Chapter Thirty-Two #4
“Took off?” Velle finally speaks, arching that damn pierced brow.
“We weren’t going to escape ,” I mutter.
“What do you think sneaking out of prison is called?” His lips twitch.
“Whatever, man. Don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same damn thing if you were in my shoes. I saw my shot, and I took it. But I wasn’t planning on leaving the island.”
Joy is making a face I can’t read. I ignore it and go on.
“Trevel wanted… He wanted revenge on Dr. Love,” I tell them reticently. “We grabbed him and Darcey, and that was when all hell broke loose.”
Staring at me like he’s piecing it all together, Velle eventually breathes and rubs his eyes. The exhaustion and mental strain on him are visible in his demeanor, despite how well he’s holding it together.
“I take it Darcey got free,” he hums, and I nod. “He’s out there… in the woods. Taking out the Warden’s men like fuckin’ Rambo.” He huffs, shaking his head. “I’d be careful if I were you.”
“I can handle Felix fucking Darcey,” I mutter.
“Listen up, champ.” Velle steps over to me. “I’m tickled you came to visit, but let’s address the goddamn elephant in the room.”
I peek at Joy, then Rook. They’re both staring at me.
“He doesn’t care about you,” he states. “And I know you know that. He’s using you, and as good as it feels when it’s working, because trust me, I know it feels fucking great… It’s a lie. It’s all bullshit. Nothing but sleight of hand from a master of misdirection.”
I blink, posture rigid.
“It’s time to pick a side,” he says firmly.
“You belong here with us, jeonsa ,” Joy adds. “You know you do.”
My chest is constricting. “I know you’re right, but—”
“No buts,” Velle snaps. “You’re either with us, or you’re against us. It’s that simple.”
I rub my eyes. “What’s going on over here?? How did it come to this…?”
“This has been a long time coming,” Velle rumbles. “I didn’t start this shit, but you bet your ass I’m finishing it. He fucked with us for the last time.”
“He’s been killing prisoners,” Rook jumps in. “I’m sure you’ve heard it…”
“Yea, and don’t act like you guys wouldn’t have been doing it yourselves!” I bark. “I get it; he’s a fucking monster. We all know that. But do you honestly think you can defeat the devil? I mean, really ?”
“Wow.” Joy shakes her head.
“He’s got his claws in you too, huh?” Velle scoffs. “I never noticed until now.”
“No, he doesn’t,” I bite. “It’s not about him…”
“So it’s Trevel, then?” Joy balks. “That sly piece of Euro trash is more important to you than us? What happened to loyalty …”
“Why are you ganging up on me??” I hiss in defense. “I’m not siding with The Ivory, okay?? We’re fucking stuck over there! If we leave, he’ll kill us, you know that.”
“You’re here right now,” Rook mumbles.
I stare blankly at them. I feel like I’m not explaining myself well, and it’s because I don’t know what I’m doing. If I don’t even understand it myself, how can I express it to them??
“Armory or not, he has the numbers.” I sigh.
Velle folds his arms over his chest. “We’re rallying the prisoners.”
“How many are left?” I tilt my head.
“Doesn’t matter,” he grouses. “They’ll fight if they have to.
It’s better than dying out there. And I don’t give a fuck…
He can bring in a thousand more cartel men.
It won’t stop us. We’re taking back this island.
It’s us versus him.” He gets closer to me.
“So I say again, you’re either with us… or you’re against us. ”
I pause, shifting on my feet. “I would never side against you guys, you know that—”
“But you have been.” His tone is deep and sturdy, calm in his accusations. “You’ve been on his side since the moment you fell in with Fenwick.”
My jaw clenches. “No, that’s not—”
“You’re a traitor,” he hisses, still only a low rumble. “Sleeping in our bed, wearing my clothes…” He glances at my feet and scoffs. “That’s where you’re staying, right? In our bedroom…”
I stay quiet, stewing in guilt so bitter it’s making me sick.
“Look, it is what it is, man. I just thought loyalty was important to you. I guess it’s not.”
“Of course it is,” I growl, closing in. “I’m here because I needed to see you guys… To make sure you were alright.”
“Aw. How sweet .” His head cocks, cavernous blue narrowed at my face. “We both know you’re here because he sent you.”
I can feel Joy and Rook leering.
“So I have to ask… Why’d you really come?”
I swallow hard. “He told me to come over here and… negotiate.”
Rook scoffs out loud while Joy spins, stalking away and rubbing her eyes. Velle chuckles.
“Obviously, it’s bullshit, I know that. He wants me to get eyes on this place and report back or some shit, whatever.”
“Yea,” Velle croons knowingly.
“But it doesn’t fucking matter,” I argue on. “You and I both know it doesn’t matter what the fuck I say to him. He’s never going to stand down. But if I stay here, he’ll kill Trevel. That’s a fucking fact. He’s got these collar things—”
“So?” Velle squints. “I’d say we need you here more than we need that asshole alive…”
My eyes round, chest constricting. The thought of something happening to Trevel is painful, made even worse at knowing that these people—whose side I’m supposed to be on—don’t care whether he lives or dies.
Joy stomps back over. “He’s not one of us, jeonsa . You are. We need you… He can handle himself.”
I’m splitting down the middle, and it kills . The despair in what they’re saying is climbing up my esophagus like bile. Swallowing it down, I cough up indignation in its place.
“I’m not going to let him die over this,” I seethe. “He doesn’t deserve that.”
Joy scoffs, and I bark, “He doesn’t! He doesn’t deserve to be on this island any more than the rest of us do! Whatever you think about him is irrelevant. None of us are here by choice, and we’re all just fighting to survive.”
“Because of him!” Joy roars. “The Ivory did this to all of us! Are you really gonna sit here and say you think we should surrender??”
I’m fucking shaking all over. The fury and the fear have woven together into something so crippling, I can’t barely keep myself standing anymore.
I just want to get back to him.
He’s the only one who’s truly on my side.
They don’t care about me or my feelings. They just want to win. They’re using me, just like The Ivory is.
Just like everyone does… It’s what I’m here for, apparently.
Glancing at Velle, I find him watching me closely, assessing me with an almost pitying glint in his eyes.
“We’ve been trapped in this hellhole for over ten years.” Joy gestures to Velle. “We’re prisoners too; I know you know that. Giving up is going back, and I won’t fucking do that. Not this time.”
“What do you expect me to do??” I scrub hands over my face. “I won’t leave Trevel behind. I can’t—”
“He’s holding the control room guys hostage,” Rook says. “Did you know that?”
My lashes flutter, and I look at Velle once more. He confirms this with the pursing of his lips.
“Carson, Denton, Mark…” Rook goes on. “They’re trapped in the control room, being held at gunpoint by his men.”
My teeth set. “I say again… what do you expect me to do about that?”
“Get us into the mansion,” Velle hums a demand.
“I can’t do that. He’ll kill—”
“Then we have nothing more to talk about,” he cuts me off, turning and stalking over to the desk. Effectively ending the conversation.
I’m quaking in place, surrounded by people I’ve known for years, though I’ve never felt more alone.
They’re putting me in an impossible position. Asking me to choose between them and Trevel is fucked up, but they don’t care. They don’t care about what I want at all.
I’m just another body they need to win this fight. A weapon they want in their arsenal.
“Bring him down to the west exit and cut him loose,” Velle grunts robotically. Emotionless as he returns to loading rounds into magazines, not sparing me another glance.
Joy is visibly upset, but she’s obviously trying to disguise it as she stomps toward the door, nodding for me to follow her. I give Velle one last lingering look. But he’s shut down.
It’s over.
I’m not giving him what he wants, so I guess we’re done here.
Following Joy, we trudge in tense silence for a bit, nothing but the sounds of our footsteps accompanying my rampant thoughts. Back in general population, I hear voices coming from the rows. My face follows the direction of the crumbled corridors.
“I’m going to my cell,” I grunt, not waiting for her permission.
I want my journal. The idea of leaving it behind, all of that hard work… All those years of writing…
I can’t lose it. All of my truths are in that book.
Joy grabs me by the arm, but I rip out of her grip. “Why are you being like this?! Why are you all acting like I’m the fucking enemy just because I’m—”
“Fucking the enemy?” She cocks her head.
“Trevel is not the enemy,” I growl.
She blinks at me, eyes softening a bit. “Maybe not… But how well do you really know him, B?”
I freeze, held in place by her pervasive gaze.
The truth is that I don’t know him… not as well as I’d like to.
Not as well as I should if I’m going to keep sacrificing things for him.
Shooting her a defiant glare, I stomp toward my row. And this time, she lets me. But when I get there, I stop short.
There are guards in the row, delivering food to inmates in the cells. Handing it to them through the bars.
“They’re stuck in there,” Joy says from behind me while I gape in dismay. “When the storm fucked up the genny, some cells were open and others were locked. The servers might have a manual override in the control room…”
“But the Warden has it,” I finish her sentence, gloom riding my tone.
She’s quiet for a moment while we listen to the sounds of prisoners slowly rotting, more trapped in Hell than we ever were. Tools line the floor, as if they’ve been trying to cut through the bars or force them open. Clearly, it hasn’t worked.
My face slants, meeting Joy’s eyes. “What happened… to Luthor and Ren?”