Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
HE SAID NOTHING, SIMPLY stood there, staring at her. He didn’t push, even though she could tell he wanted to do just that. He just waited, and the look in his eyes told her he fought to maintain that amount of patience. Well, he wasn’t the only one.
She stared at him, taking him in, his appearance, his stance.
He was more toned than she remembered, muscles pulling against his shirt, even though he was still slender, almost like a dancer who lifted weights.
His dark blond hair was tousled, as if he didn’t own a brush or couldn’t be bothered to comb it, and his blue-green eyes, which she remembered always sparkling with mischievous intent, now growled at her.
She took in a slow breath, close enough to him to smell the faint traces of sandalwood she remembered from when they were teens, and she dropped her gaze, smiling that at least something of the man she remembered hadn’t changed.
Then she remembered all the images she saw on the laptop of him with all those women and remembered that they both had changed quite a lot. Unlike him, though, she did it alone.
“I didn’t leave because I wanted to.” Her voice cracked on the last word, and she looked up into his stormy eyes. “I left because I had to; there was no other choice. They didn’t give me a choice.”
That muscle in his jaw jumped again, but still, he didn’t speak.
She took another slow breath, turning back to the window, unshed tears pricking at her eyes.
“I didn’t find out until they shuffled us off to Oregon that it was even happening, but my mother witnessed a federal crime.
Saw something she was never supposed to see, and someone figured out she talked.
She agreed to testify, which brought death threats against her, against my father, me, my sister.
We were followed, watched. Someone even cloned my phone at some point, even though I have no idea how or when, which is probably why I even got into the field I’m in now.
They even tried to grab me outside of school one day while you were at practice.
Only another teacher being nearby kept it from happening.
Then they put us in a safe house finally and cut me off from the world.
His breath hitched at that, but she didn’t give him time to speak.
“They told us if we didn’t disappear, we’d end up dead. So we disappeared. But they never asked me if that’s what I wanted, never even offered me an option.”
She dropped her arms to her sides, her fists clenching, more out of instinct than defensiveness.
“I went to sleep Julia Maria Moretti and woke up Delaney Mae Rhodes. Everything I knew was gone. No friends. No home. I couldn’t call anyone to tell them I was leaving.
Couldn’t even write a simple note. Trust me, I tried.
” She glanced at his reflection in the window.
“And there was no more you. They didn’t give me a choice about that either, didn’t even tell me what was going on while it was happening.
I couldn’t take my laptop, my phone, nothing that would tie me to who I was. Nothing they could use to find us.”
His lips parted to say something, but she steamrolled ahead.
“You want to know what it’s like growing up like that?
Knowing your entire identity is a lie, some creation a guy at a computer put together?
That your birthday, your driver’s license, your name is just a code on a file?
It’s not even my actual birthday anymore.
Now I have to celebrate in August, rather then in March when I was really born.
Do you want to know what it’s like that the people you love—your grandparents, your friends, your first love—are all memories you have to pretend you don’t remember?
” She closed her eyes, fighting back the tears before they could slip down her cheeks.
“It was hell. That’s what it was. We have no family we can go to.
My parents can’t even reach out to theirs to tell them they’re all right or to see if they’re even alive anymore. ”
“Jesus, Julia…”
She flinched at the sound of her real name on his lips. “There is no Julia anymore. Don’t you understand? Aren’t you listening?”
“I’m sorry,” he rushed to say, stepping forward. “Fine, Delaney. Your name isn’t who you are inside. I’m—”
“I can’t be that person anymore,” she whispered. “It’s not safe.”
Robert’s gaze searched hers, and for a moment, the air between them softened.
But then she took a deep breath and forced herself to look away.
“You need to go. And you need to stop acting like you know me. I’m sorry, but there’s no going back.
It could cost my family everything. Could cost them their lives. ”
His brow furrowed. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You don’t understand—”
“Then help me understand,” he snapped, cutting her off. “I can’t pretend you’re not standing right here in front of me.”
She shook her head. “You don’t get it. It might have been fifteen years ago, but that doesn’t mean it’s over, that we’re safe.
My parents are still in hiding, still running from people who want to make my mother pay for testifying.
We have to be careful with everything we do, always looking over our shoulders.
It’s no way to live, but it’s the only one we have available to us. ”
“I don’t understand,” he said, voice rough. “Why are you here now then? Working this job? If it’s so dangerous, why are you out in the open and not hidden in some small town somewhere? You have a name, a top position in a company, a company you built. Why aren’t you still hiding like they are?”
She sighed, slipping her hands to her hips.
“Because I thought this job was small enough that I wouldn’t run into anyone I knew.
I was tired of simply hiding behind a desk.
I know what the hell I’m doing at this job and I’m damn good at it.
I wanted to try the field, and I fought like hell to get the chance.
You don’t know how hard I had to fight to get this. ”
His expression changed to one of disbelief. “But it could get you killed. Why would you risk that?”
She smiled at him, her head falling to the side slightly.
“Because I grew tired of small town life. Because I have dreams just like everyone else, and I was tired of someone keeping me from accomplishing those dreams. What’s the point of being safe if you suffocate in the process? And trust me, I was suffocating.”
He stared at her, but she refused to squirm under his scrutiny. She did what she needed to do for her family, just like she did back then. But now it was time to get some portion of her life back. Fifteen years was long enough to hide.
“I wish you would’ve told me,” he said, brow furrowed. “You could’ve reached out to me, asked for my help, told me you were alive.”
She let out a bitter laugh. “And say what, exactly? ‘Hi, Robert, remember me? The girl who broke your heart when I vanished one night? Hey, I’ve been hiding for the past decade and a half. Want to grab some coffee and catch up?’”
He stepped closer, his fists unclenched, arms still at his sides. “You still should’ve told me. We made promises to each other. You should’ve kept yours.”
“I couldn’t.” She held her ground, even though her voice shook. “I still can’t. This is as close to the truth as we can get, Robert. I won’t risk my parents being discovered.”
“I get that, but you don’t get to decide what I can handle.” His voice was low but intense, sending a shiver down her back. “You don’t get to protect me from this now that I know what’s going on.”
“I wasn’t protecting you,” she snapped. “I was protecting me. I’m protecting them. If I let you in—if I let myself want that again—I could never survive losing you twice.”
That shut him up, and he simply stared at her, mouth ajar.
She turned back to the window, arms tight again as she did her best to slow her breathing, as well as the hammering of her heart.
“You don’t think I remember those promises?” she whispered. “You were the only real thing I ever had. And when they ripped me away from you, when I lost you, it felt like I lost myself too. I never wanted to break those promises to you, but my mother needed this. I couldn’t not give it to her.”
The room stretched in silence, with only the hum of the air conditioning vent filling the space. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears.
“I still wear it,” she heard him say.
She turned, confusion pinching her brow. “Wear what?”
He reached into the collar of his shirt and pulled out the thin chain around his neck.
She felt her eyes go wide for a second when she saw it. Her ring. The promise ring they’d exchanged one night when they were kids dreaming of forever and planning their wedding for after she graduated, when there was still a future to plan together.
She placed a hand to her mouth as a choked sob slipped past her fingers. There was no way to stop the tears now.
“I never stopped,” he whispered, taking another step toward her. “Never stopped wondering. Never stopped hoping. I thought maybe you were sick. Or maybe you hated me for something I didn’t even know I did. But I never imagined… this.”
She stepped back, her heart pounding so hard she swore her chest would explode. “You can’t—”
“I can.” He moved closer, too close. “You think this is about the past, but it’s not. It’s about right now. About you standing here, in front of me, trying to push me away when we both know you’re still mine.”
“I’m not yours.”
“You will always be mine.”
She made a slow swing of her head, staring into his eyes. “I can’t.”
He stopped, staring at her. “Then tell me to go and mean it.”
She opened her mouth, ready to tell him, needing to tell him. Then closed it again.
“You don’t understand,” she whispered. “It’s too dangerous.”
“Sweetie, I eat dangerous for breakfast.”
She laughed through her tears. “You think that’s funny?”
“No,” he said. “I think it’s fate. I think life prepared me for this very moment.”
She wiped at her face, frustrated as her past slammed into her present, threatening to upend her future. “I can’t do this, Bobby.” She reached out, placing a hand on his chest. “There’s too much at stake.”
“You’re doing this.” His voice softened. “Look at me, Jules.”
She did. How could she not? As much as she knew she needed to walk away, she couldn’t force herself to take that first step now that he was standing right there in front of her.
“I don’t care what name you use. I don’t care what shadows are chasing you. I just want to know the woman you are now. I want to help. I want to understand. But you have to let me in.”
“I don’t know how.”
“Then we’ll figure it out together, but we will figure it out.”
Silence again. Her heart thundered against her ribs as she stared at him, wanting desperately to grasp hold of everything he offered.
He closed the distance and pulled her into his arms.
She didn’t resist, even though she knew she should, because she wanted it as much as he did.
When they stepped back out into the main room, it was clear the others had told the marshal about the web searches.
The marshal growled as he gave a slow swing of his head. “But we weren’t the only ones who noticed the search on Julia Moretti.”
She spun to Bobby, then back to the others in the room. “What do you mean? Who else was searching for me?”
The room went still. The youngest of the group shifted awkwardly by the table, the one by the computer monitors frowned at the tension, and the one she had spotted always at Bobby’s side leaned against the wall like he was ready to jump in if it all went sideways.
Bobby ran a hand over his mouth. “When I asked Blaze to run the first one on Julia after I thought I saw you on the casino floor, the marshals weren’t the only ones who noticed.”
Deke glanced at her, a scowl twisting his features. “Told you this was a bad idea.” He growled at Bobby. “You don’t know what you set into motion.”
“I didn’t know there would be monitors on her name,” Bobby muttered. “Kind of happens when you’re left in the dark when the woman you love vanishes overnight.”
“Well, you just painted a bullseye on her back,” Deke said. “And put her entire family’s safety at risk.”
Bobby turned to her. “I never meant to hurt you or cause any of this to happen. I just wanted answers. After all these years, I needed to know why you disappeared on me.”
The marshal stepped between them. “Well, it’s too late to put it in the box now. We all need to talk. Because if that second ping came from who I think it did…” He looked at Bobby. “You just let a very dangerous man know Julia Moretti is still alive and where he can find her.”