Quietly Suffocating Scarlett
Quietly Suffocating
Scarlett
I grab a couple of the letters, tuck them into my back pant pocket, and leave Mom’s house. I start the car and sit there for a moment. My face falls in my hands and I cry. I cry for Mom. I cry for Dad. I cry for myself and all that’s been taken away from us because of The Society.
As I wipe the tears away, I pull out my phone and call the only person who will understand. Someone who has been controlled by The Society his entire life.
“Callum…” I don’t know if I’m ready to tell him.
“What is it? Where are you, Scarlett?” There’s panic in his voice.
“No, I’m safe. I just— I just… I’m at my mom’s. I went through some of her things and Callum, it’s so much worse than I ever expected.” Tears return as I lean back against the headrest.
“I’ll be there in five minutes.”
“No, you don’t have to. I know you have a meeting and class today. I just wanted to tell you.” He’s the first person I want to turn to when things go wrong.
“I’m going to go to the gym anyways and see Ricco. I bet that old man misses me.”
“Ha, yeah, you’re not only his best fighter, you’re also his top client.” He teases.
“Hey, other people go there!”
“Angel, I’ve seen him leave others mid-training just to help you. The guy relies on you.”
I smile. “Thank you.” It was the first time Callum comforted me with humour.
“I’ll see you later. Call if you need me before tonight.”
“I might call just to talk to this sweet side of you again.” He laughs.
“Oh, Scarlett.” He adds. I wait for him to continue.
“Check your glove box,” he says and hangs up.
I open it to find a manila folder with my last name on it.
Inside, I see the same receipts and pictures of Mom, along with Elliot’s name on a sticky note.
My name is written beside his, with details from the night I was almost raped.
This must be The Society’s property. Callum must’ve taken it for me.
I smile, thinking of the man who’d do anything to protect me, and the answers I finally have.
I crave a round with Ricco. It’s the one thing that makes me forget. I turn and make sure that my gym bag is in the back seat. Thankfully, it is.
I drive to the gym. Once I step inside, the familiar lemon scent greets me. I look around for Ricco and spot him in the ring.
I wave to him as I head to my locker. I open it and see the pictures.
My hand runs over them like I’ve done a hundred times, but this time I feel guilty.
I started boxing when Mom left. Dad said I needed to put my anger to good use and pushed me toward Ricco.
He dropped me off one day and said, “I’ll pick you up in an hour.
” It feels like just yesterday, but so many things have changed.
So many things that will never be the same.
Over the years, I’ve changed. I don’t fight against myself anymore. Now, all my demons are at the surface, and I know what I need to do.
I shut the locker door and carry my gloves over to the ring. I lean against it as Ricco finishes with the younger kid he’s training.
“Thought you were a goner.” He looks to me.
“Are you kidding me? You could never get rid of me.”
He smiles from ear to ear, knowing that’s the truth.
I watch him train the boy. He looks troubled, with tattered clothes and holes in the bottom of his sneakers. Once they finish, Ricco walks over and ruffles his hair.
“Tomorrows another day, kid. Don’t beat yourself up,” he says. The boy climbs out of the ring with his shoulders down and his face flat, defeated.
I jump into the centre of the ring and slip my sparring gloves on. Ricco throws his hands up and I bounce from side to side. It’s as if I haven’t missed a day.
After I take a few jabs, I stop and look at him.
“I don’t tell you enough, but you’re amazing you know?”
“Oh, shut up. Quit trying to throw me off.” He looks off into the gym.
“I’m serious. You save us— kids like him… kids like me. You give us a safe haven when we need it most.”
Tears gather in his eyes as he sniffles and shakes his head.
“Don’t go soft on me now.” He punches his fist together. “Come on, let’s go.”
I laugh and throw him another punch. It’s exactly what I needed.
When we finish our round, I grab my bag, change, and wave to Ricco before I leave.
“Don’t wait so long between sessions next time.” He yells.
“I missed you too, old man.” I push the door open and walk toward my car. I pull my phone out and see a text from Callum.
Callum: 437 University Ave, Boston.
I type the address into my maps. “Boston Medical Rehabilitation Facility.” Rehab? Why did he send me this?
I get in the car and look at my phone again… This isn’t what I think it is? No.
He got her out.
I follow the map as I start my drive into the city.
I’ve never enjoyed Boston much. I don’t go to the city often, and when I do, I’m always reminded of why I don’t—the noise, the chaos.
Adrenaline pumps through my veins. What will I say to her once I’m there?
How do I tell her that I’m sorry for everything I’ve done?
I want her to know that we can get through all of this, together.
I want to call Callum and thank him, but I have to get there first.
As I approach the large building, I pull into the parking lot and prepare myself. I sigh before I get out of the car—it’s now or never.
I walk through the front glass door. The foyer is lined by a wall of windows, and the entire building is surrounded by tons of gardens and stone paths. I feel like I’m on a movie set. I step up to the lady that sits at the reception desk.
“Hello Miss, how can I help you?” The roots of her hair are grey, and wrinkles trace her forehead. Her glasses sit at the edge of her nose—I have an urge to reach over the counter and push them up.
“Vanessa Voss. I’m her, I’m her, um, daughter.”
“Just one moment.” She looks at her computer screen and clicks her mouse.
“She’s in room 203. Up the elevator and then second door on your left.”
“Okay, thank you.” I smile.
“Let us know if you need anything else.”
Jeez, the people here sure are nice. How can mom afford this place.
I go up the elevator and stand outside the second door on the left. I stare at it, unable to bring my hand up to knock. I feel like a disappointment.
Just then, the door opens, and woman in a crop top and baggy black jeans walks out.
“Oh sorry, I was just leaving.” She looks me up and down with a smile. “And you are?”
“Her daughter.” I purse my lips. “And you are?”
“Her sponsor, Lexi.”
Lexi’s pixie cut hair is bright red—clearly it’s not natural. She has a piercing through her eyebrow and isn’t the typical person I’d envision as Mom’s new best friend. I enter the room and shut the door behind me.
“That was awkward.” I mumble under my breath.
I walk further into the room and spot Mom, sitting in a chair by the window.
“Mom?” I call out to her softly.
She slowly turns her head. Her face is pale, and her eyes are red, like she’s been crying. Still in her pajamas, her golden hair needs a comb.
“Scarlett.” She uses a tone I’ve never heard, it’s not happiness or excitement or sadness—it’s just calm.
“Hi Mom.” I walk over to the window, not sure whether to hug her or cry.
“How are you, Sweetie?” She quietly asks.
“I’m okay. How are you? I’m so glad you’re here.” I reach for her hand. It’s probably the most affection I’ve shown her in years.
“I’m glad too.” She forces a smile and bites her lip, trying not to cry.
I don’t know where to start, so I just begin.
“Mom, I went to your house. I found the box. I know everything.” I can’t look away from her. I owe her that.
“You had no right Scarlett.” She remains still.
“No right? No Mom, you had no right. Do you know how many times I fell asleep crying? How many times I thought you didn’t love me? How many times I thought it was my fault? I hated you for that. I… I was awful. All while you were quietly suffocating.” She keeps biting her lip, but her tears fall.
“Scarlett, I couldn’t tell you. You were so young, you had so much life ahead of you. Look where you got. I wouldn’t change my decision… because it got you where you are today.”
The person I’ve cried for, the person I’ve needed the last ten years, is finally here.
“I’m.. I’m.. so sorry, Mom.”
“Honey, it was never your fault.” She places her other hand on top of mine.
“We should’ve known that you’d never leave us unless you had to.” I pause. “Dad? Does he—”
“No. I haven’t told him... you should though.” She looks out the window. “Your dad gave up on me a long time ago.”
“He’s never given up on you Mom, he never will.” She faces me with a warm smile. It’s one I haven’t seen in a long time.
“I’m so mad at them Mom, they took so much from us. So many years and missed memories.” My tears match hers.
“We can’t look back honey.” She brushes the side of my cheek with her thumb. Her fingers are soft. She blinks through tears. “Thank Callum for me when you get back. He comes with lots of baggage Scarlett, but he loves you. I’d love to hear what your dad thinks of him?”
“Thank him?” I don’t understand.
“He got me here. He bargained with Leo and got me out. It must not have been easy. He found this place and brought me here. He’s paying for it all. I didn’t want to accept, but he insisted.”
My heart skips a beat. Callum fucking Mercer.
“I love him, Mom.”
“And what’s a little carry-on luggage hmm? Who am I to judge. He saved my baby girl after all.” I smile as she laughs.
“Yes, I guess he did.”
“We’re going to be okay, Honey.” For the first time in a long time, I believe her.
“So, the silver phase? That’s when it all, um, started?”
She looks down at her hands and then back at me. “There’s so much that I’m ashamed of, but I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
“Archer Alder.” The life from her eyes drains at the mention of his name.
“Not that. I’m not ready for that, Scarlett.”
I wrap my arms around her, bringing us both the comfort we’ve needed all along.
“I’m so sorry Mom. You don’t have to face any of this alone anymore. I’m here now.”
And just like that, after years of trauma and trials, we talk like two teenagers who are getting to know each other.
For so long, I’ve tried to fill the void with so many other things like boxing and school, but at the end of the day, I needed my mom. And finally, I have her.