Chapter 2 #2
Another worry popped into my head. One I should’ve thought of before now.
Christ, if Shadow were around, how would I keep my other secret hidden?
It was far worse than him finding out I was in love with him.
That secret could destroy everything I was building, all my preparation wasted, if it came out.
I had to find a way to ensure Shadow stayed away unless I absolutely needed him.
As long as he wasn’t at my place throughout the day or on the nights I didn’t work, I should be okay. I hoped.
???
Last night had been restless to say the least. I tossed and turned, trying to block out all my worries and my uncontrollable attraction to Shadow.
I fretted about how I would keep my feelings for him hidden while shielding the other part of my life, which I couldn’t let anyone know about.
The shame would destroy me, especially if Shadow and the Punishers found out about it.
I felt weighed down as I forced myself out of bed and started my day.
I didn’t have to work tonight. I worked last night because one of the other girls needed it off to do something with her kid.
I had no trouble trading. She will cover me tonight.
My schedule typically ran from Wednesday through Sunday.
Friday and Saturday nights were the best, though Thursday, surprisingly, wasn’t bad either.
Some people like to start their weekend early, I guess.
As I’d improved as a dancer, the amount of money I made had significantly increased. I was making way more than I ever imagined. However, anyone looking at my apartment wouldn’t know it.
I lived in a one-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment.
It was tiny and older, so the rent was cheaper.
The place needed maintenance, but it was far from a slum.
The neighborhood was older and relatively safe.
I’d been lucky to find it. The rent was reasonable, and that was what I needed when I discovered it.
As long as it kept the weather out, I was satisfied.
It wasn’t where I intended to spend my life. It suited my current situation.
Last night, when Shadow followed me home, I felt a pang of embarrassment when he saw it.
He had insisted not only on following me home but also on walking me to my door and checking that the inside was okay.
The darkness had hopefully hidden my red cheeks.
He made me stand outside, in front of the door, while he checked.
When he returned, I couldn’t tell from his expression what he thought of it, but I doubted he was impressed.
After I was inside, he told me to lock my door and call him if I had any problems or planned to leave the next day.
I assured him I would, and that had been the end of it.
Not long after I shut and locked my door, I heard his motorcycle riding away.
I knew from my time spent with the Punishers’ old ladies and at their compound that they were used to much nicer things.
Most of the members had their own houses on the compound.
Since I’d met them, Riot, Diesel, Ratchet, Gravel, and Shadow had all had houses built.
The only members who didn’t have one were the two sets of twins—Remus and Romulus, and Fiasco and Ruckus.
The last two, Ruckus and Fiasco, had started as Devlin and Dravin, prospects working to earn their patch into the club.
I’d attended their party when the club patched them in and gave them their road names.
It had been wonderful to see and be included in such a moment.
I saw how much it meant to them and the rest of the club.
There had been another prospect, Madden, who, unfortunately, hadn’t made the cut during that same prospecting period.
He wasn’t working out and had been let go around his first year.
The club had been nice about it, but I knew it had to sting.
From what I saw, he went through the motions but showed no enjoyment or pride in the club.
The current prospects were Jonas, a young guy who had been part of Lark’s Fortress of Bravery, her outreach program for at-risk kids. Jonas had joined the club as a prospect once he was considered old enough. I overheard Lark mention that he was twenty when he began prospecting.
Jonas was fiercely protective of the Punishers, but especially Lark, Mayhem, and their sons, Flynn and Ransom.
He was very close to Flynn since he was a little kid at the Fortress when Jonas was there.
Flynn lost his parents at four years old in a senseless home invasion.
Mayhem and Lark had fostered, then adopted him.
What was there not to love about that story?
A second, newer prospect had joined the club around the time Fiasco and Ruckus got their patches. His name was Paxton, Pax. I hadn’t been around him much. He was quiet and observant. I hoped he worked out.
Thinking about the nice homes and the members made me recall other changes that occurred in the Punishers’ world since I met them.
There had been more babies born. Tinker and Haven had their first child, a boy they named Ryan.
He was almost eighteen months old. Two months after Ryan arrived, Moon, who was Ink and Alisse’s second daughter, joined the family.
The final one was Shaw. He was Lash and Troian’s son.
He joined his big sister, Esme. Shaw was fourteen months old.
He was born two months after Moon. The club seemed to have its children in bunches.
I thought it was great because it meant that, if all went well, those kids would grow up with playmates and best friends their own age.
I made myself a cup of coffee and put a piece of bread in the toaster.
When it was done and covered in peanut butter, my go-to food, I sat down at my tiny kitchen table with my much-used, but still working, laptop and got to work.
I had an assignment due by the end of the week in one class and a paper to write for another.
Yeah, I was a version of a stereotypical stripper in the sense that I was using the money to pay for college.
It was the only way to do it without being left with crushing debt by the time I graduated.
Not going would mean my life would never be mine.
I repeated my mantra, the one that kept me moving forward despite the hardship and obstacles.
I will be free. I will have a life that is solely mine. Just a little while longer.
???
I spent the bulk of yesterday working on homework.
Then, it was a quiet night alone with a book.
It was hard to concentrate on my reading, although it usually distracted me easily.
My mind kept going back to Shadow. I wondered where he was, what he was doing.
And as night fell, who he might be with—that last one hurt.
I’d been at the clubhouse when it was party time.
I’d seen what went on with the single guys.
It was no surprise. They were all attractive men and had sexual needs.
By luck, I’d never witnessed Shadow disappearing with anyone, but I wasn’t na?ve enough to believe he didn’t.
Though now that he had a house, he probably took them there.
Nausea filled my stomach at the thought.
I’d been telling myself for almost two years that Shadow was with plenty of women.
I had no hold on him. Besides, he didn’t even like me.
His coldness after his initial caring had confused and hurt me, but I’d grown to accept it.
Now, I was confused again. Why volunteer to be my bodyguard instead of letting one of the other guys do it?
He made no sense, unless club loyalty and the fact that I was friends with Astrid and the other old ladies meant he believed he had no choice but to do it since he’d been standing there.
God, my head hurts from all the thinking in circles.
It was time to forget it. I had a long night ahead of me. Earlier, I’d cleaned my apartment until it shone. Now, I need to head to Punishers’ Eden for work. Remembering my promise, I texted Shadow earlier to let him know what time I needed to leave. His text assured me that he’d be here on time.
The sound of an engine caught my attention. It came closer. That had to be him, right on time. I picked up my bag and keys. I had everything I needed in it or at the strip club. Not wanting to make Shadow wait, I stepped out and locked my door, then headed to the communal parking lot.
As I got closer, I slowed down. It wasn’t Shadow.
Another man was getting off his bike. I’ve seen him a few times lately.
Either he was new to the complex, or he visited someone here.
I remained where I was. Since I was out here, I might as well stay.
Shadow was due any minute. The day was nice and sunny. I’d soak up some of the sunshine.
I closed my eyes for a few moments and raised my face to the sky. God, that felt so good. I slowly lowered my chin and opened my eyes. I jumped. The biker was standing about ten feet from me, smiling.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought about saying something, but you looked too peaceful. It’s a fabulous day. You should enjoy it. I’ve seen you around. I’m Derrick. I moved into apartment 5B last month.”
He held out his hand, but didn’t come closer. Not wanting to be rude or paranoid, I moved closer and held out my hand.
As we shook, I replied, “I’ve heard and seen your bike a few times. I wondered whether you lived here or were visiting someone. I’m Aubrielle. It’s nice to meet you, Derrick.”
“Aubrielle, that’s a beautiful name. If I may say so, it’s perfect for such a beautiful woman.”
It sounded like he was casually flirting. I refused to allow it to rattle me. Not everyone was a weirdo or predator, I reminded myself.
“Thank you for the compliment. How are you liking your new place?”
“It’s okay. I hope not to be here long. Have you lived here long?”
“Just over two years. It’s a place to sleep until I get to my ultimate goal,” I admitted, though I had no idea why.
“Me too. I’m not holding you up, am I?” Derrick suddenly asked.
“I’m waiting on someone, so no…” The rest of the words died away as I heard the roar of another motorcycle.
It sounded much louder, more menacing. As we both turned to watch, a black Harley, its gas tank painted with shades of gray and white to depict a shadowy, menacing skull, glided into the lot.
Astride it, Shadow wore his matte-black skid lid, which I had learned was a nickname for a helmet, resting on his head, covering only his cranium.
Dark sunglasses covered his gaze. His face was set in an ominous expression.
I wondered what had him in a bad mood. Was he already regretting agreeing to help me? I needed to make it clear to him that he was free to ask someone else to take his place. The last thing I wanted was someone resentful of having to watch over me.
“Is that who you’re waiting for?” Derrick asked hesitantly.
“Yes, it is,” I answered.
“I should’ve known a woman as gorgeous as you would be taken,” I thought I heard him mutter.
He was watching Shadow attentively as he parked and strode toward us.
Shadow didn’t even bother to remove his helmet or sunglasses.
Shadow walked past Derrick without even glancing at him.
He came straight to me. He slid his arm around me.
I opened my mouth to greet him, but he stopped me when he kissed me.
I wasn’t expecting a kiss. I froze when Shadow not only placed his mouth against mine, but he also moved his lips.
Then, his teeth scraped across my bottom lip.
My mouth followed his blindly, automatically.
The kiss was deepening when he pulled away.
His sunglasses-covered gaze stared deep into my eyes for two beats before he turned to look at our audience.
I was dazed, and it took a couple of moments for my brain to kick in.
“Who’s this, babe?” Shadow asked.
“T-this is Derrick. He’s new to the complex. I heard his bike and thought it was you,” I explained.
“You should’ve stayed inside. I would’ve come to get you. I’m Shadow, Aubrielle’s boyfriend. When did you move in?” Shadow asked. His tone wasn’t inviting or friendly.
I barely listened to what Derrick hastily told him. I noticed Shadow was giving off a menacing vibe that Derrick was picking up on. Derrick only chatted for a few minutes before he made his excuse to leave.
“I hate to run, but I’ve got to go change. I have to meet friends. It was good to meet you both. Have a good evening.”
Shadow merely grunted. I smiled. “It was nice to meet you, Derrick. I’ll see you around, no doubt. Have fun with your friends.”
He gave me a brief smile, then it dropped when he glanced at Shadow, and then he was gone. I waited until he was out of earshot before I reprimanded Shadow. He stared after Derrick. I elbowed him in the stomach. I wanted to say ouch after I did. It was like stone. Instead, I glared at him.
“You could’ve been nicer. I have to live here, you know. I don’t want any trouble with my neighbors. And what was the deal with kissing me?”
He looked back at me. Those damn sunglasses prevented me from seeing his eyes. I resisted the urge to snatch them off his arrogant face.
“We’re supposed to be pretending I’m your boyfriend. It would hardly be convincing if I never held you or if we didn’t kiss occasionally. No worries, it’s all part of the act. Next time, wait inside until I come to you. You never know who you might run into out here. Let’s go.”
His gruff voice and hardly caring attitude pissed me off.
If he wanted to act this way, let him. I’d ignore him, and the next time he kissed me, I’d bite his damn lip off.
I began walking without another word. The sooner I made it to Eden, the faster he’d be out of my sight.
I’d keep myself in the dressing room and tell him he was free to roam or stand in the hallway.
No way I’d put up with his attitude all night.