, frowning. "But don’t I have to wave my hands, or a wand or something?" I saw other students doing that on the training grounds.
Tiernan shakes his head, a wry smile playing at his lips. "That's mostly all for show. Window dressing. The real power comes from within."
He reaches out, picking a leaf up off the ground. As I watch, it darkens in his palm, edges curling as if burning, but there's no flame. "See? No fancy gestures, no incantations. Just intent and connection."
The leaf crumbles to ash, scattering in the breeze.
I stare at Tiernan's empty palm. “I'm not sure I can do that."
"You can," he says softly. "Your power is different from mine, but no less potent. Close your eyes again. Feel the shadows around you. Don’t try to command them. Let them come to you."
I obey, letting my eyelids flutter shut. The darkness behind them seems alive, pulsing.
"Now, imagine the shadows responding to your touch."
I sense something shift. It's like dipping my fingers into cool water, but... darker. More substantial.
"Good," Tiernan murmurs. "Now, allow your shadows to shape themselves. They—you—already know what to do."
In my mind's eye, I see the shadows coalescing, twisting into...
"Open your eyes, Brigid."
I do, and gasp. A shadow hovers above my outstretched hand. It's not solid, more like smoke taking form, but unmistakably bird-shaped.
"I...did that?" I whisper, afraid speaking too loudly will dispel the illusion.
Tiernan says nothing. I glance up at him and his brow is furrowed.
The shadowy bird dissipates as my concentration breaks. I look at Tiernan, suddenly desperate to know more. "How did you learn to control your magic?"
He's quiet for a moment, but then it’s like he shakes something off and he speaks."It wasn't easy," he finally says. "I grew up in a druid enclave. Magic was as natural as breathing there, but..." He trails off, a shadow crossing his face.
"But what?" I prod gently.
Tiernan sighs. "Not everyone approved of the direction my abilities took. Like any magic, nature magic can be— unpredictable. Dangerous, even."
I nod, thinking of my own struggles with my visions and my drawings. "I get that."
He meets my eyes. “It's a delicate balance between restraint and release."
As we talk, I find myself relaxing. There's something about Tiernan that makes me feel understood.
"Thank you. For showing me this."
Tiernan's smile is gentle. "I’ve not really done anything, Brigid. You're just beginning to understand your own power."
My power. What does that even mean? I think of the shadows that have haunted me, the visions that leave me shaking. Is that power? I think of what I overheard about the Raven King.
"I don't know if I want power," I mumble, wrapping my arms around myself. "I just want... normal."
Tiernan's eyes darken. "Normal is overrated," he says, his voice low. "And often a lie."
I look at him sharply, sensing there's more to his words than he's letting on. But before I can ask, he stands, offering me his hand.
"It's getting late. We should head back."
I take his hand. As we walk back towards the dormitories, the shadows seem to dance at the edge of my vision.