Chapter 17
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Maksim
“What the hell were you thinking? Do you realize you could be dead right now, and there wouldn’t have been a damn thing I could do to save you?” My voice is calm, but the anger simmering beneath it is impossible to miss.
I want to yell at her, to throw every piece of furniture in this room against the walls, because I almost lost her today. If she’d been just a little less careful and hit one of Aleksandr’s arteries, I wouldn’t have been able to stop what came next.
Ivan would have demanded her death. Even with this punishment, I don’t know if he’ll be satisfied. Aleksandr already had his sights set on her, now he’ll be even more obsessed.
“He was cutting her, Maksim,” she whispers harshly, her voice trembling with emotion. “While he was raping her, he was carving lines into her body.”
I close my eyes for a second, trying to keep myself in check. All I want to do is shake her and make her understand that this is just the beginning, that she’ll see worse than this and won’t always be able to intervene.
“Do you think you helped her?” I snap, my frustration spilling over.
“I guarantee you didn’t. When Ivan finds out, and he will find out, he’ll make sure she pays for it.
And not before he comes after me for letting you breathe another day.
FOR GOD’S SAKE, JULIA, YOU CAN’T DO THIS IF YOU WANT TO STAY ALIVE! ”
This time, my words come out as a roar, and before I can stop myself, I grab a monitor and smash it against the floor.
“I won’t intervene again,” she murmurs as she shifts higher onto the bed, trying to hide the pain in her movements. But I know how much those lashes hurt and I hate myself for every mark I left on her skin.
Still, I also know that if I’d chosen a lighter punishment, Ivan would’ve stepped in himself, and there’s no way I’d let him lay a hand on her.
Some of my anger dissipates as I look at her pale face, drained of its usual color.
“Tell me what I can do to make you feel better,” I ask softly, though it’s more of a plea than a question.
A faint smile tugs at her lips despite the pain. “You don’t exactly strike me as someone who knows how to make a caramel cream cake with chocolate and pineapple on top,” she says with a small laugh that quickly turns into a wince.
“Don’t ever put me in that position again, Julia,” I whisper, my voice low but firm. “I hated what I had to do to you.”
“I promise,” she says quietly, and I nod.
“Swear it,” I demand, leaning closer. “Swear to me that you’ll value your life more because if you ever put me in this situation again…I swear I’ll kill every witness before laying another hand on you.”
I wish I could burn the hand that held that whip, erase every moment it caused her pain, but doing so would draw suspicion from all the wrong people. No one can know how much she matters to me or how badly I wanted to take those lashes in her place.
“I swear,” she murmurs, and something in her eyes makes me drop the subject entirely.
I remember why I came back into the house after leaving her alone earlier.
That flash of rage when Akim handed her those flowers, it shouldn’t have mattered, but it did.
And no matter how many times I tell myself that what I feel for her is just human compassion for someone in her situation… it’s a lie.
Without saying anything else, I pull something from my pocket and place it on the nightstand: Martin’s gold tooth, the one I ripped out before dumping his body. With everything that happened after returning from that mission, I’d completely forgotten about it until now.
Her eyes fall on the tooth, and a slight tremor runs through her body.
How stupid do you have to be to give someone their attacker’s tooth as a birthday gift?
“I don’t know what I was thinking,” I mutter apologetically and reach to take it back when she suddenly grabs my hand.
Her finger intertwines with mine, just our pinkies, and when my eyes meet hers, they’re filled with something that looks a lot like fucking gratitude.
“Tell me he suffered,” she whispers softly, and there’s so much emotion in her gaze, a gratitude that I don’t deserve.
No one does.
“Not enough,” I admit bitterly, knowing she can hear the frustration in my voice.
“Is he dead?”
“Yes.”
I watch as she nods, and something shifts in her eyes. Those dark shadows that had been swirling there seem to fade, if only a little.
“Take this painkiller and get some rest,” I tell her, handing her the pill.
She listens without a word, swallowing it before spending the next minute trying to find a comfortable position lying on her stomach. Just as I’m about to stand and leave, her hand reaches out and grabs mine again.
“Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?” she asks softly, her voice heavy with exhaustion. Before I can even respond, I hear her breathing slow into a soft rhythm.
Something tightens in my chest as I look at her, so vulnerable, so small, so breakable. Today was too close. Too close to losing her like I’ve lost so many others. She doesn’t hear me now, but the words escape my mouth anyway.
“I’m afraid that even when you leave…I’ll still want to be there for you.”
I pull out my phone and send a quick message to Carmen about the dessert Julia mentioned earlier. I tell her it’s urgent and that I’ll pick it up in a few hours.
My gaze drifts back to Julia, and before I realize what I’m doing, my fingers are running gently through her hair.
Get up and leave, Maksim.
The thought is sharp and insistent, but my body doesn’t move. Today almost broke every promise I’ve made to myself. If things had gone any further, if I’d been forced to do more, I don’t know how I would’ve come back from it.
I need to figure out how to appease Ivan before he decides to take additional measures against her.
My phone buzzes with a message from Akim:
?
A few days. I need to speak with Ivan as soon as possible. I have to change the narrative somehow because if Aleksandr gets the chance to spew his venom, I don’t know what I’ll do if Ivan demands I punish Julia again.
She’s becoming a weakness.
No, scratch that. She is a weakness.
I feel it in every fiber of my being, invading every part of me. My hand still trembles from holding the whip that struck her. I’m a monster. I have to get her out of here before this place consumes her entirely.
And yet, even though she says my heart isn’t broken, I wish someone could explain why the thought of her leaving sends sharp pangs through this useless piece of flesh in my chest.
Without delaying the inevitable any longer, I step out of the room and call Ivan.
“Maksim,” he answers, his tone making it clear he already knows why I’m calling.
Damn it. They reported to him immediately.
“I’ll make sure she doesn’t step out of line again,” I say through gritted teeth, cutting off any chance for him to argue.
“You’d better, son,” he replies coldly. “Otherwise, I swear, Maksim, you’ll be the one pulling the trigger, and we don’t want that happening again, do we?”
Breathe, Maksim. He’s looking for any sign that you still care.
“Of course not,” I reply evenly.
“There’s something that will require your attention tomorrow,” he adds. “I’ll send you the details via message.”
With that, he hangs up, and only then do I feel like I can breathe again. For now, I’ve bought us some time.
As I reach the end of the hallway, I nearly collide with Zoya. Her hair is braided into two neat pigtails, and her worried eyes are fixed on me.
“How’s Julia?” she asks softly.
“She’d be better off if she stayed out of trouble,” I mutter, though I know she can sense my frustration.
“I’m sorry she upset you, Max,” Zoya says quietly. “Maybe you should send her out with the next convoy.”
Her words make me freeze. The walls in this house have ears, and before she can say another word, I pull her into a corner and motion for her to keep quiet.
“Never talk about that in the house, Zoya!”
She swallows hard and nods quickly. For a moment, her gaze flickers to my lips before she turns away abruptly.
This day is driving me insane.
“Go back to the kitchen,” I order firmly. “And don’t leave until Akim comes for you.”
Her brown eyes soften slightly as she nods again and disappears down the hall.
Once she’s gone, it hits me: I didn’t respond to what she said about Julia leaving with the convoy. Maybe Zoya’s right; maybe it would be safer for Julia to go. But with everything happening with Aleksandr right now, it would be too obvious that I arranged for her removal on purpose.
We’ll have to wait a little longer. What’s a few more weeks when we’ve already waited this long?