Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
“You should go to bed,” he said, his voice sounding rough.
She lifted her head. Her eyes were dark in the low light from the lamp beside the couch. “I don’t want to leave you.”
His heart kicked hard against his ribs. “Maren—”
“I’m not saying that because I feel sorry for you.” Her voice was steady. Clear. “I’m saying it because I want to stay with you.”
Colin searched her face and found no uncertainty there.
Just Maren, looking at him like he was exactly what she wanted.
“You’re sure?” he asked quietly.
“I’ve been sure since you tucked Juni in and read her Rapunzel.” Maren’s mouth curved, soft and a little rueful. “Maybe before that. I’m not great at timelines right now.”
Colin’s laugh came out rough. “Same.”
“So let me stay. Please. Or,” she squeezed his hand, “come with me to my room, and you can stay there instead.”
Colin’s head was spinning.
Does she mean stay-stay? I should clarify. I should—
Maren leaned in and kissed him.
He cupped her face with his free hand and kissed her back, deeper, tasting the chocolate from the cookies Arden had served them earlier. She made a small sound in the back of her throat and he felt his control slip.
When they broke apart, both breathing harder, Maren’s eyes had gone wide and dark.
“Okay,” she whispered. “That was—”
“Yeah.”
“—really good.”
Colin stroked his thumb along her cheekbone, the same way he’d wanted to do a hundred times since he’d met her. “Can I—”
“Yes.” She turned her face into his palm and kissed it. “Whatever you’re about to ask, yes.”
He should’ve laughed. Should’ve teased her about not knowing what he was going to say.
Instead he pulled her into his lap.
Maren came willingly, straddling his thighs, her hands landing on his shoulders for balance. She looked down at him with a slightly dazed expression.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi yourself.”
She bit her lip, and Colin watched her thinking too hard about what came next.
“Hey.” He ran his hands up her sides, feeling the curve of her waist through the soft cotton of her shirt. “We don’t have to—”
“I want to.” The words came fast and certain. Then her voice softened. “I really want to. It’s just been a while and I don’t—I don’t want to use you just because I’m—”
“Stop.” Colin waited until she met his eyes. “You’re not using me.”
“You don’t know what I was going to say.”
“You were going to say you don’t want to use me because you’re lonely or scared or running from what happened to your sister.” His hands settled on her hips, thumbs stroking through the fabric. “And I’m telling you—you’re not. This isn’t that.”
Maren’s breath hitched. “How do you know?”
“Because I don’t want to use you either.” He pulled her closer, just enough that she had to brace her hands on his chest. “I want to do more than help. I want to be more than just your bodyguard.” The confession came easier than it should have. “I want to keep you. Both of you.”
Maren’s eyes went bright.
“Don’t cry.” Colin brushed his thumb under her eye, catching the tear before it fell. “If you cry, I’m going to think I said something wrong.”
“You didn’t.” She laughed softly, blinking back tears. “You said exactly the right thing.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Maren leaned down and kissed him again. Slower this time. Deeper. Her fingers curled into his shirt and Colin let his hands slide up her back, feeling the warmth of her skin through the soft fabric.
When she rocked against him, Colin groaned into her mouth.
Maren pulled back, eyes bright with mischief. “Was that okay?”
“Do it again and find out.”
She did, slowly and deliberately this time. She rolled her hips against his, and Colin’s vision went hazy at the edges.
“Maren.” His voice came out wrecked. “If you keep doing that, this is going to be over embarrassingly fast.”
“How fast is embarrassing?”
“About thirty seconds if you’re not careful.”
She laughed and God, he loved seeing her like this. Playful. Present. Not running from anything.
“Then maybe we should slow down,” she said, even as her fingers found the hem of his shirt and tugged. “I want this to last all night.”
Colin caught her hands. “You sure?”
“I already said yes, didn’t I?”
“I need to hear it again.” He held her gaze. “I need to know you want this. That you want me.”
Maren pulled one hand free and touched his face, fingers tracing the line of his jaw.
“I want you, Colin Hale,” she said quietly. “I want you so much it scares me. But I’m choosing it anyway. I’m choosing you.”
His heart skipped. “Okay,” he managed. “Okay.”
He pulled his shirt over his head, hyper-aware of her eyes on him as she took in the muscle and the scars, the evidence of his years in the Rangers.
“You’re—” Maren’s hand landed on his chest, right over his heart. “God, you’re—”
“Old? Worn out?”
“Gorgeous.” She looked up at him. “I was going to say gorgeous.”
Colin felt his face heat. “I’m not—”
“Shut up.” She kissed him to prove the point. “You are. Let me have this.”
So he did.
He let her touch him. Let her map the lines of his shoulders, his arms, his chest. Let her trace the scar on his ribs from a training accident in his early twenties and the newer one on his shoulder from a bullet that had come too close.
When she pressed her lips to that one, Colin’s breath stopped.
“Your turn,” he said roughly.
Maren sat back, her gaze a little shy. Then she grabbed the hem of her own shirt and pulled it over her head in one quick motion.
Colin inhaled sharply.
She was wearing a simple cotton bra but the sight of her, flushed and wanting, was the most erotic thing he’d ever seen.
“Okay?” she asked, uncertainty creeping into her tone.
“More than okay.” Colin ran his hands up her sides, thumbs brushing the underside of her breasts. “You’re perfect.”
“I’m not—”
“You are.” He kissed her collarbone, the notch of her throat, the spot just below her ear that made her gasp. “And I’m going to spend the rest of the night proving it.”
“The rest of the night?”
“Just like you wanted. If you’ll let me.”
Maren’s answer was to reach back and unhook her bra.
Colin helped her slide it off and then just looked at her. At the woman who’d chosen him.
“Colin.” Her voice was soft. Almost shy. “You’re staring.”
“Yeah.” He cupped her breast, feeling the weight of it in his palm, the way her nipple tightened against his thumb. “I am.”
She arched into his touch, head falling back, and Colin bent to take her other nipple in his mouth.
The sound she made went straight through him.
“Bed,” he managed. “We should—”
“Yes.”
Colin stood, taking her with him, and Maren wrapped her legs around his waist with a surprised laugh.
“Show off.”
“Ranger training.” He carried her down the hall to her room and laid her down on the bed, following her down. “Comes in handy.”
“I bet.” She pulled him into another kiss, and this one was different. Hungrier. Less careful.
Colin let himself sink into it. Let himself touch her without second-guessing. His hand found the button of her jeans and he pulled back just enough to ask, “Okay?”
“God, yes.”
He made quick work of her jeans and underwear, sliding them down her legs and tossing them somewhere toward the floor. When he looked back, Maren was watching him with dark eyes and flushed cheeks.
“You’re still dressed,” she pointed out.
“Working on it.”
Colin stood long enough to shuck his own jeans and boxer briefs. When he turned back, Maren’s eyes had gone wide.
“Oh,” she said softly, staring at his hard cock.
“Problem?”
“The opposite of a problem.” She bit her lip. “Come here.”
Colin climbed back onto the bed and settled between her legs, bracing himself on his forearms so he wasn’t giving her all his weight. Maren’s hands found his shoulders and slid to his back, pulling him closer.
“I’m—” She stopped. Started again. “It’s just…been a while.”
“Same.” Colin kissed her gently. “We’ll go slow.” He languidly kissed his way down her body—her throat, her breasts, her stomach—taking his time until he was settled between her thighs.
“Colin, you don’t have to—oh.”
He looked up at her, grinning, her taste still on his tongue and lips. “Want me to stop?”
“Don’t you dare.”
So he didn’t.
He tasted and teased her until she was gasping his name and her fingers were twisted in his hair. When she came against his mouth, Colin felt it like a victory.
He worked his way back up her body, kissing every inch of skin he could reach.
Maren pulled him into a kiss that he deepened.
“Condom,” Colin managed. “I don’t—I didn’t bring—”
“It’s okay. I’m on birth control. And, again, it’s been a while.”
“Same for me. I’m clean.”
She kissed him again. “I want you inside me,” she said against his lips.
When he settled back between her legs, Maren reached down and guided him to her.
“Ready?” he asked quietly.
“So ready.”
Colin pushed inside slowly, watching her face, looking for any sign of discomfort or regret. He found neither.
“Okay?” he managed.
“Perfect.” She wrapped her legs around his waist.
He moved inside her; careful strokes at first as he learned what she liked. What made her gasp and what made her dig her nails into his shoulders.
“Colin.” Her voice was breathy. “I need… I want…”
“Tell me.”
“Faster. Please.”
He gave her what she asked for. Faster, deeper, until they were both gasping and the only sounds in the room were skin against skin and Maren softly crying out his name.
“Let go, baby,” he coaxed her. “Give it to me.”
When she came, squeezing all around him, the waves of pleasure pulled him right over the edge with her.
Colin collapsed beside her, breathing hard, and Maren immediately curled into his side.
“That was—” She stopped. Laughed softly. “I don’t have words.”
“Good?”
“Better than good.” She pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “Perfect.”
Colin wrapped his arm around her, holding her close.
“Stay?” she asked quietly.
“I was planning on it.”
“All night?”
“If you’ll have me.”
Maren lifted her head to look at him. “Oh, I’ll have you,” she said. “For as long as you’ll let me.”
Colin pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“That might be a while,” he said quietly. “Fair warning.”
“Good.” Maren settled against his chest with a contented sigh. “That’s exactly what I was hoping you’d say.”