Chapter Ten
Paige
Music is the balm to a battered heart.
Lying in my bedroom, I crank Tiffany as I shove another donut hole in my mouth. They’re stale from the batch Pierce brought me last week. We were happier. Hell, we were together. How did we end up here?
We have not spoken in two days. I hear him come and go. He stops at my door and tells me how much he misses me. How sorry he is for being such a total jerk at the skating rink. This whole thing could be an episode of Degrassi High for all the damn drama.
“Frenchie do we miss him enough yet?”
Purring on my stomach, she pops open her mouth for another bite of the sweets she loves. I laugh as she chomps on the last piece of donut. Yeah, I guess if I want her to be well fed—and if I want to eat too—I ought to get my pouting, dramatic ass over this.
I mean is it the 80s or not? Can’t I go after the guy?
“Heck yes, I can. That is my guy! Even if he is impossible or being a douche, he is my guy.”
Dusting off donut power and glaze, I storm down the hallway. Taking a hot shower, I wash off my misery, and the past two days of tears and anger. Once I finish the cleansing shower, I spend time doing myself up.
Choosing my best dress—a white lace number much like the outfit I wore on our first date—I slip on the new lacey thigh highs and matching lingerie set I had gotten at the mall. Blair and Bobbi took me on a trip to Frederick after lunch yesterday. They knew I was working up the courage to mend things with Pierce—but I have more than mending in mind.
I intend to seduce Pierce—because I want that man and I want him now.
I cannot stand being apart any longer. He was a jerk that night, yes. Knowing all I do about his father, about how awful a man he was to Pierce and his mother and sister, I understand why. My father was the total opposite—he was there, too involved, too controlling of my life. He did it out of love. I have realized how lucky I was to have him.
Pierce had no one to look to. No one to trust or believe in. No one to learn from, to show him how to be a good partner or a good man. And yet he is the best man I’ve ever known. Even when he is a bit of a douche.
“You love him, anyway, don’t you?”
I tease myself in the mirror as I slick on some strawberry gloss. Because of course, I still love him. Nothing will change that. Not him being a big jealous jerk. Or doubting I could ever want someone else. In fact, all of that makes me love him more—because I know he needs love.
Pierce needs to feel how much I love him—and I can’t wait to show him.
“Don’t look at momma,” I joke as I slip on the silky robe I know Pierce loves. “I am about to go be very naughty with Daddy.”
Laughing as Frenchie just meows—either approval or judgment, I can’t be sure—I fix my hair, plump my boobs a little, and fix my stockings. In the mirror looking back at me is not the same woman I was just a short time ago. Because I have changed, I have grown, and I do not hate what is looking back at me.
I am wider than most women, thicker in the waist, in the thighs, but I know Pierce likes all of me. He kisses my thighs and grips my curving hips. He lavishes love on my imperfections and makes me feel beautiful.
Glancing at the pink neon clock beside my bedside, I take a deep breath. This is it. I am going to do it. Well, we’re going to do it. I am going to finally do…it. Twenty-four years old and I am about to give my virginity to the only man I have ever wanted—and the only man I will ever want.
I am in love with Pierce and plan to show him how much.
Drawing all my courage, all the confidence I have gained these past weeks as I have grown day by day, I go to his place. It is a beautiful Friday afternoon, a perfect sunshine-soaked summer day. Pierce will be home, and I hope to have a long weekend of making up—and at last, making love.
Fixing my robe half a dozen times, I try a few poses as I stand outside his door. Taking a deep breath, I knock on the door. Closing my eyes, I shake off the last bit of fear, or hesitation at this plan of mine. It will work.
“Holy hell,” Pierce”s voice snaps me from my thoughts.
There he stands, staring down at him as I stand half-naked at his door. His eyes slide over me slowly. Each inch of skin I left bare is eaten up by his hungry eyes. They go the darkest blue I have ever seen them. His hands come out, snatching me inside with a hard yank that slams me against him.
“I have been out of my mind,” he rasps as he pins me to the door. “I thought I lost you. Thought I ruined the best thing to ever happen to me. I am so…baby, I am so fucking sorry. I am so fucking in love with you, Paige. I have never felt what you make me feel and I don’t think I can lose you.”
Swallowing hard, I blink back a wave of tears. Emotions I have never felt swirl inside of me, erasing all my fears, all my doubts. I thought I might have to tell him this is love, show him with my words and my body, and I was so ready to. Looks as if Pierce had his own plans.
“Oh, honey,” I cry, tears ruining my makeup. “I love you too!”
Pierce’s eyes light up and he bends, scooping me up. I clutch him to me as he slams his mouth to mine. We’re moving but I barely notice. All I can be sure of is how good he tastes, how right it is being in his arms, and how my body comes to life beneath his kiss, his touch, his embrace.
“I missed you so much,” he rasps as my back hits something soft. We’re in his bed, his big body pining mine down. “I love you, Paige. I think it started the moment you walked into that diner. I said you were a dream girl, and I was right. My dream girl. All I could ever want. More than I could ever deserve. And I love you so much I can’t be without you.”
“Pierce, honey, you deserve everything. We both do. This is the best thing in my life, you are the best thing in my whole world. I love you. I could never want anything more, anything better. Because there is nothing better than this, than how you love me, how you give me everything.”
Stilling, he pulls back to stare down at me. His shaking hands come to untie my robe and I swallow hard. His eyes darken again as they trail over me slowly, admiring, adoring, showing his want, his love, in his dark eyes.
“You’re so fucking beautiful. You really mine, baby?”
“I am. All of me, Pierce. I am yours and you are mine. I told you I wanted you to have me. Have me, honey,” I whisper, feeling bold because of the hunger in his eyes.
“I don’t deserve you, but I don’t care anymore. I want you. I need you, Paige. I love you so fucking much,” he swears as he kneels between my thighs.
Bending close, he spreads my thighs, dragging his fingertips up my thighs, tracing the lace of my stockings, and tugging at the garter belts that make me feel sexy. Heat pulses in my veins and I am sticky and wet with want. Dropping onto the bed, he buries his face between my legs, humming when he finds how wet I am, his tongue licking at the lace covering me.
“Pierce, please, I need you inside me. It will never be more perfect. No more waiting. I want you to make love to me,” I plead.
“No, it is perfect. No more waiting,” he whispers, pulling at my panties to bare me to him. I gasp when his tongue slips between my folds, opening my pussy to his slow, maddening licks.
Twisting beneath the magic of his mouth, I tangle my fist in his hair, rocking against his tongue. He hums against my sex as he licks and sucks, teeth pulling gently at my swollen pearl. I am on the edge of an orgasm when he pulls back. I cry out and he laughs darkly, a sexy, teasing laugh that makes me feel as if I might combust.
Knelt between my thighs, he stares down at me for a minute, as if trying to save the sight to his memories. His hands come down, tugging roughly at the lace of my bra. I cry out when his fingers pluck at my stiff nipples, sending bolts of pleasure right to my clit.
“So damn sexy,” he mutters, wetting his lips. “I love your body. I love how soft your tits are and how pretty your pussy is. You’re mine. All fucking mine. I won’t ever give you up, Paige. You belong to me now. Tell me you know it’s true. Tell me you belong to me.”
“I do. I belong to you. Tell me, Pierce. Say it.”
“I belong to you, Paige. All of me, every single part, it is yours.”
Humming in pleasure, I twist beneath him, as if trying to entice him to seal the deal. To take me. He knows what I want, but he doesn’t give it. Not yet. He falls over me, propped up by his strong arms, his mouth closing over one nipple, sucking, biting, marking my skin. His mouth moves to the other breast, and I am shaking by the time he lifts his head.
Staring down at me, he reaches a hand between us. I can’t see what he is doing, but I gasp when his cock presses to my pussy. We’ve played plenty, I’ve had him in my mouth and stroked him to orgasm before. But feeling his thickness pressed against me, the swollen crown pushing inside me slowly, it takes my breath away.
“I love you,” Pierce whispers, his hips moving slowly, sliding him inside of me a little at a time. “I never want to hurt you, because it’s the same as hurting myself. You’re part of me, Paige. Part of me the way I am part of you…” he groans his words as he pushes deeper, stretching me, and making me ache.
“Oh, yes, yes, honey, please. I don’t care if it hurts. I want you inside me. Now. Please!”
Groaning, he thrusts until he is finally fully inside of me. It burns but it feels good, being so full of him. My hips twist, taking him even deeper and I smile when he grunts and bites my shoulder as if warning me. I don’t heed his warning. I move beneath him again, loving the feel of him pushing even deeper.
“Jesus, it’s so good wrapped around me, baby. I love you, Say it.”
“I love you. I love you, baby. I love you so much.”
Taking my hands, he whispers the words back to me, thrusting slowly as he pins my hands above my head. Our gazes meet and I watch his shimmer with pleasure as he makes love to me. It is slow and sometimes a little uncomfortable. Hands tightly tangled with mine, he rises up, finding a rhythm that has pleasure humming through me, shocking me with its intensity. I have come for him before, but this feels different.
We’re chasing the high together. We’re making love with each other, showing how good we can make each other feel. How right it feels having him deep inside of me, stroking in and out until he drives me to the edge. I cry out as his hips thrust faster, faster, harder, driving me right over.
“Oh, God, yes! I’m coming!”
“That’s it. That’s my girl. Let me feel it, baby. God, that’s so good. I’m…fuck, I’m coming inside you. With you, baby. Come with me.”
Whimpering, I can’t speak I can’t tell him how good it is. How my body and everything inside of me split in half. Half of me before the pleasure of us coming together this way, and the other half that will crave this pleasure for the rest of my life.
“I love you, baby,” Pierce pants against my mouth as he pumps his hips a few more times, jerking inside me as he comes. “Love you so much.”
Collapsing together, we curl up as one, catching our breath, lingering in the sweet glow of our first time together. Pierce holds me close, pressing soft, slow kisses anywhere he can reach. I laugh at the huge smile on his handsome face as we lie there, gazing at one another in the sunshine.
“I love you,” I whisper, touching his face, tracing his brow, wishing I could show him how my heart beats differently because of him.
“I love you, Paige. I never had a doubt what this was, even if I doubted I deserved it. I would never doubt us. Nothing can shake what I feel about you, how much you mean to me. How much this matters to me. It is everything and I never want to wreck it or doubt it again.”
Smiling, I nod, humming some words of that Debbie Gibson song we skated to that night at Skateland. Just can’t shake your love, she said.
Well, she was right. We can’t shake this. Nothing can. Not our fears or our doubts. Not our pasts that were so different yet led us right here, to each other. Right where we’re both supposed to be. We can’t shake this and know nothing else can, nothing will ever be able to.
Lying in the sunshine with the best man I have ever known, who I can’t possibly deserve but won’t give up, I am glad we can’t shake it. Glad nothing can. Because he deserves to be happy, to have his dream girl if that is what I am. And I do too. I deserve the best boyfriend who can feed me, body and soul, and who will send me flowers that make me sick, make me pay for dates because he’s so excited to take me out he forgets his wallet.
I deserve Pierce, and he deserves me—and this is a love nothing can shake.