Chapter 22
Carson didn’t sleep that night.
He sat on the couch where Nora had told him she was leaving, staring at nothing, replaying every moment. Every choice. Every time he’d picked the job over her.
The apartment felt cavernous without her. Too quiet. Too empty.
He’d lived alone for years. Had preferred it that way. But now, after just a few weeks of having Nora here, the silence felt suffocating.
At three AM, he gave up on sleep and made coffee. Sat at the dining table surrounded by the Shaw case files that had consumed him for weeks.
Files that had cost him Nora.
He should feel victorious. They’d caught Shaw. Exposed decades of corruption. Twelve women—probably more—would finally get justice.
But all Carson felt was hollow.
His phone rang at six AM. Captain Holloway.
“You sound like hell,” he said without preamble. “Rough night?”
“Something like that.”
“Come to the station. We need to process the Shaw arrest. Press conference at ten.”
“I’ll be there.”
“And, Carson? Bring Nora. She deserves to see this through. She was one of Shaw’s indirect victims. Eugene operated unchecked partly because of Shaw’s corruption.”
“She’s not here.” The words tasted like failure. “She left last night.”
The captain was quiet for a long moment. “I’m sorry. I warned you this might happen.”
“You were right. About all of it. I couldn’t change. Couldn’t be what she needed.” Carson’s voice was rough. “I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Do you want to fix it?”
“More than anything.”
“Then you need to figure out what you’re willing to sacrifice. Because you can’t keep doing what you’ve been doing and expect different results.” His voice softened. “I’ll see you at the station. And don’t make any rash decisions until we talk.”
***
Nora woke up on Lila’s couch with swollen eyes and a headache.
“Coffee,” Lila said, appearing with a mug. “And ibuprofen. And possibly wine later, depending on how today goes.”
“It’s seven AM.”
“I said possibly. I’m not a monster.” Lila sat in the armchair across from her. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I made a huge mistake. Or did exactly the right thing. I can’t tell which.”
“Both can be true.” Lila sipped her own coffee. “Do you regret leaving?”
“I regret needing to leave. I don’t regret the actual leaving, if that makes sense.” Nora pulled the blanket tighter around herself. “I couldn’t stay and keep hoping he’d change. I’d lose myself completely.”
“So what now?”
“I don’t know. I told him I needed time to think. To figure out if I can live with who he is, or if I need to walk away for good.”
“And can you? Live with who he is?”
Nora thought about Carson. About the way he held her at night. About his fierce protectiveness. About the man he was when he wasn’t consumed by work.
“I love him,” she said quietly. “But I don’t love the version of him that chooses the job every single time. That makes promises he can’t keep. That disappears into cases and forgets I exist.”
“That’s fair.”
“Is it though? Because the job is important. Those victims need him. Justice matters. Am I being selfish for wanting him to choose me sometimes?”
“No. You’re being human. Wanting someone you love to show up for you isn’t selfish, Nora.
It’s basic.” Lila set down her coffee. “Look, I get that Carson’s job is intense.
That he helps people who desperately need help.
But you need him too. And if he can’t see that, if he can’t find any balance, then maybe you’re not compatible. ”
“I don’t want that to be true.”
“I know. But wanting something to work and it actually working are different things.”
Nora’s phone buzzed. A text from Carson: Captain wants you at the press conference today. 10 AM. You were indirectly affected by Shaw’s corruption. You deserve to be there. I understand if you don’t want to see me, but I hope you’ll come.
She showed Lila the message.
“Are you going to go?”
“I don’t know. Part of me wants to. Wants to see Shaw face consequences for enabling Eugene. But part of me can’t face seeing Carson right now.”
“You don’t have to decide anything today. About Carson, about the relationship, about any of it.” Lila stood. “Take a shower. I’ll make breakfast. And then we can figure out whether you want to go to this press conference or not.”
***
The station was chaos when Carson arrived.
Press had gotten word of Shaw’s arrest. Reporters were already gathering outside. The DA’s office had sent representatives to coordinate the announcement.
“This is big,” Finn said, appearing at Carson’s desk. “Former police captain arrested for decades of corruption. It’s going to be national news.”
“Good. Shaw deserves to be exposed.” Carson pulled up his computer, trying to focus on work instead of the empty apartment he’d come home to last night.
“You look terrible. Did you sleep at all?”
“No.”
“Is Nora okay? With everything that happened yesterday?”
“She left.” The words came out flat. Emotionless. Because if Carson let himself feel it, he’d fall apart. “She’s staying with her friend Lila. Says she needs space to think about whether we can work.”
Finn’s expression shifted to genuine concern. “Shit, man. I’m sorry.”
“My fault. I kept choosing the job. Kept promising to change and then not changing.” Carson stared at his computer screen without seeing it. “She finally had enough.”
“Can you fix it?”
“I don’t know. I want to. But I don’t know if I can actually be what she needs.”
“Then you need to figure that out. Because losing someone like Nora—” Finn shook his head. “Don’t let the job cost you everything, Carson. It’s not worth it.”
Before Carson could respond, Captain Holloway appeared. “My office. Now.”
Carson followed, bracing himself for another lecture about boundaries and balance and everything he’d failed to do.
But the captain surprised him.
“Close the door. Sit.”
Carson obeyed.
“I’m taking you off active duty,” he said. “Effective immediately. Two weeks mandatory leave. No exceptions.”
“What? Why? The Shaw case is solved—”
“Because you’re burned out. Because you haven’t had a real break in years. Because you just lost your girlfriend and you’re clearly not in a state to be working.” Captain leaned forward. “This isn’t a punishment. It’s me forcing you to do what you should have done months ago—take care of yourself.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not. You look like hell. You haven’t slept.
And you’re about to stand in front of cameras and reporters representing this department.
I need you rested and focused. Not whatever this is.
” He gestured at Carson. “So you’re taking two weeks.
Starting after the press conference today.
Use it to figure out what you want. To decide if the job is worth losing everything else. ”
“I can’t just not work for two weeks.”
“Yes, you can. The department will survive without you. Cases will get solved. Justice will be served. And maybe—maybe—you’ll realize the world doesn’t end just because you’re not here.
” Captain’s voice gentled. “You’re a great detective, Carson.
One of the best I’ve ever worked with. But you’re also a man who deserves a life outside this job.
Deserves happiness. Deserves love. And you’re never going to have those things if you keep sacrificing everything for the badge. ”
Carson stared at the floor and nodded slowly. “Nora said basically the same thing. Before she left.”
“Smart woman.” Captain stood. “Press conference is in an hour. Get cleaned up. Look presentable. And after that, you’re going home. Taking two weeks. And figuring out what really matters to you.”
***
Nora decided to go to the press conference.
Not for Carson. For herself. For closure on the Eugene case. For the satisfaction of knowing that Shaw—who’d enabled so much harm—was finally facing consequences.
Lila drove her to the station. “You want me to come in with you?”
“No. I need to do this alone.” Nora took a breath. “But thank you. For letting me stay. For not judging me.”
“Always. That’s what best friends are for.” Lila squeezed her hand. “Call me when it’s over. We’ll get ice cream and trash talk men.”
Nora smiled. “Sounds perfect.”
She entered the station through a side entrance, avoiding the press gathering out front. An officer directed her to a conference room where other civilians were waiting—victims whose cases had been affected by Shaw’s corruption.
She recognized Avery Shone, the woman from her building who’d also been stalked. They exchanged nods of recognition.
“You’re Nora Bell,” Avery said. “I saw the news about Eugene. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“Thank you. I heard you went through something similar.”
“Three years ago. I reported it, they collected evidence, then nothing. Case went cold. Now I know why.” Sarah’s jaw clenched. “Shaw destroyed the evidence. Let my stalker walk free. He moved on to other women. Hurt other people. Because Shaw took a bribe to make my case disappear.”
“That’s horrible.”
“But it’s over now. They caught him. And they’re reopening my case. I might actually get justice.” Avery managed a small smile. “Thanks to your boyfriend. Detective Black. He’s the one who figured out Shaw was dirty. Who exposed everything.”
Nora felt a complex mix of emotions. Pride that Carson had done this. Had fought for these victims. Had pursued justice even when it cost him personally.
But also sadness. Because this was exactly why they couldn’t make it work. Because Carson would always do this. Would always sacrifice everything for the case. For justice. For victims who needed him.
And where did that leave her?
An officer called them to the main conference room where the press conference would be held. Nora took a seat in the back, watching Carson and Captain Holloway set up at the front.
Carson looked exhausted. Devastated. Like he’d aged years overnight.
Their eyes met across the room. Something passed between them—recognition, longing, pain.
Then he looked away, focusing on his notes.
***