38. Adrian
I sat there looking at the email from my contact in human resources. She had interviewed about a dozen prospective candidates for a job that wasn’t even available at the moment. I normally didn’t do things like this, and it was likely the reason I felt so out of sorts. I was not only breaking my organized nature, but I was about to do something that could have catastrophic effects to the world as I now knew it. If I followed through with this plan of mine, there would be no turning back. The monster would be unmasked, and no disguise would ever cover me again.
I continued rolling my pen in my hand. For the last twenty minutes, I had been looking at Geraldine’s selection. She had given me the top three scorers, but I only needed one. This job was being made for Brynn, and for only her. Once she accepted my offer of employment, we would be face to face where everything would change.
“Who are you?”
“You know who I am.”
“No. You know what I mean. Who are you really, Erebus? You have to have a name.”
“I do, but you know the rules.”
Blair had not only known them, but I did. Hell, I helped to create them, yet here I was about to roll them all back. And for what? A submissive who I would likely tire of me sooner rather than later? It was bound to happen. It always did.
There was no mystery that it took a certain type of person to engage in the lifestyle that we did. Dominants had one set of rules, and submissives had another. Together, it all centered on trust.
At Lotus, that was put to the test night after night. Not a single Dominant there gave more than was necessary in a scene, and especially outside of one. Who we were in the real world made no difference. They trusted us under that roof to see to their needs, including ones they might not even know they have.
My name, or anything else about me had never been important. It didn’t mean I hadn’t been asked once or twice. I played with a certain type of woman, so my scenes required the ultimate level of trust because of the danger involved. I’d barely cracked the surface with Brynn, and I was already breaking cardinal rules.
I couldn’t get the phone call I had last received about her from my head. That prick she worked with had not only drugged her, but he had assaulted her. And that had been after he had broken into her house. For weeks, Brynn had been on edge after the break-in, and the one responsible had been working beside her day after day.
The betrayal she had to live with had actually penetrated the iron clad shell I kept erected around myself. I was never one to show this much concern for another. Entanglements were the last thing I needed in my life. When not at Lotus, I preferred the solitude of my world. I loved my empty penthouse, and the routine I had created was rooted in stone.
Or so I thought.
In the past few weeks, I had done things with her that I never did with others. She had my personal phone number, and we used it to text back and forth with one another when we were not on Olympus. The other pain sluts I played with in the past had never gotten that far. The more rope you gave someone, the more they pulled. Eventually, something would have to give, and when it did, someone found themselves on the wrong end of it.
Blair Carter’s death was like a noose around my neck. She might have been the one that died, but I lived with the regret which made living a hell worse than death. Her voice... her face... her parting words... they all stayed with me, and each one was another weight being added to the anchor keeping me submerged in darkness. The only light I seemed to have afterward came via moments with Brynn.
I like her. God help me, but I do.
That alone should have made me thrust her aside. I could set her up with a number of other Dominants at Lotus, but the very idea of them touching her made my skin itch. It also made me angry. Well, maybe jealous was a better word. Whatever one called it, I didn’t like it one bit, yet I found myself helpless to end it.
This Randall bastard had also dared to touch what was mine. Brynn might not know it, and I might not want to truly admit it, but she was under my guidance and protection. I had a certain fondness for her, and I couldn’t let anyone hurt her. A chuckle then escaped as I realized hiring Brynn might hurt her. I would deal with being her tormentor, and I would.
Before I could hire her and unveil myself, I had something very important to take care of. This, too, had been something I had been dreading for days. I kept trying to tell myself that this would be more for her, but it was for me, and the woman I wanted to keep for myself.
The email was still on my screen, and it was like a flashing beacon. I needed to just get this over and done with. Picking up my phone, I hit the speed dial key and seconds later, Bea answered.
“Do you need something Mr. Benedict?”
“Actually, I do. Why don’t you come inside my office for a bit?”
I disconnected the call, and a few seconds later, she was standing in my doorway. In her hand, she had a notebook and pen, and I realized her preparedness was something that would be sorely missed. When it came to Brynn, I had no idea what kind of employee she truly was. All I knew was that she followed my instructions when she was naked. In a more neutral environment, could I say the same? There was only one way to find out, but first...
“Come inside and take a seat.”
She closed the door behind her, and without a care in the world, she breezed over to my desk and sat down opposite of me. As she flicked the top off of the pen, I reached out and place my hand over hers.
“You won’t need to use that.”
“Very well, Mr. Benedict. What assistance can I provide for you?”
I knew I should rip the band-aid off and just tell her that she was being replaced through no fault of her own, but I couldn’t find the words to tell her. She had been nothing but loyal to me for a decade, and this act of betrayal should not be a punishment for it, but it would be that no matter how I proceeded.
“How is Walter doing?” Her mouth thinned at the mention of her husband. I almost wondered if I had remembered his name wrong. “It is Walter, yes?”
“Yes,” she replied. “He’s doing as best as he can in this situation. It is hard to watch someone you love so much become a shell of themselves over something that can’t be changed.”
I realized that I had something in common with her husband because after Aria’s death, I’d also closed myself off to everyone and everything. All the things I liked and did before provided no joy. Life had no meaning, and if I was being honest, nothing had changed in all these years, or had it? Brynn actually provided me with some semblance of joy. She made me smile, and naturally without being forced. Bea smiled at me that way too, and now I would be forced to wipe it off of her face.
“I feel for you, and him both. Have you considered taking some time off to be with him?”
And by time, I mean permanently.
“Of course not. You need me, Mr. Benedict.”
“It sounds like he needs you, too.”
“Bollocks. He is just wasting away, and the only ones who can get through to him are the home health nurses and aides that my salary pays for. My being at home with him will only upset him more.”
“Why would it upset him? I would think he would be thankful for this time with you.”
She smiled wearily. “He sees me as some sort of warden. I have taken away everything he loves, or at least that is how he sees it. Since I mentioned my desire to put our Park City cabin up for sale, he can barely stand to look at me.”
“You put it up for sale?” I remembered her talking about how much her family enjoyed the ski town around the holidays.
“His medical care is very expensive, even with the insurance you so generously provide. Walter doesn’t have much longer to live, so the place wouldn’t get much use anyway. You see, Walt and his brothers built that cabin with their own hands two decades ago, and I could never be there without him. It would be too hard.”
That was also something I knew about. I fled Greece at the first opportunity because the ghost of my twin sister was everywhere I had turned. Whether it was places we frequented, or places we’d wanted to go, I saw them all. I would then be reminded of how I held her dead body in my hands as I willed her to come back to me. To come back and do the things in those places we had always talked about.
I couldn’t give my sister that, but I could provide it for Bea and Walter. Making a mental note to check on properties there for sale, I decided to focus on the immediate task at hand. When I looked at her face, I actually felt remorse which was another foreign feeling.
“I think the two of you should go back there. Back to Utah.”
“I couldn’t. I have my job here, and?—”
“What if you didn’t?”
“If I didn’t what?”
“If you didn’t have a job here.”
Her head snapped back as if I had struck her. Dismay then filled her face. “Have I done something to disappoint you, Mr. Benedict?”
“For starters, no more of this Mr. Benedict. You make me sound older than my father. You’re to call me Adrian.”
“You’re such a young thing. You shouldn’t feel old at all.”
I smiled. “Second, I think it is more important for you to spend these last few days, weeks, or months with your husband in a place that brings you both so much joy. As you know, I have been traveling a lot more than usual, and with each successful trial for these microchips, it is only going to increase.”
“I can run things for you from here. I have been trying hard to keep on top of everything during your Asia trips, Adrian.”
“And you have done a meticulous job, but I need someone who can travel to these places with me.”
“Anything you need, I?—”
“I’m not the one in need, Bea. Your husband is which is why I am prepared to offer you a retirement package that will provide for you and him. I don’t talk about my personal life at all, but I had a sister who’d also passed away. I would give absolutely anything to be able to spend all this lost time with her. I don’t want you to give your misplaced loyalty to me, then one day wake up and regret giving me your time instead of him.”
“But, I?—”
“You have been a godsend to me. You’ve been here with me from the very beginning, and I want to reward you for all the time you’ve invested in me. Please accept the package I’m prepared to offer you, then move with Walter back to Utah where the two of you can live out your remaining days together.”
“I don’t really know what to say. Have you considered who you might want to hire?”
“I actually have, and I’m prepared to offer her your job.”
“I see.” She now had that clipped tone she had used once or twice with me over the years. Usually, it had been when I messed something up that she had done. The two of us were not close, but we understood the other without the need to be.
“I will make sure that you can retire and never have to worry about your finances again. All you have to do is say the word.”
“This was the last thing I expected, and I can see that maybe you are right. Walter has been so upset since I told him we could not go back to the mountains this year. He has no idea that I have actually put the place up for sale. It would kill him, and probably even sooner than his cancer. If I went home and told him to pack, he would be so happy.”
“Then do it. Make his last days ones he will remember, and ones that you will as well.” I recalled the last few encounters I’d had with Aria, and I wished I would have stayed home that last night instead of going to the club, then later to the docks. “I want to do this for you, and for him. Let me repay you for all you’ve done for me.”
“I would say that I need to talk it over with Walt, but I won’t keep you waiting. I will do it. I’ll retire and let you hire someone else who can be what you need her to be for you.”
“I appreciate it, and I will miss you, Bea. I know we’ve rarely had personal conversations, but I respect you greatly. My admiration for you is without question. I’ll see that you’re compensated for the years you’ve devoted to me. I do have one final ask of you, though.”
“Anything,” she told me.
I flipped my screen around and showed her Brynn’s photograph and name. “I need you to do her second interview, because she is the one I intend to hire.”
“I will get this handled for you right away.”
“Thank you. I will forward her interview invite to you. It’s tomorrow.”
“I will take care of it. If there’s nothing else you need from me, I would like to call the realtor to stop the listing.”
“Go ahead. I’ll let you know if I need anything further from you today.”