Chapter 11 #2
I cocked my head, wondering what Ryan had told him to have him pulling his punch earlier. I didn’t believe for a second that it was just because I’d cared for him while he’d been sick. “It’s more likely that I’m going to be the one getting hurt at the end of this.”
“And I won’t lose a wink of sleep over it.” Xander’s lip curled back in a sneer. “It’ll be no less than you deserve.”
“I agree.”
Ryan wandered back into the room and Xander casually drew back a step. The easy grin he gave Ryan had my eyes narrowing. The guy slipped between personas faster than I did. It made me wonder if Ryan had ever seen the other side of him.
At least that wasn’t the case with me. Ry had seen me at my best and worst. There was no fear that I might reveal a part of myself he couldn’t stand. I already knew he was barely tolerating my presence. It was a relief, in a way, to know I was already at rock bottom.
Only path on from here was up.
“Go and get set up in the spare room,” Ryan said to Xander, jutting his chin in that direction. “You know where it is.”
Xander pouted. “Aren’t you going to help me with my luggage? You call this service?”
Ryan gave him a flat stare. “I call this ‘me doing you a favour by letting you crash rent-free in my place as long as needed.’”
“Git,” Xander muttered, bending to pick up his backpack. I grabbed his case, flushing as both he and Ryan turned to stare at me.
“What?” I grunted.
Xander’s eyes briefly flashed over me. “He does have all those gorgeous muscles. We might as well put them to good use.”
Ryan’s face darkened. He reached out and pinched Xander’s side. From how Xander winced, he hadn’t held back. “Keep checking him out and you’ll be sleeping on the fucking sofa.”
I turned away before either of them could see the smile on my lips. The smile that only widened at Xander’s drawled response. “Don’t worry, Ryan. I know the mythical and majestic Dominic is all yours.”
There was a smacking noise from behind me that had me biting back a laugh. Yeah, Xander and I were going to be great friends.
Assuming Ryan let me stay in his life long enough for that to happen.
Putting Xander’s case against the wall, I opened a window to let in some air. “Can I do anything else to help?”
From the corner of my eye, I spotted Ryan studying me quizzically.
“Nah, I’m good, man.” Xander dropped his bag on the bed and eyed the sheets. “Please tell me you changed these after sleeping in here.”
I scratched my head. “I haven’t slept in here?”
My confusion had me framing it like a question. Xander turned to frown at Ryan. “I thought you said he stayed here while you were sick.”
I felt my cheeks heat as Ryan blinked slowly, coming to the obvious realisation. “He did…but he slept on the chair in my room.”
Xander raised a brow at me. “That tiny fucking thing he’s had since uni? Why’d you do that when he has a perfectly good spare room?”
This wasn’t a conversation I really wanted to have in front of Xander, but part of our problem last time had been hiding what we were, what we meant to each other. I wasn’t going to do that this time, even if it involved doing something I wasn’t used to.
Being vulnerable in front of others.
“I didn’t want to leave you,” I said hoarsely, only addressing Ryan. “I wanted to be close by in case you needed me.”
“But Xan’s right—that chair’s tiny. You’re…well, you.”
I smiled at how flustered that final part of the sentence made him. “A bit of discomfort won’t kill me, Shadow. I’ve slept in worse places. And it was worth it if it kept you safe and happy.”
My mind flashed back to two nights ago, when Ryan had cried out in a moment of delirium. How he hadn’t settled until I was within touching distance. When he’d whispered six words that had almost broken me.
“Don’t leave me again, Dom. Stay.”
I knew it was probably just the fever talking, but it hadn’t stopped me kneeling by his bed for hours, stroking his hair. All the while, I’d whispered the same reassurance, over and over again.
“I’m never leaving you again, Shadow.”
Clearly, Ryan didn’t remember that, and I wasn’t going to remind him. Not yet, at least. He might not have meant what he’d said, but I had.
I meant it with every fibre of my soul.
“Well as great as this is”—Xander gave a jaw-cracking yawn—“I’m fucking knackered.”
“We’ll leave you to it.” Ryan nodded at the door.
“It was good to meet you.” I clapped Xander on the shoulder as I passed. “Get Ryan to give you my number and we can hang out sometime.”
Ryan was silent as we made our way back to the living room. He didn’t stop there either, walking straight to the front door. My heart sank. Was he going to make me leave immediately?
I wasn’t surprised. It wasn’t like the past few days were going to erase the years of pain I’d caused.
So no, I wasn’t surprised.
I was hurt, though.
Careful not to let it show on my face, I joined him at the doorway. “Enjoy the soup, Shadow.”
He scowled, stepping out after me and closing the door behind him. “I’m not done with you yet.”
My heart leapt. “You’re not?”
“Not even close. But I think it’s best we continue this conversation away from prying ears.”
I took my keys from my pocket, almost vibrating with excitement at the thought of having Ryan in my space again. “I take it Xander’s nosy?”
“Understatement of the year,” Ryan muttered. “He could give you a run for your money, and that’s saying something.”
I went to disagree, but really, he was right.
He stepped into my living room and came to a halt. “You’ve decorated.”
“Yep.” I surveyed the light blue walls. “Like I told you, I’m putting down roots.”
“Hmm.” Ryan scowled. “Is that what you’re doing, being so nice to Xander? Giving him your phone number?”
There was a hint of anger in his voice that had me drifting closer. “Yeah. I want to get to know the bloke.”
My answer was clearly the wrong one. Ryan’s hands fisted, his jaw tight. It had me wanting to draw him into me until all that tension melted away. “Should’ve known it wouldn’t take much to catch your attention.”
My lips twitched with humour, but I wrestled them into submission. “Shadow, the only one who ever has my attention in that way is you.”
“Then why were you so nice to him? I know you, Dominic. You’re never that nice unless you want something.”
“I do want something. I want him to like me. That’s also why I asked for his number. Xander and I should get to know each other.”
“See, you’re saying exactly what I’m thinking.”
“No, you’re hearing what you want to hear.
” I gave in to the impulse and tugged him into my arms. With my cheek resting against his temple, I continued in a low whisper.
“I want him to like me as a friend. Because he’s important to you.
That’s all. I’m not attracted to Xander any more than I am to Mimic. ”
Or Kate, another person he’d shown jealousy over.
But there was no fucking way I was bringing her up right now.
Last thing I needed was to remind Ryan he had no right getting jealous over me when he was weeks away from walking down the aisle with someone else.
Not when I would give anything for him to have that right.
“Fuck,” Ryan groaned, resting his forehead against my shoulder. “I’m being an idiot, aren’t I?”
I turned my face so my lips brushed his cheekbone. Not quite a kiss, but the promise of one. “No, you’re really not. If it helps, I can’t let myself think about you fucking Xander. It definitely won’t help with me getting him to like me.”
He leaned back to study my face. “You’ve never cared about anyone liking you before.”
“That’s not true,” I said hoarsely. “I cared about you liking me.”
Ryan cleared his throat and seemed to remember he shouldn’t be letting me hold him like this. He pulled out of my arms, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Still, you don’t need to go out of your way to befriend Xander.”
“I think you’ll find I do. If he’s important to you, then he’s important to me. I intend on being on good terms with everyone you care about, Ry.”
Ryan took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. “In that case, you really need to go and see your dad.”
I reeled back a step. It wasn’t the first time he’d mentioned my dad, but with this implication? “What? How is Frank important to you?”
He shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Guess you’ll find out when you go and visit him.”
“You can’t be serious.” I stared at him in disbelief as pain cleaved through my chest. “I can’t believe you’re asking this of me. You know what he did. You know, better than anyone. How can you do this?”
Suddenly, Ryan was right in front me, cupping my jaw in his hands. “I know. I do. But can you trust me? I’d never ask you to see someone who’d cause you pain. I wouldn’t send you back there if I believed with even an ounce of my soul that he’d hurt you again. Trust me?”
I searched his guileless eyes and gave a hollow laugh. “Fuck, and I thought I played dirty, Shadow.”
He didn’t smile, just gripped my face with the same fierceness he did my heart. “This will be good for you in the long run. I promise.”
“And if it’s not?”
“It will be,” he said firmly, stroking my jaw. “Trust me, Dominic. Please?”