Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
Selena
Rocco said he loved me.
Three words. Just three small words, and they split me wide open.
I'd waited — god, I'd waited so long to hear them.
Dreamed about them in the dark, alone, wondering if he'd ever let himself say it.
And now, with his body buried inside me and my fangs in his throat and his blood flooding my mouth like liquid fire — hot, spicy, alive — he finally said it.
And it sounded like a funeral.
Every thrust, every breath, every pulse of his blood against my tongue was saying stay. His hands gripping my hips were saying forever.
But his eyes were saying goodbye.
He wasn't fooling me. I knew that look. The tight jaw, the way he held me a little too hard, kissed me a little too desperate. He was memorizing me. Storing me up like a man about to walk into the dark and never come back.
He wanted to walk away.
But I wasn't going to give him that option. Not now. Not ever.
My blood pumped faster, a hot current rushing downward, pooling between my thighs where every nerve ending seemed to spark and sizzle.
I was on fire, my skin flushed and tingling from my cheeks to my chest, each breath catching in my throat as waves of pleasure built upon themselves.
My orgasm came swift and hard, radiating outward from my core in pulsing contractions that left me trembling, gasping, momentarily blind to everything but sensation.
“I’ll never get tired of hearing that,” he panted.
I laid my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. No matter where he went, I would find him. We clung to each other until the shower ran cold. I unhooked my ankles from his hips and he slowly lowered me onto the floor.
Cool air greeted us as we stepped out of the shower. I broke out in goosebumps and rubbed my arms.
Rocco grabbed a towel and dried me off first, slow and careful, before running it over himself.
He yawned.
I chuckled. "Tired?"
He grinned. "You wore me out."
I clasped his hand and led him out of the bathroom. I pulled back the covers and we slid underneath together. Rocco wrapped his arms around me, pulled me against his chest, and I let myself sink into him — his warmth, his weight, the solid wall of him curved around me like a shield.
His breathing slowed. Steadied. His exhales brushed warm across the back of my neck, each one coming longer, deeper, until I felt the exact moment he fell asleep. His arm went heavy across my waist. His jaw relaxed against my hair.
He looked peaceful. For the first time all night, the tension was gone from his face. No clenched jaw. No furrowed brow. No guilt eating him alive behind closed eyes. Just Rocco, finally still.
I wasn't.
Every nerve in my body hummed. My eyes stayed open, fixed on the door, on the window, on the shape of his shoes by the bed. I memorized the weight of his arm. Counted his breaths. Listened for any shift, any change, any sign that he was about to pull away and disappear.
He'd said he loved me like a man saying it for the last time.
I wasn't going to let that be true.
So I lay there, wide awake, his heartbeat steady against my spine, and I kept watch. Over him. Over us.
I would sleep later.
I stared out the window at the stars. The constellations drifted slow across the sky, indifferent to everything happening beneath them.
Rocco stirred. I forced my breathing to stay even. Steady. Asleep.
His lips pressed against the top of my head, lingering one beat too long. The kiss of a man who didn't plan on giving another one.
"I'm sorry, Selena," he whispered. "Just know, I'll always love you."
Like hell.
He slipped into the bathroom and I moved. Fast, silent — vampire fast. Clothes on in seconds. Pillows stuffed under the covers in the shape of a sleeping body. Then I melted into the shadows beside the bed and waited.
He came out of the bathroom in jeans and boots, no shirt.
His old one was caked with blood and mud, ruined beyond saving.
He paused at the bed. Looked down at the shape beneath the covers.
His jaw tightened and I watched his hand reach out — then pull back, like touching me one more time would break his resolve.
He turned toward the door.
I stepped out of the shadows.
"Going somewhere?"
He spun around, fangs bared on instinct. "Selena?" His eyes darted to the bed, to the pillows, back to me. His shoulders dropped. "Damn it."
I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall, blocking the only shadow in the room he could disappear into. "If you leave, I'll just follow you."
"You can't." His voice was raw. He dragged a hand through his hair, the muscles in his bare chest tight, coiled, like a man fighting himself more than me. "I'm too dangerous. I can't be around anyone that I love."
"Love is what's going to set you free."
He let out a bitter laugh — short, ugly, nothing like the grin he'd given me an hour ago. "That's a fairytale, Selena. We both know it."
Something hot flared in my chest. Not hurt. Anger. I stepped toward him, closing the distance he was trying so hard to build.
"No. What I know is that you don't have any faith." I held his gaze and refused to let him look away. "Not in your friends. Not in yourself." My voice cracked, and I hated it, but I kept going. "And not in me."
That one landed. I saw it hit—the flinch behind his eyes, the way his jaw locked like I’d slapped him across the face.
He clasped my shoulders. "That's not true. I do have faith in you. You're a fighter. But you deserve—"
I punched him hard in the chest. "Would you quit saying that?" I shoved him back a step. "Fated mates doesn't mean we're only together when times are easy."
He stared at me, breathing hard. "I know that."
"Then prove it." I closed the distance between us again and looked up into his face. "Stay."
"This isn't up for discussion, Selena."
"The hell it isn't." I stepped closer. "If you love me — if you actually meant what you said in that shower—then give Rose a chance to find a spell. That's all I'm asking. One chance."
He said nothing. His jaw worked.
"Or would you rather spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder, waiting for the next demon to ride piggyback?"
Something flickered across his face. Not quite a smile. But close.
"You really think Rose is going to pull a magic spell out of her hat that repels demons?"
His sarcasm was whittling away at my patience. If I had to toss him on his ass and sit on him, I would.
I crossed my arms and leaned against the door. "Yeah. I do."
"I've been to hell, Selena." His voice dropped. Quiet. Deadly serious. "I've seen what's down there. Rose's little spell isn't going to stop the fires of hell."
"The shard is from heaven, Rocco." I let that land. Watched his face. "It's powerful enough that neither Vex nor Balthazar could touch it. Two demons — one of them ancient — and they couldn't even look at it without screaming. You saw what it did. You were there."
He put his hands on either side of my head. “Get out of my way, Selena.”
His lack of faith was unbelievable. But I wasn't giving up.
"You say you want to stay away from us because you think a demon's always going to ride your ass. I've got news for you, Rocco. Vex knows we're mates. He'll punish me to get to you."
The color drained from his face. He searched my eyes, and I watched the realization hit — slow, sickening. He lowered his head. "Fuck."
"At least find out what Rose has to say. She's a powerful witch. So is Alice. Together they might find a solution."
He raised his head. "And if they can't?"
"You can leave. But know that I'll find you. You can't hide from me."
"I won't let you get hurt."
"I'm the one who used the shard to send Vex to hell." I stepped toward him. "Don't you think I've already got a big fat target on my back?"
I didn’t even want to imagine what plans Vex had for me. But I wasn’t going to flee. That was never my style. There had to be someway to be beat him.
Rocco pushed himself off the door. “Damn it. I should have been the one to sent him back.”
“You were a little busy.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I know being fucking possessed.”
I pushed him hard. “Whether you like it or not Rocco, we’re in this together. I’m ready to fight. Are you?”
We stared at each other for several long heartbeats. He sat on the edge of the bed and hung his head. "You're not going to make this easy, are you?"
"Have I ever?"
He tilted his head back and laughed. A real laugh — rough and tired, but real. "True. You've been a royal pain in my ass." His eyes found mine. Softened. "A pain I'd burn the world down to protect."
"Just like I'll do anything to protect you, Rocco."
He rubbed his forehead. "I'll stay. But I'm not making any promises."
That was all I was going to get from him. Stubborn, brooding, still hell-bent on punishing himself for something that wasn't his fault.
But I was about to destroy that path.