Chapter Twelve - The East sideVanyaXerxes
WHAT THE HELL had I done?
That was all I could think about as the chauffeured car drove me further away from the inconspicuous building in the middle of Uptown and toward my apartment in South Park. My brain was going a thousand miles a minute and the amount of information I was processing had me ready to tap out.
There was a bounty on my head.
Me, Vanya Kennedy, even though that wasn’t my real last name, me. How was I Alice falling down the rabbit hole of assassins and secret organizations? People had been sent to end my life, but here I was. Yet again still standing despite the weapons formed against me. Now did that make Xerxes the Mad Hatter or the Cheshire Cat?
I could blame Frankie because let’s be for real. Had I not been her friend I wouldn’t have ended up in this shit. Wouldn’t have been put in the sights of this man at her wedding and would’ve continued living my mundane unfulfilled life. But I couldn’t really be mad at her. Life since I’d met her had only gotten better. And since I’d met him? I’d had more abundance than I thought possible. Health, wealth, joy and safety. So yeah, Frankie wasn’t really to blame. I kinda owed her to be honest.
And if I faced the truth, I felt like somehow some way I would’ve run across Xerxes. Either in this life, or the next, he would’ve found me. We would’ve found each other. That’s the way his pull felt. Destined. Fated. Like the stars were always going to align to make me his and him mine.
And with that knowledge, the surety of my conviction felt heavy.
I felt like I was being drawn back to him. The last few weeks of us working together and laughing together didn’t show me a Xerxes I didn’t think existed. It showed me the man I’d expected. And having expectations of a virtual stranger was crazy.
I felt free looking at Xerxes. Like my safety was a sure thing when I looked into his deep brown eyes. They were often filled with a longing that only I could fulfill and that made me feel loved. To have a man I knew could burn down the world on a whim was like a dream. As a survivor of childhood and adulthood bullshit, I knew I had never been loved properly. Xerxes made me afraid of the emotions I felt the minute I looked at him but he proved for so long that he wasn’t going to play about me. Today was the confirmation of what I already knew.
Then again, maybe this was just what I was telling myself so that none of this seemed crazy. Because it was crazy, right? I’d just escaped a shoot out with my life and agreed to marry into a family that wanted to kill us both. Something about that made perfect sense and also bordering on insanity at the same time.
‘Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.’
“Boss says to check your phone, Ms. Vanya.” Quentin’s voice broke through my thoughts of Wonderland and the madness I felt like I was falling into.
“What?”
“He’s trying to message you and he’s concerned you haven’t responded. I’ve tried to tell him you’re fine but he wants to make sure.” Quentin barely glanced into the rearview but I could tell he wanted me to hurry up and do what he asked.
“I’m sorry, I’ve been zoned out.”
He chuckled while his eyes still scanned our surroundings. “He saw.”
I blinked twice before his words actually registered. “He—”
Quentin reached back and tapped some box looking thing on the ceiling that I thought was just the car’s fancy interior lights. “He’s always going to have eyes on you, Ms. Vanya. His protectiveness is one of his love languages. Only saw it exercised with his mama and friends, hell even me and Shoaib. But it’s clear he found the right one to bestow it on in you.”
“That’s so nice, Quentin.” I don’t know why I felt so emotional, probably because of everything that had gone on today. But right now, I had tears in my eyes and my heart was doing something funny.
“You haven’t really had people be nice to you before have you?” His voice was sympathetic, but not in the way that made me feel pitiful. It was how Xerxes often sounded. Like he wanted to chop someone up for not having been nice to me.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean there’s politeness and then there’s shock. You always seem shocked when someone is showing you love. Frankly, I don’t like that. If you say the word I’ll handle whoever hurt you for you. You’re like a bunny. All nice and innocent, just minding her own business. Someone trying to mess with you don’t sit right with me.” He looked genuinely pissed off, but my phone buzzed before I could speak up.
“Quentin, he says he will fire you if you mess up his plans.”
Quentin laughed, still keeping his eyes on the road. “Firing would be the least terrible thing he would do so that doesn’t sound so bad.”
“He said that arrangements can be made for worse.”
“I’m sure it could. But I would be down for the assist. Maybe get some jabs in. I’d never seen him so frantic. And not even like it was a physical manifestation. It’s a way his face just goes on automatic when it’s time to go to work. But this time there was urgency. You were that urgency and I’m glad that you’re just as concerned about him as he is for you. In this life, he needs that.”
“And what about you? Is there a Mrs. Quentin?” I was being nosy now but the danger of the day was gone and I could relax.
“Not yet. I’m not ready for that yet and I can acknowledge it without feeling bad about it.” Despite speaking to me, he kept his eyes searching the horizon to ensure we were safe.
“So, like lots of women vying for the position who couldn’t even pay the price of admission?”
“Something like that.” He pulled into the parking garage of my building and I sat unmoving for a minute. It felt like the day had caught up with me and I didn’t know how to handle everything that had gone on. “Should I tell him to come?”
I looked up again, and Quentin was now looking at me through the rearview mirror. “I’m sure he’s in the middle of business.”
“And I’m even more sure he would drop it all if he knew you needed him.”
I bit my lip glancing at the camera, knowing he could probably hear me but not wanting him to feel like he had to baby me. “But this is part of it, right? Being able to handle a moment like this so that he can handle a moment like this.”
“Nobody needs you to be out here bein’ a shooter, Ms. Vanya. We have people for that.”
“Like Navi.”
Quentin’s mouth dropped open before he could catch himself. I smirked at having had caught him off guard. “What—”
“Don’t even try to tell me I didn’t see what I saw. That girl pulled a gun out that was bigger than she was and was aiming as well as the rest of you. I knew there was something extra about her when I met her. She is a wonderful actress but being around people who have acted my entire life, I can recognize it. It wasn’t until she loosened up that she stopped playing a role and allowed herself to be human. So, yeah, you can’t lie your way out of this one.” It had taken me a minute to register what I’d seen, but replaying parts of the day I couldn’t believe that Navi had been out there shooting just as well as the rest of them. She was completely unbothered by bullets flying around her.
“Wouldn’t have lied, I would’ve deferred you to your man for explanation.” Quentin was grinning as though he was happy to have had an out.
“I woke up today single and now I’m somebody’s fiancée.” I was tugging on my hair, an old habit I’d picked up as a kid. The pain on my scalp gave me something else to focus on instead of my thoughts and was my way of self-soothing.
Quentin’s laughter brought me back to our conversation and I released the end of my hair. “Vanya, I hate to break it to you, but you haven’t been single in a good minute.”
I stopped tugging on my hair because Quentin had a point. “As much as I want to call you a liar, I can’t. What do I do now?”
“You process this however you need to and plan your wedding. One thing you should see by now is that you have a literal army of men who will step up to ensure you’re good. One call was all it took for him to come. Another call and the entire situation was cleaned up leaving no one else aware of what went down. That is what you’re a part of. Those in that room were collectively worth more than countries. Have more liquid assets than a few super powers and yet when their brother called, they came. I’m proud to be a part of this organization and for someone who trusts few, like Xerxes does, to trust me. And I know you understand the type of man he is because instead of running away from the gunfire, you ran toward it.”
The tears were back again, and I couldn’t stop them. “Maybe I’m just insane and have been conditioned to put myself in the line of fire.”
The smile he gave had that same sympathy as before. “Maybe that’s true. Hell, it probably is based on those folks that adopted you. But what I know is that this time you made the choice on who to run to instead of being told you had to. And that speaks far louder than anything else.”
I laughed as the tears fell down my cheeks. “I was with you right up until you decided to put my soul on display like that.”
“Ms. Vanya, all of us saw you protect that man, who was two guns, from harm. You think he wasn’t going to put a ring on it figuratively speaking?”
I shrugged and wiped my cheeks while Quentin looked at me like a fool. “I mean…”
“Loyalty in this place is everything. Love is seen as the bonus. You’ve given him both. You absolutely should’ve known, Ms. Vanya.”
I bit my lip and nodded slowly because he’d said the L word and it had me tripped out slightly. I nodded toward the entrance to the penthouse elevator. “I guess I should go inside now.”
Quentin smiled and I really wanted to know why he was single. He was brown-skinned, had a beautiful smile and was always so kind. “He’ll be home soon. I have to say you might want to start packing. We move out of the Warren in a few days and I doubt you’re going to be out of his sight anytime soon.”
I hadn’t listened to Quentin’s advice to pack. Instead, I’d opened my laptop with the idea that I would work to take my mind off of everything and ended up just staring at the screen. My mind was replaying everything that had happened today. From the weird phone call that set all of this in motion, to the way my body reacted seeing a bullet enter Xerxes’ arm and he not flinch. The fortitude it must’ve taken to keep shooting despite the pain in his arm was high. And I hated that he’d needed to have that type of training based on the envy of others. They wanted what they hadn’t worked hard for and my heart hurt for Xerxes. I knew how that felt. Had experienced losing out on what I’d earned because of the greed of other people. I hated my situation wasn’t a one off.
I hadn’t even enjoyed being in the penthouse. It looked stark, like a model home. Xerxes had apparently had it cleaned, decorated and remodeled slightly as a potential corporate property, but the issue that had happened with Patrick prevented him from using it that way. I’d planned to decorate the place with my items, but hadn’t gotten around to it. Now it seemed like it was going to be pointless.
“ Zibā ? Is everyzing okay?”
I looked up and saw Xerxes standing before me and I frowned at the look of fear on his face. I’d been sitting at the desk in the bedroom and quickly started to move to see him.
“I’m fine. Are you okay? You were the one who was shot earlier.”
He pointed at my face without touching me or making me feel intimidated. “You are crying, Vanya. Did you not realize?”
I wiped at my cheeks realizing he was right. I glanced down and the blouse I’d worn was wet in the front.
“I’m okay. Just thinking about today.”
He took a cautious step toward me and I could see him favoring the arm that had been hit. “If you have changed your mind, I completely understand.”
“Changed my mind about what?”
“About being my vife.” His voice was softer like he hated he had to say the words but meant them.
I shook my head and wanted to hug him but I knew I was going to be far too emotional if I did that. “That’s not why I’m crying.”
“It’s not?”
I smiled at him slightly hating that he wasn’t as sure about us as I wanted him to be. “No. I’m crying because I just hate that someone is being so ugly to you. They hate you because you work hard. Because you have things that you have worked hard for. I hate when people covet what someone else has especially when they’re too lazy to go work for it themselves.” The tears were streaming now and my voice was raised. Instead of being put off, Xerxes smiled softly as he watched me speak.
“You speak passionately. Is that somezing zhat has happened to you?”
“Yeah. And I wish I was the only person it had ever happened to. I remember how low it made me feel. How much it would eat at my soul every time. When you work so hard…”
His face darkened angrily and he brushed hair off of my face. “No one will ever make you feel zhat way again, Vanya. I am sorry zhis situation has brought up such terrible memories.”
I stared at him incredulously and I couldn’t believe he was thinking about me right now. “Why are you worried about me? You were shot today. I should be worrying about you. Here, let me hang up your blazer.” I went to remove his jacket from his uninjured shoulder but he took a step back gingerly. “Did I hurt you?”
“No.”
I shuffled my bare feet on the thick cream-colored carpet nervously because I had thoughts but I wasn’t sure how to express them properly. “I don’t mind if you stay here. Am I breaking a rule?”
“No rule. My defenses are down—” Xerxes sounded strained and I felt crushed trying to understand what it was he meant.
“I wouldn’t hurt you. I’m not some spy or something—”
“Vanya, zhe innocence about you is addictive.” He smiled softly before it dropped and he looked mildly embarrassed. “My attraction to you is one I have to put a lot of effort into keeping hidden.”
“You’ve failed. Miserably at that.” I wondered if the man had ever been in the room when e were together. How he spoke televised to everyone how he felt about me. The lust in his eyes spoke of all the things he wanted to do whenever I gave him the green light.
He took a step toward me and my breathing hitched as my heart rate sped up. He sniffed the air around me, groaning softly. “My dick has never poked you in zhe stomach because I’ve never let you get zhat close. Zhis is very close and zhe idea zhat you might be concerned about my attraction isn’t somezing I want in your mind.” He was staring at me with eyes unabashedly filled with lust as I struggled to even catch my breath.
“Xerxes, I’ve agreed to be your wife. You think that seeing you turned on is something that I won’t like?” I looked down seeing a bulge in his suit pants.
He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, flaring his nose. “I’m trying to be respectful—”
“If I didn’t already know that you were, I would’ve let you get shot.”
He barked a laugh and then ran his hand through his hair in resolution. “You do not mind me staying here?”
It wasn’t something that I had ever thought about but I knew we needed to get used to being around one another.
“I’m assuming we’re going to be moving into the house in a few days?” I couldn’t help but be excited at the change my life was going through. I’d fallen in love with the house that Xerxes had purchased and it made me happy that he was happy. And since we were…friends or something like that, I knew I’d be an able to visit. But to have a man like him and a house like that? I truly didn’t have room to receive all the blessings.
He smiled at me like he could see just how happy I was about that. “You assume right.”
“Good thing I really love that house. Otherwise you’d have to be looking for another one.” I was trying to be playful about it but he kept his face serious.
“I’d buy however many necessary to ensure you vere happy.” He looked exhausted and when he swayed slightly I knew he needed to get off his feet.
“I normally have a rule about people laying down in the bed without bathing, but you look like you’re about to fall out.”
“The couch will suffice, Vanya.”
“You were just—”
Xerxes brushed the side of my face with his thumb before quickly pulling his hand back. “ Zibā, trust me on zhis. Zhe sofa is vhere I vill spend zhe night. I have been shot and my emotions have been fluctuating all day. As I said, my resistance is down and I vill not be satisfied with us connecting off of such an emotional event. Rest and I vill do the same. I’m even more comforted knowing zhat we will be facing tomorrow and zhe rest of our tomorrows togezer.”