Chapter 24
Carson arrived at the park thirty minutes early.
He couldn’t help it. Nervous energy had driven him from the apartment before he could second-guess himself. He found a bench overlooking the lake—the same lake where he’d gone fishing during his leave—and tried to steady his breathing.
Two weeks. Two weeks of therapy, of self-reflection, of trying to become someone who could have a healthy relationship.
Was it enough?
He didn’t know. But it was all he had to offer.
At 1:45, he saw her. Nora walked across the grass toward him, and Carson’s heart clenched. She looked beautiful—jeans, a soft blue sweater, her hair down around her shoulders. But also guarded. Cautious.
Like she was preparing for disappointment.
“Hi,” she said, stopping a few feet away.
“Hi.” Carson stood, resisting the urge to pull her into his arms. “Thanks for meeting me.”
“Of course.” She gestured to the bench. “Should we sit?”
They sat with careful distance between them. Not touching. Not quite looking at each other directly.
“You look good,” Nora said finally. “Rested.”
“I’ve been sleeping. Actually sleeping. Eight hours a night.” He managed a small smile. “Turns out that’s important.”
“Revolutionary concept for you.”
“Yeah.” He turned to face her more fully. “Nora, I need to say something before we talk about anything else. I’m sorry. For choosing the job over you. For making promises I couldn’t keep. For being so consumed by work that I forgot you needed me too.”
“I know you’re sorry—”
“No, let me finish. Please.” He took a breath.
“I’ve spent two weeks in therapy. Really working on myself.
And I learned something important. I wasn’t just obsessed with work.
I was using work to avoid dealing with grief and guilt I’ve been carrying since I was seventeen.
Since Lily disappeared and my dad died. I’ve been trying to save everyone else to make up for the people I couldn’t save.
And it’s been destroying me. Destroying us. ”
Nora’s expression softened slightly. “Carson—”
“I can’t promise I’m completely fixed,” he hurried on.
“Two weeks of therapy doesn’t undo nineteen years of trauma.
But I can promise I’m doing the work. Really doing it.
Not just when you’re watching. Not just until the next big case.
I’m committed to changing. To being someone who can have a life outside the badge. ”
“What does that look like? Practically?”
She was asking questions. He’d take that as a good sign.
“I’ve set boundaries with work. I’m back tomorrow, but I’ve talked to Captain Holloway. I’m taking weekends off unless there’s an absolute emergency. I’m delegating more. Trusting my team to handle things without me micromanaging. And I’m continuing therapy twice a week for the foreseeable future.”
“That’s good. Really good.” Nora looked out at the lake. “Carson, boundaries and therapy are great. But I need to know if you’ve actually internalized why this matters. Why choosing me sometimes isn’t a betrayal of victims or your duty. Why having a life matters.”
“I have. Dr. Carpenter helped me understand something.” Carson shifted to face her fully. “I’ve been living like I’m always in crisis mode. Like if I let my guard down for even a moment, someone will die. Someone will suffer. And I’ll be responsible.”
“But that’s not realistic.”
“I know. Logically, I’ve always known. But believing it is different.
And I’m starting to believe it.” He paused.
“The Shaw case? Finn handled most of the follow-up investigation while I was on leave. Knox and Silas conducted interviews. Jade processed evidence. And you know what? They did great. Justice is being served. Victims are getting closure. Without me being there every second.”
“And how does that make you feel?”
“Honestly? Scared at first. Like I was failing those victims by not being involved. But then—” He smiled slightly. “Then I felt relieved. Because the weight of saving everyone doesn’t rest entirely on my shoulders. There are competent people doing good work. I don’t have to do it all.”
Nora’s eyes filled with tears. “That’s exactly what I needed to hear. That you understand you’re not the only person capable of helping people.”
“I’m not. And more importantly—I’m not required to sacrifice my entire life for the job. I can be a good detective and still have a life. Still have relationships. Still choose you sometimes without feeling like I’m failing.”
“Sometimes,” Nora repeated. “Not always.”
“Not always. I can’t promise I’ll never get called away.
Can’t promise there won’t be cases that demand more time and energy.
But I can promise that you’ll be a priority.
That I’ll communicate. That when I have to choose work, I’ll explain why and make it up to you.
And that most of the time—most of the time—I’ll choose us. ”
Nora wiped her eyes. “I never expected you to choose me all the time. I just needed to know you could choose me sometimes. That I wasn’t always going to come last.”
“You won’t. I promise. And, Nora—” He reached for her hand, then stopped, asking permission with his eyes.
She nodded, and he took her hand in his.
“This isn’t just about keeping you. It’s about being a person who can have healthy relationships.
Who doesn’t use work to avoid dealing with life. Who actually lets himself be happy.”
“Are you? Happy?”
“Getting there. The two weeks off were hard at first. I didn’t know what to do with myself. But then I remembered things I used to enjoy. I went fishing. I cooked actual meals. I read books that had nothing to do with crime. And I realized…I can be more than just a detective. I want to be more.”
Nora squeezed his hand, her eyes suddenly glossy. “I’m proud of you. For doing this work. For taking it seriously.”
“So where does that leave us?”
She was quiet for a long moment. “I don’t know. I want to believe you’ve changed. I want to trust that this time is different. But I’m scared. Scared of hoping again and being disappointed.”
“That’s fair. I’ve given you plenty of reasons to be scared.”
“So maybe—” Nora took a breath. “Maybe we take this slow. Start over in some ways. Date. Rebuild trust. See if you can maintain these changes when you’re back at work and cases start piling up.”
“I can do that. Slow. Dating. Whatever you need.”
“I’m not moving back in. Not yet. I need my own space. Need to see that you can respect boundaries even when we’re not living together.”
“Okay.”
“And we check in regularly. Really check in. About how we’re feeling, what we need, whether this is working. No pretending everything’s fine when it’s not.”
“I can do that too.” Carson brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. “Nora, I’ll do whatever it takes. Whatever pace you need. Because losing you these past two weeks has been the hardest thing I’ve faced in years. Harder than any case. Harder than anything.”
“I missed you too. So much.” She moved closer on the bench. “But missing each other isn’t enough. We have to be able to build something sustainable. Something that works in real life, not just in the moments between crises.”
“We will. I promise. And I’m not making empty promises anymore. When I say something, I mean it.”
“Show me.” She looked at him with those dark eyes that saw everything. “Starting now. Show me you’re different.”
Carson thought about the old version of himself. The one who would have tried to convince her with words. Who would have made grand gestures and declarations.
But Dr. Carpenter had taught him something important: real change showed in actions, not promises.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll show you. Starting with this. I’m not going to pressure you to move back in. I’m not going to rush this process. I’m going to respect your boundaries even when it’s hard. Even when I want to push for more.”
“That’s a good start.”
“And I’m going to keep going to therapy. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when it brings up things I’d rather avoid. Because I want to be healthy. For me. For us.”
“Also good.”
“And—” He pulled out his phone. “I’m going to show you my calendar. See? I blocked off every weekend for the next month. And Tuesday and Thursday evenings. That’s time for us. Time I’m not available for work except in absolute emergencies.”
Nora looked at the calendar, and fresh tears spilled over. “You actually scheduled us. Into your calendar.”
“I did. Because you were right. If something matters, you make time for it. You don’t just hope it fits into the gaps. You prioritize it.”
She leaned into him, and Carson wrapped his arm around her shoulders. They sat like that for a long moment, just holding each other, both processing what this meant.
“This is going to be hard,” Nora said against his chest. “Learning to trust again. Learning to believe you’ve changed.”
“I know. But I’m not going anywhere. I’ll show up for every date. Every check-in. Every moment you need me. I’ll prove I’m different.”
“And if you slip up? If you fall back into old patterns?”
“Then you call me on it. And I fix it. And we figure it out together.” He pulled back to look at her. “But I’m not going to slip back. Because I finally understand what I was doing wrong. And why. And I can’t unsee that.”
She studied his face, searching for something. Whatever she found must have satisfied her because she nodded.
“Okay. Let’s try. Slow. With clear boundaries. And honest communication.”
“Deal.”
“And Carson? I’m going to keep staying at the apartment with Lila for now. Just until I’m sure. Is that okay?”
“It’s okay. Whatever you need.” He meant it. Even though he wanted her home with him, wanted to wake up next to her every morning, he understood. Trust had to be rebuilt. And that took time.
“Thank you for understanding.”