Chapter 13
13
Jack
“ D ude, why are you smiling so much? You still got s fucking ghost in your house.”
“It is what it is. He’s not really that scary.” I kicked back in my comfy chair and chuckled at the thought of my smartass houseguest.
“You’re insane.” He rolled his eyes. “When there’s a ghost – you get out.”
“How was the conference?”
“Boring. I almost fell asleep giving my presentation. Why did I choose a job in finance?”
“Don’t forget that you’re also a slumlord. But I think it’s because you like boring?”
He sighed. “I guess I do. Why did I have to be good at math? And I am not a slumlord. You’d be lucky to live in one of my places.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah… You’ve always been smart. It was one of the reasons I instantly liked you. You were challenging and kind.”
“You liked me because I was doing shots at the bar and offered to buy you one. For five seconds, I thought we were gonna fuck. But after those five seconds, I knew that was not happening.”
“We were young.”
“And very dumb.”
“I think you should call Maurice.”
“I talk to Maurice. We fucked before I went to the conference.”
“I think you should talk to Maurice, not fuck him.”
“Actually, he fucked me, but we also talked.”
“And… You two are so good together.”
“We’re… talking. I don’t know, man. When did you decide to be the matchmaking fairy?”
“I guess today. I like Maurice. He’s a good guy and he makes you even better than you already are, D. I just want you to be happy, and you’re happy when you’re with Maurice.”
“I know. But that’s not the way it is right now. Maybe someday, when he works through his feelings of inadequacy and abandonment. It’s not now, though, Jack. I’m not giving up on him, though. Not yet.”
“Promise?”
“What the fuck is up with you? Are you possessed?”
“Maybe?” I shrugged and giggled. “I like him.”
“You’re in love with the ghost? Dude? What?”
“Not the ghost, dumbass, though he’s actually ok. I don’t mind him as much anymore. He’s kind of funny.”
“You’re talking to the ghost?”
“Well, yeah. I mean, Arch is helping me. We’re trying to find a way to release him into the wild, I guess.”
“I am so fucking confused right now.”
“So much has happened since you left. But we can talk about that later. I want to talk about Archie.”
“You’re into the ghost guy? I am a little surprised by that, to be honest. I wouldn’t say he was usually your type.”
“I had a type?”
“He’s cute, I’ll give you that. But you usually liked hard-bodied twinks that we’re looking for a good time and nothing more. That does not seem like Archie.”
“It’s not.”
“I mean, I only met him when I brought him to you, but he seems like a good guy – nice and compassionate. Someone that you could easily break if you weren’t careful.”
“You think he’s too nice for me?”
“I think that he’s probably more fragile than most of the guys you destroyed. Remember that one guy who followed you around after you ruined him for other men, apparently? He annoyed you so much that you finally had to tell him that it wasn’t serious and you didn’t want it to happen again. I still remember his face after you told him.”
“I know. I… I don’t want to be that person, D. I want… I don’t know but something has changed in me, you know? I don’t want to be that person just looking for a quick fuck and nothing more. Archie is amazing and I think I’m totally falling in serious like for him – with him.”
“Be careful. He seemed like a very nice boy, and nice boys can get hurt easily.”
“You don’t think I’m worthy of him?”
“What? I never said that. You’ve always been worthy, J. You just haven’t always been careful. Do you know what I mean? Thinking of other people’s feelings wasn’t one of your strongest suits, man. You’re not mean or even selfish – you just weren’t always thoughtful of how your actions affected others.”
I hung my head and let his words wash over me. “I know. I realized something during this whole ghost thing. I’m a lot like Isaac in many ways.”
“Who is Isaac.”
“The ghost.”
“Oh, well, that explains everything.”
“I’m lonely, Daveed. I have been for a very long time, and I never took the time to understand why I wasn’t content – happy, even. I was just trying to fill a hole that had been there for too long. Arch makes me feel seen and needed. He makes me want to be a part of something bigger than just myself.”
“Good.”
“That’s it?”
“What do you want me to say, man? Look, I want you to be happy more than almost anyone. You’re my best friend, and I love you. I’d do anything for you. But your track record of relationships is zero, bro. Now you tell me after a few days…”
“A week.”
“Ok, a week – that you’re falling for the ghost psychic dude. It’s… I liked him. I did. I do. But it’s just a surprise. I want you to find someone and fall in love. You are an amazing guy, and I think I’m one of the only people that you’ve ever let see that side of you. I’m glad you’re sharing it with someone else. I’m just surprised it’s ghost boy.”
“Because he’s not my type?”
“I mean, sorta, yeah. But there are ghosts. He’s a psychic who speaks to ghosts. It’s a little out there, right?”
“You’re the one who brought him to me.”
“To help you with your ghost problem, yeah. Trust me, after what I saw, this place is seriously haunted.”
“You have no idea.” I laughed. “Look, I will agree that I was as surprised as anyone. But it’s happened, and I really want to see where this will go.”
“That alone proves the man is a miracle worker. So you can handle the ghosts?”
“I seem to be doing ok with the one I have.”
“The psychic thing? That would freak me out if he could read my thoughts.”
“He doesn’t read thoughts – he reads energies.”
“Same thing.”
“Maybe? But yeah, I think I’m good.”
“Are you looking for permission or something? It’s your life, man. Just don’t hurt ghost boy. He seems like he would be fragile.”
“Yet he’s so strong. I really like him, Daveed. I would never hurt him.”
“Not intentionally. But you have hurt people, man. You just never took the time to think about it.”
“I know. I had a lot of time to think about all of this lying in the hospital. You know you were the only one to come and see me? Well, Maurice came with you a coupleof times, but no one else ever did. I asked the nurse one day and was surprised by the answer. Just the tall and handsome black man and his boyfriend are how I found out that no one cared enough to come to see if I was still alive.”
“That’s…”
“They would have come to the funeral if I had died. Some of them, anyway. But not many. I didn’t deserve for any of them to come see me, D. I hadn’t been a very good friend to anyone besides you, and even then… I wasn’t as good of a friend to you as I should have been.”
“You’ve never treated me bad, Jack.”
“But I didn’t go out of my way to tell you how much I loved you either. To show you how much you mean to me.”
“I knew, though, man.”
“I want to do better with this second chance, D. I want to deserve someone like him. But he does scare me so much. I’m getting attached to him, and I can’t stop thinking about him. I think he could hurt me just as badly as I could ever hurt him.”
“That’s… I love you, J. You’re my best friend, and all I want is for you to be happy. He’s cute.”
“He’s hot,” I stood up and walked over to him and sat down beside him on the couch. “I’m gonna hug your sorry ass now.” I wrapped my arms around him, and he squeezed me tightly. “I love you, Daveed.”
“I love you too, Jack.”
“So… Let’s talk about something else. I just made it very deep and depressing in here.”
“My renters are crazy over on Agnes Ave. Those crazy gay guys broke up. You know, the ones who are always complaining? Anyway, one of them just rented my other house a block away on Ben. I think he just wanted to spy on his ex. They were always fighting, apparently.”
“Another place? Holy shit.” I jumped up and ran over to my computer and turned it on.
“Dude? What’s happening right now?”
“You may have… You made me think about searching for this person another way. It’s Isaac’s lover Drew that we’re… Hold on.” I held my finger up as I typed in my password.
“You are making no sense right now.”
“Or perfect sense. If this is… You may be a fucking genius, Daveed Humphrey. I will let you know in… Where is the file that… Oh, here.” I scrolled down the list of names and laughed when I saw it. “Fucking Andrew Parker. We had the answer all along!”
I ran over to him and kissed him on his cheek.
“What the hell is happening?”
“Magic, baby. I think it’s magic.” We had the answer all along. Andrew had rented another place from the same landlord after Isaac died in eighty-four. Living here must have been too much for him. We had a name and an address; now, all I needed was Archie. I quickly picked up my phone.
“You have really gone fucking crazy.”