Chapter 32
CHAPTER
THIRTY-TWO
LINCOLN
A nger, being a fleeting and rudimentary emotion, is not something people hold on to. It ends up transforming into bitterness and resentment.
Except for Mikael.
His anger became frozen in that moment from his childhood, reliving it repeatedly until his brain simply couldn’t process anything else. He wasn’t able to move on from that. And now, his unprocessed anger pulsates through our system and is slowly bleeding into me.
It is difficult to explain the sensation of gradually disintegrating—the blending and melting that occurs. Scientifically, this process is referred to as fusion, although the terminology is inconsequential since I won’t be around in the end.
The house is dark and silent as Summer and I make our way upstairs. It’s well past ten PM; Summer and I have been downstairs for twenty-four hours. The trees rustle in the wind outside, shaking the house, breaking the stillness of the night.
All traces of the party have been cleared away. Hushed whispers and laughter echo from the parlor room, where Xander usually hangs out.
Mikael is well hidden, harboring a deep hatred for Xander, but he’s very much blurring the lines of my consciousness and identity. It’s hard right now to distinguish myself from him.
Before I grew from a fragment to an alter, Xander wasn’t nice to Mikael. He was the weird boy his grandmother adopted and kept hidden from society. Xander’s taller stature didn’t help Mikael’s cause, either.
Dr. Garcia, being the perceptive woman she is, always kept him apart. And this was not for his sake; she did that for Xander because Mikael would have killed him, eventually.
Xander is three years younger than Mikael and came to live with his grandmother during high school after his parents fled town. He and Mikael were close, but their relationship was tumultuous.
Both of them were angry.
They barely spoke back then, and when I arrived, he understood the boy inside was not the one he grew up with, and he grew fond of me. We have been like brothers ever since. Xander knows there are two of us inside this mind, although it’s something we don’t speak of.
He’s never dealt with me like this, with both minds open at once and a rogue fragment I can’t quite catch.
Summer watches me intently as we make our way through the house, her curious eyes unwavering as she watches my transformation. She only diverts her gaze when Lucy shuffles by us, her eyes lighting up when she looks at me.
“Welcome back, Mikael,” Lucy whispers before carrying along her way. I think Lucy lost her mind years ago—well before I was born somewhere in this house—but she really is quite perceptive.
I adjust my glasses as Summer squishes her eyebrows together in the most adorable way. A flicker of fear casts through her eyes.
I wink at her and a small smirk crawls over my face. The elasticity of it isn’t mine. Mikael’s mannerisms are taking over my reflexes.
“Don’t worry, pretty girl,” I assure her, my vision blurring and swirling. “Lincoln is still here somewhere.”
Our fusion is causing our eyes to transform. The color remains the same, it’s simply the profound psychological intrusions beneath that create an illusion of change. It’s enough to speculate that something deeper is transpiring within. And it is; psychological fusion is an intense process, especially when this fusion is happening faster than normal.
It happens when we co-front.
She lets out a small breath, her pupils dilating. It’s interesting that all the physical reactions Mikael elicits from her are stronger compared to the ones Lincoln provokes. It’s her fear and humiliation that seems to awaken her. Ironically, it’s the promises of death that truly brings her to life.
Mikael fronted moments before, and he always unsettles her when he’s in control. I was seated at my desk, and then I found myself standing. It felt like a blink, but I became an observer.
I regained control while he was kissing her. The anger that surged within me was a raw and relentless beast, as the fragment implanted itself into me like a tick.
Slicing her mark open again wasn’t Mikael’s idea; it was mine. His profession of love wasn’t Mikael’s; it was mine. In every way that matters, every action in that moment was mine.
I am Mikael, and my desire to kill her is getting stronger.
Summer clutches onto me as if she knows I’m leaving her soon. My hand goes to the small of her back as she walks a step ahead, and I admire her smooth, bare thighs. Since she has no clothes here, she’s stuck meeting everyone in my shirt. Although it fits her like a dress and certainly will make a statement, it looks amazing on her.
“Don’t be nervous,” I tell her as I slide my hand and interlace my fingers with hers. “You’re with me, and they just want to meet you.”
She bristles. “They hate me.”
“They hate the idea of you. They don’t even know you, Summer,” I remind her.
She halts just as we step under the archway at the entrance of the house. She looks around as if seeing it for the first time. The dark-stained oak stairs leading to the rooms above, the dining room and kitchen off to the left, the parlor room to the right, all the photos of our ancestors on the walls.
A draft hits her, and she pulls her hand away and wraps it around herself. She takes a couple of steps toward the dark hallway leading down to the backside of the house.
“The house is old,” I tell her, walking in behind, sliding my hands around her waist. The wood creaking beneath my feet startles her—or perhaps I startle her. She’s had a very confusing day.
“It was rebuilt in the 1900s, and many times over the years,” I explain. “But the original house on this property was built in the 1750 by a historian, of all people—one of the founders of the university.”
She walks over and runs her hand along the walls and pauses as if she can hear something. She turns and looks me dead in the eye. “He was the one who started all of this.”
I wrap my arm around her midsection, and she doesn’t move. I pull her body into me and brush my lips against her ear as she peers up at Matteo.
“He’s the one they worship. He’s the one who demands blood. Every member is related to him and technically, you are, too.”
Her eyes glaze over as she beholds him. “I thought they worshiped a god?”
I snicker. “He thought he was one.”
Her head shifts slightly. “My father lived here, too?”
I watch her carefully and nod. “Yeah, everyone lives here before they become a full member, usually while attending school. Your grandparents lived here, too.”
She swallows and processes what I am telling her. “My mother met him after this, didn’t she?” she asks me.
“Your mother wasn’t part of it. I don’t think she had a clue who she was married to, or what your father did.”
Laughter trickles in from the other side of the house, but Summer doesn’t flinch and keeps her head down and focused, her body rigid like she’s guarding herself.
“What does the Order want from me? How can I be one of them and be marked for death at the same time?”
I wasn’t planning on having this conversation with her right now, but it was inevitable. “In order to become a full member, you must offer a sacrifice to him. He demands the body and blood of the one you truly love. Every generation goes through it.”
She keeps her gaze on the wall, her blank stare zeroing in on one spot, as if she can see something rising from the ashes of the shadows of her misery.
“Every twenty years,” she whispers, as if putting the puzzle pieces together. “My father…he loved your mother? He killed her because he loved her?”
A burst of emotion threatens to swallow me whole. Mikael’s turning the taps on, and my eyes sting thinking about my mother in those final moments.
“They were together when your father was in grad school, the same age I am now. She willingly gave up her life for him.”
That crushing memory hits me. The way she saw me hiding when I followed them through the forest to the cave. She knew I was there and still let it happen. I’ll never forget the look of terror as she died. The blood that stained her cheek as she rolled to the side when her soul left her body.
“And what did he get for killing her? Was it all worth it?” she asks.
I gesture outside. “The entire fortune is passed on to generation after generation. We control everything here, Summer; we rule all of them, and they don’t even know it. Regular rules don’t apply in Kinsmen. Your father lost his mind with power and greed. He thought he was invincible.”
Her eyes glaze over, as if she’s in a trance, as if she’s lost in memory. “And I am going to be that person for you?”
I squeeze her body tight. “You are the one I love. So technically, it can’t be anyone else.” She pauses and doesn’t react. Her body grows limp in my arms and her body melts into mine. “Say something, pretty girl.”
Her eyes flash at that pet name, but she doesn’t comment on it—almost as if she understands Mikael is here with us. I pull her into me, and she snaps out of it.
“Where is my inheritance, then? If I’m related to this false god.”
I blink at her a couple times and merely say, “I never said our system wasn’t flawed.”
I press my lips onto her head. “I think it’s all ridiculous. Some crazy man decided to turn some old dusty book into a codex. He was a scammer. He took money for a promise of something better. He’s a shadowed myth of a god who doesn’t exist.”
She narrows her eyes. “But you marked me, anyway.”
I nod. “Yeah, I guess I did.”
Her hand slides over my cheek. “Are you real, Lincoln?”
I clasp her hand, even that name is foreign to me now. “Every part of me, Summer, and I’m not going anywhere. Please remember that.”
But my name isn’t Lincoln anymore. That name is simply not resonating.
I lose myself in the brightness in her eyes and she says, “The Order believed he was real. Your mother must have believed it, too.”
A tightness forms inside me, every memory of that night flooding into my head, almost as if those memories are not just his, but mine as well.
I grab her chin calmly, then run my finger over her lips. “Stop talking about her.”
“ Lincoln.”
“My name’s not…” I pause and take in a deep breath. “You don’t get to speak about my mother, not yet.”
Her pupils flare and her breath lengthens. “Lincoln…you just called her your mother.”
Mikael hums through me; his anger momentarily cripples my ability to reason. Summer’s voice is like a dream, hazy and fuzzy. “ Lincoln …what’s happening to you?”
I pull my hand away and turn from her. It’s as if she can see me disappearing from her very eyes.
“Summer. Enough .” I don’t recognize my voice.
She opens her mouth but snaps it shut. An agonizing few seconds go by as I do my best not to tear out her tongue.
Mikael’s laughter fills my head, and he shoots a crippling amount of love into my psyche as I stare down at the beautiful girl in front of me.
Summer stares at me, watches me, not hearing the war going on inside me, but she seems to understand exactly what’s going on.
I deepen my breath and compose myself as Mikael’s essence melts away. As if his evil merely slides into the walls where he belongs. And for the moment, I am my usual self again.
I nudge my head toward the hushed laughter in the other room. “Come on. Let’s get this over with.”
Summer’s eyes glaze over and she obeys. We continue down the dark hall. “Dr. Garcia will expect your dead body at the ReBirth Ceremony,” I say coldly, stepping in beside her. “She will collect your body, drain your blood, and give him your eyes. Now that Mikael’s claimed you, there is no stopping it.”
My words are malicious, but she needs to understand the predicament she’s in, and I’m not in the mood to care about her feelings.
“I’ll be the next full member, the first of this generation. All of this will become mine. And that, my love, is where your inheritance went.”
Her body shivers. The bare nipples beneath her shirt poke out. “But you said…you said you were created to protect me?”
“I was…”
I was, but not anymore. Summer is completely unaware of the danger she’s facing. We finally arrive at the double doors, and I gently rub away the tear in her eye. “Come on. Let’s go in.” I push the door open before she can object.
Xander is seated on the couch with Bianca looking miserable on the floor with a plate of food in front of her. I chuckle to myself at the sight of her. She must have been naughty today.
Everyone’s eyes are fixed on us as we walk in. I ignore their stares and find my regular spot on a plush chair, pulling Summer onto my lap, my fingers grazing her bare legs. She makes eye contact with Xander, shifting her gaze between him and Bianca.
Bianca’s black hair is in her usual ponytail, her outfit leaving little to the imagination. Xander’s not paying any attention to Bianca. He’s smirking at Summer, chewing on his lip, leaning back like he gives zero fucks, doing what he can to make her uncomfortable.
He won’t make eye contact with me, so I know he’s pissed—or weary as to who he might find staring back at him.
Summer wraps her arms around my neck, pressing herself into me, showing everyone who she belongs to. I wave my hand in an indifferent gesture, wanting to get this over with. “Everyone, this is Summer; Summer, this is everyone.”
“We’ve met,” Xander says, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. He exudes an aura of darkness and destruction, his tight T-shirt showing off his tattoos.
Summer stiffens as Mikael slithers up my spine, embedding himself into my psyche. My vision blurs, and I start thinking about how fun it will be to kill every single person in this room.
They all know what happened to me; their parents allowed it to happen and covered it up. Gabe and Wendy sit back, highly amused by the situation, though neither says anything.
They’re happy with the parties, the money, the drugs, and that they’re above the rules. Happy to defer to Xander. Gabe is spineless and will do anything Xander asks, which leaves me as the wild card. Technically, I don’t belong here, but Dr. Garcia concludes, given what my mother sacrificed, I belong to the Order as much as anyone else.
Wendy sits up, offering a warm smile. “Nice to meet you, Summer. I’m Wendy,” she introduces herself, gesturing to Bianca. “And this is Bianca.”
Bianca stares at the floor. If anyone doesn’t belong here, it’s Bianca.
“Bianca can’t talk right now, because she wasn’t a good girl today,” Xander responds for her. Bianca keeps her head to the ground, taking small bites off her plate. A fiery intensity flickers in her eyes.
Curiosity getting the best of me, I can’t help but ask, “Do I even want to know what happened?” I’m guessing it has something to do with Dani, who was in this house last night, capturing all of Xander’s focus.
Dani doesn’t know Xander, but Xander knows Dani. He watched her throughout the entire trial four years ago, and I think he felt guilty about what her family went through. Unlike me, Xander is empathetic.
Xander knew about my connection to Summer, which made Dani even more intriguing for him. The poor thing is a dead girl walking.
Wendy chuckles softly. “Oh, it’s just Bianca being jealous, even though she has no reason to be.”
Bianca snaps her head up at her friend. “He was kissing that girl. His hands were all over her.” She looks directly at Summer. “It was your friend, actually.”
Summer’s body stiffens at the mention of her friend. In a swift motion, Xander reaches over and forcefully turns Bianca’s head toward him. “You’re a glutton for punishment, aren’t you, baby?” he snaps. Bianca remains restrained in Xander’s grip, struggling to swallow. “You don’t make the rules, Bianca. You don’t get a say in them, either, so don’t pretend that you do. I’ll talk to, or kiss, whoever the fuck I want.”
The room falls into an uneasy silence. We’ve grown accustomed to the dynamic between Xander and Bianca, but I’m curious how Summer will react to all of this.
“Who makes the rules,” he says, and Summer bristles on my lap, watching Xander exert his dominance.
Bianca presses her lips together defiantly.
He pulls tighter, nearly snapping her neck with so much force and tension. He leans down, his voice getting low, which usually means he’s getting wound up. “You better open that pretty mouth of yours and tell me who the fuck is in charge.”
Summer squirms watching this unfold, and I can’t help but admire her reaction to Bianca getting humiliated. In fact, Summer is shifting so much on my lap, she’s grinding herself on my leg, and there is nothing but the thin fabric of her panties between my leg and her pussy.
“You make the rules, baby,” Bianca finally says.
Xander drops her, takes her plate, and pulls her on top of him. She glares at us as he spoon feeds her the rest of her dinner. She beams as he dotes on her, ignoring everyone else.
I’ve never understood Xander’s need for public humiliation, but he seems to get off on it. Bianca knows what Xander has to do since she technically has to do the same. So I’m waiting for her to piece together the fact Dani could be the key to actually marrying him one day.
Bianca is desperate for him, but he doesn’t love her, and in order to transcend, the rule is you must be in love with your sacrifice. Otherwise, how is it truly a sacrifice?
If he loved Bianca, she’d already be dead. So instead he puts her through torture and humiliation because that is what he gets off on. A sadist, just like his grandmother.
It’s a very odd prisoner’s dilemma.
Summer’s breath lengthens, and I reach my fingers under her shirt and slide my hand up her thighs. Her little cunt is dripping wet.
I lean down and kiss her neck, and she melts at my touch. “Did you like watching that?” I whisper as everyone else starts talking, and Xander puts the music on loud enough no one can hear me. She parts her lips and looks up at me, her eyes wide.
“Don’t worry, pretty girl, I’ll spend the rest of my life humiliating you. I’ll treat you like the queen you are in public, but in private, I’ll own you in ways Xander can’t even dream.”
I can’t wait to get these niceties over with, make her something to eat, and spend the rest of the night in bed with her. I rise and pull Summer up with me. “Well, it’s been a pleasure, have a nice night everyone.”
“So sad you won’t last past Halloween,” Bianca chides from Xander’s lap.
Summer sucks in a breath. “Why? What’s happening on Halloween?”
“Shut up, Bianca,” Wendy snaps at her.
Summer looks at me with confused eyes. I kiss her cheek and say, “Ignore her.”
Xander places his hands around his head. “No, Bianca’s right. Or have you not told her that part of it? I’m really confused how this is going to work for you two?” A twinge hits my gut. Maybe coming up here was a mistake.
Xander stares at me. “You haven’t told her, have you?”
Her eyes peer up at me. “Tell me what?”
Xander laughs as if he’s in on some cruel joke. I give him a silent glare and Xander finally looks directly into my eyes. He is aware that Mikael has returned—he saw him in the room upstairs. “Xander, not now,” I tell him.
Xander’s eyes flash. “The ReBirth Ceremony is in just over two weeks. And that’s when your boyfriend is going to fucking kill you.”