Chapter Forty #3
He sighs audibly. “Look, I promise you, I’m not here for any other reason than to see you and explain myself, and maybe apologize a few thousand times… and then deliver your bargaining chip. I suppose you can kill me if you’d like, but can it wait until after we talk?”
Falling back from the wall, I scrape a hand over my face.
“Why are we even entertaining this?” Jasper grunts. “Just shoot him in the brain and be done with it.”
“Jesus, babe…” Hancock scolds, shaking his head.
“He’s right,” Ren says, squeezing Luthor’s hand while the other grips his gun. “We can’t trust that chump! He’s a spy… For all we know, he’s trying to steal Byron back!”
I’m chewing on my lower lip while Luthor rumbles, “Okay, that’s a bit extreme…”
“Is it??” Ren snaps. “He threatened you on the phone and let our best friends think we were dead! As far as I’m concerned, he can rot.”
“I’m just saying, Byron can take care of himself,” Luthor argues. “It should be up to him… Right, B?”
“Yea… What do you want to do?” Dash asks me.
Trepidation seeps from my pores. I honestly have no clue what to do…
If I’m listening to my heart, I kinda want to hear what Trevel has to say… But that stupid thing is what got me into this in the first place!
Plus, the last time I chose Trevel over these people, they ostracized me. And I really don’t want to feel that kind of rejection again. Especially for someone who lies to me and hides things like it’s second nature.
“Ren’s right,” I gulp.
Ren’s head cocks. “I am?”
Luthor rolls his eyes.
“Yea, he’s basically a stranger. I don’t even… know him.” I hate the way my voice tremors on those words, and how much I can tell everyone else heard it.
“Enough said,” Velle grunts, repositioning his rifle. “Want me to shoot him?”
I’m obviously about to say no thank you , when someone else joins the conversation.
“Hang on a minute.” Dr. Love steps over, putting himself close to the barrel of the rifle, like he’s attempting to shift Velle’s aim. “You know he saved me, right?”
He says this to Velle, but then turns his amber eyes on me.
“Wasn’t he the one who turned you in to The Ivory in the first place?” Jasper scoffs.
“That’s irrelevant,” Dr. Love replies stoically. “Officer Chevelle and I have tried to kill each other before. In fact, haven’t most of you been at odds at one time or another over the years?”
Eyes are shifting around the space, considering this definitely true fact.
“I agree that it should be up to you whether you wish to speak to him or not,” he says to me, then addresses the group. “Outside of that, we should still let him in. Find out what he has and give him the opportunity to join us… if he wants.”
“I hate to disagree with you, Lemuel, since you’re just… shredded , and your jawline is immaculate,” Ren flutters. Hancock and Dash both cackle as Dr. Love’s lips twitch. “But I’m looking out for my best friend here. The things that former patient of yours has done are questionable as fuck.”
“He withheld the truth,” Felix jumps in. “I mean, who hasn’t?”
The way everyone’s faces slowly shift in Ren’s direction feels almost comical. In fact, Luthor folds his arms over his chest, presenting his fiancé with a smug look of satisfaction.
“Who… me??” Ren gasps. “I’m the most honest person here!
I’m practically Abraham Lincoln!” Luthor chokes while the rest of us gawk at him like he’s insane.
“Wait, didn’t he hide the fact that he was super gay?
Never mind, I don’t know shit.” He drapes his hands on my chest. “Do whatever you wanna do, B. I trust you.”
I let out a breath, feeling the pressure like a thousand pounds of concrete doubt on my shoulders. The only person I can look to right now is Velle.
“We all know you can handle yourself,” he says with a smirk, and I have to huff, rubbing the back of my neck.
But then he goes serious. “I shouldn’t have turned my back on you…
Back at the prison. You’re just as much a part of this team as the rest of us, and we need a warrior like you in our arsenal.
If you say the Brit can be trusted, then that’s good enough for me. ”
“Aww!” Ren squeals, hugging onto Luthor’s waist. “Look at Dad being all fatherly…”
“For the love of God , Luthor, sit on his face or something,” Velle gripes.
I snort, biting the inside of my cheek.
“Oy!” Trevel hollers from just outside the wall. “The longer you lot take chatting, the less time we have until The Ivory discovers what’s missing! And when he does, it’ll be all-hands on deck, so to speak.”
“I’ll go outside and talk to him.” I try to project confidence I’m not feeling, bracing myself for whatever could happen.
And believe it or not, the prospect of getting mowed down by the cartel isn’t even the scariest thing out there.
I get supportive nods from all around as I make my way to the doors. Dash chirps, “You got this, B!”
Ren squeezes my shoulder, and Luthor hums, “Head in the game, bro.”
All this encouragement is giving me a migraine.
Joy shoots me a wink, then opens just one of the double doors for me. The moment I’m in through, she slams it behind me and I startle, inhaling and exhaling to calm my racing pulse.
“Okay, Trev…” I call out tentatively, wandering the perimeter of the armory, face flinging back and forth for any potential threat. We haven’t heard The Ivory’s men this close yet, but you never know. Technically, I’m walking towards one right now… “You got what you want. I’m out here… Let’s talk.”
I make it to the east side of the armory, where Trevel had been hiding. But I don’t see him.
“Trev…?” I peer between the trees, walking slowly. “Violet—”
In a flash, I’m being shoved up against the stone wall and pinned by a taut and limber frame. Gazing up at the severely beautiful face of Trevel Fenwick, I sigh out the word, “Eyes.”
“Hi, sweet fury.” Deep purple shines so many emotions down at me; it’s beyond overwhelming.
His pink lips are sloped into a crooked smirk, marred by a cut on the bottom one, which I put there.
There’s bruising around is eye, his cheek is swollen, and a few smears of dried blood still mark his face.
I wish it made him look worse, but of course it doesn’t.
He’s even hotter all battered up by my fists.
Fuck me, this is gonna be unbearable.
“So… what do you… h-have to say?” I stammer, fighting the shake in my voice from how close we are and how good he smells, and how fucking angry and hurt I still am.
His eyes are still twinkling, but that overzealous grin melts into a sorrowful pout. “I hate myself.”
My brows jump. Okay… didn’t expect that.
He’s still caging me in, palms pressed flat on either side of my shoulders, but his face isn’t reflecting the confidence of our position. He looks broken.
“Honestly, Byron, I had to see you,” he breathes out. “To make sure you know that I never meant to hurt you, and I’ll never forgive myself for the way I have. I needed to speak these things to you, and… see your face one last time.” He swallows visibly as my stomach clenches.
“Last time…?” I gust and blink. “Why… one last time? ”
He frowns, like he’s confused by my question.
“Because… it’s over. Isn’t it? I mean, surely you never want to see me again, and I don’t blame you.
But I just couldn’t let this… end without being able to look at you once more.
” His eyes scan over my face, and he lifts his fingers to brush my jawline.
“Fucking hell, you’re so pretty, baby.” Heat is rushing up my neck as his eyes close and he clears his throat.
“Sorry. I don’t expect you to believe me, or to care, but I wanted to tell you face-to-face that I’m so sorry it’s physically excruciating .
For everything I did, Byron… For everything I kept from you, and for being the worst, most selfish, dysfunctional, horrible person in the world. ”
I blink, swallowing a lump of confusion. “Okay, that’s hyperbolic, even for you.”
Pouting deeper, he huffs and drops his forehead to mine. “Stop making me love you…”
My chest constricts so hard I grunt.
“I’m trying to let you leave , because I suck, Byron.
I’m a mess, and you’re way too good for me.
Just know that the last few months with you have been the best of my entire life.
And that’s not hyperbole, baby. It’s the truth .
You brought light into my pitch-black existence, and for that, I’m eternally grateful. ”
“Hang on.” I push him back so that our eyes can meet. “Did you just say…” My voice cuts out. I physically can’t speak it. I’m petrified.
“That I love you?” Trevel hums. I nod nervously, and he sighs, “Yea. I do. I’m so in love with you, Byron… Far more than I’m comfortable with, and I’m sorry for that too…”
My brow furrows. “Why?”
He blinks at me. “Because we can’t be together.”
“We can’t?” I’m so confused.
“Well… I mean…” He starts fidgeting. “You hate me… Because I hurt you. Right …?”
I’m frozen. There was so much on my mind before, so many things confirming what he’s saying now. But as soon as he said those other words, it all just… vanished.
“Are you pulling a Bugs Bunny on me right now?” I grumble.
He chuckles, then whimpers like it hurts. “I don’t know… I’m fucked up, Raph.” His eyes are welling with tears. “ Do you… hate me?”
No. My lips part, ready to cough up what I think I should say, which is yes. Because I should hate him for what he’s put me through. But I don’t. Not even a little.
Especially after… what he just said.
He’s in love with me…?
No one’s ever… said that to me before.
“No,” I croak. “I don’t hate you, Trevel.”
His head tilts.
“Maybe I should, but I don’t, and I don’t understand why you’re writing this off. How can you be in… love with me, but give up that easily??”
He sniffles, shaking his head. “You said you didn’t want to know me…”
“Yea, I was fucking pissed!” I growl, grabbing his face. “Do you blame me?? You’ve been treating me like a fucking yo-yo for weeks! Opening me up and devouring everything inside me like you were surviving on it only to leave me starving for you!”
“You told me you didn’t want a relationship,” he cries softly. “You s-said you couldn’t do it…”
“I was lying!” I roar.
Our chests are heaving in tandem, the mess of what we are so overwhelming, I’m dizzy.
“Shit, Trev, I… I think I’m…” My face is burning, my throat trying to close up on the words.
“Please don’t…” he whimpers. “Baby, don’t say it… I’m so scared.”
“I know,” I gasp, tugging his face so that I can whisper it in his ear. “I’m… in love with you too.”
“Jesus bloody Christ.” He collapses into me, crushing me against the wall. “You shouldn’t, sweet fury. I love you so much, but you shouldn’t love me…”
“I know.” I tremble, sweating all over, knees wobbling.
But I’m… high .
I feel suddenly weightless, and it’s the scariest thing I’ve ever felt, like flying through the air with no wings. I’m purely terrified that I could plummet at any moment, but… this soar is spectacular .
“This… is not at all how I expected this to go,” he sniffles, wiping his tears on my neck.
I chuckle, reveling in it. Basking in this; the fact that I love him and I’m admitting it. I’m in love with a guy, and he loves me back.
“Yea, no shit,” I mumble. “You raced over here waving a white fucking flag.”
“I’m sorry…”
My shaky fingers toy with the soft, messy strands of black hair at the base of his skull. They trail his smooth skin, sloping along the sharp line of his jaw. Touching him, feeling him; feeling this.
He’s mine. I get to… have this.
“You can keep apologizing if you want.” I sigh. “It’s kinda sexy.”
Trevel laughs again, softly rumbling into me, kissing my pulse over and over. “You forgive me? For being a knob…”
I nod, taking his wrists and dragging his hands off the wall behind me, placing them flat on my chest. “I do. Because I know you didn’t mean to. You weren’t trying to hurt me, Trevel, I know that.”
“I promise I wasn’t…”
“I know. You’re a wreck, violet eyes, but it’s okay. I’ve always been drawn to walking disasters.” I grin because I can feel his on my flesh. “We both lied about things and hid things. But that’s done now.”
“Completely done.” He finally pulls back to show me those stunning eyes. “I’ll tell you everything, all the time, forever.”
My throat dips, and he blinks.
“Or, you know… for however long you want to…”
The way he’s squirming has to be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. Because it’s the real him. At last , the walls are down, for both of us.
Nowhere to hide. We’re free.
Out of the shadows. For good.
“I don’t know how this will work,” I murmur.
“It’ll be quite hard, I’m sure,” he breathes out.
“Good thing I like it hard, huh?” I smirk at him, and he purrs.
“Byron, I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone.”
I huff and shake my head, but he grips my chest harder like he’s desperate for me to understand what he’s saying.
“I’m serious. I told you… everything I felt before you was a flicker. But, baby, you’re the brightest light. You’re the sun, and the moon, and the stars…”
“Fuck…” I say on an exhale, tears pushing behind my eyes.
“You’re not in the shadows with me, sweet fury,” he mumbles sweetly. Almost innocent, he’s vulnerable. Finally . “You light up my world. You’re like… Times Square.”
I snort, and he’s beaming. That gorgeous, crooked smile. I brush my thumb over the split in his lip… The second one I gave him since we’ve met. This whirlwind of us… It’s mesmerizing.
“We’re so dysfunctional,” I hum, pulling his mouth to mine, kissing him gently.
I feel like the ultimate asshole… For coming down so hard on Luthor and Ren, and their toxic relationship. Because I get it now.
Zero to one-fucking-hundred. This isn’t normal.
In fact, it’s fucking weird and crazy and probably not a good idea.
But every person I’ve felt strongly for in my life has instantly swept me away.
The only difference is that this one wants me too.
Just the way I am… Not in the shadows, but in the light.
“Are you worried?” Trevel mumbles on my mouth. “About falling for someone who’s so bloody tapped?” I chuckle. “Are you worried about having to be strong enough for me, Byron?”
“Mm… not really.” I touch his face and his chest and his heartbeat. “Because I know I am. And I know you can do this… Calm the hell down and let me love you.” He grins when I pause to kiss his lips, and whisper, “Just be mine , Leo.”
Trevel hums, holding me like he’s finally here .
When I kiss him, everything else melts away. The past is gone… The fight is over. And it’s just us. Me and my partner in crime, kissing while the world burns around us.